LQ1 - As Far As I Needed To Go

My parents named me for the truth, but I have never been good at telling it. Because if I were to tell the truth, the full truth, well I’m not certain anyone would believe me.

So instead, I will write it down.

I wasn’t born gifted, I wasn’t born with power flowing in my blood. In fact, despite my colorful markings, I was quite unremarkable. The most remarkable thing about me in the end was my companionship.

I met Valdis when I was younger. He passed through my simple mountain herd like a storm. Arrogant, brash, and sly, he left many mares baffled and our stallion quite angry. But like clockwork, he began to come back yearly. He made me feel special, taking time to talk to me as he passed through.

So one year, I left with him.

I am not particularly gifted, mind you. But Valdis had a strange sort of magic, an incomprehensible kind, rarely seen. He came from a tribe far in the mountains that tattooed their young. The phoenix on his coat moved, and would sometimes detach and simply fly off for a bit. To my younger mind, it baffled me. It was magic I had never seen, and I wanted to learn more.

So we traveled, him telling me stories of his grandeur, of his exploits.

It was not easy traveling, that's for sure.But he was a stallion on a mission, to get his own land. He had been tasked with asinine quests to complete in this journey, and I was there for every step of them.

The first task we undertook (for I was very much part of them, much as anyone could be traveling with such a dominating presence) was to steal a feather from a Tengu. I had never gone far from my herd, nor our grazing lands. The mountains were wild and untamed outside my little world. High, snow capped peaks, sheer cliffs, the open wind, it entranced me. I never thought to question what a Tengu was, or what kind of mission we were on. He gave me his attention, and I basked in it.

So when Valdis turned to me, and said, “Well Verity, we are close to where the rumors say a Tengu is. You will have to distract them while I grab a feather,” I simply nodded and bowed my head to his wisdom. He was older than me, surely he knew better than me what we were getting into.

“What is a Tengu?” I had finally asked as we entered that sheer mountain pass.

“A demon,” Valdis had replied, with a taunting grin that infuriated me, yet pushed me harder. I could be like this stallion, I could be confident and take from the world, giving nothing in return. I would make a name for myself!

Nothing truly prepared me for the reality of what we were facing. The creature was at least four times my size, with a monkey like body, a strange and hairless flat face, and great wide feathered wings. It was a terrifying thing, who’s fang filled mouth could have swallowed me whole when it screeched.

Nevertheless, this was the thing we must face.

Valdis left me standing there, staring up at that beast who was nesting on an outcropping above. It was then I realized I had nowhere to go, nowhere to hide should it attack. All I could hope was that the skinny path between two cliff faces was too small for the beast to enter.

As I think back, recording this for those who may wish to know my truth, I cannot help but pity my younger self, so eager to please, so excited by the world that she rushed off with the first person who had given her a way out. She was not strong, not in the ways that mattered. Bright of mind, but too innocent to the world to think that there might be something just a bit strange about all of this. She was indeed weak of mind and soul. A sheltered beginning is good for staying safe and growing up healthy, but I left my herd before I really learned anything beyond where the best grasses in our little mountain valley were. I’m not sure I would change how things went, though, now that I look back.

But Valdis…. He was too domineering, too sure of himself. He had goals set high above his station, above any right he had to make them. He didn’t just want power; he wanted a power to rival the deities above. In my young age, and sheltered growth I didn’t know that the status of a lesser deity could be reached by practicing your skills and by becoming better. To me, he was a warrior doing battle with magic and the gods themselves, breaking a natural order that I perceived to exist.

I’ve always liked hero stories, the tales where a shining knight saves the fair maiden, and the big bad evil guy is slayed in the end. But face to face with the Tengu, all I knew was fear. But Valdis had given me a mission, and I knew I must do my best to assist him. A feather from a Tengu, that's what we were after. So, with shaking legs and lightheaded from fear, I strode forward.

“Tengu!” I called out. Or rather, barely squeaked. I cleared my throat and tried again.

“Tengu!”

This time the beast turned its gaze to me. A strange growl came from its throat, and as it’s gaze fixed on me, I remember thinking that I was going to die here.

“What are you here for, little mortal?” The Tengu said, or perhaps spoke directly to my mind. I cannot recall if its mouth moved in sync with its words, or if it spoke some incomprehensible language that’s meaning was forced against the brittle walls of my mind. It was as if any preconceived barrier to my mind had been ripped wide open, and my mind was not quite part of me anymore, floating in the wide space of mentality I had never considered.

I vaguely remember seeing Valdis approaching the beast from behind, but since it’s eyes had met mine it was impossible to look away fully, to see the full picture instead of the overwhelming presence in front of me.

I had captured the beast's attention. I do not know if my bravery (or more rather, stupidity) had fascinated this creature. I couldn’t even begin to fathom what was going through its head, no more than I could fathom its power.

“I….. I wanted to ask you a question!” I had squeaked out, perhaps after a few seconds or perhaps it was hours. Looking back a lot of it was a blur, and trying to figure out how long our encounter lasted was hard to judge.  

“Then ask, Mortal,” the voice reverberated through me, feeling like it was in my very bones.

I panicked at that point. I had no questions, other than why was I here. What had I done to deserve this?

“What does my future hold?”

I hadn’t planned to ask the question. I had no idea if the Tengu was gifted with the ability to answer my questions, to know the future. But I suddenly needed to know the answer, with a desperation that I didn’t know I had possessed.

What could have been a laugh came from the Tengu. “Little Queen, many things lay in your future,” it replied.

Then everything went black.

I felt like I spun for an eternity in that darkness. For Valdis to tell the story, it would be a valiant rescue, jumping in to save me from the Tengu with nothing but wit and charm.

Given how sore I was, and the fact that I was in the same spot without the ground distrurbed when I woke, he had left me.

Hours had passed, for it was dark when I woke. I think it was the hoofbeats that woke me, for as I struggled to my hooves I found Valdis slowly approaching with the Tengu feather braided in his mane like a trophy. He seemed smug and annoyed all at the same time, as if checking on me was a big inconvenience that he felt forced to do.

Besides the slight widening of his eyes as I scrambled to my hooves, he betrayed no other emotion.

“Good, you finally woke up,” Valdis said, with a snort. “You are lucky I was here to save you.”

When he noticed the feather he snorted in an annoyed way. “Might as well grab that, we might need an extra.”

I reached down and took it, surprised by its feel. And alone in the middle of the Mountains, far from home, I did the only thing I could. I followed when he gestured for me to.

We traveled far that night, and my exhausted body could barely keep up. But when we came to stop for the night I laid awake for many hours despite my exhaustion, staring up at the stars high above the rocky outcropping we rested on and debated what I had done to get to this point, and how much further I was willing to go.

The answer was clear in those stars, the Tengu’s words echoing in my mind.

As far as I needed to go.