♕ Canary

Cardinal Queen, Crimson Raven; The

female, mature adult, queen of Vargheim

❤

poised, cordial, courteous, unprejudiced

accepting, compassionate, kind, soft-hearted

dauntless, feisty, passionate, sultry, indulgent

selfish, moody, withdrawn

✦ Unbiased and open minded, judges individuals based on her own experience rather than on how others perceive them.

✦ Driven by love and compassion. Believes that everyone deserves to be treated kindly. Friendly and inviting to all.

✦ Thrill-seeking and recklessly curious - often aware of the dangers she may be getting herself into. Drawn to individuals that are perceived as dangerous or have controversial reputations. Happens to feel aroused by the sense of danger.

✦ As a result of her habits and several life-threatening experiences, has become dauntless and further emboldened by her ability to navigate tricky situations. Draws strength from overcoming fears, therefore faces them head on.

✦ Highly averse to violence, although has come to be accustomed to it. Nevertheless, tries to avoid it whenever she can and promotes gentleness.

✦ Plagued with feelings of guilt and occasional self-loathing that result in mood swings and bouts of melancholy.

✦ Used to thrive in social settings - and still does, for the most part - but has definitely become more withdrawn, especially during moments of emotional instability. Has a tendency to bottle everything up and doesn't want others to ever witness her inner turmoils.

✦ Openly flirtatious and prone to promiscuity. Self conscious about it, but not discouraged from seeking pleasure.

✧ Possesses a tiny fraction of Hanodim's power that helps her heal from injuries much faster.

✧ A skilled archer.

✧ Albeit lacking the drive to cause harm, has been trained by Hanodim to fight with a sword. Mostly for the purpose of self defense, which, unfortunately, does not transfer to her feral form.

✧ Likes to collect things, anything from various trinkets to books, most of which hold some sentimental value to her. A fan of arts and all things beautiful.

July 27th
Went into labor. Suffering pains much more intense than ever before, being drained by the darkness growing inside her that was soon to come to light. Except, didn't have the strenghth to see through it. slowly fading before she could give birth. In a haze, remembers Rhysand telling her it's going to be ok, remembers wanting to tell him she loves him too before he began ripping into her stomach. Passed out, losing blood, and her life slowly fading as her mate tore into her to save the babies. Twins. After that, was brought home to Rhysand's realm to heal, the Phantom sacrificing a great deal of his own blood to pull her back by the thread of life she still clung to. Remains resting, recovering with her beloved and their two sons by her side.

July 25th
Met Wrathran a couple of times, agreed to accompany him to his realm on the second occasion, which resulted in him attempting to assault her. Fought her way out of his room and returned to her home. Wept, shaken and violated. Soon accompanied by Rhys, which made her feel embarrassed of the situation, though he showed nothing but love and support and ended up being a very comforting and safe presence. Found the events a lot easier to cope with thanks to her mate. Took little time to recover and returned to work to occupy her mind with other things instead of thinking of what happened.

In the following days witnessed Rhys beat the crap out of Wrathran, which left her man gravely injured. Really unsure how to feel about it, wanting to both thank him and kill him for nearly killing himself for her which is dumb!! But also cute :(( she doesn't want to admit that tho, but still appreciates his protectiveness.

Reunited with Lilium after his recent death. Cleared up on what happened with him and Wrathran, had already figured the demon had lied to her before the violent encounter and blamed Lil. Was definitely right to assume that. Spent some chill time with Lil in her kingdom, made him food and watched the stars the way he enjoys. Afterwards brought him over to the new kingdom she's overseeing, so he could collect souls of the people that had died there recently. Offered him to stay for as long as he wants, which he did, and she's happy to have him as a daily companion now.

Continues her work in the kingdom, Azura and Rhys also joining her daily as the pregnancy progresses much faster than she's used to. Curious, but otherwise doesn't think much of it. However, grows noticably weaker and fatigued as days go on, developing painful cramps and ultimately becoming bedridden as it seems that she's going to be due very soon. Yet, her condition seems to worsen even further.

July 7th
Got healed from the vampire's bite by Rhys. What she thought was stress and anxiety is actually a pregnancy she hasn't anticipated at all. Turns out Rhys was just as shocked to find out, but both happen to be excited about it in the end. Worries over certain things, given the circumstances of the conception, but remains positive and tries to comfort Rhys that it'll be ok. So far, has been feeling fine.

Emits a dark aura for the time being. Can be sensed by those capable of doing so.

