Uai

Uai is built on the foundation of his mortal life, "Shi Yamato." Shi's fate was to eventually die for the sake of the world he lived in. No matter the time or space, universe or alternate reality, "Shi Yamato" will live as some form of Curse and accept his death as the better alternative.

And it's true that "Uai" lived this kind of set-up. He was born into a world of spirits and Kami, where he eventually came to be worshipped as a Curse Kami. Shi Yamato certainly struggles and he spreads misfortune to everyone he encounters. But he also brought about and experienced equal, if not greater, levels of love. Shi was adopted into the family of his eventual girlfriend, Hana, when the pair opened their hearts to each other.

With his new family, Shi learned the true meaning of being Cursed. He had been raised to collect human hatred and turn it into power. When Shi didn't comply, the 'Fate Project' found new methods of gathering power. One was to create humanoid robots that housed spirits and try to raise them to be Kami. Shi came to adopt/be adopted by two of these smol robot children with Hana, thus leading to him realizing his entire life had been planned out.

For all of the love and happiness he found, Shi dragged others into equal despair. His Curse Kami ability gradually became more unstable and he tried to contain misfortune rather than spread it. His heart couldn't handle it and Shi died. In the process, he cursed those he loved and who loved him with the misfortune and despair of losing him.

At least, that's how it was supposed to go. Because if Shi didn't accept his Fate and die, things actually got a whole lot worse. That "Whole Lost Worse" is also called "Uai." And the separation starts with a simple question: When asked if he could accept death and stop cursing people, this Shi chose 'No.'

Uai is a variation of Shi Yamato who didn't bottle up his curses and agree to die. Instead, Uai learned the cheesy Power of Love. Hana and her family taught him to share his burdens and live. This Shi became a Kami of Hope, who didn't give up and who took people's suffering so they could keep trying. He lived passed his fated death and went on to build a happy future with Hana. Or at least, he tried.

Despite the seemingly happy ending, Shi faced a problem on an almost Meta level: He had defied his Fate and broken the framework for his soul. Without that framework, he began falling apart. He had begun something called a "Glitch," and his human form gradually began to fall apart. Stubbornly, Shi resisted the change and consciously kept a human form. Even as Hana and him noticed something was wrong, they stubbornly stayed together and tried to share the burden.

One day, Shi's form slipped entirely. He was fortunate that an Embodiment of Hope and Embodiment of Love had been watching over him and stepped in, restoring his human illusion and trying to explain the situation. As a "Glitch," Shi would gradually fall apart and burden the world he was forcing his way into. Eventually, he would likely destroy the world or have to be destroyed himself.

But this Shi was stubborn. He had defied death once and wanted to believe he could do it again. As time wore on, his cursed existence became worse. It became painful for Hana to touch him, sometimes even hard to look at him or hear him. Every time that things got worse, Hana and his family tried to adapt. Within a year, the only safe interaction Hana and him had was her braiding his long hair. She tied off his braid with her most prized possession, a purple ribbon from her birth mother, and insisted that love would win.

It took a year, but Shi did realize that he was fighting an uphill battle. Even as his loved ones did their best to cope with his condition, Shi was beginning to understand that it was meaningless. They couldn't be together anymore. His state of being unable to be touched, seen, or heard by his loved ones made Shi feel like he was dead. At this point, many "Shi Yamato" do accept that they should have died. There have been variations of him to resist the first death, then accept it a year later.

But one again, Uai still couldn't accept that 'death' was the best option. Even in his horrible state, this Shi wanted to believe that everyone could be happier with him living. He faced his fate, and decided to overcome it. The Embodiment of Love and Hope that had visited him earlier liked this, so helped him reach 'Magnum Opus' and ascend.

Thus, Shi became an 'Ascended Magician.' He knew that his current state was wrecking havoc on his loved ones, so he temporarily left them. The Ascended Magician Shi was welcomed to the 8th dimension by the Magician versions of his adoptive mother and father. He began to learn the basics of his power from them and was actually encouraged to find a way to change his fate. They hid their son in their own private pocket universe, which had its own rules and didn't dictate Shi Yamato's immediate death. There, Shi was given time to grieve and nearly regret. He did not take being separated from Hana very well, especially when he learned what he had done to her: In leaving that timeline, he had created a split in her timeline. Now and for the rest of eternity, every action Hana took would splinter off into yet another world where she missed him. In an instant, he had doomed her soul to an eternity of missing him. Worse yet, Shi learned from the Embodiment of Love that Hana was never going to give up on him. She was fueling Love with her heartbreak.

