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there is a life where, if I could have it, I would have chosen for myself from the beginning.
the world is beautiful, and it is occupied by one aaria barlow. first brought to the city by the prospect of new clinical trials, she's found them to be quite successful--and there is suddenly an entire new world open to her. lucky for her, she isn't in it alone.
that said, most of her time is still spent tinkering... or studying. some things never change.
my life, i will not waste it. i will enjoy this life.
curious and clever, aaria barlow is always interested in learning more about the world around her. some things never change: always, aaria will dig into what is interesting to her. that includes the people that make the world so beautiful.
maybe the difference is that she thinks she has a chance to truly be among them, now. aaria is trying to reach out her hand more liberally--as much as she can, with all the warmth she can muster. if this is her second chance, then she's not interested in wasting it.
she's still learning her limits. but there are people to help her mind her pace.
astronomy, the beach, tinkering, mice, long walks
dust, incomplete citations, close thunder, pity, haphazard experiments
- a lot of things are still the same, but this time, aaria comes to the city for clinical trials that turn out to be successful. as such, she's still not exactly well, but she's no longer terminally ill.
- she still posts on social media, but her following is much more niche.
- she still makes mus units, but they aren't a commercial products. they're mostly just made for friends and loved ones.
- since she's well enough and not too afraid to reach out to people anymore, aaria attends university classes. this is where she meets a lot of people, including sage and xinyi.
- she and xinyi end up getting an apartment together.
- after meeting mallow, she makes a mus unit for it, to help it adjust.
- despite having some overlapping friends... she's never spotted that suspiciously familiar robot-and-mouse that also takes up residence in the city. strange...
in this life, your story is not a happy fairytale.
things remain mostly the same. you are born; your mother grows sick; she dies. you grow sick. you remain sick for almost your entire life.
you take this in stride. you meet sven, and you love to tinker. you meet claire, and you lose her to the digital waves. your father looks for something to believe in. he teaches it to you. you learn to find beauty in the world, just like he teaches you. you are loved every day.
in this life, you do not reach acclaim as lug_nut. maybe in some ways, you are more isolated than ever.
in this life, you do not stray from the path.
in this life, you hear of clinical trials in the city. your father is willing to take a chance. so, you think, are you. so you travel, and you try.
in this life, you are not fixed. but the curse is lifted.
in this life, you decide to be brave. you open the door to the rest of your life.
in this life, you go to school together with sage kwon and xinyi zhou. you meet an angler and a singer and a former train conductor. you love all of them.
you make more friends. you offer more hands. your father meets people and makes friends with them, too. you meet a small robotic bird and a fan of yours. you get used to watching sunrises and sunsets; you are gifted kindness and knitted goods and homecooked meals and sleepovers.
you work to give them things in kind. you finishing developing your MUS unit and work to share them with the people you love. you love more than ever before. you allow yourself to be loved in kind.
this life, all of this love, is only just beginning.
anyway, whatever it is, don't be afraid
of its plenty. joy is not meant to be a crumb.
let's be unafraid to be kind,
learn to disregard the bad
if the good outweighs it daily.
would i live my life over again?
make the same unforgivable mistakes?
yes, given half a chance. yes.
and so i write
the word LOVE in my diary, to remind myself
of the underpinning of all the things i do.
before me, life—mysterious, ordinary—
holding off pain with its muscular wings.
everyone who terrifies you is 65 per cent water.
and everyone you love is made of stardust.
"we could head straight home, if you'd like."
"mm... let's take the scenic route. we have the time."
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