June 27th
Offered Azura that she could help with reclaiming a kingdom from a corrupt and cruel ruler. At first, was taken to witness the realm for herself, seeing heart wrenching sights of neglect and cruelty towards the people and the kingdom itself. When it was time, decided to stay behind and tend to the injured during the battle, afterwards staying in the kingdom to help everyone in the aftermath. A temporary ruling position while Azura searched for someone new to take the place more permanently. In the following days, has found herself deeply invested in working towards the wellbeing of this realm, focusing on the people's needs first as she helped come up with plans of a new order that would see the majority of the people happy again.

At one point during her stay in the kingdom, was followed by Abhartach who went on a killing/feeding spree across the city. Spent several restless days hounding him down by following his trail of death, coming to face him more than once, but failing to stop the vampire for good. Finally, tracked him down one last time before managing to kill him, having suffered numerous injuries by the time the whole hunt was over. Once again helped dealing with the aftermath, focused on her task so she wouldn't have to look back on killing the monster. Isn't sure how to feel about it, given she has never gone on a mission to kill anyone before. Realizes this was what had to be done, but is still nagged by a sense of guilt for not finding a way to show the vampire some mercy.

Feeling awfully nauseous in the days following the incident, even fatigued at some points, with these symptoms slightly worsening each day. Figures this must be from all the stress recently, though the vampire also left her with a nasty bite that refuses to heal unlike her other wounds. Nevertheless, pushes onwards and thinks little of it all, staying focused on her task of helping people.

March 15th
Residing at Hanodim's castle for the most part, looking after Ferenan. Still frequents her kingdom, finding it rather hard to keep up with her duties simultaneously, but finds that the strain has kept her mind from straying into darker places. Visits The Forest occasionally as well, albeit briefly. Overall, despite the stress and being tired, has been doing pretty well. Also got an apartment where she can spend more time with Talya, though has basically allowed her daughter free reign over the place whenever they aren't there together.

December 18th
Gave birth to Ferenan in Hanodim's castle.

December 3rd
this. Obvious, due sometime soon.

November 6th
Can't tell if she's been feeling better or simply getting used to her sadness, though has found herself enjoying a couple occasions with Rhysand, one of which also involved Umay. Tires more easily lately and has been growing more cautious around strangers, becoming wary of showing herself even around friends for she's been growing round and more plump. Perhaps not enough to be so easily noticed by others yet, but it still makes her anxious at times. Harboring the secret of her condition alone, save for one individual.

Given a protective necklace by Hanodim to prevent greater injury should trouble befall her while she's by herself, given his recent, almost non-stop brawls that render him unable to come to her aid. BUT, has already been saved several times by Andras, someone she barely knows and has no idea how she'll ever be able to repay for the kindness.

October 24th
The most fragile she's ever been. Internalizing everything that has gone on and finds it very difficult to mend herself this time. Has been trying not to dwell on it too much, with very little success. Got into a scuffle with Lilium who was supposedly hunting her, found herself enjoying his sense of humor as much as the brief interaction they shared before he was fended off by Andras and River. Frankly, was rather angry with the pair for doing that, though remained under their protection if only for the sake of someone more important. Even more angry with Astor after he killed Lil and stole her company of River and Andras afterwards, but whatever. Sat alone for a while before getting a visit from Hanodim. Shared a surprisingly refreshing conversation with the peryton about some of what's been lingering on her mind, felt slightly better after that, but it was far from effective in lifting her burdens even a tad. Not that she'd want anyone doing that, anyway.

Finding some relief in the occasional company of Talya and Yrsa. Met a couple new faces too, Nilam and Elias.

October 12th
Found Owyn the other day who was beaten by Astor, apparently it had something to do with her. Took him home to patch him up, spoke a bit and let him rest until he got better. Confronted Astor about it, managing to have a small conversation that ended up with him threatening to kill her and her taking him on that offer, only to end up fighting. Managed to throw a few dedicated punches before getting restrained. Yelled at each other before he delivered the final blow with his words that completely tore her to pieces.

October 6th
After the bullshit that had transpired, felt very unlike herself in the following days. So much so that she considered flinging herself at Umay to find some sort of release for all that she was feeling. Dwelled on it for too long and her plan never came to fruition as Talya came to accompany her. Instead, was brought over into the Obsidian's company by her daughter who wanted to spend time with Umay for whatever wild reason. Somehow thought it was a good idea, although felt mildly uncomfortable and akwkard throughout the time in Umay's company.

Felt calmed by Talya's visit ever since, and figured her unwitting intervention was for the better as soon after she found out something important. Visited Hanodim to make him aware of the situation, although unsure whether he could fully grasp it given his partly delirious condition after his own recent brawls. Stayed to watch over him for the night and left quickly the following morning.

