Shadowfeather

basic description > A soft, dark grey tabby tom with silky fur, white undersides, and light green eyes

build > Lanky with long ears and legs
fur description > Long and silky, often well-kept
breeds > Moggy

height > 30 cm
weight > 6.8 lb
voice > Sam Tsui
scent > Freshwater and moss

scars > N/A
accessories > Moss cloak
banned traits > N/A

Positive Traits
positive >
    >> Benevolent > Shadowfeather is quite possibly the kindest soul one could meet. They try to always have a smile on their face and stays positive for the sake of others. In addition to this, Shadowfeather is ready to help anyone and everyone. Their kindness is infectious.
    >> Disciplined > They are good at keeping themselves in check, regardless of the situation. They look like they're the most well-put cat one could know, regardless of the situation. Even when they may be panicking inside or want to give up, Shadowfeather keeps it together and pushes through. It makes them reliable, even in some of the roughest patches.
    >> Empathetic > Essentially, Shadowfeather absorbs the emotions and feelings of others and reacts accordingly to them. They are one of the best cats to go to when you need a shoulder to lean on, as they're always ready to listen.

neutral >
    >> Inquisitive > Shadowfeather asks all questions, be they appropriate or not. They have a curious mind that desires knowledge and answer, though it is never satisfied. They end up being quite irritating company when they get this way, though Shadowfeather doesn't seem to notice.
    >> Inconspicuous > Despite their odd appearance and backstory, Shadowfeather is good at keeping themselves unnoticed by others. They prefer to be out of the spotlight and give it to others, making their presence as little known as possible. Because of this, others will tend to look the other way when they're around, but it can make it hard to find them when they are needed.
    >> Formal > Shadowfeather tends to be conscious and wary of how they act around others, making them a very formal cat. They bow their head to their elders, speaks when spoken to, and always keeps their posture in check. This makes them seem unapproachable because of how uptight they may be, though they loosen up the more they become friends with others.

negative >
    >> Timid > Jumpy is an understatement when it comes to Shadowfeather. The poor cat gets spooked by the smallest of things, even the littlest bug crawling up their leg. In addition to this, they have very little confidence in themselves, often preferring to leave decision-making and other important things to others, even some that are even less fit for the job than them.
    >> Cautious > Shadowfeather will take any and all precautions before following through with plans. Even when they think they are ready, they're going over all the possibilities of change, positive and negative, and overthinking everything. It makes decision-making and working with Shadowfeather quite difficult, as they're known to change their mind last minute when they internally panic.
    >> Dependent > After everything, Shadowfeather tends to depend on others more than themselves. They struggle when they are faced with conflict on their own and may even freeze up when others depend on them. They much rather prefer letting others take the lead and are perfectly fine with following them, whether good or bad.

parents >
    >> Snow-whisker > White tom with dark gray spots and stripes and blue eyes > Played by Spacecat011 > Deceased
    >> Snakeheart > Small brown tabby tom with silky fur and green eyes > Played by codesii > Deceased
    >> Irisdawn > Dark lilac, black and gray calico she-cat with a bobbed tail and yellow and blue heterochromatic eyes > Played by Zodiac-Dream > Deceased

siblings >
    >> Smokefeather > Dark gray tabby she-cat with smoke markings, white underside, and light green eyes > Played by Jax47698 > Deceased
    >> Stonewhisper > Dark gray tabby tom with yellow eyes > Played by RubyRose364 > Deceased

    >> Ferntail > Brown calico she-cat with black spotting, amber eyes, and a bobbed tail > Played by Sn0wbranch > Alive
    >> Berryshine > Light brown tabby tom with lighter undersides and green eyes > Played by ScorcherSoldier > Deceased
    >> Yewberry > Light brown tabby tortoiseshell she-cat with amber eyes > Played by Sushipies > Deceased
    >> Mintbreeze > Brown she-cat with dark spotting, a white underside, green eyes, and a bobbed tail > Played by Winter5587 > Alive
    >> Hollyblossom > Dark gray spotted tabby she-cat with white undersides and blue eyes > Played by Melontine > Alive

    >> Stormfire > Dark gray tabby she-cat with green eyes > Played by monkiies > Deceased
    >> Frostwind > White she-cat with light gray markings and sky blue eyes > Played by th1stlew1ng > Deceased
    >> Nightpatch > Black-and-white she-cat with blue eyes > Played by coIdbrew > Deceased

mate >
    >> N/A

kits >
    >> Reed > Apricot broken mackerel tabby tom with green eyes > Played by Thrushgh0st > Alive
    >> Iris > Fawn broken mackerel tabby tortoiseshell she-cat with blue eyes and white spotting > Played by codesii > Alive
    >> Cinder > Apricot classic tabby tortoiseshell she-cat with green eyes and white spotting > Played by Northernsadness > Alive

extended >
    >> Swallowspark > Niece > Blue mackerel tortoiseshell tabby she-cat with hazel eyes > Played by PurpleSpaceCats > Deceased
    >> Monarchblaze > Nephew > Black ticked tortoiseshell tabby trans tom with golden eyes > Played by codesii > Alive
    >> Skipperbug > Niece > Blue tortoiseshell tabby she-cat with purple-blue eyes and extra toes > Played by Melontine > Alive
    >> Bluekit > Niece > Dusky blue mackerel tortoiseshell tabby she-cat with amber eyes > Played by Spacecat011 > Deceased

    >> Oysterkit > Nephew > Brown-and-white tabby bicolor tom with heterochromatic yellow and green eyes > Played by ShiiDreams > Alive
    >> Rosemarykit > Nibling > Blue tabby calico cat with heterochromatic blue and yellow eyes > Played by XxGlowingxX > Alive
    >> Orchidkit > Niece > Dark brown tabby she-cat with amber eyes > Played by WolvenShades > Alive

    >> Galekit > Niece > Black and silver bicolor tabby she-cat with heterochromatic blue and violet eyes > Played by WolvenShades > Alive
    >> Dewkit > Nephew > Silver tabby tom with blue eyes > Played by NorthernSadness > Alive
    >> Mistkit > Niece > Silver tabby she-cat with blue eyes > Played by pumpkiintears > Deceased

kithood [ 0 - 6 moons ] >
    Shadowkit was born to Snow-whisker in EmberClan alongside his sister, Smokekit, and his brother Stonekit. His father is an EmberClan warrior by the name of Snakeheart, who Snow-whisker spoke high of. Shadowkit didn't know who this warrior was for a while, as he never seemed to visit the nursery, but it wasn't hard to point him out by their similar pelts. As of right now, he doesn't really know much else about Snakeheart, but given what he has seen, he's alright with that.
    The little tom is never seen without his littermates. Wherever they are, he's trailing right after them. When he isn't with his littermates, he's seen hiding in the nursery with his pa or contemplating something. He wasn't the easiest kit to approach, but he was also comfortable to be around once his trust was gained. The other litter in the nursery, Irisdawn's kits, learned this quite quickly as he and his littermates integrated themselves with the older kits and made friends with them.
    Most of his kithood seemed quite uneventful. That is, save for the strange tension between his father, Snakeheart, him, and his littermates. Smokekit didn't seem to be bothered by their father, but Shadowkit and Stonekit could not agree with her. Stonekit felt something off about Snakeheart, something that Shadowkit did not see. Rather, he was taken aback by the strange attention that he would randomly receive from his father. When he came to the nursery, which was always a surprise in of itself, he seemed to pay extra attention to Shadowkit. He wasn't sure why Snakeheart did that, but he never liked it. It put a heavy feeling of responsibility to carry Snakeheart's legacy, and he came to resent any forms of attention save from Snow-whisker.
    One day, however, Snakeheart's visit turned out a bit different than normal. Rather than paying attention to Shadowkit, he seemed to focus more on talking to Irisdawn's kits, which was quite strange. He never paid them any mind before. It didn't bother Shadowkit, though he was still quite uncomfortable, but Stonekit couldn't stand his presence. There ended up being quite an argument between him and Snakeheart, though it felt more one-sided, and it ended up upsetting Snow-whisker. His pa left the nursery, with Snakeheart following shortly after, and leaving Shadowkit and his littermates baffled. Stonekit stayed with Irisdawn's kits, who had helped defend him against Snakeheart's harsh words, and Smokekit was unaffected. Shadowkit couldn't stay there, though, so he left the nursery, where he found Tigerfrost, his unofficial uncle. He took the time to calm down by having a casual conversation with him. It was a nice break, and when they were done, he went off to find his pa again and bring him back to the nursery.
    Shortly after this incident, Snow-whisker and Irisdawn announced to the kits that they loved each other and were to be mates. Shadowkit wasn't all too surprised; he noticed the subtle hints between them and could not deny that they looked very happy together. And he was quite okay with it too, as he knew his pa and father were not compatible nor healthy. So he welcomed Irisdawn into their now larger family with a small, polite smile, though it would still take him a while before he could truly open up to her.
    It was less than a moon before his apprenticeship that he confided in Snow-whisker about his gender identity. It was not that he did not feel like a tom, but more like he was comfortable with... anything. And he wasn't sure how to explain it, but Snow-whisker comforted him and told him it was alright to be who he wanted to be. Confidence flowed through him for the first time in his life, and with his pa's support, he told his littermates and step-siblings the same thing, and soon enough, he was out as a genderfluid cat. He was ready to start his new life as an apprentice then.

apprenticeship [ 6 moons - 12 moons ] >
    Well, at least they thought they were ready to be an apprentice. The ceremony was daunting, even with Reedstar's smile throughout their words and Snow-whisker's words of encouragement. Still, they made it through, and after their brother was named Stonepaw with Lavendernose for his mentor, Shadowkit, too, became an apprentice as Shadowpaw. They were given Cinderwhisper for their mentor. They did not know too much about her, as she seemed to keep her own presence in the clan quite on the down-low. Probably didn't help that her older sibling was the leader. Still, Shadowpaw thought this was a considerate decision on Reedstar's part. It helped their anxiety over attention, and they believed they could get along well with Cinderwhisper. It made them feel just a bit better about their apprenticeship.
    Their training was relatively easy. They got along well with Cinderwhisper, as they had predicted, and they liked working with her and the other apprentices. The only issue they ever seemed to have was the ever-watchful gaze of their father, Snakeheart. Though he had significantly drifted away from Shadowpaw's littermates, Snakeheart kept tabs on Shadowpaw's training and would talk and give them advice whenever possible. It made Shadowpaw quite uncomfortable, especially as his relationship with his littermates continued to drift, but were they really about to push away their father? It would seem unwise, especially given Snakeheart's influence. So they reluctantly accepted his assistance and odd attention, even if it made their muscles tense up.
    A little under halfway through their training, Smokepaw's mentor, Lambear, was found dead in the water. It seemed to affect Smokepaw greatly, and it hurt Shadowpaw to see his sister so distraught. He wanted to comfort her and be beside her like they would be as kits, though he did not. He was still unsure as to where his littermates' feelings stood with him, especially given his recent involvement with their father, whom Stonepaw hated so. He did not want to risk further damaging their relationships any further, so he watched on with remorse and shame as Smokepaw was reassigned to Fennelspark.
    During his apprenticeship, Shadowpaw began a newfound friendship with a young warrior by the name of Appletail. They had become a warrior only just before Shadowpaw became an apprentice, and they gave him tips for getting through apprenticeship. Shadowpaw was grateful for the conversation and friend, as he had begun to feel a bit alone without his littermates around. In addition to that, Appletail was a warrior that could go with Shadowpaw outside of camp to swim. He loved to swim, but with his restrictions, he was unable to swim anywhere but camp or just outside it. Appletail gave him the ability to go further and swim in new places, though this was an added bonus to the friendship. He was just as thankful to not be alone anymore.
    Shadowpaw had the pleasure to experience many of his fellow apprentices become warriors. This included his step-siblings from Irisdawn, who were named Ferntail, Berryshine, Mintbreeze, and Hollyblossom respectively. Before them, though, was what would have been Grizzlypaw and Mothpaw's warrior ceremonies. But Grizzlypaw earned her warrior name alone, for Mothpaw had decided clan life was not for him and left EmberClan to become a kittypet. Grizzlypaw pushed through it, becoming Grizzlygrowl. But not long after her ceremony, her mentor, Stoatshell, left EmberClan, too, later to be found in MarshClan. Shadowpaw could feel the judgment and disdain radiating from Snakeheart, and knowing that Stoatshell was previously his apprentice, Shadowpaw was unsure if it was just or not. So many changes were happening to EmberClan, but were they all good changes?

