Profile
🍔🍟🌭🍕🥤
name: patrick "patti" catsup
age: 26
height: 5'9
gender: there is one, absolutely. [he/they/burg+ger/it]
sexuality: food fucker gay
species: edimal (cow + cheeseburger parasite)
birthday: april 15
occupation: food stall owner
personality: comedic, slobbish, friendly, dim, obnoxiously horny, unpredictable
likes:
・cooking fast food
・keeping everyone happy
・acting repulsive
・bugs
・shows for little kids
・large open fields
・bathrooms
・toilet humor
・playing rough
dislikes:
・pulled pork
・sudden movements
・explaining his jokes
・horror genre (but is fine with gore)
・repetition of noises
・seeing his boys get bullied
traits and trivia:
・his eye sockets lack any actual eyes after his food leech parasite, pickles, poked his eyes out. as such, the parasite fixed his biology to be able to see with french fry 'maggots', which live inside of his sockets and can be removed and placed anywhere to keep visuals on anything he needs to watch over.
・he communicates by saying 'muu', though he can speak perfect munchlish (universal edimal language) and english (universal human language). oddly enough, few can understand his 'muu's once they've gotten to know him well enough.
・he's known to hang out around the bathrooms of multiple eating establishments and supermarkets, either waiting for a 'customer', taking in the scents, or just to make himself look cool.
・he's exceptionally good at being fatherly. he can be trusted around children and keeps a very close eye on any around him, especially those that need cheering up. he's currently spent over $1000 on candy and toys trying to keep random strangers children calm.
・patti is known to give away free food at his food stall if you're in a low mood or if you tell him a really funny story.
・he carries two iron knuckles in his hoodie pocket and is not afraid to pull them out if he catches anyone harassing his boyfriends or threatening the lives of others.
・while he loves acting repulsive, he will gladly stop if anyone is too bothered by his behavior (unless they're k.c., in which he only ramps up his behavior until he gets yelled at).
・his family back on the edimal planet are full-on cow-shaped edimals, and he is only slightly upset about being born with an anthropomorphic body.
・he goes dumpster diving behind the wendy's every wednesday. why specifically wendy's? who knows.
・whenever he and his boyfriends are out on a trip he ALWAYS wants to stop at the tourist spots and rest stops. this can halt progress to their destination from 2 hours to whole days.
・while he's overtly raunchy and annoyingly horny at times, romantic interactions with him will leave him flustered and quiet.
・he's REALLY good at rhythm games and is on multiple high-ranked leaderboards on osu!, but generally sticks to playing crappy fnf mods.
・he collects photos of billboards and has multiple scrapbooks filled to the brim with billboards from his town and from road trips.
