Zane Lune (Metrianda)'s Links
[4-9-21]: An annoying, childish, self-proclaimed whore who stresses me out—yet, paradoxically, also puts me at ease. Have I 'fallen' for him? Worrying. For now, I will presume my destroyed mental state is causing such delusions, given my desire to be with him increases the more distressed I am. I hope that I can fix this.
[6-22-22] Oh my Lord, we are— This is incorrect, yet I— Gods, 'feelings' are complicated and aggravating. ᴵ ᵃᵈᵒʳᵉ ʸᵒᵘ, ˢᶦʳ. ᴵ ᵃᵐ ˢᵒʳʳʸ ᴵ ᶜᵃⁿⁿᵒᵗ ᵉˣᵖʳᵉˢˢ ᵗʰᵉˢᵉ ᶠᵉᵉˡᶦⁿᵍˢ ᵐᵒʳᵉ ᵖᵘᵇˡᶦᶜˡʸ, ᵇᵘᵗ ˢᵘʳᵉˡʸ ʸᵒᵘ ᵘⁿᵈᵉʳˢᵗᵃⁿᵈ.
My darling partner. I find myself wishing he would be softer with me at times but I know I deserve most of the strain I receive. He has been through much for my sake and I am eternally grateful that he chooses to still stick with me. I trust him with my life.
[4-9-21] Extremely powerful. Dangerous. Seems quite calculative. Can cause quite a bit of damage without being present, be it through magic or his subordinates. I am trying to stay on neutral terms with the man for the sake of my own safety, though it seems he wishes to mess with me regardless. He has already manipulated my relationship with Mayor Leagallow. I fear him, therefore, despite how harmful he is to me, I will stay passive. Mayhap if I continue to dance for him, he will consider me amusing enough for him to keep around when he finally decides to attack in earnest.
An attractive young man, his connections to The Moon and the Storyteller are important, if I can get ahold of him and his family then we may be set for the conclusion of my takeover.
[4-9-21] I still quite like this man, but I am starting to see ugly cracks in him that I missed during our first two encounters. For one, he is a shameless homosexual who snogs his lover in public. DISGUSTING. He also enjoys lying as a pastime, even about the most innocent of topics; I try to play off my distaste, as I do approve of the man, otherwise. Other than that, he is competent, well-dressed, and extremely accommodating for a supposed 'enemy' of us. To think, he is the brother of that detestable spider god! I still need to inform him about her someday.
Interesting man. Quite weak, health-wise and strength-wise, likely of little use, but certainly entertaining. Perhaps he could be, or is, an adept magic-user. Certainly, one to keep track of.
[4-9-21] He is fine. I have become used to his height. He performs his job well enough, given all the stress he has. Sometimes, I even feel a tad bad for him, and I regret my previous actions against him. I feel rather uncomfortable around him, due to those forged texts Doctor Trian sent to me. It is difficult to look at him anymore. I am weak, and do not wish to remember being emotionally manipulated.
Doctor Lune is certainly an interesting figure. I have my qualms with his way about things, and his actions, but he seems, at least *seems* to genuinely care for Maldreth. Which is good, men like him and Maldreth need that sort of connection here, something to feel sane by.
I regret attempting to kick him out, but I was afraid we would have another Nyx situation, or a Solarious situation, or a Saan situation, or a Muka situation. I cannot keep going through that, It's agonizing.
[4-9-21] I gave her many chances, despite how poorly she treated me, but I am through with being her whimpering kicked dog. While she puts on a calm and acceptable façade, she is truly just another angry brute behind the mask. I respect her for her power and nothing else. She is worthless otherwise, and if I CAN, I will take great pleasure in taking her down. No mercy for Victory.
Better than the teifling, for sure, but overall, a near worthless man. I could find use for him, if he gets over his mental issues. Though I doubt he is strong enough to do that, seeing as he's an /evolved/.
He is not NEARLY as monstrous as he looks, surprisingly. Overall, he is rather courteous and caring. His soup is better than average. Thank goodness he is not a patisserie or something else terrible. I would not call him 'quick witted,' but he seems smarter than the bulk of the Mayess Heroes.
After we have spent sometime together in the Underglass I do see him a better lighting. But am still cautious to bet close to him, yes we are at neutral terms but that can break, even if I don't want it too. The Moon and Robasa are in better relationships now, and I do see him as a good ally. As of now he seems to be in a dark place but I don't know how to aid him. Just watch... I can't so much to help, it's frustrating to an extent.
I do not believe I will ever find the whole 'Matriad's daughter' thing not odd, and she CAN be a bit childish, but when push comes to shove, she does seem quite capable—mayhap TOO capable. How in blazes can she learn languages so fast, while ALSO performing all of her Heroic tasks? Meanwhile, I am finding it hard just to learn French. We have similar values when it comes to the Mayess Heroes and making necessary sacrifices, so that is a plus, given pragmatic people are so hard to find these days. It is due to this, that I feel I can be very open with her about my feelings. I have been 'open' with my weaker feelings as well, for better or for worse, dropping my guard when I should not. I suppose this just further proves that she has 'grown' on me, for some reason. My, this woman really makes me so much worse, while making me 'better' at the same time.
