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William Wonka

Job chocolatier
Age looks mid-40s
Pronouns he/she/it
Race human
Height 5' 5" (without hat)
Build: portly
--- ---,
Playlist 'Memento Mori'

The Wonderful Whimsical Willy Wonka: a mystery of magical candy concoctions, the pinnacle of confectioners, and proof that you should never meet your heroes.

He(/she/it) may seem fine at first; eccentric of course- what inventor isn't- but quite the bit self-grandiose, the sort that tells you not to eat anything whilst chewing on chocolate, and always feels like they think they're better than you. Yet, there's little quirks... rushed speech, compulsive alliteration, a posh English accent that occasionally slips into something less rehearsed, the unwrapping of little candies from a hidden pocket when stressed, and an odd fixation with Temptation and Death that results in a Las Vegas-esque musical number mid-tour (Did he practice that?!)

A genius prone to spirals, to fixations, to paranoia of her own mind, who closed its factory certain the world was out to get it, who reopened its factory after, at 3am in the dark of its office, realised that no Lazarus Machine nor Wonka-Vite would likely succeed. Willy Wonka did not want an heir, but it had become another nocturnal necessity.

And so: Six Tickets, Six Trials of Temptation.


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Visual Notes


  • When in public, commonly has flamboyant posing; often leans on or poses with cane.
  • Jacket has a slight floral pattern to it.
  • Factory has a kind of colourful, whimsical, art-deco feel.

Who is Willy Wonka?

Willy Wonka- of whom does not even like the name 'Willy'- is the poster-child for media idolization. The fantabulous, fantastical, magnificent candyman who mysteriously disappeared a decade ago- always a headliner- left newspapers to their own imagination. The chocolatier was already well-reputible, inventions and products beyond belief; but the mystery of his factory's closure snowballed him to something of a legend. Every adult and child had their own opinions on how the man would be on the day of the tour...

What greeted them was perhaps not what they expected. Short and large, a victorian-esque rainbow of an outfit, they thought perhaps this was the wrong person? But quickly with prescence alone, a song and a dance, a self-assuring smirk, and a lot of grandeur motions, this was in fact the fabled confectioner.

With a posh British accent, and alliteration abound, William Wonka is most certainly a showman at heart. She can come off as quite smug and arrogant at times, self-grandizing, and certain that she's right (because, by her strange logic, she is). Still, she's rarely directly dismissing, instead hiding it in complicated sentence structures ("You're Wrong, Willy Wonka!' you cry, but you're wrong, therefor I'm right about you being wrong about me being wrong, right? Right."), dark puns and jokes, accusatory suggestions, or pretending she didn't even hear them in the first place. With dramatic motions, off-putting moments of stress, riddles of temptation and death, a 'Lazarus Room' that we 'Don't speak about', and the energy of that one smug cat with knives pointed at it, this little man always leaves people on their feet and a litttttle bit concerned for their own safety.

In private though, it's often a different story. William Wonka is a genius- that cannot be debated- but he lives at the mercy of his own mind. Prone to overthinking and obsession, it's not uncommon to find him in his dressing gown, mumbling to himself in his study at 3am; spirals often begin in the middle of the night you see, whether it be about an unfinished invention, paranoia of the opposistion, or his crippling obsession with his own mortality: he is proof that genius comes at a cost. Between fixations, self-debate, and the choir of Oompa Loompa that try whatever they can to cheer him up, his decade alone and unhelped has lead his logic to become twisted. But throughout it all, he still cares dearly about one thing: Candy.

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  • Vocally British in Accent. Posh, but a hint of an Estuary London accent when taken off-guard or particularly offended. Alliterates often, but far more when stressed/excited/etc. "Confidently Curious is the Child? How Catastrophic."
  • Very stressed almost all the time. Generally good at hiding it in public, but gets a higher-pitched strain and groan to his voice when she's on the edge.

    Wonka will occasionally mentally short-circuit momentarily, stare blankly forward, rummage around inside her jacket, and pull out a little candy-ball in foil. With two fingers daintily on each stem, she'll tug outwards to let it unwrap, and then pop it in her mouth. She doesn't wait until her mouth is empty to speak, but if someone annoys her she'll put one finger in the air and make them wait infuriatingly long until she finishes her mouthful.
  • Optionally messes with people if she deems them frustrating, and logically reasons it as 'teaching them a much-needed lesson'.
  • Commonly quotes 'Memento Mori'- Remember We Must Die. One of his biggest goals is to overcome death, and this has resulted in multiple failed machines, a de-aging candy (Wonka-Vite) that he can't seem to master, and seeking an heir. One may notice that other than the heighest room's giant window, no clocks are allowed in the factory. The lack of knowledge of time most certainly hasn't helped his decade of swirling in his own thoughts.

