nao

My tears fell suddenly

Because I think I still want to

Danganronpa D: Suspended in Entropy (Diary)

Read this for in-round context! It was like six weeks of continued effort and it also means I don't have to write prose for the first three chapters.

Also read this other one if you want. It was the spare journal.

Danganronpa D: Suspended in Entropy (Epilogue)

Dear Mom and Dad (again),

You're not gonna be able to read this, unless one of you makes the bad decision to buy a ouija board to communicate with your deceased son or something like that. And I'm not even gonna be able to write this either, unless I find that monkey that can write Shakespeare.

I dunno. There's not much else to do when you're dead and have a couple more days at sea before you're home, so I figured thinking about this hypothetical situation where I can tell you all my parting regrets was worth a shot.

So… yeah, I'm dead. It's been a couple of weeks now, and it'll probably be a little more before you find out too, and it's a really long story, so I'm gonna try and keep it short and sweet. I don't think you'd get much closure out of the excruciating details, y'know? Like, for starters, It'd probably make you feel better if you knew I wasn't— well, I am kind of upset about dying, but— I'm at peace with it. That's the word. 

I mean, I don't really know if it's true, but whatever happened to me… I think it protected someone important to me. Someone who would have gotten hurt even worse if I hadn't. And it feels like it's worth it for that, y'know? Though I wish you didn't have to deal with the fallout of that - I know you would've rather had me back, and I wish there was an easier way around it all - so I hope it at least helps to know that I'm happy where I am.

I'm not lonely either, y'know? Though that's probably sadder the longer you think about it, so maybe you shouldn't— anyways. Whenever you read that letter I wrote, you'll find out I had lots more friends here, and… yeah. Most of them ended up on the other side too. So did Evie—and maybe if you ever hear this, you can tell Uncle Reg and Uncle Steven that we're looking after each other, okay? So they can feel a little better too.

…Though you'd probably also be wondering how this all happened in the first place, wouldn't you. It's not every day a bunch of famous teens go missing and show up dead a month later, right? And this is the part you'll probably never find out, so I guess I'm just saying this much to get it out of my system.

Well… apparently we were under suspicion for war crimes? Like… some really bad ones. And I don't know if most people would prod at their suspects by giving us reasons to kill each other, but that's how it happened. It was a really messed up thing—and I honestly think it was like a string of really bad decisions more than it was anything malicious.

…I dunno, does that make sense? I guess I don't want you to be mad at whoever did this after all. Isn't that weird? I already feel complicated about the whole thing myself, and I think you'd feel the same if you knew, but here I am, well… 

Y'know what? I guess It's hard to just act like the person behind this thing wasn't my friend. It's like— I know you'd say you were proud of me already, but I really mean it when I say he helped me become someone to be proud of. Besides, he already died just to put an end to things, and the other person that was helping him… I think it'd be easier for you if you just knew he was someone important to me. (I don't think he'd have it in him to tell you anything more, anyway.)

So where does that leave me? Well, I don't think I'll leave right after you get all my stuff. I lived here my whole life, y'know? It's gonna be hard to not wake up here in the morning and go to school, which is kinda funny to say after all the times you had to drag me out of bed—and I wanna make sure you two and Hayato are gonna be okay, too. You probably wouldn't even know I'm here, but maybe it's like… a vibes thing? Maybe it's gonna be cold in my room for a while like that superstition. Maybe someone's gonna leave their dog outside the shop and they'll start barking at some spot on the ground where I'm standing! I mean, they can see us just fine, y'know?

But eventually, we're all gonna have to move on, and I think I'm gonna go sightseeing when that happens. That killing game thing was the first time I ever left Japan, and my friend Luke—well, he's got some ideas already, so I'll be making great use of all that time I have! And after that… I guess I could go back to that island one last time. If he's still there. I dunno if he will be, but… I said he was my friend, y'know? And I think by then I'd wanna be friends again, because with that much time on my hands I feel like I'd be wasting it if I held onto something I can't even blame him for. Maybe.

…Whenever I can figure out what to say. That'll take a bit. But that's nothing you need to worry about, okay? You're probably still thinking stuff like "I wish you knew how much we loved you” and “I'm sorry we didn't do enough to show you that” and even “Maybe you'd still be here if we did”, and I can't just leave you guys torn up about that forever! You were the best family I could ask for, and the fact that I got sucked up in extra-continental warfare was completely out of your hands, so… Well, I can't really help you move on at all, you're probably not gonna know what I'm thinking now anyway, but… 

I'll be okay in the end, okay? ‘cause I'm not alone. 

That's all. (I hope it'll reach you somehow.)

- Love, Nao.

Relationships

Evelyn Flores - Cousin

Their most treasured confidant here - were they able to be that for her too?

(...They wish she could have at least gotten out.)

Lukas Perone - Friend

Stupid little accidents and their stupid little consequences...

(...It's kinda mean to say she started feeling more relaxed with him around, isn't it? Given that he had to— yeah...)

Marnie Lemmond - Friend

With her unyielding optimism (- okay, it yielded sometimes, but that's natural -) it's a really good thing that she could make it out alive.

(It was hard to let go for her too. Will that be easier over time?)

Miho Adams - friend

Rooomie. Roomies for life, now.

(He hopes the room wasn't too cold with him gone- or around- whatever it is ghosts do?)

Madeline Trickett - Friend

...She kept them company a lot when they first got here. They still appreciate that.

Asari Juichi - ...huh.

He was one of the nicest people here, especially when— y'know, so... it's upsetting things turned out like that, isn't it.

Ross Sterling - ?!?!?!

...Awkward.

Pine Malcalester - ...

"A murderer, barely even a person"— She knows that isn't true, but what can she even say anymore?

(...She still didn't wanna see him again like this. Where is he...?)

Russel Ikeda - ...

Her first and favorite friend here. That's something she can't take back no matter what.

(Much like the steps she took into that auditorium that night.)

Alexei Radcliff - killer

...It pisses her off when he acts like that, y'know.

Like all he did was get rid of one annoyance instead of another, and now he doesn't care anymore— like he hadn't gotten angry at her for calling him a friend and—...

Keep living in this city...

• Her birthday is April 3rd!
• Wears different color contacts every day! They're always mismatched. (His hair is also bleached and dyed white - both from brown.)
• Jet is his uncle.
• Queerplatonic partners with Bingy :)
• His laugh is something like a “Heh-heh-heh…”
• Was originally made for a non-dangan server, but here he is!
• Playlist!