warriorhood [ 12 - 32 moons ] >
    It finally came to be their turn, alongside their littermates. They would become warriors and make changes to EmberClan, hopefully for the better. They earned their names in the same order as they did as apprentices. Smokepaw and Shadowpaw would come to share the same suffix, being named Smokefeather and Shadowfeather respectively. This warmed their heart a bit; maybe they could bond with their sister over this similarity. Perhaps things would begin to look up again. Their brother was named Stonewhisper after them, and they were all warriors for the first time.
    Of course, this did not mean that all relationships were suddenly better. Snakeheart continued to stick close to Shadowfeather, still trying to give them advice. Though they had begun to learn how to brush off their father's suggestions, they could not simply say no to him, either. And their relationship with their littermates was still not mended. He hoped they could all talk and celebrate their warriorhood together, but that did not seem like the case as Stonewhisper turned more towards their step-siblings. Mayhap another time then. But Shadowfeather did get congratulations from Appletail, to which they felt a bit better. They could go out swimming alone now, though they appreciated their older friend's company, and was glad they still were friends through Shadowfeather's hardships.
    Around the beginning of their warriorhood was when the whitecough and greencough began to hit the clans. It had begun in HailClan, where Yewpaw had mentioned the death of their medicine cat apprentice, Softstem. Then it spread like a wildfire, hitting the other clans so suddenly. EmberClan's first patients were Lavendernose, Stonewhisper's mentor, and... and Snow-whisker. Shadowfeather was terrified--petrified--about their father's illness. They had heard of the greencough taking the lives of many cats in the other clans, and so far, EmberClan had been lucky. But Lavendernose's whitecough quickly turned to greencough, and Shadowfeather began to fear for the worst. They could not be with their father to comfort him or themselves, knowing the risk of catching it, but how they wished they could. Instead, they could only pray to StarClan that Snow-whisker would make it out alive.
   Unfortunately, he didn't. Snow-whisker succumbed to his greencough, leaving Shadowfeather speechless. Their father was one of the few cats that they relied on and were comfortable around, and now he's gone. Since his death, Shadowfeather has been feeling strong pangs of pain in his chest, and he is unsure how to deal with it. The upside is that their father's death has seemingly helped bring Shadowfeather and his littermates closer again, if just a bit. But how long was that going to last?
    At some point, the elevation of the water in their territory had begun to increase. Shadowfeather had not noticed it, his mind too lost in his grief. He wondered if maybe the sky was crying with him when it rained. But he still pulled out momentarily to help the clan adjust to the flooding. He had later learned that the rain caused HailClan's territory to flood and the clan to relocate. He wondered if that would end up happening to EmberClan. He hoped not.
    It seemed like there would never be an end to the epidemic. More cats got sick, and some shared the same fate as Snow-whisker. Among the dead were Minnowfin and Bearclaw, two well-respected elders. Thrushbriar and Wheatkit, on the other paw, managed to recover, which had everyone breathing a sigh of relief. Shadowfeather should have felt lucky to have never been hit by the greencough, but he couldn't find himself to be. Too many had been lost, and he wasn't sure he would ever be able to recover from the loss of his pa.
    But fate was cruel and didn't wait for the grieving to mourn. If it wasn't greencough, it would be something else. And this time, it was Smokefeather's turn to leave. A snake had bitten her, and its venom ultimately killed her. Her death left the family stunned, especially Shadowfeather and Stonewhisper. They sat vigil for her for a long time; it was between this and Snow-whisker's death that seemed to bring the two siblings just a little bit closer. Shadowfeather only wished that it didn't have to come to this to bring them together again. At the end of the vigil, Stonewhisper was able to go back to their step-family, but Shadowfeather... they felt like they had no one. They were not close with their step-mother or step-siblings, and they felt wrong to turn to them simply for sympathy and pity. So they ultimately felt better when Snakeheart approached them. Sure, his father didn't seem all too bothered by his daughter's death, but he reassured Shadowfeather and told them that he was there for them. Normally, Shadowfeather would pull away and simply nod, but he ultimately needed that comfort, regardless of who it was from. So they leaned on Snakeheart in their time of need, feeling connected to someone again from their family.
    Smokefeather was buried, and life needed to move on. The clan welcomed back Stumpytrail, a cat who had disappeared a couple of moons ago, while Shadowfeather delved into their warrior duties to distract them. He had hardly noticed the passing of the greencough epidemic, the cases slowly becoming less and less after taking its final victim in the form of Fennelspark. He was thankful to see the weather warming up, though, and prey slowly returned. The lake began to thaw out, and Shadowfeather was beyond relieved to be able to swim again.
    Things slowly seemed to return to normal. EmberClan began to thrive again, and it all started when they got to honor Hurricanewatcher's time as a medicine cat after he ultimately retired to the elders' den. Shadowfeather's attention was more on his step-brother, but Yewberry seemed more than ready to be the sole medicine cat, so he had to believe that he would be alright. The clan celebrated new mateships, including Addersong and Cinderwhisper as well as Reedstar and Tigerfrost rekindling their own mateship. Shadowfeather was quite happy for both couples; he had been close with Tigerfrost since his birth, and was well-acquainted with Reedstar; Cinderwhisper being his mentor, he figured it was about time that her and Addersong tie the knot. It was around this time that Shadowfeather wondered about love. He never had really experienced it; the love between his father and pa was fake, and though he had seen it around him, Shadowfeather had never felt it himself. At least, not that he was aware. When he tried to think about it more, the only cat that really came up in his mind was Appletail, his beloved friend. He wasn't sure if that was the love everyone else felt for each other, but he definitely enjoyed the company of Appletail. That was the closest to love he could feel, and he was satisfied with that.
    The good news continued as Reedstar got to name a variety of new apprentices. Appletail was given one of the apprentices, a spunky apprentice by the name of Cottonpaw. She was quite the opposite of Shadowfeather and Appletail, but she was motivated and kind. Shadowfeather was sure that Appletail would be okay training her. Though they found themselves spending less time with Appletail as they focused on Cottonpaw's training. That didn't mean they didn't have their swimming sessions by the end of the day, though.
    Every piece of good news would be set back with another piece of bad news. More deaths occurred, with one of them being to yet another venomous snake. Copperblaze was the one to be bitten this time, and they lost their life to it, much like Smokefeather did a couple moons ago. It brought back the ache in Shadowfeather's heart even just thinking about his sister. He tried not to think about it though. Pinemask was another to pass away, his body found in the rubble that was left of a rockslide. The clan honored the both of them appropriately, but they wouldn't have much time left to grieve for them.
    It was early in the morning, and Shadowfeather had joined his clan for an early meal alongside his father, Snakeheart, who had graciously woken him up from a nightmare. Yet, he couldn't find it in him to eat, and as Snakeheart prodded him about it, their conversation was cut by yelling and the sound of thundering paws. Dropletshine had ran into the camp, and behind them followed a ginger she-cat. Shadowfeather didn't recognize her, but Reedstar and his clanmates' hisses of the name 'Wildblossom' struck a familiar cord in him. He didn't know the she-cat personally, her having been exiled before he was even born. But he heard the stories, and the reactions of his clanmates only confirmed his discomfort and fear.
    While Sleetpuddle went to tackle the rogue, Dropletshine had raced into Reedstar's den. When they came back out, they were tossing aside the fish that Reedstar was going to eat. Dropletshine attempted to convince the cats to get off of Wild, but no one moved. Shadowfeather, unsure of what to do, only glanced between his father and Reedstar as Snakeheart spoke to them. Reedstar instructed the cats to let Wild go, much to Snakeheart's dismay. Shadowfeather remained to the sidelines, where Snakeheart had joined him. But with his father murmur, Shadowfeather wondered what would happen as he turned to watch with a nervous gaze.
    The clan was stunned into silence as Wild sliced into Reedstar's fish, only to find it filled to the brim with deathberries. Someone was trying to kill Reedstar. Shadowfeather was horrified, and any appetite he did have was quickly lost as he nudged his own fish away. Stonewhisper had even come to check on him, which Shadowfeather appreciated. As others checked their own prey and Spiderpaw went around looking for signs of illness, Wild explained; she talked about some spirit by the name of Blizzardfang who had coerced this. Apparently, that spirit was the reason Wild had become so terrible in her leadership so many moons ago, though Shadowfeather had no opinion on that. She told Reedstar and the others that cats of the living world had joined forces with her, and the plan to kill Reedstar was formed between her and her minions. When asked about these supposed spies, Wild faltered for a moment. She mentioned the scent of seven cats, the scents of all four clans mingled, and among them, she believed she recognized Sleetpuddle and Tigerfrost among the cats with Blizzardfang.
    Shadowfeather stared at Tigerfrost for a long time. He felt doubt in his chest to the words, especially when he remembered all the times he saw Tigerfrost and Reedstar together. They were in love... right? Surely Wild's words were false. His own thoughts were echoed by his father, who questioned Wild. Reedstar, meanwhile, began to question Sleetpuddle on the deathberry-filled fish--the fish that apparently he had given Reedstar that morning. Sleetpuddle had faltered, which raised an alarm in Shadowfeather's head. But Reedstar moved on and turned to Wild, who had admitted she wasn't sure on who exactly was there with Blizzardfang. Ultimately, Reedstar decided to essentially imprison Wild in EmberClan's camp after doubting her words, and in the same breath, he told Dropletshine that they were free to go. Angered by the leader's decision, however, Dropletshine chose to stay as well for their friend.
    The chaos soon evaporated, and though there was still tension from the issue, everyone began to move on about their day. Shadowfeather, however, remained unsure and terrified. They decided to leave camp and go for a swim, ignoring any words that their father called out to them. Swimming was usually so relaxing, but as they continued to swim in circles, terrible thoughts only continued to build up inside their head. Who would try to kill Reedstar? Surely it would be someone that found them as an obstacle. And that certainly wasn't Tigerfrost. Sleetpuddle, though... Shadowfeather didn't know much about the older tom save for him being Cinderwhisper's littermate, but something about that interaction didn't settle well in their belly. They chose to avoid Sleetpuddle from then, at least until things would clear up. It may be difficult, given Sleetpuddle and Snakeheart's strange friendship, but Shadowfeather felt more comfortable in putting space between themselves and whatever horrors were running through EmberClan.
    The next quarter moon was uneventful, yet it felt as terrible as ever. The tensions were still quite high in EmberClan, with many stealing glances at Wild's den or whispering about this so-called Blizzardfang. Shadowfeather almost couldn't stand the gossip and tension anymore, and if it weren't for his loved ones, he was sure he would have ran away by now. Snakeheart had told him to ignore it all, with special precautions to stay away from Wild. Appletail helped him immensely, and when he wasn't around Snakeheart, Stonewhisper would come see him, too. It comforted him to have cats that were close with him, even if he sometimes felt like they were not.
