Shenmi

Shenmi is very tall and thin. She has very long legs and seems very gracile and elegant. Shenmi is a child of nature - her antlers and hair are full of living plantlife, and her hair and tail keep dripping full of water. She always has a mysterious, almost serene vibe around her. Yet, flowers around her seem to bloom and animals seem to love her. Her antlers can vary in shape and size as she sheds her antlers from time to time.

Shenmis appearance however changes with her mood. While she has bright, lovely colours while she is happy or neutral, her colours change when she is either sad or angry. When sad, her colours taint into a chocolate brown. The flowers around and on her seem to wither away. When she is angry, however, her colours turn dark, almost black, and the constant water in her hair and tail turn red like blood. The flowers around and on her grow thorns and become dangerous.

Shenmi represents my emotional self, or to be exact: My fragile emotional world. When I created Molly, I have been fighting a years-long depression. I have been at the very bottom,and I wanted someone to be able to represent the struggles and dark times. Shenmi is fragile and very sensitive. She is like a flower in the wind: If she is taken care of and loved, she blooms and is her best serene way. She is kind, reeeaally empathatic, she will always look to help others in need. She always speaks very timid and quiet. Shenmi is very shy and doesn't approach others at random. She is much more relaxed around elderly people and enjoys taking care of them. She is so peaceful that animals are not scared of her. She is one with nature, and she often will return to forests and lakes as she feels safe there.

But if she is stressed out, put under pressure or if fate has struck her, then she can lose herself in the darkness of her emotions. Sadness is something that lingers in her for a while, that takes the joy out of her. When she is sad, she will try to not make others worry and so she rather hides herself, sometimes almost drowning in her own tears. What is really dangerous is her anger and frustration, though. She is not able to handle it well, and she gets antsy, aggressive - but only towards herself. She keeps on hating herself then and wishes for nothing more than redeeming pain. She is often self-harming when she cannot control her anger anymore.

Shenmie has been designed by my best friend Zelendur as an adoptable that I bought from her. As my bestie, Zelendur knows me better than anyone and therefore tried to combine everything I love into one character: and out came Shenmi. I always wanted a character to represent my fragile state of mind, and the slim, gracile and serene looking Shenmi was perfect for that. She looks like so much inner peace - and knowing that is so fragile.. it fit well.

While Molly represents my success of fighting the depression, Shenmi represents the hard battles, the long nights, the desperation in between. Eventhough I am feeling much better than I was a year ago, I know how quickly everything can go tumbling down again. I am proud that I did it, I am also proud of the long and hard road I had to take to get better, but I am also afraid of it coming back. Shenmi represents all of that inner fights and uneasiness, hidden beneath that beautiful kelpie. I decided to give her multiple forms, depending on her mood, to make it obvious what emotion is riddling her/me.