You who have been lost in the darkness... let me show you the light
Killian’s life started on the day he died. Once an ordinary schoolboy, after dying in a tragic train accident a forgotten god took his soul and gave it a new vessel. Although Killian had no say in this and perhaps would have wished to pass away peacefully, he’s grateful of the second chance he got and is doing his best at fulfilling his new duties as a heavenly soldier. Since he’s still young for an angel and still in the process of adjusting to his new life and duties, he spends a lot of the time practicing in the heavenly realm, but does mingle among the residents of the demon realm as part of his training.
However, his death and the grief of never seeing his family again still heavy on his mind, he avoids the human realm and only occasionally visits there. Furthermore, as a being the first and one of his kind, there is no telling just how well a human heart will adjust to a body of a divine being: he has been given all these grand powers, but it’s hard to tell if he's still quite young mind can actually withstand everything new it now has to handle.
Killian can be a tad stubborn and temperamental at times, but he’s also very responsible, very friendly and beneath the roughness of his behavior lies a rather gentle, sensitive heart. His competitiveness can sometimes get the better of him, but there is no doubt that Killian cares deeply about others, whether they’re people he has known for long or strangers he just met.
In the realm of gods Killian is acquaintances with Yngvar, the messenger of gods. He’s also associated with Nicholas, Henri, Merrill and William, and is a cousin to Laurent. When still alive, he was also a classmate of Leon’s.
As a divine being, Killian has two forms: one corresponding to the time he died (age 14) and an older form he gains as he chronologically ages. The latter is reflecting the development of true angels, who are born as young children and who then stop growing and physically ageing as they seem fit. However, as a formerly deceased mortal, Killian usually feels more comfortable donning the form of his younger self; the one reflecting the day of his death.
In his default form Killian is small and has a sporty yet visibly delicate looking build. His body proportions are rather long but balanced, making him appear taller than he is in photographs. His legs are considered notably long and very slender, to the point it may seem to others that he has barely any muscle in his legs. He has large, golden colored eyes with dark and heavy eyelashes and permanently small irises, giving him a rather intense and unsettling glare. His hair is brown and cut in a bob that reaches his shoulders, and his eyebrows are small and of matching color. He has a small, somewhat round nose and small, thin but visibly pinkish lips.
In his older form his appearance stays somewhat the same, with the exception he is now much taller, and his physical features are sharper and more defined to reflect physical maturity. However, his exterior remains rather feminine, and even in his older form people struggle to gender him correctly.
In both forms Killian wears a blue tunic with gold-and-white patterns on it. On his shoulders he has decorative epaulettes, and he wears long boots and long gloves with dark blue base color and gold lace decorations. He also has a white blouse under the tunic and he’s wearing white tights. He can adjust the size of his wings to fit his red cape better, but he’s often also seen without the cape. His wings are light beige and expand when needed for flying, while they shrink when not in active use. Killian can also make them disappear. He also has a halo over his head.
Despite his delicate looks, Killian has always been rather rough and rowdy: he loves a good contest, never backs down from a dare and delights in physical exercising, including wrestling and sparring with others. He understands the world the best through actions and physical sensations, and he always wishes to see and experience things by himself, rather than settling for mere stories of exciting experiences and events. Simultaneously he’s impulsive and proud, fast to defend his own honor and to prove his worth to anyone who might question it - to the point he’s willing to risk his own life to prove others wrong. One might even call Killian hot-headed and temperamental, but the truth is he thinks his intentions are good - noble even - and he never wishes to harm others without clear provocation or other reason to justify violent actions.
As much as he’s impulsive he’s also gentle, and Killian has a very soft heart for someone as loud and rough as him: he openly weeps for lost lives, gets emotionally invested in the stories of others and won’t be able to sleep with clear conscience if he knows he has said or done something wrong. As easy as it might be to provoke or anger him, Killian’s anger hardly lasts for long, and he prefers living his life without hating on others or holding grudges. However, he has trouble understanding not everyone thinks this way about conflict, and he may get very emotionally riled up if someone - especially a friend - acts in ways he considers selfish or dishonorable.
With new people Killian can be a little aloof at first, although not by nature: social and extroverted, Killian intentionally keeps his distance to mortals in the fear of losing them or one day seeing them die. But due to his natural tendency of friend making, it usually doesn’t take long for him to establish a bond, and he’s very cooperative and dutiful in group tasks. He thinks on his feets and does surprisingly well under pressure, but he sometimes struggles communicating his thinking to others when the situation is dire, making it seem like he’s acting completely irrationally.
Due to his premature death, Killian has a lot of bottled up feelings of loneliness, anxiety and fear - after all, he very much remembers his final moments right down to the pain he felt. He misses his friends and family, and with him being unable to convey his goodbyes to them, he lives in a constant state of anxiety over this unfinished mission. Furthermore, being whisked into a completely new life and setting have not been easy for someone like Killian, who doesn’t enjoy sudden changes: even when he does get adjusted to things, nothing still feels quite at home to him. But despite his hardships and the current messy situation he’s in, Killian strives to continue on living and doing his best at the tasks given to him. Although he might look a little grumpy due to his face, he actually has quite the positive attitude when you actually talk to him: even with his new existence, he still has the heart of a human - always adjusting; striving to survive and live. But some- especially many of the true angels who have spent time with Killian - fear that he's a disaster just waiting to happen: it's highly unusual to grand humans a longer lifespan in the first place, and modeling their body after those of divine beings with many of their powers feels unwise. As someone who is still very young even for a human, many fear Killian's psyche won't be able to handle his new life.