    EmberClan would soon learn that they were not the only ones dealing with issues, however. One day, a stranger had been found by a patrol--a patrol that Shadowfeather happened to be on. She came from HailClan's territory and had HailClan's scent, yet she looked lost and confused. At first, Shadowfeather wondered if her pleas for help were some trick--perhaps another one of Blizzardfang's plans. But she seemed genuine in her cries, so he dropped his wall as they all circled her for comfort. Without knowing her situation, the patrol brought the HailClan cat back to camp.
    There, she introduced herself as Pigeoncall. Reedstar had been away on a walk with their mother, but they returned shortly after the patrol. Pigeoncall explained their situation to Reedstar then and there; her father, Swanstar, had fallen unconscious from an illness, and since then, his deputy Robinear has taken over leadership. Robinear had exiled Pigeoncall from HailClan after breaking the warrior code moons ago, despite the protests of many of her clanmates. With this story, Reedstar agreed to allow her to stay so long as she contributed for the clan. Pigeoncall seemed extremely thankful, and Shadowfeather, along with some of their clanmates, welcomed her as best they could. It would be odd, having a HailClan cat in the camp, but it could come out to be helpful.
    That is, until more showed up. It wasn't just one cat this time, but a whole family. The leader of the group introduced himself as Salmonflight, and he said that he had followed Pigeoncall's scent to the camp. He told Reedstar more in detail what had happened in HailClan's camp, and he said that his family refused to be in a place where one of their own was not welcome. The situation had put Reedstar in a bit of a bind, but the leader ultimately decided to welcome Salmonflight and his family into EmberClan as well, with the same circumstances he had given Pigeoncall. It seemed to be a relief to the HailClan cats, and to Shadowfeather as well when they noticed they had young kits with them. They couldn't live out there as rogues with them, right? He hoped they would all be okay with the strange new environment. Snakeheart seemed upset about letting some refugees into EmberClan, but Shadowfeather ignored him as they set out to help get the HailClan cats situated and comfortable. It seemed like it would be a long few moons for both HailClan and EmberClan.
    More HailClan cats continued to follow Salmonflight's example, finding themselves at EmberClan's doorstep. The camp was growing increasingly crowded, and if it weren't for the distressed voice of Newtspring, Shadowfeather wasn't sure anyone would have noticed Thrushbriar and his son, Wheatkit, going missing. It raised alarms in the clan, and multiple patrols were sent out to try and find the missing cats. But their scents disappeared off the territory, with Thrushbriar's being just a bit stronger than Wheatkit's. The two were lost to them, at least for the time being. With pained hearts, EmberClan was forced to move on without them. After all, they had a lot of other things going on for them to devote too many resources to finding the warrior and kit.
    Still, Shadowfeather couldn't help but feel terrible for Newtspring and her remaining kits. They became apprentices not half a moon after their brother had gone missing, and what should have been a celebratory moment felt terribly somber.Shadowfeather could only watch the ceremony from the sidelines as each kit was given their mentor. Holly blossom got one, but that was about the only connection they could make with the kits. After the ceremony, they left camp to go swim, the bogginess of the air in camp only making their heart heavier.
    At least the nursery opened up with their apprenticeship, because it was sure going to need it. It was like a dam had bursted, and the nursery was packed with expecting parents. Reedstar and Tigerfrost were expecting their first litter, which the entire clan celebrated. The other two expecting couples, however, had everyone stunned. One of them was the exiled HailClan warrior, Pigeoncall, who was expecting Ganderslash–an EmberClan warrior’s–kits. She had mentioned breaking the code before… did she do it again? Shadowfeather couldn’t really say. After all, she technically wasn’t HailClan at the moment, and the HailClan cats had been in EmberClan for a bit now. Still, her relationship with Ganderslash was a bit more friendly even the day of her appearance, to the point where he wondered if they hadn’t already been together before her exile.
    The other expectant couple was not unlike those two. One day, the senior warrior Cricketstorm walked into camp with a stranger. She looked nervous as he guided her to Reedstar. There, he declared that the unfamiliar she-cat was expecting his kits. Her name was Hootsong, and she was an exiled MarshClan warrior. They apparently had been together for quite some time, and the couple was requesting that Hootsong move to EmberClan so that their kits can be raised in a safe environment and with their family together. The news surprised many, and the camp was filled with whispers. Shadowfeather noticed their father rolling his eyes, but they didn’t comment on it themselves. However, after much contemplation, Reedstar agreed to let Hootsong stay, and the nursery had another expectant queen.
    The buzz in camp of all the surprises had Shadowfeather on edge for a bit. He was sympathetic for Pigeoncall and Hootsong, if just a bit. Sure, they broke the warrior code, but it sounds like they paid harsh prices for it in being exiled from their clans. And now they were in an unfamiliar place, about to have kits. He hoped they would be okay. He, instead, turned to the happiness that the clan experienced from the return of Thrushbriar and Wheatkit. The two had been missing for about a moon now, and though they both looked pretty beaten up, they were in one piece. Wheatkit was made an apprentice immediately, and they were welcomed back by their family. Shadowfeather was happy to see Newtspring and the others so relieved. He watched their family with an ache in his own heart. He missed that feeling; having a family he could go back to at the end of the day. Snow-whisker was gone, though–so was Smokefeather. Stonewhisper hated Snakeheart and stuck to their step-mother and step-siblings. What about Shadowfeather? He wasn’t sure what his role was in his family, and an emptiness in his chest only made him feel lonely in that filled camp.
    Shadowfeather didn’t often go to gatherings. They found them stressful and could never sleep the night after them, so they sat out of them as much as possible. So when a day gathering was announced, Shadowfeather was adamant about their opposition in going. And perhaps that was a good decision. The sky went dark that day not long after their clanmates left for the gathering, and then a big storm occurred. Shadowfeather stayed in the warriors’ den for the entire storm, and by the time it was starting to calm down, the cats from the gathering had returned. They were abuzz with whispers and fleeting looks. What could have them all so flighty?
    They approached their clanmates hesitantly, curious about the commotion. They weren’t sure what to expect, but it certainly wasn’t anything that their clanmates told them. When the sun had disappeared, lightning struck Hope Bridge and sent it ablaze. Within the flames, a ghost had appeared, one that EmberClan had never met, but knew all too terribly: Blizzardfang. She had confirmed everything Wild had said, saying that she has spies planted in all of the clans to take the clans down. Wild and Dropletshine had left EmberClan’s camp, unbeknownst to Shadowfeather, to fight her. However, while they did fight her, along with some other cats like Sleetpuddle and MarshClan’s leader, Sandstar, they could not defeat her before she disappeared with the flames. The rain started and put out Hope Bridge, and it was all over.
    Shadowfeather wasn’t sure he could believe the story, at least not until he saw the minor injuries that Wild and Sleetpuddle had sustained. So now not only was Wild’s story correct, but this Blizzardfang could come to the living world? Shadowfeather felt his legs trembling. What in StarClan’s name was going on? Where was StarClan? Was this not concerning enough for them to help? He found it hard to turn to anyone about his concerns, even his own father, and Shadowfeather secluded himself after finding out this information. He couldn’t even bring himself to talk to Appletail. He didn’t know what to do, but he certainly couldn’t put his burdens on others.
    At least there was more news to keep his mind off of the terrible reality of Blizzardfang. Both Pigeoncall–who had changed her name to Pigeon–and Reedstar gave birth to their kits, filling the nursery with seven new kits. Shadowfeather poked his head in to get a peek at Reedstar and Tigerfrost’s kits, but he never went into to properly meet them. He was comfortable seeing them from a distance, and seeing the love his uncle showed to those kits had him smiling. Half a moon later, four more kits were born to Cricketstorm and Hootsong. Despite the controversy around their relationship, the senior warrior held his head high when he announced the kits and their names. Meanwhile, Salmonflight’s kits became apprentices and left the nursery, which opened up some space for the new ones. It was nice seeing both clans thriving, especially given that the last time Shadowfeather heard anything about HailClan, their clan had completely fallen apart and their leader had tragically lost his other life in a murder after just waking up from his coma.
    EmberClan also got some more help in caring for these kits as two more HailClan refugees were taken in. The HailClan cats seemed happy to see them, and though it made the camp just a bit more cramped, Shadowfeather could only figure at this time that the best way to put the situation was, ‘the more the merrier’. Not that he associated himself with any of them; he was already struggling enough with his own clanmates.
    Things seemed to be going well, despite the looming doom above their heads. There was the occasional death–no one that Shadowfeather was close with–but the positives seemed to outweigh the negatives. As things seemed to settle down, Shadowfeather tried to integrate themselves back into their clan.
    But that hope was shot when Wild was suddenly found unconscious in their den. Upon further inspection, there were deathberries in the fresh-kill that she was eating. It was not unlike the trick that the spies had tried to play on Reedstar moons ago, and now they were going after Wild. Was it because she was compromising their clan? What if she was right about who the spies were, and they were trying to eliminate her now? It was horrifying to realize that someone inside their clan would even do such a thing, but Shadowfeather could not put their paw on it. Not until they noticed two figures leaving camp.
    It was Tigerfrost and Snakeheart. It had been some time since those two were in each other’s company, and something about it unsettled Shadowfeather. Wild said there were two spies in EmberClan, and she named Tigerfrost… he didn’t want to believe it, but Shadowfeather found himself following the two from a distance. He couldn’t let this go–not after what happened with Wild.
    They followed them for a bit, up to the HailClan territory line. Shadowfeather ensured that they couldn’t be seen by his father and uncle, hiding within the dense bushes and trees. And then they began talking. For a moment, Shadowfeather couldn’t hear them, too far away to listen in. But they could see the cues; Snakeheart being the clever and cunning tom he was, while Tigerfrost seemed to only get more and more frustrated. Shadowfeather tried to sneak closer, but they were startled by the sudden change of tone in their father’s voice. Snakeheart was angry–it was never good when he was angry. He was going on a rant about how EmberClan never once thought for themselves and stuck their noses too much in the business of the other clans, all while standing toe-to-toe with Tigerfrost. And when Tigerfrost tried to defend EmberClan, Snakeheart only twisted the words again. He brought up something about killing a cat, and Shadowfeather’s ears went back. Tigerfrost killed Salmonflight’s father? He wasn’t sure he believed it. At least, not until Tigerfrost only confirmed it. It was true–Tigerfrost had killed a cat. But that didn’t mean he would go after Reedstar, right? He loved Reedstar. He wouldn’t be one of Blizzardfang’s spies.
