Ross

For the past year and a half, Hungary has had to put up with a little bit of a pest problem. It all started with *smaller* things– random graves dug up, mausoleums occasionally broken into. Urns were taken, jewelry and attire were pilfered, valuable trinkets were yoinked. It is perhaps a small mercy that corpses and bones were almost always left to remain.

Then came the death of beloved American actress Jamie Lee Curtis, who unfortunately passed away while surrounded by loved ones. She explicitly requested to be buried in Hungary because she just loved her Hungarian heritage *that* much. Despite not being a Hungarian national, the country *adored* her. Whenever she won an award, it was at the very least considered a “semi-Hungarian win.” Come on, can you name any Hungarian-born celebrities without Googling it? Yeah, I didn’t think so. She was the pride and joy of Hungary.

So, imagine everyone’s shock when the headline “JAMIE LEE CURTIS MAUSOLEUM BROKEN INTO, REMAINS LEFT EXPOSED” made international news. The corpse was found to be stripped of its attire and jewelry, and the mausoleum was robbed of all precious items in its entirety. This has caused shock, outrage, and a demand for the actress’s belongings to be returned.

It’s very likely that this controversy and the spike in grave robberies in Hungary are connected. After compiling witness reports from multiple incidents, investigators have determined that the main suspect is a young man who goes by Ross. With completely unknown origins and only a first name to go off of, authorities are having a hard time tracking the grave robber’s whereabouts.

A 5 million forint reward is being offered for the return of Curtis’s belongings. Alas, it has been six months since the incident, and Ross has yet to come forward. In fact, the criminal genius has not stopped here, for that reports of grave robberies in the country continue to occur. Just how much does he think he can get away with? Is he preparing for a theft even grander? If he hasn’t stopped at JLC, then who knows what big name he’ll go after next?!

Personality

Upon meeting Ross, you would immediately find that he is glum and aloof. You could even say that he comes across as shady. He doesn’t speak too often, and when he does, his sentences are usually kept brief and to the point. A good portion of the time, he would really prefer to be a creep and observe. You know. “Mind his own business” and stay out of trouble. Other times, he just doesn’t know what to say.

Ross is socially inept, and painfully so. This guy? Absolutely no understanding of social etiquette whatsoever. It’s not that interacting with other people makes him anxious, no no, not at all. He just really sucks at it. Fail.

Don’t be surprised to find Ross saying something totally uncalled for, or doing things that would be considered “unacceptable” to any normal person. He’s weird. He’s off-putting. Maybe you asked for his opinion on your outfit and he complimented it in a way that unintentionally comes across as an insult. Maybe he thought it was a kind gesture to put cockroaches in your hair. It’s not as if Ross is trying to upset anyone- He’s trying to be nice, okay?! Even if his attempts at being nice come across as rude. He truly has no idea what is and isn’t socially acceptable. And yet, he doesn’t seem to care enough to fix it either.

Ross is unintelligent, but this does not mean that he’s oblivious. He’s still pretty observant; he can pinpoint effects, he just struggles to understand their true cause. Even so, he still seems to be under the impression that he's smarter than most people. He isn't stupid for doing something dumb, you're just stupid for not understanding it.

Despite everything, there is a surprisingly playful side to the grave robber! Even after having his childhood ripped away in an instant, a childish nature still clings onto him. His methods of having fun do come in strange and unsettling ways. At the very least, it’s nothing outright harmful.

Maybe he’s cooing at a cute centipede as if it were a puppy. Or he’s having fun with his robbery by role-playing with the bodies as if they’re life-sized dolls. And is the weirdo making a game out of how many rings he can snatch up from corpses?? Who the hell even knows. He really doesn’t see any issue with it at all.