Artelium's Links
Scout: "Move, Cyclops, move! Come on, come on, almost-
[Demoman wheels his wheelchair and Scout runs. They are making ground when the Scout gets hit by a rocket.]
[The Scout falls, grunting in pain. He then looks behind him to see rockets aiming at him.]
Scout: "Woah, who the FU-!" [He then gets hit by the three missiles. The Scout screams as the rockets fling him onto the Medic's glass wall. He faceplants and breaks the glass. One of Medic's doves looks at Scout. He speaks feebly.] "Medic.."
["Meet the Medic" text appears]
[The Scout falls slowly from the window, the camera then zooms out onto the RED Medic's surgery on the RED Heavy.]
Heavy: "[Laughing loudly.]"
Medic:"When the patient woke up, his skeleton is missing, and the Doctor was never heard from again!"
[Medic laughs loudly alone. Half a second later, Heavy laughs with him as he slaps his hand on a tray knocking away the tools on it.]
Medic: "Anyway, that's how I lost my medical license. [He chuckles, and a dove bursts out of Heavy's chest. He scolds the bird.] "Archimedes, no! It's filthy in there!" [He wipes his hand on his vest and looks at Heavy for a second, who looks a tad offended,] "Ugh, birds." [He chuckles and grabs the Heavy's heart.]
Medic: "Now, most hearts couldn't withstand this voltage, [He places the heart onto an Über heart attachment and moves toward his built in Medigun.] but I'm very certain your heart-"
[Heavy's heart explodes, catching the Medic off guard. One of the heart's remains knock Archimedes off their perch.]
Heavy: "What was noise?"
Medic: "The sound of progress my friend."
[Medic goes to his fridge as the crescendo of "A Little Heart to Heart" plays. The fridge contains a Sandvich, the RED Engineer's beer, and three hearts. The heart in the middle is labeled "Loch Ness Hamster." The one on the right is a "Mega Baboon."]
Medic: "Ja, Perfect!"
[Medic takes the "Mega Baboon," revealing a BLU Spy's head being connected to a electrical battery.]
BLU Spy Head: "Kill Me."
Medic: [Quietly.] "Later."
[Closes fridge.]
Medic: "Where was I? Ah, There we go..." [Sticks heart onto a voltage meter. Places it to where the Medigun is pointing and the heart beats faster and glows red.]
Medic: Come on, come on.
[The violin/string instrument in background gets faster in sync with the heart.]
Medic: "[Begins laughing evilly.]"
Heavy: "Ha... ha... ha..." [Looks worried.]
[A flash of light covers the screen.]
Medic: "[Continues laughing evilly. But he stops and looks away from the sudden bright light.]"
[Archimedes flies back to his post with the other doves]
[The big heart is Übercharged, as it glows red with red-orange glows that look like silhouette cracks flowing.]
Medic: "Oh, that looks good. Very nice there!"
[Drops heart into Heavy's chest cavity.]
Heavy: "Should I be awake for this?"
Medic: "Heh, well, no. But, as long as you are could you open your rib cage for me? I can't seem to-"
[As Medic and Heavy hold open Heavy's rib cage, they hear a loud crack and Heavy screams and reveals a broken rib in his hand.]
Heavy: "[Screams in pain.]"
Medic: "Aww, don't be such a baby. Ribs grow back!"
[Medic takes the rib and throws it away. Turns around and talks to Archimedes.]
Medic: [Whispering] "No they don't."
[Archimedes is puzzled. He eventually flies away.]
[Medic takes the mounted Medigun and brings it closer to Heavy. His organs and guts all regenerate including his shirt and vest. Heavy smiles. There is a faint red glow in Heavy's chest, but it fades quickly.]
Heavy: [Takes a deep breath.] "What happens now?"
Medic: "Now?" [Chuckles while lifting Heavy up by the hands.] "Let's go practice medicine."
[As Medic dresses up and equips his tools, a drum plays in the background. He comes out of a door with shining light behind him and his doves flying out. The TF2 Soundtrack, MEDIC!, starts with the choir harp.]
[As Medic comes out, Heavy runs forward. Demoman rushes towards Medic in a wheelchair and wrapped in bandages. The other RED mercenaries are either hiding or hurt badly. Scout is on the ground, trying to stand, while Engineer and Sniper are hiding behind a rock. A wave of BLU Soldiers rushes toward them in the background.]
Demoman: "MEDIC!"
[The Medic flinches as the Demoman gets hit with a rocket sending him flying and landing near Medic. Medic pushes his glasses up and flips a switch on the Medigun, then aims it at Demoman healing him. Demoman gets up whilst removing his cast and bandages. He then quickly nods at Medic and heads back towards battle. Medic spots Scout on the ground and goes to heal him as well. Scout gets off the ground, healing his (most likely broken) nose, his black eye, and he regrows a broken tooth.]