    They began talking about kits–arguing over them. Shadowfeather had perked his ears again as he tried to lean in and listen. He had missed the first few parts of it, but when Snakeheart spoke his name, Shadowfeather winced. He wasn’t sure how he felt, being Snakeheart’s favorite, his father putting words in his mouth. Did he love his father…? Shadowfeather wasn’t sure he could answer that question himself. And he didn’t really have time to answer it.
    Tigerfrost attacked Snakeheart, pinning him down to the ground. Shadowfeather, alarmed, was about to cry out, but they restrained themselves. No, what would happen to them if they knew that they were watching? Tigerfrost would never hurt them… surely he wouldn’t. Snakeheart wouldn’t either. Yet, something had them frozen in their place as Snakeheart retaliated and escaped before turning the attack on Tigerfrost. Shadowfeather watched in horror as two cats that meant so much to him fought. For the longest time, it seemed like Snakeheart had the advantage. And as he did, he spilled everything; he was one of Blizzardfang’s spies. Though he didn’t call himself one, stating he was simply doing what he needed to help EmberClan. Something in their chest told Shadowfeather that they always knew this information, but it still shocked them to hear. Apparently, though, it did not surprise Tigerfrost.
    As if that information gave Tigerfrost a new surge of strength, he was able to shake Snakeheart off and slash his neck. It was a fatal wound as Snakeheart fell, and though he tried to get up, his strength seemed to be fading fast. At first, it seemed Tigerfrost was going in for the kill, but something stopped him. Shadowfeather couldn’t hear what Snakeheart said, but whatever it was, it caused Tigerfrost to falter and back away. Then, he turned and left Snakeheart there to die.
    Shadowfeather was shaking. Everything that just happened… it felt like a whole life had flashed in front of him. But with every second he was standing there, Snakeheart–his father–was dying. And he… he couldn’t leave him like that. Shadowfeather finally took a step, and he found himself at Snakeheart’s side.
    His father seemed content to see him, but upon realizing Shadowfeather wasn’t there to help him, he only got angry again. To be fair, Shadowfeather wasn’t sure he would be able to help Snakeheart if he wanted to. Instead, he only tried to get something–anything--out of Snakeheart about what he had done. Why did he try to kill Reedstar? What about EmberClan? Snakeheart only repeated what he said, that it was in EmberClan’s best interest to have a stronger leader. A leader like him. Shadowfeather couldn’t believe it all. Snakeheart spat insults at him for his softness; he called him despicable, a coward, a disappointment. The words stung, but at the same time, Shadowfeather felt he wasn’t quite wrong. He shamefully accepted his father’s words.
    Until Snakeheart said he had respectable kits. This caught Shadowfeather’s attention as he stared at Snakeheart in disbelief. He had lumped Shadowfeather and Stonewhisper together, and Smokefeather was gone. So who in StarClan’s name was he talking about? He wasn’t sure he wanted to know, but his words betrayed him as Shadowfeather hesitantly asked Snakeheart. He dropped an unexpected fact on Shadowfeather; Irisdawn’s kits were Snakeheart’s. They weren’t his step-siblings; they were his half-siblings. Shadowfeather couldn’t believe it, staring at his father in horror. But the more Snakeheart spoke, the more that it all began to make more sense. They… they were his half-siblings. He was still trying to come to terms with this when Snakeheart said he’d watch over him in StarClan, and then he went quiet.
    Panic set into Shadowfeather. He scrambled to press against Snakeheart’s wounds, begging for his father to open his eyes. He tried to convince himself that he wanted to learn more, but a terrifying feeling of loneliness began to set in as Snakeheart’s life slipped through his paws. He knew it wasn’t true, but… he felt Snakeheart was the only one he had left. He couldn’t go back to his living family. He couldn’t return to Stonewhisper as if Snakeheart never existed, and StarClan forbid he try to form a relationship with his half-siblings, who didn’t even know they were his half-siblings. He couldn’t think. He could only frantically watch in fear as Snakeheart passed away.
    Shadowfeather sat there for a long time with his father’s body. His legs were trembling as he tried his hardest not to cry. What was he going to do now…? He felt empty inside, but as time passed, he realized he had to wake up and return to reality. Shadowfeather took his time getting up and recomposing himself. He needed to get Snakeheart back to camp. Even if the clan didn’t respect him, he deserved the burial of a warrior. He did what he did for EmberClan… right? He was a warrior to his end, even if it wasn’t in a noble way. Snakeheart felt heavier than ever as Shadowfeather grabbed him by the scruff and began to drag him, slowly, back to camp.
    Alarms were raised the moment Shadowfeather walked into camp with Snakeheart. He didn’t answer any question until he got his father to the middle of camp. And even then, it took him a long time to find his words. He met Tigerfrost’s gaze, and something told him that Tigerfrost knew he knew. But Shadowfeather only turned away. He announced that he found Snakeheart dead, and he also announced to the clan that Snakeheart was one of Blizzardfang’s spies. When questioned as to how he knew, Shadowfeather didn’t respond. He didn’t want to respond. Why did it matter how he found out? One of her spies was gone now, and that was what mattered most. Shadowfeather only requested that, despite what he had done, Snakeheart be given a vigil and a proper burial. It took convincing, but he finally managed to get the others to agree to it. Shadowfeather laid beside his father the entire night. He was surprised when Stonewhisper joined him; he knew it wasn’t for Snakeheart, but he still appreciated his brother’s presence as he leaned into him. The night seemed to be going both quickly and as slow as possible at the same time, and by the time the morning came, Shadowfeather still wasn’t ready to say goodbye.
    They watched with a heavy heart as the others took Snakeheart’s body away. They wondered if they would really honor Shadowfeather’s wishes and give him a proper burial, but they figured it was out of their paws now. Shadowfeather said nothing to Stonewhisper as they turned to the warriors’ den to go sleep, their tail dragging in the dirt. They remained in their nest for multiple days, only getting out for the necessities. No one seemed to bother them, though they could hear whispers. Whispers about his father, whispers about them, and whispers about everything else. Apparently, Wild had regained consciousness from her poisoning, only to lose her life a few days later. She came back to life, however, before the clan could begin her vigil. It must have been StarClan’s gift from when she was leader. Who knows–Snakeheart didn’t believe in StarClan. Shadowfeather wasn’t sure they did anymore, either.
    It was difficult for Shadowfeather, but they eventually realized they couldn’t just wallow in their nest for the rest of their life. They needed to get up and help the clan. It would make both of his fathers proud, right? His loved ones seemed relieved to see him come out of the warriors’ den without reason, though Shadowfeather found himself continuing to avoid them. He was surprised to see Sleetpuddle following Irisdawn around, however. Through whispers and gossip, he learned that Sleetpuddle had been put under Irisdawn’s guidance, not unlike an apprentice. As Shadowfeather heard this, he was able to put two-and-two together; Sleetpuddle was Blizzardfang’s spy, wasn’t he? Snakeheart likely convinced him to join Blizzardfang’s ranks, having such an influence on the tom. With Snakeheart gone, he had no drive to follow Blizzardfang anymore, and it was clear that he had a change of heart as he worked hard for his clan. Perhaps this was his punishment. Yet, no one seemed to talk about him being a spy. Was that outed information? Shadowfeather figured it wasn’t. He kept his own realizations to himself, allowing the older tom the opportunity to tell the clan himself.
    He only wished he could continue avoiding Sleetpuddle alongside his family. But he couldn’t help the patrols that he would be assigned to, and when he was assigned to escort duty with Irisdawn and Sleetpuddle for some HailClan cats, he found himself extremely uncomfortable. Irisdawn didn’t know he knew about her kits… and he wasn’t sure how to bring it up with her? It only made the relationship between the two of them more awkward, and he felt bad that Irisdawn didn’t know why. The nerves were interrupted when the party came across a young cat at the border. Salmonflight and Lilacpool, who was Salmonflight’s mother, approached the young cat with Irisdawn and Sleetpuddle, while Shadowfeather stayed behind. He was surprised to hear that the young cat was Pigeon’s son; she had another litter that lived somewhere else? He went by the name of Junior, and that was what told Shadowfeather that he was a kittypet. The party tried to convince Junior to go home, but he refused. He wanted to join the clans, it seemed.
    Shadowfeather offered to inform Reedstar about the situation, but Irisdawn stopped them. She said that Sleetpuddle could go get them if it was required, reminding everyone of Sleetpuddle’s position as an apprentice. They wished they could argue with her, but they only turned away awkwardly. Even hearing her address them made them feel uncomfortable. They only continued to listen with a quiet mind, their own thoughts about the situation filling their head. The HailClan cats seemed alright with the idea of Junior joining HailClan, which put the minds of the EmberClan cats at ease. They didn’t need another mouth to feed, especially not with all of the kits they had in the nursery. As Irisdawn noted their departure back for camp, Shadowfeather once again spoke up that they would go notify Reedstar. Before anyone could protest the idea, they turned back and ran for camp. They couldn’t be around Irisdawn anymore. Even if it would just be for a moment, they would be thankful for the time alone.
    They informed Reedstar of the situation just before the rest of the party returned. With Reedstar’s approval and the acknowledgement that the young kittypet would go with HailClan once they left EmberClan, Junior became an apprentice. He was renamed to Juniperpaw and was put under Salmonflight’s guidance, which seemed reasonable. After all, it was Salmonflight that decided to take Juniperpaw in. It seemed as if the camp was only becoming more and more cramped, and Shadowfeather wasn’t sure what to think about it at this point. Whenever they felt overwhelmed, they just left to swim.
    Life in the clans continued. Shadowfeather couldn’t help but watch Juniperpaw’s progression with his training from a distance, all while continuing to keep to themselves. The clan began to have an issue with coyotes as Fireflydawn returned to camp mortally wounded. He died of his injuries, but not before telling the clan that Weaselsight was dead out in the territory, as well. Neither were cats that Shadowfeather was close to, but the thought of coyotes had him on edge. Hopefully the clan could take care of them soon.
    The warriors’ deaths were overshadowed by the morning that Sleetpuddle was found critically wounded in his nest. Cries of shock awoke Shadowfeather from their own slumber, and they watched as cats quickly rushed Sleetpuddle to the medicine den. Shadowfeather couldn’t help but be a little concerned for the tom; sure, they avoided him at all costs due to his previous relationship with their father, but Sleetpuddle was clearly trying to make amends. What could have caused such terrible injuries? When Sleetpuddle came to later that day, Reedstar called a clan meeting. There, Reedstar announced that Sleetpuddle had been one of Blizzardfang’s spies, but that he had also had a paw in stopping her. Before anymore could be spoken, however, cries of outrage echoed the camp walls. Drizzlesong, Sleetpuddle and Reedstar’s mother, was the angriest of them all, calling out not only her son, but her elder kit as well for giving Sleetpuddle a second chance. Irisdawn, who sat beside Shadowfeather, also questioned it, which only had Shadowfeather wincing.
