Mel's Links
“Ew, dat Fat Guy is just disgoosting! He smells like hamburgers and freedom, just like those dang Americrudians! I ain’t gettin’ anywhere near dat guy! Dat Fat Guy!”
“Mel is a total narcissist, and I don’t usually use big words like that most of the time, but it’s completely true. For some reason he assumes I’m some kinda… ‘Americrudian’, whatever that means. I guess I look like some kinda species he knows?”
“Fig don’t understandment my superior intellect, he jus’ ain’t as cultured as I am. He assumes so much outta people, but I know someone right as I sees ‘em.”
“Wow, an actually xenophobic person. If it weren’t for him being so comically stupid and ignorant about literally everything, I’d think he’d be the worst one here. He’s only, like… the third worst.”
“Typical Americrud father figure. Always thinkin’ bout beer n’ food. Probably owns firearms or somethin’.”
“Mel is no nice to me. Me never mean to insult him, but he think me think me better than he.”
“She might have her hands with da blades, but they’re no match fer my spatula!”
“He somehow thinks he’s better than everyone who is smarter than him. I almost feel pity. Almost.”
“Ain’t no lady gonna tell me what to do! Mel makes his own life choices!”
“Impossible to work with. I have better luck asking Chicken to do something for me, because at least he tries to listen.”
“He sure is funny! Palm keeps tellin’ me I’m mis-in-terperetatin’ his jokes, but I think I know a Canadian classic like the back of my own palm! Ha! See? I jus’ made my own joke!”
“…I told him a joke about sandwiches one time, and he thought it was about hockey or something.”
“What a helpful lady! She told me about this thing where ya put your hand up to yer face, measure how dumb you are, and she slapped it n’ told me I passed! She’s told me loads more information stuff, too!”
“Jeheheh, what a gullible idiot. Mel will believe anything you tell him. Well, unless it conflicts with his dumb ‘Canadia’ world views.”
“Dis is the guy that got me all stuck up in here! And there ain’t another Canadian in sight! Why he takin’ me away from my peoples?”
“Wow, he is a lot worse than I thought he’d be. I really hope he won’t say anything to get my show canceled, because I do not share his views about him being the superior creature- because obviously I am the superior creature.”