This upset Shi. He vowed to return home to her as soon as possible, if only to die where she could see and take away the hope of being together. But among a sea of alternate universes and timelines, Shi could not immediately find his lover.

His wanderings did not go unnoticed. When the Concepts discovered that Shi had ascended (and they knew immediately,) they were miffed, but unable to do anything. He was a wandering Glitch, but he was under the watch of his parents: Two Embodiments with a lot of respect. Once Shi was away from his family, however, he was rounded up by other Embodiments and brought to The Grande Library for judgment.

It should have been an open and shut case. Shi was formally judged as unfit to be an Embodiment, which is essentially a death sentence for Ascended Magicians. It meant that he would burn out. Since he was also a Glitch, it was decided that he should be put to an earlier death. Though Shi was a powerful Glitch and had the potential to put up quite the fight, he did not have any desire to hurt the worlds in which Hana still resided. Right as he was about to hang his head and accept execution, someone spoke up.

It was the Grande Librarian: The most respected person of all. Alyce had seen "Shi Yamato" in her worlds and fallen in love with him. Rather than let him be killed, Alyce stepped in his defense and offered him an alternative: He was to become her new Library Assistant. It was essentially the same as being sponsored, except honestly... better. Permanent. And it made him untouchable to the Embodiments and Concepts.

He was given a new name, Uai, and taken as Alyce's assistant.

Life with Alyce was a change of pace. He no longer wandered between universes, but instead stayed in the "Grande Library" with his cute little mistress. His new duties primarily revolved around taking care of Alyce and ensuring she never dirtied her hands. Because Alyce was powerless. The Grande Librarian was and is never meant to develop their soul enough to use magic. They're supposed to follow the rules and not break them, meaning they can never become Magnum Opus and Ascend to Magician status.

Uai's days with Alyce involved everything from picking her clothes every day to making her meals, to fending off intruders with his magic. She was a constant target of Ascended Magicians who wanted to change their Fate by altering the books in the Library. She also enjoyed being doted on by her favorite character and knight. However, Alyce recognized as much as Uai that he would never fall in love with her. By being the Library Assistant, Uai was able to protect every world and timeline that Hana resided in. He had no desire to let go of loving her either.

How long their new peaceful life lasted isn't really important. It was long enough for Alyce to fall specifically in love with Uai and long enough for him to make peace with himself. Then it was shattered expectantly. The Shi Yamato from a doomed timeline ascended, and chose a different path: He saw that whether he lived or died, Hana would suffer. So he chose to destroy the blueprint for his soul and never exist in any universe, ever again.

To accomplish that, this "Zi" came to the Grande Library. There, he began a series of fights with Uai as he tried to gain access to the blueprint. Every time, Uai would drive Zi off. And every time, Zi came back more angry and hate-fueled than ever. It was almost inevitable that Uai be overpowered. When he realized that Zi had the means to kill him, Uai tossed Alyce down a figurative rabbit hole: She was thrown into another world, so that Zi wouldn't be able to use her power to destroy the blueprint.

This set Alyce off on her own journey of self realization. With Alyce lost, Zi could only pace around the Grande Library and demand that Uai bring her back. Uai only made Zi more angry by arguing against his reasoning: Even if their love with Hana brought pain, Uai still believed love was worth hurting for. He continued to argue that Zi was the one hurting Hana the most by rejecting and controlling her decision to love 'Shi.' Right as Zi had had enough and was about to kill Uai, Alyce returned! Because time doesn't matter in the Grande Library.

Alyce hadn't been a good girl who stayed hidden. She had gone on a journey and Ascended herself, then come back to the Grande Library to save him. She faced the fact that Librarians were supposed to be good, obedient dolls and decided to reject it: She loved Uai and she wanted to be defined by it. Now Ascended, Alyce selfishly used her powers to get rid of Zi and erase the threat to her Uai.

In doing so, Alyce was marked "unfit" by the Grande Library itself. It fell on Uai to fulfill his most important duty as a Library Assistant: Killing his Librarian if she developed too much free will and began abusing her powers. Though he tried to reason with Alyce, the fact she was essentially an omnipotent god did get to her head. She offered to rebuild the entire universe around Uai: She didn't want to change his soul, but she would force the omniverse to make him happy.