    It took a moment, but Reedstar and Sleetpuddle were able to put themselves back in the conversation. Reedstar stated that Snakeheart was the one that caused Sleetpuddle to do what he did, and that with Snakeheart gone, EmberClan was safe. Sleetpuddle confirmed their words. Shadowfeather felt their own heart sting at the mention of their father. They found themselves curling into themselves, wishing they could simply disappear. But the conversation only continued to turn back to Snakeheart, regardless of how many times it got diverted. Shadowfeather couldn’t stand it anymore. The breaking point was Drizzlesong denouncing Sleetpuddle as her kit. When she left, Shadowfeather found themselves leaving in a hasty fashion, as well. They didn’t follow the elder, though. Their mind was wild with grief and confusion and loneliness. They needed to swim. They needed to get away.
    The water felt refreshing and welcoming on his fur as Shadowfeather dipped his paws into the lake. It wasn’t long until after he was casually floating in the water, allowing everything around him to disappear. He felt himself slowly relaxing, thinking for the first time in moons without a care in the world. But that was all shattered when someone called out to him. Startled, Shadowfeather turned to look, and his heart dropped at the sight of his unwelcomed company: Irisdawn.
    She asked him what was wrong. How in StarClan’s name was he supposed to respond? That he missed his father? That the words everyone spat about him stung? That he knew her secret? Was it even considered a secret to her? Well, she lied about who her kits’ father was, so sure it was. Shadowfeather trembled at every question that invaded his peaceful space. He had to find solid ground again so as not to forget how to swim, and his voice shook as he relayed every question he thought to Irisdawn. Just how was he supposed to feel? He was the kit of a monster, and he knew he was a monster… but he missed his father so terribly much. He couldn’t find it in him to hate him like his clanmates did, even though he knew that Snakeheart’s love for him was likely fake. For moons, Shadowfeather could hold in his feelings. He held it in when Snow-whisker died, and again when Smokefeather died. He had Stonewhisper and Appletail and the clan behind him for it. But when Snakeheart died…? There was no one. No one to support him in his emotional turmoil. He had no one to think about when he tried to hold it in, so why bother? He couldn’t anymore.
    Irisdawn tried to comfort him, but it seemed as she tried, something was weighing her down, too. She found herself crouched beside him, and Shadowfeather wasn’t expecting her own voice to start shaking. She confessed to him about her kits being his half-siblings. Shadowfeather felt numb. He had still been trying to convince himself that Snakeheart was lying about that. But one thing he learned over time was that Snakeheart truly never lied. He twisted words, but he didn’t lie. The weight of that secret seemed to put Irisdawn over the edge, and Shadowfeather admitted to her that he knew. But as he turned to talk to her, he was startled by the close proximity of each other, and he stumbled back. This seemed to get the wrong impression on Irisdawn, and she quickly got up to leave.
    Shadowfeather stopped her, telling her that he didn’t blame her. There was no blame to toss; not towards her, not towards Snow-whisker, not towards his littermates or his siblings, and, admittedly, not even towards Snakeheart. Shadowfeather felt that the only one to blame was himself. He told Irisdawn as they began to depart that her kits deserved to know about their lineage. He didn’t want them to share his burden–far from it, in fact–but for them to create their own legacies. He wanted them to prove that bad blood did not run in their veins, that they could do something that he could not. Irisdawn was terrified though. It had been moons–seasons--of building up this lie. How would her kits react? Would they be angry with her? Shadowfeather disagreed. They loved their mother and would see it as her protecting them. He told her it was okay to be afraid, even if there wasn’t something to be afraid of. In the end, he didn’t pressure her, stating that in the end, it was her decision. However, he felt they deserved the truth. With that, he left Irisdawn there to contemplate as he walked the lake’s shore in hopes to find a new place to swim. Hopefully, this time, he would be left uninterrupted, too.
    When he returned to camp, his clanmates seemed to have disbanded from the clan meeting and were within their own whispers again. Shadowfeather learned that, after he departed, Sleetpuddle announced that there were two spies in HailClan, being Robinear–the former deputy–and Rippletide, who had helped him kill Blizzardfang. Rippletide had been the one to kill both Kitestar and Swanstar, too. With this news out, HailClan, too, was filled with a buzz that measured uncertainty and relief. With Blizzardfang gone, perhaps things could go back to normal. Yet… HailClan didn’t have a leader. Who would lead them now? They didn’t know, and so HailClan remained in EmberClan for the time being.
    Meanwhile, Reedstar was finally able to go to Crystal Falls and receive their second life. It had been occupied by Wild for the longest time, but now that she had only one life, they were able to claim the life and be rightfully named as EmberClan’s leader. Things continued to look up for EmberClan as new warriors were named, but it was always the setbacks that seemed to affect Shadowfeather the most.
    His half-brother, Berryshine, died. He had consumed a toxic plant and was found later on. Of his half-siblings, Berryshine felt the closest that Shadowfeather could connect to. This wasn’t because they were close relationship-wise. Rather, Berryshine was the one of Irisdawn’s litter that resembled Snakeheart the most. As Shadowfeather pieced more of the family dynamic together, he began to realize that Berryshine being his son is why Snakeheart had paid so much attention to him in earlier moons. He was another Snakeheart’s closely-held pawns, even if he didn’t know it. And now he is gone. Shadowfeather felt he couldn’t feel any more grief, and though he attended his brother’s vigil, he sat at a distance, watching as his other siblings–Stonewhisper included–grieved for Berryshine. By the time his body was taken for burial, Shadowfeather felt empty.
    The new Hope Bridge was an exciting piece of news for all of the clans. When the first gathering happened at it, everyone was surprised to see that the twolegs had made it out of stone this time. Well, at least it can’t catch on fire anymore. It brought a new sense of hope to the territories, and especially to HailClan. It wasn’t long after its completion that the HailClan cats in EmberClan gathered to leave. EmberClan had learned that StarClan spoke to them about who their next leader was, and based on how Salmonflight conducted the cats with both confidence and a fidgeting body, Shadowfeather could take a guess at who it was. By the time HailClan cleared out, EmberClan’s camp suddenly felt terribly spacious. It wasn’t unlike Shadowfeather’s heart, and he wondered if his clanmates were feeling the same emptiness that he did.
    It was good to see HailClan back together at the next gathering, and as Shadowfeather expected, Salmonstar had become their leader. They mentioned that they were working hard on repairing their camp and resetting their borders, and it would take them time to recover from the damage that Robinear and Rippletide had caused to their clan. Shadowfeather, however, believed they could make it.
    EmberClan, meanwhile, began to thrive under the lack of Blizzardfang and her spies’ watching gazes. The clan welcomed many new warriors into their ranks, including Thrushbriar’s kits and even Sleetpuddle a moon after them, who had redeemed himself in Reedstar’s eyes. There was some loss, of course, with Cottontuft and Mistycreek. Shadowfeather wondered how Appletail was handling their apprentice dying, but they couldn’t bring themselves to comfort their friend. They still watched from a distance, feeling terrible for staying away. However, they felt it was in everyone’s best interest that they did.
    The warriors’ den was not the only den that was welcoming new additions. Reedstar and Ganderslash’s kits became apprentices, with the exception of Dovekit, who had left with Pigeon when she departed to become a rogue shortly before HailClan left. Stonewhisper became a mentor to Goosepaw, and Shadowfeather could only smile at their brother from a distance in congratulations. They did not, however, say a word about it. They knew that Stonewhisper knew what they meant by that smile. That’s what mattered most.
    The nursery was never empty, however. As kits left to become apprentices, more expectant parents moved in. The first was Peachfur, who was expecting her mate, Hemlockfang’s, kits. The other expecting mother was Stormfire. Stormfire was Shadowfeather’s elder sister, though he was never really close with her. She was the only sibling he had that did not carry Snakeheart’s blood, which only gave him more reason to avoid her. But when she gave birth to her four daughters… he couldn’t help but peek in to see them. And he felt his heart melt as she introduced them: Swallowkit, Monarchkit, Skipperkit, and Bluekit. They all had her tortoiseshell patterns, though Monarchkit looked quite out of the ordinary compared to the rest. Regardless, they were beautiful. Shadowfeather offered her a soft congratulations before leaving her to rest.
    He didn't have much time to think about his sister and her daughters, though. Just moons before she had given birth, something shocking had occurred; Crystal Falls had been attacked. And it hadn't been attacked by any normal predators or enemies--it was attacked by Dark Forest cats. Now, Shadowfeather didn't know much about the Dark Forest save for what Sleetpuddle told others. It was essentially where cats who died and were deemed evil or bad by StarClan went. He kind of figured his father had gone there, but he never expected Snakeheart to make another appearance again. Yewberry had returned to came shaken, and when questioned, he tried to explain what happened. Snakeheart and another cat by the name of Drakefeather came out from the water of Crystal Falls. Unprovoked, they attacked the medicine cats. Drakefeather successfully killed Waverose and threw Laurelpaw, HailClan's medicine cat apprentice, into the water. Meanwhile, Yewberry was occupied with Snakeheart. And based on Yewberry's face as he said the tom's name, Shadowfeather can guess what happened. He knew. He knew the secret. Shadowfeather couldn't help but glance over at Irisdawn, but Yewberry's words brought him back. In the tussle, Icefang, a MarshClan warrior that had accompanied his medicine cats, killed Drakefeather. Before he could do anymore to help though, Snakeheart had thrown a rock at his head and killed him. Then, he disappeared into the water again, leaving as quickly as he had come.
    Shadowfeather couldn't believe their ears. Their father was back and was only causing more trouble. He told them that it was for the good of EmberClan that he acted. Then what was this? This only damaged them! Not just EmberClan, but all of the clans. Crystal Falls was destroyed by his deeds, and not it was deemed unsafe to go to for anyone. How would they contact StarClan now? Did StarClan know that this had all happened? Shadowfeather trembled at the idea, and they wondered if everyone would start talking about Snakeheart again. Or about them. Before it could begin, Shadowfeather escaped camp to be alone. They ran, like they always did.
    It took a lot of swimming and deep breaths for him to calm down again. Though, if he was being honest, he wasn't sure he could ever be calm knowing about these events. Did this mean that Snakeheart truly was watching over him? The thought caused a shiver to go down his spine. He couldn't think about it, but yet at the same time, it almost brought peace to his mind. It was up until this point that he still missed Snakeheart, and now, that feeling was void. Was it because he knew Snakeheart was still out there, or was it because what Snakeheart had done truly was evil? He couldn't make much sense of it, but he felt lighter than he had in moons as he returned to camp. He only hoped that this situation would eventually blow over and they could return to their regular days like that had when Blizzardfang died.
    The kits kept coming and the nursery was filled to the brim. Peachfur had given birth to her litter of six just before Stormfire. And it wasn’t even a moon after Stormfire’s daughters were born did Cinderwhisper and Addersong announce that they, too, were expecting kits. Shadowfeather couldn’t say he was surprised, though he was amused. Just with how long it took those two to get together, it was about time they had kits. Shadowfeather couldn’t wait to meet those kits, Cinderwhisper being one of the few cats he felt he could still openly talk to.
