In the Beginning
Floating within the void, the world around her was empty and blank and she knew she did not belong here and that a vessel was calling her, a new home. Mist slowly formed around her, cradling her gently as she was engulfed within the mist and her first breath of air filled her lungs.
Empty thoughts ran through her mind and she remained emotionless as oxygen slowly filled her lungs for the first time in her life. She was a new creation and life form. It was slow and steady as she figured out the pattern in which breathing worked, inhale, exhale, and repeat. It felt like such an odd phenomenon, something that could not be explained to someone else. The feeling that every cub has when they are newly born, their friend breath and their first few moments within the world. The mist swirled and danced around the small frail body, as if it was protecting the form that laid there along and lost. Watching as it created and birthed something as precious as another dreamer.
Sanja couldn't remember anything before this moment in time, it was like a blank space within her own head. She could feel emotions, create a proper through within her own mind. It was blank. Almost as if there was a wall blocking her out and keeping her safe from something. Unless it was just a wall, and maybe there was nothing behind it? The first emotion she remembers feeling was confusion, questions that she didn't know she has the ability to created filled her head. Every single one of them without answers. This was another feeling she could never explain, nor did she really want to figure out how to. This felt like something personal to her that maybe was not meant to be shared or talked about. Opening her eyes for the first time she took in what she could. The familiar mists that formed around her and cradled her still surrounded her, protected her. Blinking a few times she just laid there experiences the feeling of life for the first time. The fact she could feel her toes, the top of her tail flicking slightly, her ear moving as she tried listening for something that might help her.
It took some time before she was able to build the strength and the ability to move onto her feet. It only took a few trips and tumbles. Movement to her felt foreign, having to learn how to move each limb in order for her to walk even the shortest of distances. Her body was learning with her, building that strength to move and function like everyone else. Each little movement caused her weak muscles to flex, creating once again another odd feeling for the young Sanja. While it took a while, it was something she was able to get use to.. and became something she no longer pays attention to.
Unaware of the time that pasted, Sanja spent that time getting used to her own body and how it functions until she felt comfortable enough to wander further within the mist and maybe getting some answers that she was looking for. Waking up was such a strange encounter for her. Being born as a friend dream lion was something that was very difficult for her. It felt like she knew what she was meant to be doing but at the same time her brain and her body said otherwise. She was never able to place it, and even after all the years that passed after this event. While it hasn't been that many, but its been long enough that she hoped she would have has the answers for it already. She will try figure it out every now and again, talking to the other dream lionesses and asking them their experiences after waking up. But it seems that everyone is different and so many of them had lived lives beforehand. Something that Sanja has never had the pleasure to do. So it was going to be up to her to figure out the questions and answers that she had regarding her waking up.
With the help of the others within the mists and was able to figure out the basics. As she grew stronger with herself and her confidence more of her personality started to show. She went from the quiet unsure lioness to the head strong stubborn and loud mouth lion that she is now.
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Sanja was given the time to learn and train, listening to the others and having them teach her how to use her element and physical form to protect herself. Unlike the others within the mist Sanja refused to leave and interact with the lions of the Freyr. She dreamed to leave and explore, but there was just something about the safety of her home and knowing what was around her. She had managed to walk within the dreams of the lions outside the mist and she has seen some of the memories and thoughts they had. She didn't believe in herself to go out there and survive the real world.. Not matter how interesting it might be.
The time Sanja has been alive is quite short, its only been two dozen years since her 'birth' so she has not had the chance to really explore and find who she truly is. Most of it has been her trying to figure everything else out, trying to find answers and trying to grow the strength to finally leave and go places she has never been. There has to been a reason why she was created and put here, and she didn't want to waste it with hiding and staying away from the real world. As currently her only escape is with the dreams she can sneak into and alter. She tends to hide her insecurities with herself, and put on a show for the others. Coming up with reasons why she doesn't want to join them on trips out of the mist or hang around with them. They seem to work, so she just keeps up with that act.
During this time Sanja has tried many times to leave and adventure within the Freyr but each time he ended with her failing and walking back to her home in shame. Why couldn't she push herself to do this, why was she so scared of the outside world? What could be stopping her from leaving? Maybe it was something she needed to talk to someone about, seek their help. Maybe they can help her set her free so she can live her dreams and explore what she sees within the dreams.
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Sanja sat upon a rock near the edge of the mist, looking out to where the freyr would be. So many thoughts ran thought her mind and it was killing her. She was given the offer to join one of her sisters and visit the Freyr but at the last moment she had turned it down. It would have been her first time leaving the mist and she didn't think she was ready for it. So many things could happen. She could get lost, or hurt, or something.. To many things to think about it when she could remain home and within the safety of the mist.
