Suzi Manyoya (Playlist)

"Yeah, I might seem so strong,
Yeah, I might speak so long,
I've never been so wrong"

Suzi is obsessed with appearing calm, collected and having everything under control, especially when she feels her nerves are going to get to her. At the same time, she puts herself down a lot secretly, and hates that she has to pretend being strong instead of just being strong.

"All these things about me you never can tell
You make me sleep so badly invisible friend"

Due to everything going on in her life, Suzi often has trouble sleeping and spends her nights worrying. She's had the anxiety for so long it feels familiar to her, almost like a friend.

"Nobody wey know the paranoia oh
'Cause I put a smile on my face
A façade you can never face (Ooh)
And if you don't know me well, well, oh
You won't see how buried I am inside my grave
Inside my grave"

If there's one thing Suzi is good at it's hiding her feelings and emotions. She's had experience doing it since she was young, and is so good that even the people closest to her can't see anything wrong with her sometimes.

"I want to dance on the horizon line
But there is something I am caged behind
I have a heart made for take flight
But I'm low, so low"

I'm going to be completely honest: I found this song because I wanted to include a song with something bird-related to Suzi's playlist one way or another.😅 But it fits, so...

"They call me a little wound-up
See, I'm upset because I've always been stuck
But I don't know what it is I'm without
Guess I'm in love with always feeling down"

Even if she pretends not to, Suzi is aware of most of the (negative) things others say about her, and while she swears she doesn't care it does upset her a little sometimes and it adds to her overall stress.

"Give it to your sister, it doesn't hurt and
See if she can handle every family burden
Watch as she buckles and bends but never breaks
No mistakes"

Minus being the oldest sister (and physically strong), Suzi is so Luisa-coded. She does her best to keep her family and everything her mother has worked for from falling apart, but the stress from it keeps piling up and she has to pretend nothing is wrong. Everything Luisa says in the song is Suzi's internal monologue: putting on a facade and pretending she's stronger than she is, hiding her nerves and worries for herself and her family, wishing and dreaming of letting go of people's expectations of her but not being able to do anything about it. She bases so much of her worth on what she can do for her family's sake and is terrified of failure, but also a little resentful of what they made her do.

I also love the "Give it to your sister" lines (which in her case would be the role of advisor) and how they're repeated throughout the song, just like she keeps repeating to herself that she has to do this for them.

"Overloaded serial stresser, I'm sitting nauseous
Panic on a loop in my head, I'm chronically cautious
How can I get off this?"

At some point Suzi becomes aware of her mental health problems and starts to think about how to deal with them, but not before all the thinking about handling her stress caused her more stress🫠

"High achiever, don't you see?
Baby, nothing comes for free
They say I'm a control freak
Driven by a greed to succeed
Nobody can stop me"

Suzi's ultimate theme song by far. Other than “Surface Pressure”, this song sums up her situation and general attitude perfectly (except the part about smoking, drinking or having no friends…or wanting to die).

"I've been aching
Feeling low
You're so heavy
I have got to let you go"

I realized Suzi's playlist was too gloomy (lol), so I started to look for songs that represent her working on her mental health and wellbeing. This song is about dealing with depression (I believe), which fits her as well as all the other things she has going on. I wanted to include it before I even looked at the lyrics because of the title and it being a reference to Suzi's signature spell, so there's that too haha.

"I still feel alive
When it is hopeless, I start to notice
That I still feel alive
Falling forward, back into orbit"

Making progress in her mental health-healing journey🥳

"I used to lay low, hiding in the shadows
So don't give me dark days, I already had those
I'm just tryna figure out how to be myself right now
I don't wanna lay low, hiding in the shadows"

Recognizing her progress so far and setting clear goals for herself👍🏼

"Lyrics here."

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