    But he wouldn’t have much time to do so. Another large number of kits became apprentices, including Cricketstorm and Hootsong’s. Among them, Yewberry chose the next medicine cat apprentice, that being Briarpaw. And also among them, Shadowfeather would be given his first–and only–apprentice. She was a small apprentice by the name of Hillpaw. She was, admittedly, a bit more outgoing than Shadowfeather. Not by much, but enough that he could only laugh nervously when she got into her antics. Still, she was willing to learn and was as curious as Shadowfeather often was, and it allowed them to get on well. He found himself enjoying being a mentor, learning new things even at his age as he taught Hillpaw. He found it would be good for him as teaching her got his mind off of the many issues weighing him down, and he finally had someone to keep him company without knowing who he really was.
    The weather, however, made training a new apprentice difficult. Not only that, but it made everything difficult. Shadowfeather was already worried about Tigerfrost, who noticeably was struggling to return to his duties after staying in the nursery for six moons with his kits. And now the entire clan was beginning to struggle as prey became difficult to find. Leafbare was early, it seemed, as the lake froze quickly and snow was constantly falling. There were times where the clan was confined to the camp, and Shadowfeather didn’t know how to train Hillpaw in hunting in these conditions. He could only hope the weather would improve towards the ending moons of her training so that he could squeeze some swimming and fishing in there, but for now, he would have to focus on her battle skills, which he himself was quite bad at.
    But fighting would not help the lack of prey. Cats were already feeling the hunger set in, and early on, Owlfeather, a permanent queen, had died of starvation. His death had the clan abuzz with worry. What was going to happen to them all? There had never been a leafbare this bad; even the last leafbare, which was plagued by the greencough, still had enough prey to go around. Shadowfeather was also worried, but they tried not to think about it. Diving into Hillpaw’s training helped them keep their mind off it for a bit, but as their own belly began to growl, and they heard the complaints of their clanmates, they truly wondered if they would all be okay by the end of leafbare.
    Appletail became a mentor to another apprentice–this time to a young tom by the name of Timberpaw. He was an odd cat, having patches of fur and bald spots in other places. Shadowfeather wondered how he was doing in these cold climates. However, they took this opportunity to try and reconnect with Appletail. They hesitantly would ask their old friend if they wanted to train Hillpaw and Timberpaw together. They feared that Appletail would say no, that they were hurt by Shadowfeather for abandoning them, that they had moved on. But they were so enthusiastic when they said yes that Shadowfeather’s heart swelled with an unfamiliar feeling. It had been a long time since they smiled so genuinely, but their muzzle truly hurt as they did. Things seemed to be looking up for them, if just a little bit, and they found themselves looking forward to training sessions even more as they envisioned spending time with Appletail once again.
    And then Tigerfrost died. He had gone out with his kits on an outing, and they had encountered a hungry fox. Tigerfrost, in a desperate attempt to save his kits, put himself between them and the fox, fighting against it. He seemed to have won, but at a high cost. He had been fatally wounded, and he managed to get his kits back to camp safely before he collapsed in camp and succumbed to his wounds. Shadowfeather had walked out of the warriors den’ just before he took his last breath, and they found their own breath hitched in their throat. As Reedstar called for the clan to gather, Shadowfeather could only see Tigerfrost as they stumbled over. They found themselves falling beside their uncle, pressing their nose into his fur in heavy grief. It was all too soon–too soon. Snakeheart had come back, and now Tigerfrost was gone. What was Shadowfeather supposed to feel anymore? They didn’t know anymore.
    They didn’t move until someone nudged them away. By the time they finally looked up, they realized that the day had passed and it was time for Tigerfrost to be buried. They didn’t want to leave him, but hesitantly, shakily, they got up and stepped away. They couldn’t look; they were able to watch every other cat they lost get taken away from them, but not this time. They only shook their head violently before turning away to hide away in the warriors’ den.
    They remained in their nest for some time. This time, they had less reason to get up than they did when Snakeheart died. Food was difficult to come by, and as Cinderwhisper gave birth to her kits and the nursery became fuller than ever, Shadowfeather felt less worthy of the fresh-kill than the ones that really needed it. It seemed he wasn’t the only one that thought this way, because when he finally began to come back again and rejoin his clan, he learned that Drizzlesong had died of starvation. He wondered if she and Sleetpuddle ever managed to make up, or if she got to meet her grandchildren. He didn’t know, and he wasn’t sure he cared. He was not a part of their lives, just as he didn’t seem to be a part of anyone’s.
    The weather continued to get to their clan in the worst ways possible. While Shadowfeather only focused on training Hillpaw, others would find themselves struggling. Froststream was amongst the others that died of starvation, while Cricketstorm’s daughter, Hyacinthpaw, drowned when the ice broke underneath her. Apparently, she was Monarchkit’s best friend, so he could see how it affected his young niece. But Shadowfeather didn’t know how to comfort her–he couldn’t even comfort himself. He only went about his days as bleakly as he could, not even noticing as he, too, got thinner.
    He tried to join hunting parties so as to help his clan. It hardly made many differences, but sometimes, he wished he never went on them. One such hunting party would be his last. He was joined by his half-sisters, Hollyblossom and Mintbreeze, as well as Appletail and Timberpaw. Ganderslash and Petaldrift were there with them, too. Any normal cat would be thrilled to be surrounded by so many cats they loved. But Shadowfeather only felt terrible discomfort. He wanted to flee the moment they left, but he tried to hold his head high instead as they set out for hunting. But they never found prey. No, they found much worse.
    As they searched, the party heard sickening sounds of growling, hissing, and fighting. Accompanying it was a terrible smell of blood. The party stopped looking for prey and began to, cautiously, look for the cats in danger. Shadowfeather was among the first to find them, and his heart dropped. He saw the coyotes first, and then he saw two smaller figures–cats–trying to defend themselves against the coyotes. There was only one EmberClan patrol that was out other than their party, and that was Irisdawn, Stonewhisper, and Goosepaw. This narrowed down who those cats were, except for one thing–one of the cats was missing.
    Shadowfeather felt fear fill their body as their legs trembled. They didn’t wait for the rest of the party as they made a run for the fight. They wasted no time jumping onto the coyote that Stonewhisper was fighting, sinking their teeth into its neck. Shadowfeather was not one for violence, but this was for their brother. They could not fail this. The other cats in his party had joined in, and hearing Ganderslash’s scream, Shadowfeather could painfully figure out what had happened to Goosepaw. But they couldn’t mull on that; Stonewhisper was in danger.
    Shadowfeather had never killed anything other than prey, so he doubted the death of the coyote when it collapsed. But as he hesitantly let it go, he saw it was no longer breathing. And, much to his horror, he realized the coyote had fallen onto Stonewhisper. He cried out his brother’s name and was quick to scramble off the coyote, turning to push. However, despite his height, he was thin and quite frail, especially given his hunger. He couldn’t do much on his own, but as a cat came over to help him, the coyote was pushed off just enough to free Stonewhisper. Immediately, Shadowfeather abandoned the coyote to tend to Stonewhisper, desperately pressing on his brother’s wounds. He begged for Stonewhisper to keep his eyes open and to breathe, but as he glanced over to the side, Shadowfeather went his own vision falter. The other coyotes had fled, but Irisdawn laid beside Stonewhisper, in just as terrible of a condition.
    As Shadowfeather’s paws stained red with blood, he became terribly reminded of Snakeheart’s death. He remembered his helplessness, his inability to save his father. And it was happening all over again. Worse, it was his fault this happened. The coyote never would have died and fallen onto Stonewhisper if it wasn’t for him. He begged Stonewhisper to stay with him while the others focused on Irisdawn. Hollyblossom mentioned Yewberry, and Shadowfeather shakily agreed. Yewberry could help them. Someone needed to go get him. But before any of them could take a step forward… Irisdawn was gone.
    Shadowfeather tried desperately not to think about his step-mother’s motionless body beside them. They tried desperately to focus on Stonewhisper, pressing against his wounds as best he could. But Stonewhisper began to talk, and he spoke terrible words, and then he went quiet. Shadowfeather hadn’t realized what had happened until they finally glanced over to see that Stonewhisper’s eyes had gone bleak. His chest no longer rose and fell, and whatever Shadowfeather was doing was useless.
    Shadowfeather found his body shaking as he backed away slowly from the scene. He stared in horror at the bodies of his step-mother and brother and… and he couldn’t be there. He felt his heart thumping in his chest as his mind went blank. He wasn’t thinking anymore as he turned and pushed through his clanmates. And he ran. He didn’t know where he was running to, but he was running. He heard faint calls behind him, but they didn’t register in his mind. He just needed to run.
    It wasn’t until he reached the border that he finally slowed to a stop. Shadowfeather was out of breath, but as he looked around frantically, he momentarily felt lost. He stared across the border; what he looked at was unmarked territory. It was Misty Mountain, which HailClan tended to use for hunting. But it was bright with snow and void of any signs of life. At least, right now it was. Shadowfeather took a step, but then he stopped. He shook his head and began to pace. He couldn’t figure out if he was trying to talk himself out of it, or if he was talking himself into it. Whatever it was, he seemed to have come to a decision as he turned back to the border and took that step again. Before he could, though, a voice crying his name stopped him.
    It was Hollyblossom. She begged him to come home. She said that they needed to be a family now more than ever and that they needed him. Shadowfeather couldn’t agree. He came up with every excuse as to why he didn’t need to be there: Stonewhisper died because of him, their family didn’t need him, Appletail would make new friends, Shadowfeather was just a hindrance. Hollyblossom disagreed, but something about her saying she’d be there for him had him snap. How could he rely on someone that didn’t know their own father? Yet… he could see the hurt in her eyes, and Shadowfeather instantly felt terrible. He didn’t mean to yell at her. He didn’t mean to hurt her… but he did. It was all the more reason he didn’t belong there.
    But he decided he would do something that no one else could. He was hesitant at first, wondering if he should follow through with what he started, but he did. He confessed to Hollyblossom about her heritage, ultimately telling her how Snakeheart was her father. He told her not to let it burden her like it had him, and he hoped that she would be able to live the life that he couldn’t. The information seemed to stun her, and she never responded to him. Taking this opportunity, Shadowfeather once again turned to Misty Mountain. He didn’t hesitate this time–he was sure about his decision. He was confident in his gait as he took the final step over the border and disappeared into Misty Mountain’s forest.