"You are being foolish, nothing is going to happen. Stop being a baby and just go join her"
Maybe if she hyped herself up she would grow the courage to go and leave the mist, but she knew deep down it would never happen. Narrowing her eyes she stood up and took a few more steps closer to the edge but froze. Panic settled deep into her chest stopping her straight in her tracks. It felt like her heart was beating a mile a minute and it took her a few minutes just to calm down and lower her heart rate. Dropping her head she became disappointed in herself. How can she be this weak and fearful of this? The others come and leave without an issue and here she is panicking. She hated herself in this moment.
"Pathetic. That's what I am. I'm all bark no bite.. Waste of space"
Returning back to the rock she sat on before she sat down one again waiting for her sister to come home so she can head back.
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Looking forward Sanja watched as the mist twirled and circled her, almost as if it wanted to play a game with her. Tilting her head to the side she kept a careful eye on it, curious about the true powers that the mist has. She was just about to scurry further into the mist when she felt a tap on her shoulder and she looked back to see a fellow dreamer standing behind her
" How can I help you?" Sanja relaxed her stance a little more, her attention turned to the lioness.
"She is coming, follow we need to greet her with Ermys"
Nodding Sanja followed up behind her, glancing around keeping an eye out for what ever might be roaming the mist. She had heard about a large group of lions coming from the outside world, and one of them was within her home searching for answers. She wasn't thrilled about a outsider wandering the mists, but she knew there was more to what was happening then she would know. She was just a small cog in the machine that is the world.
"Do we know anything about this group? Who they are and what they stand for? I don't like that they are here at all.. But their dreams are strange.. Have you walked along them yet? Seen what the outside world looks like?" That was the only good thing in her mind about this group, their dreams were filled with so many different places and lions. It was like a feast..but with images and knowledge. Sanja has spent every night watching and exploring, poking into their minds to catch a glimpse of what might be out there. Before they came along the only thing she knew was was the other dream lionesses would tell her.. She could have learned more if she wasn't scared of leaving her home and the safety of the mists.. She knew that the lions of the Freyr would have answers as well, but she couldn't get herself to explore away from all that she knew. This was her home and it was here to protect her.
"You can get the answers later Sanja, for now we need to hurry as she is almost here"
With that statement their pace picked up, and both of them trotted along towards a clearing. Upon entering she was able to see her sisters and Ermys standing and waiting for the pride lion to finally figure out their way here. Sanja was excited to see what was about to happen. This was going to be her first chance to meet and see a lion that doesn't belong here. Her first physical taste of the outside world. Dancing from paw to paw she stood there impatiently waiting for the arrival of the guest. Glancing to her right she nodded to one of her sisters standing above her on a rock, stoic and she waited patiently for everything.
Upon seeing Eratrea walk into the clearing her eyes went wide and was giddy with excitement. It was finally happening. Watching and listening young Sanja took everything in, letting all the words sink in. There were so many times when she wanted to speak up and say something but she knew better. The questions she would have had asked. It was during this when she realized that maybe it might be time to try again. Try leave the mist and visit the freyr, meet lions. She has had the chance to talk in some of the pride lions dreams and she was even more curious.
She almost missed the fact that Ermys and Eratrea were finished talking when she noticed that the pride lioness had started to walk away from the group. Glancing up she still saw her sister standing on the rock beside her
"Can you take me to the freyr? I think I wanna meet some more of these pride lions"
Sanja didn't fail to notice the look of shock on her sisters face when she asked, but calmed down quickly when she nodded
"We can go later today"
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Once again Sanja was standing at the edge, ready to venture out into the freyr. Taking in plenty of breaths and a few moments to herself she pushed herself a few steps forwards.
"I can do this."
She mumbled this to herself, mentally preparing herself for something that freaked her out for so long. Today was the day she was going to stop letting the fear control her, she was going to take control of her life and finally do it. Taking a few more steps forward she could feel the mist thinning out. She was almost there
"One. Two. Three. Four"
She counted as she took the last steps out, until she was finally free of her personal prison. She let out a few heavy breaths as she stood there with the dumbest smile on her face. Today was the day she has won. Nobody could stop her now. She was too powerful now. Freedom. Without much more thought she pushed forward and followed behind her sister who lead her way. It blew her away that she was able to finally leave. No longer caged by the mist she called home. All the things she could do now..
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When she finally left the mist for the first time it lead to a lot of growth within Sanja, she learned how to socialize with more lions and the proper way to conduct herself within such large groups. It did take a while for her to get used to the numbers by the end she felt comfortable enough around everyone.
She heard many stories about the outside world and what its like out there, it sealed the deal on her dreams of one day exploring there and seeing them for herself. Even if it took a life time she knew that one day she would go out there and explore on her own. It became her new goal. One she would never give up on.