a story about the devil.

dear memory:

i know you’ve had a lot of questions about the forest ruins lately. i told you a little bit about them and what happened, but not all of it. you seem like a good listener, so i want to tell you a story. sorry if it’s a little long.

once upon a time, there were three teenagers in a summer camp. they were all pretty bad kids in one way or another. no matter how hard they tried, they could never quite seem to get it right.

the first was a girl named cassandra. she was young and kind and well intentioned, but she was fragile. she was the kind of person who took the things she recognized but that no one wanted to tell her about to heart.

the second was a boy named atlas. he prided himself on being responsible and level-headed, and was close with cassandra for a while— but he was the kind of person that got scared when he got too close to people. 

the third was a girl named pandora. she was a bit of a troublemaker with a habit of taking things for granted, and taking things that weren’t hers in the first place. she was the kind of person who didn’t want to let anything go.

i want to tell you a secret about the devil. the devil is only as strong as you are weak. anyone could kill the devil if they really wanted to. it’s just a matter of willpower. but the moment you let it in, it knows you better than you know yourself— and it uses that to destroy you.

once upon a time, there were three bad kids in a summer camp. they tried so hard to be strong, but for all the wrong reasons. instead of trying to be strong for each other, they hid their fears to not seem weak to each other— when what they thought of each other should have been the least of their worries.

cassandra fell first. she knew that something was going on between atlas and pandora, but she cared too deeply for both of them to bring it up, especially when she knew they would deny it if she asked. while atlas and pandora had each other, cassandra was alone. she lashed out at the two of them for leaving her behind and alienating her. an empty hand with none to hold. she knew they wouldn’t understand. so the devil held her hand, and she let it in.

i want to tell you a secret about the devil. the devil turns you into your desperation, and that desperation is all it leaves behind. cassandra’s desperation was a vengeance. it pried and pulled apart, it clawed, it choked. we couldn’t save her, so we did what we had to.

atlas fell second. the grief and guilt was the straw that broke the back of atlas, who had been carrying that weight on his shoulders for as long as he knew her. he saw it as his fault, and the guilt was enough to shatter the pride and strength of the boy who could no longer bear the weight of the world. all he wanted was to be free of that burden, to have the courage to run instead of stay. he was done being the strong one. so the devil suspended the weight, and he let it in.

i want to tell you a secret about the devil. all it wants is to be wanted. it doesn’t matter how. but once rejected, it doesn’t often look back. 

but pandora wanted the devil, and she wanted it dead. 

she wanted it to give back what it had stolen from her. she had rejected the devil time after time when she had so many opportunities to welcome it, and passed them all by. the devil didn’t want her anymore, but she demanded its attention, and it decided to humor her. so the devil told her “defeat me, and everything that is mine will be yours.”

these are the things i learned about the devil. 

first, anyone can kill the devil. all she has to do is try. 

second, the devil turns you into your desperation, and that desperation is all it leaves behind. 

third, all the devil wants is to be wanted. 

finally:

it is absolutely certain the devil is already here.

the devil was born of desperation, and it will die of it as well. pandora opened that box and it was fell to her, and the devil always keeps its promises. in a pact signed in blood, she ripped its heart from its chest and the devil conceded its powers to her.

i became the devil, and its ruin is all i have left. 

its legacy is an ancient crime scene. scattered siren towers, the cabin, an empty hand, the weight of the world, and the devil’s scar upon the earth. 

dear memory:

you know the devil.

i’ll tell you the rest another day.

-pandora amaranth.