roguehood [ 32 moons - present ] >
    Shadowfeather had never been out of EmberClan territory before, but something about being in Misty Mountain felt… relieving. He was alone, and he was free. It was like a breath of fresh air. And it was true; no cat seemed to have stepped foot in Misty Mountain for some time. He recalled hearing something from a gathering about an avalanche that HailClan had here a couple of moons ago, and he wondered if that’s why they had avoided Misty Mountain. That would make sense, and given Shadowfeather didn’t know much about avalanches, he chose to stay at the base of the mountain rather than climb it.
    Before doing anything else, they found a place for them to rest. They picked somewhere away from the borders, towards the other side of the mountain. It was a small cave on the side of the mountain, and while it wasn’t quite warm like the warriors’ den in EmberClan was, it wasn’t unhomely. Shadowfeather struggled to find any moss for a nest, so their small nest was still quite thin, and they knew they would be sleeping more on a stone ground than soft moss. But it would get better as the weather improved–they were sure of it.
    Hunting when you’re alone was significantly easier than thinking for an entire clan. Shadowfeather didn’t have to worry about bringing prey back to a camp for others, though he admittedly felt guilty as he was able to eat when many of his old clanmates likely continued to starve. He still said his thanks to StarClan, however, as he caught his prey. That day, he had the first good meal he had in moons, and he found himself sleeping that day better than he had in seasons. Perhaps… being alone wouldn’t be so bad.
    That cave remained their home for some time. Shadowfeather became increasingly thankful as they watched the snow around them melt more. Perhaps they could explore Misty Mountain more with the concern of avalanches growing smaller? Then again… they could encounter HailClan cats. They couldn’t chase them off, what with Misty Mountain not officially being a part of their territory. Though they still weren’t sure they wanted to see any clan cats.
    What they loved the most about the warm weather, however, was the ability to swim again. They trekked away from EmberClan’s border, quite far to the other side of Crystal Lake, and they found themselves swimming for an entire day. It even rained on them, but they didn’t care. They were in a safe place there, in the water. From a distance, they thought they could see EmberClan’s camp. They wondered how their family was, or Appletail, or Reedstar, or anyone really. But they didn’t have the heart to go back and check on them. They wondered if they would even be welcomed anymore. It didn’t matter, though; they were a rogue now, and that was the fate they had decided.
    Their strength quickly returned with the return of prey, and Shadowfeather had never felt better. With their newfound strength, they decided to take a tour around the lake. They had always been curious about what was on the other side, often looking across the lake in wonder of whether they could see the land over there. Now was their chance to finally go check it out. The trek would end up taking them a couple of days to actually get there, though. They would find places to make makeshift camps. They would catch prey, swim for a bit, and then continue on. At night, they found themselves watching the stars quite often. When they couldn’t sleep, stargazing would calm them down just enough to lull themselves into peaceful dreams. That was another thing they had yet to experience until leaving EmberClan–peaceful sleep. They never felt they could truly relax around their clanmates, even with Snakeheart gone, and they were the type to sleep with one eye open. Now, they felt less inclined to do so, even though they were more susceptible to the weather and predators. They felt… safe.
    Shadowfeather made it to the other side of the lake. At least, they had to assume it was the other side. No matter how far they stretched their neck, they couldn’t see the familiar cave of EmberClan’s camp. It was as if the lake stretched on for forever; when they were younger, they thought it did. They thought there was no end to it, but Snow-whisker told them that that’s the ocean, not a lake. Shadowfeather wondered since then what the ocean looked like, but they didn’t know where to go or how to find it. Besides, as comfortable as they were now, they still weren’t prepared to stray very far from home.
    He explored the area for a while. Here, the prey wasn’t afraid of him, as it did not seem to fully comprehend that he was a threat to them. Of course, the prey was still skittish, but there were times that Shadowfeather would wake up to find a mouse hiding under his fur, as if it was a sanctuary. He let that mouse go, only for him to go out and find something else to hunt. Was that counterproductive? Perhaps. But it was amusing to see the carefree world of this space, untouched by the clans. It had a different atmosphere to it that Shadowfeather felt comfortable in. He would have stayed there forever if he could, but despite not being a clan cat anymore, the call from home still drove him to eventually make his return.
    He stopped significantly less on the trek back, so by the time he returned to his little cave in Misty Mountain, it felt like no time had passed. That isn’t to say it hasn’t though; Shadowfeather tracked time with the moon. He would gaze at it longingly sometimes, wondering if the clan cats were going to gatherings on the full moon, or if the medicine cats had started back up their half-moon meetings at Crystal Falls. He wondered if Hillpaw completed her training and has become a warrior; the same could be said for Timberpaw. How was Appletail? Was his family okay? No matter how much he tried to distance himself from his clan, Shadowfeather always thought back to his loved ones, and a melancholic sigh would escape their lips. But he reminded himself that they all looked at the same moon and stars, and though they may not be close, they would remain connected through the things that they see every day.
    Shadowfeather began noticing some strange things happening within the borders after being gone for a few moons. He couldn’t quite put his paw on it, but whenever he was close to the borders, he felt a tension that emanated from both HailClan and EmberClan. He wondered what was going on, until he saw a trace of a cat. The cat had been leaving the borders, and Shadowfeather, curious about this cat, tried to follow them. But perhaps the cat knew that he was following them, but it not only began to run, but it instantly vanished in the air. Shadowfeather was stunned. He was quick to go investigate where the cat had disappeared, but he could not find a trace of the cat anywhere. No scent, no tracks, and no cat. Was that a ghost? He reminded himself about how Snakeheart had come back from the dead to haunt the clans, but it seemed like he was not the only one. But why were they here?
    Shadowfeather tried to forget what they saw, wondering if perhaps they were just going crazy from being alone. Whatever it was, it gave Shadowfeather a new reason to stay away from the clans. They couldn’t figure out that, if that was a ghost, was it friendly or not? Did the clans know about these ghosts? Who knew, but Shadowfeather wouldn’t be the one to tell them. They would probably just think that he was crazy, given he had already forsaken the clans. The clans were strong. They would be alright.
    But nothing could save the clans from natural disasters. Shadowfeather was peacefully sleeping in his cave when the ground began to quake. They were startled awake by the shaking, and then he saw breakage in the walls of the cave. His heart dropped–the cave was going to collapse. They didn’t wait to scramble to their paws and race out of the cave. They had left just in the nick of time, because when they stopped to look back, the cave’s entrance had shattered and caved in. Shadowfeather watched it in disbelief. The rumbling didn’t stop though, and boulders and rocks began to fall from Misty Mountain with the shaking. Shadowfeather couldn’t stay there. They turned around and continued to run just along HailClan’s border.
    By the time they came to the edge of the dirtpath, the ground had stopped shaking. Shadowfeather slowed to a stop, and as they began to tremble, they wondered if it was the earth again, or if it was just them. They later realized it was them. What in StarClan’s name was that? They had never experienced something quite like it, and it was terrifying! As the fear began to evaporate, concern replaced it. Were the clans okay? Shadowfeather found themselves glancing over the border, looking for any signs of life. It was quiet, though, and they couldn’t decide if that was good or bad. The clans had not experienced anything quite like this, either, right? How did they handle it? They prayed that everyone was okay, but as they took a hesitant step towards the borders, they stopped. No, they couldn’t keep going back and forth on this. They made their decision, and they must stick to it. They turned away from the borders and, with a deep breath, they kept walking.
    They found themselves in the Bristling Forest. It was quite dense, unlike the spacious forest and ground that Shadowfeather was used to in EmberClan’s territory. But it wasn’t unwelcoming. The tight trees and the grass brushing up their legs had them tingling with comfort. It was as if the forest was pulling them in, so they complied, walking deeper into the forest. This would end up being Shadowfeather’s new home.
    Shadowfeather looked for a new place to stay before they did anything else. They came across a spacious den, and though it had the stink of a fox, the scent was faint. It seemed as if the fox had not been there for a long time. Shadowfeather decided to try and make it their home. They kicked out any of the moss or dried grass that still had the fox’s scent on it before going out to search for some fresher bedding. They also tried to use moss to cover the opening of the den, hoping it could hide the den a bit more than it previously was. Though, Shadowfeather quickly realized that with their pelt, nothing would likely see him in the shadows of the den, anyway. Still, it was better to be safe than sorry.
    They temporarily left the Bristling Forest to look for more bedding and some herbs that they could use. During their time as a rogue, Shadowfeather had tried to develop some herbal knowledge for emergencies. Given their cautious nature, they had yet to use it, but it was still beneficial. Were they using the herbs correctly? Perhaps not, but it seemed to work in the ways they needed it. Some herbs they would chew would give them more strength, or when he had a bellyache, he was able to subdue it with another poultice. It was simple knowledge compared to what he had seen the medicine cats do, but it served its purpose well.
    They were shocked to come eye-to-eye to some cats, however. Just outside of the Bristling Forest, they noticed a patrol of HailClan cats walking the border. They had stopped to look at him, too, and Shadowfeather panicked. He hadn’t even finished collecting what he wanted, but that no longer mattered. He quickly turned tail and raced back to the Bristling Forest. He didn’t stop until he returned to his den, where he set down his herbs and moss and tried to catch his breath. Did they recognize him? Some of them looked to be the cats that stayed in EmberClan. He was never an important figure in EmberClan, but… he was the one to bring back Snakeheart’s body. That’s significant enough. But… no, they didn’t recognize him. They would have called out to him. He was sure of it.
    The idea of being recognized only continued to worry him, however. He wondered if that patrol reported it to Salmonstar. If they did, he wondered if Salmonstar would have told Reedstar about spotting him. He shook his head. He couldn’t be seen. Not anymore. Except he needed to leave the Bristling Forest to get the herbs he knew; the forest didn’t offer the same ones as out there by Misty Mountain. He would need to go back, but he didn’t want to be recognized. He glanced down at the moss for a moment and paused. That’s right. Cats in other places would use mud or leaves or the like to camouflage themselves within the undergrowth. Could Shadowfeather pull that off, too? Well, better late than never to try.
    The moss he was going to use to add to his bedding and coverage was stretched out delicately, and when it was large enough to fit the small of his back, Shadowfeather slipped himself under. The coat of moss was cool on his back, and it sent chills down his spine. He had stretched it a bit longer than he expected, because the moss hung over his head and covered his eyes. He could just barely see through the moss, but it was enough. He took a look at himself, examining the moss’s coverage. It hung in varying degrees down his body, and it touched the base of his tail. His tail stature made it a bit odd-looking, but he thought this could work. There was only one way to find out.
    The next day, Shadowfeather set back out to look for the herbs he couldn’t collect. He was nervous, his eyes flitting to and from as he constantly glanced back at the HailClan border. He had collected a few herbs when the fresh scent of an incoming patrol caught his nose. Shadowfeather stiffened, and he went to hide amongst the mossy rocks. He watched the patrol carefully; they had come so close to the border that he felt like he could touch them. They seemed confused at first, perhaps catching his scent, but it must have been shrouded under the moss, because when they questioned each other about it, no one could quite pick up what it was. After searching for a bit, they eventually shrugged it off as a passing rogue and continued on. Shadowfeather remained quiet for some time, holding his breath as they eventually disappeared in the horizon. Then, he released it in a deep sigh. It worked! The camouflage worked! He silently thanked StarClan for this wisdom, and from then on, Shadowfeather never took off his cloak of moss.
    They went about life as normal again, as if the earthquake never occurred. Being on another side of the territories, Shadowfeather explored the Bristling Forest for some time before deciding to check out the river nearby. The river was connected to Crystal Falls, which Shadowfeather blatantly avoided. They had begun to hear noises there, which they later realized was the clan cats investigating and attempting to repair the Crystal Falls. They only looked in once, when the clan cats were not there, and they winced. The place was a disaster. The Dark Forest cats truly did quite a number on it. The river was far more peaceful though. Its currents had nothing against Shadowfeather whenever they swam in it. The only time they felt uncomfortable swimming in it was when the winds picked up, but the river otherwise gave him little issues.
    Though, there was one time where they accidentally let the current take them to the lake. By the time they came back to reality, Shadowfeather panicked when they realized they were in the heart of EmberClan and MarshClan’s border, within Crystal Inlet. Suddenly, they didn’t feel safe anymore. The current wouldn’t take them back home, so they scrambled out of the water on neutral territory, just near Hope Bridge. They didn’t have time to dry themselves and properly groom their fur back–they needed to get out of here. They still respected the clans, racing instead between EmberClan and HailClan’s border to get back to Misty Mountain rather than through HailClan’s territory straight back to home. And they didn’t stop once they were out of clan territories; they kept running until they were back in the Bristling Forest. It must have looked strange, a sodden ball of fur and moss running through the undergrowth. Shadowfeather hadn’t even thought about that. Their mind was only on one thing, and that was to escape.
    By the time they were back in their den, Shadowfeather was completely out of breath. They remained around their den for some time, only going out to gather herbs or moss and catch prey. They even stayed away from the river for a bit. They were sad that they couldn’t swim, but it was better than being seen or caught. They grew comfortable in their space again, and slowly, their panic and fears began to disappear again. They would be okay here–they had to be okay.
    They had noticed the prey becoming a bit more skittish than usual. Usually, when they saw Shadowfeather, they ignored him and went about their day. Now, they jumped at the sight of him and ran. Although he hunted prey, he never took more than he needed, so something else was hunting them. Something else was in the Bristling Forest. Shadowfeather decided he would go investigate. It was not often that he would take on a sleuth persona, but something changing in the Bristling Forest was as much his concern as the prey’s.
    At first, Shadowfeather found nothing. It was quiet save the occasional bird or squeak of a mouse. He heard a cry of frustration, but when he went to check it out, whoever made the noise was gone. But he did catch a scent. It was unfamiliar, but it was definitely a cat, and it had a faint trace of twolegs. Were twolegs here? He glanced in the direction that the scent was stronger, but he figured he should see where the stranger came from. Shadowfeather turned and began to follow the scent in the opposite direction. Before he could find the end, he heard laughter and chatter. Shadowfeather hid in the undergrowth, letting his cloak cover him among the other moss-covered rocks. He watched from a distance, though he wasn’t expecting what he found.