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The only human who's ever managed to get Wonka to come down from a spiral- something even the Oompa Loompa struggle with. The caring mother of the man's heir orginally involved herself in effort to protect Charlie, to try and goad the chocolatier to therapy. But over time, she simply learnt how to work with him in a way he needed, where things went, what worked when things went wrong, and Wonka began to trust her in a way he hadn't in decades. Molly brings out a sweeter side in the usually unruley man. He coos over her, calls her petnames like 'gumdrop' and 'butterscotch', and she calls him 'dumpling' and 'teddy bear'. Still he can be a little bastard, and she'll tell him off with an 'Oh- William, stop-' and he'll pout and respond with some comeback of 'well it was warranted'.


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Willy Wonka did not want an heir, and a few months in to his residency in the factory, Charlie realised this. The two do not see eye-to-eye, an almost troubled father-son dynamic forming (especially once he began romancing his mother). Wonka teaches Charlie all he needs to know should he finally inherit the factory (something the candyman is trying hard to make sure won't happen), but there's an edge to his tone, like the boy reminds him of his own failures to escape death. "Memento Mori, Charlie" says the man with a lost look in his eyes, and Charlie feels himself even more determined to become so much better than his fallen hero has. Willy Wonka often wonders if Charlie was the best pick. Perhaps Miranda- no, he tries not to think about that lapse in judgement.


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The Oompa Loompa are a means to an end, not his friends, his workers. Still, despite the fact he often refuses to remember their names, he does remember each and every one, and he perfers them far more to any human he's come across (bar Molly). Although for his own thread of insanity left: Only Three Oompa Loompa in his prescense at a time; he gets headaches otherwise.


'It Must Be Believed to be Seen' - CatCF West-End

-- Canonically Sung

Beyond this door's invention
Where mind meets with machine
Beyond these gates, Astonishment waits
But it must be believed to be seen

No magic spells or potions
Forswear legerdemain
My kingdom's created from notions
All swirling inside of my brain




'Simply Second Nature' - CATCF West-End

-- Canonically Sung (in the Chocolate Room)

A poet sits for hours
With words upon his tongue
He cannot help but rhyme his doom and gloom
So if you taste my flowers
You’ll see that I’m among
That certain group, that lucky troupe for whom

It’s simply second nature
To wish away the gray
To take a licorice stick and make a tree
Yes, there’s no rhyme or reason
I was simply made this way
What’s strange to you is natural to me




'Memento Mori' - Will Wood

-- Canonically Sung (las vegas-esque number post-Inventing Room)

One day you're going to die
No need to fear 'cause when it's here you won't be alive
Try not to think about it
One day you're going to die
And there's probably nothing after
One day you're going to die
So if you only have one chance you oughta try your best to live as you like
One day you're going to die




'My Time' - Bo En

Days go by, It can't be helped
Moments pass, Shattered glass
Hands of time, Where’s that chime?
In my head- I'll just- I'll just- I'll just- I'll just-

Hands (hands!) of time will wring my neck
Every little moment spells regret
But I don't have to feel this way
As a voice inside my head




'Kitchen Fork' - Jack Conte

Pick out her heart with a kitchen fork
Pin down her arms
Wake from the scar, still feelin' sick
Where did it get started?
Where, oh, where did this come from?
Oh my God, my head's a gun


I let myself go




"Five Children Presumed to be Dead"

-- As Charlie processes the traumatic events of the tour, pieces of the puzzle begin to slide together...
(Set in Wonka's Office.)

As Charlie stared across the broad wooden desk, a deep emotional pain began to well-up in the young boy's eyes. Stifled words finally uttered a question he still wasn't sure he wanted to ask. "You- you didn't plan it, did you Mr. Wonka?"

The chocolatier had expected this. He had hoped it would have been sooner honestly, that the child would be brighter; but perhaps his heir was as much a disappointment to him as his answer would be to the heir.

"The hand of fate needed an arm, and I simply volunteered."

The portly man, lit by the eerie blue glow of the fishtank, did not shuffle in his office chair, nor did he show any sign of remorse in his almost exasperated response. As he finally honoured Charlie with his gaze, head lifting from his paperwork as he spoke, the boy's heart sunk; Willy Wonka was supposed to be his hero.