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It's the moment you've all been waiting for! The one, the only, Bartholomew Faust Ritz, at your service! Actor, bard and composer extraordinaire! The original trespasser! Luckiest man on the planet! Passionate lover! Devilishly handsome? Killer musician, unbelievable dancer and surprisingly tender romantic.
You may have seen me around with my two best friends in the whole wide world, Tygeo the Magnificent and Orvot the Handsome. He's actually dating me--Orvot the Handsome. How crazy is that?? I'm probably the luckiest man that's ever lived. I could go on and o--
Oh. Oh, you haven't heard of me. And you haven't heard of Orvot the Handsome. You've heard of my friend, Tygeo. Ah. Right. That makes a lot of sense, he's very well known, very talented and deeply beautif--uh. Deeply passionate about what he does. Yes. Well. I'm uh.... up and coming! Upcoming!
But while I have your attention, perhaps I can trade you a few good tales about the golden man in question, if you'd only remember my name and pass it around. What do you say? Do we have a deal?