    In front of them, they spotted two young kits. They couldn’t have been more than two moons old. Two tortoiseshells, and they didn’t look to be in the best of conditions. Yet one of them seemed quite playful, jumping at her sister’s tail and trying to get her to play. The other, meanwhile, seemed a bit less inclined, but would eventually retaliate in a similarly playful manner. Despite their situation, they seemed relatively happy.
    Shadowfeather realized these kits were of no danger. He couldn’t see them being the reason for scaring the prey, but he wondered if perhaps their parents were the ones doing it. Were they bad hunters? Maybe that’s why the kits looked so skinny and the prey was so fearful. Other cats were hunting them, and they were hunting them poorly. Shadowfeather backed away for a moment and looked around. He glanced back at the two kits before parting, if for a moment. He managed to find a fat vole in the cracks of a boulder, and after successfully capturing and killing it, he made his way back to the clearing with the kits. He needed to help them. It didn’t matter if they were strangers–they were kits. Maybe he could help the parents learn to hunt, too.
    Shadowfeather came out of the undergrowth, and the two she-kits looked at them in both fascination and fear. Well, more like the playful one was in fascination and the other was fearful. She stepped up to defend her sister, in which Shadowfeather gave her sympathy. It reminded him of Stonewhisper and him when they were kits. He set the prey down as a peace offering, nudging it closer to them. He asked them if they were alright and where their parents were. Neither of them really replied; rather, the fawn-colored she-kit dove for the vole and was quick to tear a piece off. She then offered it to her sister, who hesitantly took a bite. That one bite seemed to open her up, though, because then they were both devouring the vole. Shadowfeather only watched them for a moment with an awkward smile. At this rate, he was going to need something else. He left them there for a moment with their fresh-kill while he went back to look for some more. He managed to catch another vole and a squirrel, which was nothing but a feat for the cat that usually caught fish.
    They returned to the makeshift camp of these kits, where they set the prey down and watched them calmly. Shadowfeather was never quite good with kits, but then again, they never had direct interactions with them. The closest they got to kits was Stormfire’s daughters. As the she-kits began to slow down eating, Shadowfeather tried asking them the same question. The fawn she-kit answered quite bluntly, saying that they were alone, save for their brother. Their father had disappeared a few days ago, and they were trying to live out there on their own. This raised alarm in Shadowfeather. Was their father okay? Surely he wouldn’t leave them alone like this. But if he did, that could probably only mean one thing: he wasn’t alive anymore.
    Before Shadowfeather could ask them anything else, a cry of alarm sounded behind him. He turned to see another young kit–it was an apricot-colored tom. This must be the brother she had mentioned. He raced over to stand in front of his sisters, staring up at Shadowfeather defiantly. He began a ramble about how they couldn’t trust strangers, all while never taking his gaze off of Shadowfeather. Shadowfeather waited patiently, allowing the tom to get out everything. He couldn’t really blame the young kit; if he had grown up in unfamiliar territory and lost his parents, he wouldn’t trust strangers either. But then the young tom’s stomach growled, and Shadowfeather had to hold back a laugh. Rather, he smiled and offered the vole to the tom, telling him that he was not his enemy. It took a moment, but as the tom’s belly growled again, he seemed to give in and began to eat the vole, all while stealing more judging glances at Shadowfeather.
    He introduced himself to the kits, providing them with his name. The kits only glanced between each other, as if something like a name was foreign to them. He asked them more about their situation, and the fawn-colored tortoiseshell responded optimistically. He learned that the kits were born to a kittypet, and their mother had passed them off to their father after the twolegs discovered them. The father had brought them here to the Bristling Forest to be raised, but he disappeared not long after doing so. As she stated previously, the kits had been alone for a bit now. The tom-kit had tried to hunt for them, but apparently, it was a lot harder than he thought. Shadowfeather felt terrible for his previous thoughts; it was a kit trying to hunt, not their parents. Of course the prey was scared.
    Shadowfeather offered for the kits to stay with him. He had a far better den in the form of his old fox den than what they had now. They were far more susceptible to danger here, and he worried about them being alone. The fawn-colored she-kit seemed excited, but her brother and sister pulled her back in for them to discuss it. Shadowfeather waited patiently. If they didn’t want his help, he wouldn’t pressure them. He would maybe still watch over them from a distance, help them get food, the like. But he was thankful when they turned back around and agreed to let him stay with them.
    The first thing Shadowfeather was curious about was how to address the kits. He asked for their names, and he saw them give each other that same, awkward glance. When they turned back to him, the tom-kit said he didn’t have any. Shadowfeather was astonished. They went on to say that neither of their parents gave them names, but their mother would apparently use adjectives to address them, like calling her son Gold, or the fawn-colored she-kit Curly. Shadowfeather’s nose crinkled a bit at this. How could a mother go without properly naming her kits? Shadowfeather couldn’t make sense of it, but he wasn’t going to be like her and simply address them by their looks. They deserved their own identities. Shadowfeather told them to give him a couple of days and they would all figure out new names for them.
    In the meantime, Shadowfeather showed them back to their den. They helped the kits get comfortable in a new, moss-threaded nest specifically for the kits. It was strange, sleeping with other cats in their den that night. Yet, it wasn’t unwelcomed. Something about having other entities in their vicinity relaxed Shadowfeather, and they felt like they had slept better than ever. They woke up before the kits, and they went out to hunt for the four of them. They remembered the squirrel from the other day, but when they went to check on it, it was gone. Perhaps another predator got it. Oh well. Hunting was of little problem, especially as the prey started to calm down again without the frantic kit on their tails. They brought the prey they caught back, where the kits had begun to slowly wake up. They seemed confused at first about where they were, but things seemed to click back into place as they ate the prey Shadowfeather provided them. Already, they were looking better than before. Shadowfeather taught them how to groom that day, not wanting to invade their space more than they already were by grooming them. The tom-kit and apricot tortoiseshell picked up on it quickly, but the fawn-colored tortoiseshell only complained as her long fur became increasingly more difficult to handle. Shadowfeather felt sympathy towards her, to the point that they gave her a bit of extra care just to get her fur looking decent.
    This was how the first few days went. And during those days, Shadowfeather spent time with each kit individually–or tried, because the tom-kit still didn’t trust him–and got to know them one-on-one. He was trying to come up with some ideas for names. He’s never had to name something before… Was it this hard when Snow-whisker came up with his name? Then, he remembered that he was named after Shadowrunner, not just some off-handed name. The same could be said for Smokefeather and Stonewhisper. They were all named after notable cats from Snow-whisker’s life. So then… could Shadowfeather do that, too?
    It would be strange, given the kits didn’t know the cats. But then again, Shadowfeather never knew Shadowrunner. As he decided to go through with this idea, the names came flooding in. Eventually, he found himself approaching the kits and proposing ideas for their names. He started with the fawn-colored she-kit, who seemed eager to get a name. He gave the options of Smoke, Iris, and Storm. They, of course, were after Shadowfeather’s sister Smokefeather and Stormfire, and his step-mother, Irisdawn. The she-kit’s eyes sparkled with each name, and she commented on how Iris was so pretty. She begged for that to be her name, and he found himself laughing. He gave her the choice, so if that’s what she liked, that’s what her name would be.
    He moved on to the other she-kit. For her, he gave the options of Hill, Cinder, and Berry. Hill was for his previous apprentice, Hillpaw; Cinder was for his beloved mentor, Cinderwhisper; and Berry was for his brother, Berryshine, though the she-kit was female. She seemed curious by them all, but ultimately, she seemed quite set on the option of Cinder. Shadowfeather nodded approvingly–a very fine choice.
    Finally, he turned to the tom-kit. He left him for last, not because he felt less closer to him, but because he felt that the tom-kit was more important. He wanted to show the tom that it was okay to get a name, and by giving his sisters names first, he could see that it would all fit in. So, Shadowfeather gave him his suggestions: Reed, Tiger, and Apple. Reed was, of course, for Reedstar; though Shadowfeather was never quite close to Reedstar, he looked up to them a lot and felt they shared a connection that day Tigerfrost passed away. Tiger was for Tigerfrost, his uncle, who helped him through a lot of his conflicts and uneasiness as a kit. And finally, Apple was for Appletail, his beloved friend who he missed everyday dearly. If he spoke truthfully, these names meant more to him than any of the others, so the tom’s decision would be big despite the tom really knowing it. Yet, he contemplated it for a long moment, before he decidedly chose Reed. Shadowfeather smiled and told him he picked well.
    Though, when the kits asked about the meanings of their names, Shadowfeather faltered a bit. How was he supposed to tell them they were all after his loved ones? He didn’t want to put that burden on them–not like the burden he felt of living up to Shadowrunner’s legacy. So he gave them basic reasons, which didn’t seem so far fetched the more they thought about it. And thankfully, the kits took those explanations and moved on. With their new names, the four of them were beginning to feel more like a family.
    Days turned to moons, and the kits looked like they had never seen a bad day in their lives again. They had all grown quite comfortable around Shadowfeather, so much so that Iris once slipped and called him father. Shadowfeather was stunned, and as she went to apologize, he told her it was alright. If she wanted to see him as a parent, he wouldn’t mind. He would not pressure the thought onto them, though Iris seemed pretty happy to openly call him father or nibi. Cinder and Reed didn’t pick up on it like she did, though. They saw him as their guardian, but outside of that, he was more like a mentor to them than anything else–or a big brother, as Cinder called him. This didn’t bother Shadowfeather; he had mentioned long ago that he wouldn’t replace their parents, and he stood by that decision. Though, as the kits began to sleep within the same nest as him, he grew more comfortable at the idea of their little family. Perhaps this wouldn’t be so bad.
    One night, Shadowfeather had been stargazing outside of the den. He was shocked to be met by the kits, who also could not sleep that night. Iris asked curiously what he was looking at, and Shadowfeather could only smile as he responded that he was watching StarClan. He motioned for the kits to join him, and as they all gathered around him, he looked back up at the sky. They were going to learn about the clans eventually, so perhaps now was the time. He told them about the clans; he talked about the four clans individually, and then he went into more detail about his life in EmberClan. He talked about StarClan, and the warrior code, and their values back in the clan. Iris curiously asked if this was why his name was so funny compared to theirs, and he said yes. Reed and Cinder continued asking questions, and Shadowfeather would answer honestly. He told them that, when they got older, perhaps they could go meet the clan cats. Perhaps they could go meet Shadowfeather’s family back in EmberClan, or they could create their own destinies. Yeah, that sounded good.
    Then again, Shadowfeather still didn’t know what was going on in the clans–even less than before, given his extended time in the Bristling Forest. For all he knew, maybe one of the clans was destroyed, or all of them were. After all, HailClan was close enough to ceasing existence. Who was to say it wouldn’t happen again? He didn’t know until one day, while out hunting, he heard cries and hissing from afar. Curious, Shadowfeather followed the noises. He stopped at just the edge of the forest, where he could just see Crystal Falls. There were cats there, some that he recognized as HailClan cats, others foreign to him. Dropletshine was there, too. What were they doing there?
    Crystal Falls looked even more of a disaster than the last time they had seen it. Boulders were everywhere in the clearing, and some cats seemed stuck under them. Did they fight with those unfamiliar cats? It didn’t seem like it as Salmonstar was trying to help one of the strangers push a boulder off another. But it was too late for that stranger; he was dead. That was enough for Shadowfeather to quickly turn tail and disappear. Whatever happened there, it was not their business. Still, they felt terrible not only for the injured HailClan cats, but the injured and deceased strangers. Who were they, though? They seemed friendly with Dropletshine, so they must be friends. But Shadowfeather couldn’t put his paw on it.
    He must have looked like he had seen a ghost that day, because the kits asked him if he was okay. Shadowfeather shook his head, trying to rid his mind of what he had just seen. As he looked down at the kits, he realized just how helpless they were. They were better off now, yes, now that they had him. But what would happen when they grew up? He needed to start thinking about their futures. So after telling the kits that he was fine, he suggested that he start teaching them how to hunt and fight. That seemed to get the kits to completely forget his forlorn look as they excitedly agreed.
    They weren’t quite apprentice-age, but that didn’t matter for rogues. It was just the four of them, and the kits needed to know how to protect and live for themselves should something happen to Shadowfeather. Or, worse, Shadowfeather came back to find them dead. That haunted thought led him to start with offensive and defensive training. He taught them first that if they couldn’t fight, or their enemy was far beyond their capabilities, then they should run. Reed seemed to hate that idea, but Shadowfeather told him that surviving was more important than honor. That seemed to quiet him. Battle training was quite difficult for Shadowfeather, though as he went through the lessons, it gradually came back to him. It was like he was training Hillpaw again back in the camp, when they had been snowed in. It was strange, but it was alright. He was content teaching the kits.
    They were much more enthusiastic about hunting, especially Reed. Shadowfeather began with land prey, like the mice and voles and squirrels that the kits were used to. But they squeezed in fishing, too, if more for their own sake; the kits had already begun learning basic swimming in the river when they caught Shadowfeather swimming, so it only seemed reasonable that they learned to catch fish, too.
    Training helped them bond more. Reed took to Shadowfeather the more that they trained together, and they found themselves giving Reed some one-on-one lessons often. It helped that Reed was so driven to protect his sisters, and it gave Shadowfeather a sense of peace knowing that Reed would be there for them. Iris and Shadowfeather would often stargaze or go swimming together, and they felt bonded to her in the oddest ways. Cinder was a nice in-between of her brother and sister; she enjoyed learning, but she also liked that time to relax and have fun. Shadowfeather enjoyed her company a lot, too. He loved all three of them as if they were his own kits, though he never pushed that on them. He was happy enough to have them there.
    The day that the kits reached six moons, Shadowfeather surprised them with a gift; the gift to leave Bristling Forest. They offered the idea that it was time the kits learn to explore the outside world and see what it has to offer outside of their comfort zone. They all seemed eager at the idea, though Shadowfeather reminded them that they would stay with them wherever they went. They agreed to those conditions–as he was sure they would–and Shadowfeather helped them prepare to leave the den. He watched with amusement as Reed covered himself in mud, while the she-cats circled each other outside impatiently for the other two. Shadowfeather took a deep breath as he, too, had to mentally prepare himself to leave Bristling Forest. He hadn’t left in moons… what has changed out there? Only the adventure would tell as he guided the kits’ first steps out of their comfort zone.