Killian was born as the youngest son to the middle class family of the Deerings. He had two older sisters, and the idea of finally having a son to their name delighted the family. Killian grew up alongside his somewhat rowdy sisters, and possessed a headstrong attitude and fiery temper since a young age, often resulting in people thinking he was a girl due to how closely he acted and resembled his tomboyish sisters. Although he never took offense in this, Killian would always make it very loud and clear he’s a man. As he got older he became familiar with his cousin Laurent, who was a year younger than him. The two of them would attempt playing together, but Killian’s rowdy games were often too intense for the more intellectually inclined Laurent, and so the two never formed a bond much deeper than what one would expect from cousins who meet only a few times a year.
Killian attended the Lottenberg middle school for one year, but excelled only in sports. He was also a classmate to Leon, although the two were never particularly close friends and even butted heads sometimes due to their stubborn personalities. Despite this, they never held hard feelings towards each other, and to some degree Killian would have wanted to befriend the popular boy.
However, he was never given the chance to attend his second year in Lottenberg: as his summer vacation was just coming to an end, he was hit by a train and died instantly upon impact.
By a whim of a fickle god who had gotten attached to the boy they had observed to cure their boredom, they took Killian’s soul and gave him a new body shaped to resemble true angels. Grateful of getting a second chance but lamenting the fact he could no longer return to his friends or family, Killian followed the nameless, forgotten god to the heavenly realm. There he started training under the warrior angels, this regimen preparing him for a very special goal: to fight against those that wish to strike imbalance in the world - and to entertain the nameless, forgotten god by doing so.
Killian is still young and learning, and although his body and mind learn and understand things faster than those of a mortal’s could, he’s still a youth at heart. He still has unresolved matters on earth he wishes to somehow fix, and a lot of feelings of grief and loss he hasn’t been able to fully deal with quite yet. As such, he spends most of his time in the demon realm handling the matters of non-human creatures, as working on the human side of the world can still get pretty rough for him. Furthermore, he fears he’ll run into those who knew him when still alive, and for the sake of everyone’s feelings (including his own), he wishes to avoid the chances of such encounters.
Skills & Abilites
*He can freely alternate between the form of when he died at 14 and the human form of a young adult he now would be had he not died. He feels a stronger affinity to his younger form (due to dying at that age), but when he needs to become an authority or otherwise needs to present himself in a more serious light, he’ll take an older form.
Good at sword fighting. After becoming a heavenly being it seems he’s learning new techniques faster than a mere mortal could.
Can adjust the size of his wings and make them completely disappear with will. They expand upon flying, and in turn shrink smaller when not in use. Furthermore, as a heavenly creature his wings are not fully physical, and as such they can go through his clothes without the need to cut holes in his clothes. However, they can be touched (and by extension also harmed) by living beings.
Not one for academics, but he always excelled in sports at school. He’s active and loves roughhousing outside, and being able to exercise and push his limits gives him genuine joy. Although he’s still no match for true angels or other divine beings, he has already surpassed his human peers in general physical prowess.
Despite the body of an angel, his heart and mind still remain human - which often conflicts when interacting with divine beings.
Very empathetic towards those around him, Killian easily gets sad when others are sad, and the mood of the people around him directly shape his own.
He can't make himself invisible, but he can hide his presence similar to how a ghost would: it's not a foolproof plan, but makes it impossible for most people to see him. However, those who can see ghosts can also see him.
Moderate light magic abilities, Killian can use explosive and flashing magic to attack and distract an enemy. However, he vastly prefers a sword, given he practiced sword fighting when he was still alive.
Unlike true angels, Killian can’t gain or lose wings, and he sees little to no point in the wing gaining system the angels have in use - it’s really only for those who live in the realm of gods so they wouldn’t get bored of living.
Frequently gets mistaken for a tomboyish girl, even in his older form. It doesn’t offend him, but it has gotten so annoyingly frequent he might be a little snappy at people when he has to correct them.
Used to love fishing when he was still alive, and still occasionally does it when he has some free time. He enjoys the serene quietness of an early morning lake the most.
Afraid of trains, for understandable reasons. If he is alone he refuses to even go near one, but if someone is accompanying him he can even go inside one - but still feels very uneasy and on the edge.
His relationship to the forgotten god is a complicated one: on one hand he hates how he didn’t get a choice in whether he got to die or not, but at the same time he does feel grateful of getting a second chance at living. However, as Killian is aware he technically exists to entertain the lonely god, and it doesn't sit right wit him: on some days he hates the god; on some he loves them. And sometimes his heart is filled with grief and pity for the being that once was loved by mortals, but has now been completely forgotten. As things stand now though, Killian is doing his tasks mostly according to the rules he has been given.
Dealing with true angels often makes him feel like an outsider, because both he and the angels know Killian isn’t one despite the resemblance, and the difference in thinking between a mortal and an ethereal being are rather clear whenever they interact. Killian is very much a one of his kind, and as such the welcoming embrace of the nameless god who resurrected him often feels like the closest thing to comfort for him, despite everything.
Although his wings are not entirely physical (and as such can go through inanimate things such as clothes), Killian usually keeps them so that they go through his tunic but not his cape. It’s purely an aesthetic choice from his part, as he thinks wings going through the cape “looks stupid”.
Going through some sort of internal crisis over who he is and what his goals are: he's mostly just following orders and doing as he's told, but as his situation settles he gets more time to reflect himself and his situation.