Ryn (🔹 Godfucker)

here's the AU were ryn is a sim, has Regular Sized hands, and is powerful enough to fuck God
can you believe all this is possible without mods or cheats bc i still cant

• virtuoso. of what? everything
• unbelievably jacked. will bench your life. will bench your wife
• enough of a thot that everyone has lowered their expectations of him enough that they dont give a shit if he cheats
• everyone who has ever set foot in the magical realm is automatically part of his terrible arcane polycule
• strangers will attack him on sight but he will beat them into a bloody paste and then seduce them instantly
• lives on a patch of lawn with nothing but a public bathroom, his massive collection of cauldrons, and 7 other members of a world-class orchestra who he keeps alive with his wicked brews
  • every nite is mac n cheese nite
  • Sleeps under the stars in one of eight blisteringly expensive single beds. There's also a cheap horrible double bed right next to the curb but that's only for special occasions ;)
• physiologically incapable of shame
• greets EVERYONE with a deep, passionate kiss on the lips regardless of relationship status or sexual orientation. Everyone's cool with it.
• immune to fire, never needs to eat sleep or piss
• immortal
• unkillable
• wiped the floor with Death himself
  
• the entire universe is his bitch and there's nothing that God, the Devil, or we can do about it

meta info:

sim!ryn has a very special place in my heart and has done so ever since the chrismas of 2017 when i got this stupid game & randomly elected him as my "player character" in a massive house full of all my ocs at the time. when i play the sims i go hard. i go so hard i play for days on end and then i dont touch it for 2 years. having his Uncomfortable portrait in the bottom left corner of my screen for 200 hrs caused me to develop lima syndrome and its probably why i fell in love with him enough to make him my main protag i'm not even kidding you

when Sparkly Magic Dudes dlc came out i broke my vow 2 never touch it again and i started a new save & sim!ryn's back babey but this time he's mutated, like a strain of life-ruining bacteria developing antibiotic resistance, into the ultimate, eternal chad