We're getting there, in terms of friendship! I care about him a bunch. Maybe not as much as I do my best friends, but a friend nonetheless! He's smarter, and more useful, than he makes himself out to be. I wish he would value himself more and hold his head up high again. Like he used to, just minus the rudeness, that is. Every time he insists on ass-kissing some damn authority, I gotta snap him out of that defeated mindset. He's better than that, and I believe so.
I'm determined to see this man smile more!! I want him to be healthy, and not just physically. I want to put the effort into making him feel welcomed, at home, and loved. Has he ever felt loved before? Does he realise how he feels? That he might care for people more than he thinks he does? I don't know, but I don't think he understands quite yet. Or at least, not the whole picture.
However, I must have patience-- change doesn't come overnight. I should know that, and better than most. Not only that, I'm scared of being upfront with him about everything. But I refuse to lie to him or anyone for that matter. I want to get to know him better. I want to know the real Zane Lune, the part of him Maldreth see's and cares for.
Speaking of those two, they really need to have a heart to heart. Zane is so stressed by the current situation. I can feel it. Trust me, I also know it, friend. I know. I have been in your shoes before, and by gods are they tough shoes to fit...
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14th of April 2021 EDIT:
You hurt me, consistently. But I still hold hope out for you. That you'd turn around to see me, actually /see/ me. As hopeless as this war has been, I at least want to be strong for you, Susan, Gaiya, and everyone else's sake.
Strong because everything has gone to shit.
Strong because everyone is giving up. Down spirited to heavens and back.
Strong for those that cannot.
Strong for YOU.
I don't hide how I feel because I want to hide something that will hurt you. I hide how I feel because I believe seeing me in such a state would only work to upset you more and dislike my company.
I don't... I don't know what to believe anymore.
Please don't leave me too, I love you. You're my friend.
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5th of June 2021 EDIT:
Things are better, but I'm still wary about what will happen when you learn more about me. You know things I haven't told anyone before. And that's both exciting and scary.
I feel things are more /whole/, now that Maldreth is back. I feel like I can breathe more, around you. Everything doesn't feel so... /much/, anymore.
I'm looking forward to the future, and I hope you will be a part of it.
An annoying nuisance who causes more harm than good due to not thinking things through first. It seems this is a common trait with 'Yellow' Heroes, but I far preferred Mrs. Morogon. That said, even the whole 'thick skin and difficult to make them hate you' schtick seems to be the same. Are the 'colors' truly linked to specific character traits? REGARDLESS, he would only be a pesky mosquito if he did not happen to be a threat to my own 'friendships.' He has already taken Ms. Nyx away from me—AND GOTTEN HER BLASTED PREGNANT—and I worry he will soon do the same with Sir Matriad (sans the 'pregnancy'). I hope his carelessness eventually gets him killed, so I can retrieve Ms. Nyx back from him.
Heh heh heh...this guy can't stand me. Can't say i'm shocked, really. Knew guys like him back on Earth--well, not EXACTLY like him. I'd go out on a limb and say there's probably no one else in ANY world exactly like him, for better or for worse. Either way, types like us are pretty much destined to clash in one way or another. S'just too bad it had to be to this extent--i'm not sure I could EVER get the guy to ease up on me at this rate. Not exactly fair to blame him for it though given my...eh heh, 'Explosive' entrance. (He's never gonna let me live the pregnancy shit down.) Shame--he's a smart dude. I'd be interested to pick his brain sometime. Clever or not, not sure i'd be too happy with him learning about Archangel. Can't say why...just a feeling.
As far up his own ass as he is, I kinda feel bad for the guy. He's pretty uptight--clearly got a lotta rough shit banging around between his ears. Wish I could help him loosen up, but like fuck would he ever let me get close enough to try.
I miss Doctor Silverthorne. It does not matter if they are technically 'the same person;' their personalities are different enough that they cannot be considered synonymous. The fact that he must have always been like this, deep down, rather ruins my opinion of the good doctor. I suppose what I was REALLY attracted to was his condition, not him as a person. Personal views aside, he is still a wonderful employee and I am proud to have recruited him to The Moon. His expertise is greatly appreciated, though I feel a bit inadequate whenever I compare myself to him. He HAS lived far longer than me, so hopefully I will be just as talented as him in time.
Doctor Lune is an interesting figure. He is a good friend, an equal, though we are in different fields. Not many people make me laugh as hard as he does, though I doubt he actually intends on making me snicker. I often find myself disagreeing with his tactics, but I'm much more lenient with him than I'd be with others. Though had we not had a history by the time my wits came back to me I may not have been quite privy to have any sort of relationship with the man. In the end, I will help him as he helped me. I appreciate his continued presence, I just wish he would hold back on the sabotage.