I used to want to be more popular as well, but now I've reached the point that it doesn't really matter for me. As long as I'm happy making the art I post, it doesn't matter if it gets little attention. There are many people out there who do love you and what you do online, even if it doesn't seem like it with the amount of attention you get.
As for your past, don't let it take you down now. It's happened and you can't do anything about it, so you just need to learn to live with it, even if it makes you feel a little bad. If anything, you should only let it make you a better person now by learning from those events.
Plus, there's no shame in taking a break. We all need it once in a while, I hope it helps you to recover from this. And remember, you can reach out for help at any time. I don't think I can say much more than I already have, but there's a lot of people out there who are willing to listen to you and help. You'll get through this, even if it seems nowhere in sight <3