October 1st
Has been feeling like a drifter through life lately. Lacking excitement or anything other than a persistent feeling of heartache that she cannot find a way to soothe. Feels it burn much stronger after a recent fallout with Astor, as well as Umay's continued efforts to target her for no good reason that Canary knows of, but lowkey finds the lioness admirable. Part of her often wishes to be ripped apart by her claws, or to be so brave as to let everyone else do it and end her unhappiness. Can never bring herself to allow either to happen, perhaps tethered by the responsibility she feels to fulfill her deal with Hanodim. If it wasn't for that, she'd have little else to look forward to. Otherwise, finds the thought of death eerily soothing.

August 6th
Why do yall booly me!!!! fuck all of u

July 27th
I forget stuff but as of late has had her mental state in a steady decline. Got mauled by Umay just 'cause she was chilling with Landan and his friend, which subsequently forced Hanodim into action to keep her safe and away from harm, only for him to end up in a following fight with Mar that involved harming kids, which Canary wasn't up for so tried to jump in there too but what could she do except die if she tried any harder. Refused any aid offered afterwards and sulked by herself before leaving for home, only for Hano to come after and further shit on her day by yelling and blaming her for being stupid. Really just wanted to be alone and cry but he refused to leave, so had to bear with her fragile state and afterwards definitely wanted to leave haha. Deeply contemplative on what her life is rn and what it could have been had she not been so dumb on a few occasions in the past. Silently finds immense comfort in Talya who's been her only ray of light as of late, though even she seems to question her mother's life choices lmao. Otherwise not seeking anything except her own solitude, though craves affection all the same.

June 15th
Some events from oldest to newest that happened since the last time i wasn't lazy to update her shit:

Some time ago has surprisingly managed to convince Hanodim to teach her how to fight and in turn learned what a horribly mean teacher he is :( however, has been receiving lessons on a regular basis ever since.

Spoke with Astor when he announced his prolonged departure back to his own realm to fix some things he has caused long ago, and said her goodbyes to him with a heavy heart. Weighed with worry for his well-being, although tries to remain hopeful for the man's safe return someday.

Watched the spring rally competitions, got drunk afterwards with Astra and Sen. Invited them for an afterparty, learned that they're both very cool and attractive :((

Since Hanodim's personal loss that she both witnessed in horror and sympathized with, has come to see him as a slightly different man for a period of time in which she unwittingly let her guard down around him even more while trying to be a comforting presence for the grieving peryton. Has even been invited to visit his fortress where, of course, she put him through a headache with her reckless curiosity, but otherwise spent a pleasant time with the king in his home. Learned more things about him and was given a tour the following morning, which she fully enjoyed and was very appreciative for.

Some rainy forest days were spent with Virus kindly offering to be her cuddly umbrella. Other times sought shelter and warmth in Hanodim's neck feathers, being a playful menace to him and making him frown as she always does uwu

And as of recently, kept Hano's beaten, grumpy ass some company and managed to prevent him and Mar fighting each other because they were actually kind enough to not wanna yeet her in the process too because she put her dumb, tiny ass in between them. However, her success didn't last long and eventually she found him beaten unconscious in the blue bowl. Attempted to teleport him outta there to her place for his own safety (somebody smack some sense into her pls), accidentally ending up in his place somehow, lol woops. Stayed with him until he awoke a couple days later and was an absolute dickhead but kind enough to bring her home and grant a pass to his fortress from that point on, giving her the ability to be twice the menace now uwu

May 13th
Generally down as of late, thoughtful. Finds herself in Val's company almost daily and appreciates how effortlessly he manages to cheer her up just by being himself, even if unbeknownst to the Vesper himself. Even more so struck by his generosity after being surprised with a gift, also in awe by the magic he's capable of.

Keeping an eye out for Hanodim as well, seeking company on his better days. However, came to witness the violent murder of Sucit that Canary tried to intervene like she had never done before. Afterwards tried to find an understanding for what she thought was a mindless killing on Hanodim's part, but quickly recognized it as being otherwise and, despite all, offered nothing but compassion for the peryton instead. Complied with his requests to be left alone and parted ways with right after.

April 26th
Grieving her breakup with Alek more than she lets on, feeling overly guilty and upset. Has confided to a few, but finds it difficult to talk about and takes comfort in the company that Virus provides to distract herself instead. Spoke to Astor as well after he confronted her about her apparent emotional state. Was surprisingly forthcoming about what happened and how she felt about him, but insisted on a different topic immediately after and spent the time talking about entirely unrelated things which might have helped calm her a bit, if only for that period of time. Other than that, either visiting and spending time with her daughter or staying busy back home so as not to slip into her habit of drinking. Has one more thing to occupy herself with nowadays, a tiny phoenix-like chick that Astor gave to her as a gift some weeks prior. Has turned to Valborg for advice on raising it properly as well as borrowed some books from him.