Uai tried to talk her out of it. He knew that rearranging the omniverse for his sake would mean many others suffered in his place. As tempting at it was, he pulled a Classic Shi and prioritized everyone else over himself. So Uai killed Alyce, whose existence had been corrupted by loving him.

This put Uai in a miserable situation. With his Librarian gone, Uai no longer had any protection from the Concepts. Worse still, he was beginning to corrupt again. He was devastated by the fact he had murdered Alyce, and caused her death by existing. He dared to imagine the world that Zi had tried to create, then lost to his self hatred.

The magic that Uai uses to travel worlds is linked directly to his personality. In Uai's omniverse, an "ascended magician" gains power by facing their role in the world and choosing to overcome it. They are beings that see laws and choose to break them, as opposed to beings that see laws and choose to be bound by them. Thus, Uai's ascension is an important starting point for his personality. It defines the primary difference between "Uai" and "Shi Yamato," after all. Shi Yamato was a boy who saw his place in the world and quietly accepted it. When told he had to die in order to preserve order, Shi's selfless and humble heart drove him to accept his fate. This was not the case for Uai. Uai is a variation of Shi that selected "no" when asked to die.

This simple difference is caused by a subtle change in Uai's values, and creates a massive shift in his development. This is also a good time to point out that the traits that make Uai different from Shi are not exclusive to Uai. They are traits that all "Shi Yamato" share. What makes Uai different is that he acknowledges and accepts these facts about his personality, whereas as Shi Yamato thought he needed to hide and deny them.

A very clear example of this is how the two react to that important question of "Will you die for the sake of your loved ones?" Shi Yamato was conditioned to sweep himself under the rug and value everyone else's happiness above his own. He also had the unhealthy idea in this head that he wasn't worth suffering over. So Shi would always pick the self sacrificing option, telling himself that it was better to leave his loved ones to survive without him.

However, that was never what Shi truly believed. Even Uai is a lonely person whose strongest desire is to be loved, recognized, and valued with people. Uai did not ignore his selfish truth and instead chose to stay alive. He understood his loved ones would hurt without him, but more than anything he just didn't want to die.

This pattern plays true for a number of other personality traits that make Uai stand out. Shi tries hard to ignore his bitterness and anger, whereas Uai will snap and get angry. Shi thinks he needs to smile all of the time to be liked, while Uai admits he isn't likable and defaults to a scowl. Shi puts on a show to make others like him, but Uai accepts that he hates himself too much to deserve love. So he doesn't put on an act for the sake of making friends.

Both variations do agree on the idea of being polite. They both aim to be good people who are courteous, well-mannered, and kind. They just have different motives. Shi wanted people to like him and keep him around. Uai does not think anyone will like him anyway, so puts on the show out of convenience. When Uai is being polite, it is usually because he sees a benefit to it: Whether it be a temporary cure for loneliness, getting information, or getting his way. He is the variation that sees himself for what he is, so sees that he was always a manipulative fake and embraces it.

Both Shi and Uai share some common hobbies as well. But the degree of their interest is different. Shi loved the ocean, sailing, marine biology, and music. He loved them because they felt familiar to him and gave him a hobby to express himself with. For Uai, these soothing luxuries remind him of being Shi Yamato. They soothe his soul and can literally heal him. Especially music. Uai composes more music than Shi. His fascination with the ocean, however, has been spoiled. Uai knows too much now and no longer sees it as a charming mystery like Shi did. In a lot of cases, things that once mezmorized Shi (like the art of baking,) have been reduced to less shiny sciences.

Uai remains as loving as Shi, but because he realizes the selfishness of his love he is more afraid to express it. Especially after his own falling into love, Uai recognizes that it is dangerous and painful to ask others to love you. So he is less willing to extend it or accept it. He needs to know that he's able to commit, even to the love found in a friendship, before he "lets anyone in." Which doesn't mean revealing close secrets to Uai, but truly relaxing in their company. In fact, Uai is more happy to share his secrets with strangers than those he adores. He thinks that the more people know, the less likely they are to keep him. Uai will be absolutely forthcoming with a stranger, but a friend will have to pull teeth to get the truth out of him.

When Uai does love, he falls deep. Not just in the romantic sense, as he did with Hana, but platonically too. It's true that Shi used to sweep himself under the rug for others and would make sacrifices for them, but he did so thinking it was selfless. Uai will go to hell and back, selfishly, for those he loves. He is not afraid to show them that he is hurting for them. Uai accepts that part of love is hurting and being hurt.

Ironically, that does not mean he has accepted that truth for others: Uai becomes alarmed when others show him the same devotion and tries to discourage it. He knows how painful it is to love deeply and honestly doesn't wish it on anyone. He would prefer to be loved shallowly than see someone actually hurt over him. This is why even if a friend assures him they will accept all of his flaws, Uai will try to cover them up. He acts more for friends than strangers. It disturbs and rattles him to realize when someone truly loves him.

Which is a bit hilarious... given that Uai hurts so massively over his loved ones. It is a tragic flaw that honestly drives his entire story. Shi chose to die for his loved ones, while Uai decided to live. More than anything else, Uai wants to live with those that he adores. It's why he decided, as things finally got dangerous, that he would risk an eternity miserable, over a guaranteed but lonely death. Uai chooses to struggle and hurt for the things that he loves.

He's also not afraid to drag others into that suffering and hurt. He doesn't daydream of a perfect world anymore: He sees people might suffer for him to get what he wants, and Uai is at peace with that. Though he does try to minimize the waves he creates, Uai will behave in a downright yandere fashion for Hana. His violence and disregard for others will intensify the closer he thinks he is to "home," while he will show more restraint and control if he foresees a long road ahead. Uai recognizes that the means may not justify his ending to everyone, but he will live in a way where it feels right for him.

Loving selfishly also applies to the way he interacts with loved ones. Uai is desperate to be home and sometimes does stupid things to get there. In moments of weakness, he has been known to project his adoration for Hana on others. He's ashamed of it, but doesn't deny it when it happens. Uai also sees that his love for Hana is tearing him apart and causing him pain, but will not move on. He knows full well that she would be destroyed to know what their relationship has turned him into, but Uai doesn't care.

The fact love is a defining flaw in his character is not lost on Uai, after all. He has seen himself for the lovesick lunatic that he is and he accepts that. When he resists that, Uai is resisting the idea that he can't have a happy ending with Hana. He doesn't deny that he adores her. In fact, he is very blunt and proud when discussing how obsessed he is. Uai holds a deep fear that if he did give up on his love, then he would be a villain in his own story. He understands he has caused himself and others pain in order to go home, so the idea of giving up would mean that was all for nothing.

Uai's view of himself is the last dark knot needing to be tied in his personality. After all, his view of himself reflects in his "true form." Uai's true form is a decaying dragon skeleton, and it is entirely symbolic of how he sees himself. He has the form of a dragon, a creature associated with hellfire, because deep down he thinks he's a lost and evil cause. His true form is dead, reflecting Shi Yamato's true fate, and Uai loses the seven senses that allowed him to enjoy a false life. His true self is a monster and disgusting to be around, precisely because Uai thinks so poorly of himself.

That said! Uai isn't an entirely miserable person! He does have his human guise, which he uses to enjoy living. Uai does honestly enjoy talking to strangers and forming simple bonds. He likes to learn and he actually likes to be wrong: Not in the sense that he purposefully thinks the wrong thing, but that he enjoys learning new things that change his perspective. Uai may be creepy devoted to going home, but he knows how to stop and smell the flowers (HA.) every once and a while. If he sees someone in need then he will almost always sidetrack to help them. The only exception being when it's a choice between a suffering stranger and anything Hana.

He's prone to being somewhat snarky and arrogant in his daily interactions, something that will embarrass him if it's pointed out. Uai likes to joke and tease. He can even come across as a bully, seeing as he does like to see people get a bit riled up. When he's poking at people, Uai's goal is usually to snap them out of a monotonous mental state and get them thinking. He rarely plays to win, but plays to be challenged or challenging.

And despite all of his horrific yandere qualities, and how he perceives himself, Uai is a nice person. He is based in his love and devotion for others. Though he isn't as bad as he was as 'Shi,' Uai will neglect himself in favor of others. He's hardworking and pushes himself to the brink of death, all because he wants to go home and prove being together is better than being apart.