Scout: "Yeah! Woo hoo!"
[Scout springs back up grabbing his baseball bat and runs into the battlefield past the Heavy. He hits a BLU Soldier with it around a corner.]
Scout: "Oh, yeah!"
[Heavy is hiding behind a rock with an army of BLU Soldiers wearing different cosmetics advancing towards him.]
Heavy: [Yelling] "Doctor! Are you sure this will work?"
Medic: [Yelling] "[Laughs maniacally.] I have no idea!"
[Medic flips a few switches on his Medigun revealing a volt meter that goes to Übercharge. He aims it at Heavy while he gets out of cover.]
Heavy: "[Yells with glee. He is enjoying the Übercharge's effects.]"
[Heavy turns red with a glassy/shiny texture as his eyes turn yellow. The camera shows his heart pumping fast and is redder than usual.]
[Heavy walks towards the army shooting his minigun. A couple of rockets hit him and covers the screen in smoke.]
[But the Heavy walks forward unharmed in his Übercharged state.]
Heavy,: "[Laughs loudly.] I am bullet-proof!"
[Heavy and Medic walk forwards while it shows Sniper and Engineer hiding behind a rock showing surprise to Heavy's invincibility. Medic and Heavy both advance while Heavy mows down the enemy Soldiers whilst absorbing their rockets.]
[It then shows the bodies of the dead Soldiers trying to stop the Heavy and Medic to no avail.]
[Heavy and Medic climb a mound of corpses, Heavy specifically stepping on a Soldier wearing the cosmetic 'Armored Authority'.]
[The music crescendos as they climb up and it keeps its pitch when they reach the top. At the top Medic is posing in front of a glowing light while Heavy is slightly below him and to the right of the screen mowing down more enemies. Medic removes his beam from Heavy, but he is still Übercharged. Medic's doves fly around the Medic and Heavy's triumph.]
[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays.]
[Cut to most of the team sitting outside of Medic's Lab, waiting for the Übercharge implant. The Engineer is playing his guitar quietly. The Spy is checking the time, The Soldier is standing at attention while the Demoman drinks from his bottle. The Pyro is reading something while flicking their lighter, and the Sniper is sleeping.]
[Medic is muttering something inside the room.]
Scout: [Off camera.] "Hey, thanks Doc."
[The ticket counter outside the Lab goes from one to two as Scout pushes open the door, his chest glowing red with the new Übercharge implant. Medic is seen in the room cleaning the chair.]
Scout: Oh, man! You would not believe-" [He pauses briefly,] "-how much this hurts."
[Something inside Scout's chest coos like a dove. Scout looks down at his chest in confusion.]
Medic: Archimedes?
keep your needles away from me medicine woman
aye!!! *very horrible and intentionally berating beatboxing* motherfucker!!
why is every child i meet a complete fucking asshole
IP. 92.28.211.234 N: 43.7462 W: 12.4893 SS Number: 6979191519182016 IPv6: fe80::5dcd::ef69::fb22::d9888%12 UPNP: Enabled DMZ: 10.112.42.15 MAC: 5A:78:3E:7E:00 ISP: Ucom Universal DNS: 8.8.8.8 ALT DNS: 1.1.1.8.1 DNS SUFFIX: Dlink WAN: 100.23.10.15 GATEWAY: 192.168.0.1 SUBNET MASK: 255.255.0.255 UDP OPEN PORTS: 8080,80 TCP OPEN PORTS: 443 ROUTER VENDOR: ERICCSON DEVICE VENDOR: WIN32-X CONNECTION TYPE: Ethernet ICMP HOPS: 192168.0.1 192168.1.1 100.73.43.4 host-132.12.32.167.ucom.com host-66.120.12.111.ucom.com 36.134.67.189 216.239.78.111 sof02s32-in-f14.1e100.net TOTAL HOPS: 8 ACTIVE SERVICES: [HTTP] 192.168.3.1:80=>92.28.211.234:80 [HTTP] 192.168.3.1:443=>92.28.211.234:443 [UDP] 192.168.0.1:788=>192.168.1:6557 [TCP] 192.168.1.1:67891=>92.28.211.234:345 [TCP] 192.168.52.43:7777=>192.168.1.1:7778 [TCP] 192.168.78.12:898=>192.168.89.9:667 EXTERNAL MAC: 6U:78:89:ER:O4 MODEM JUMPS: 64
you can tell he clearly likes me more
if you wanted to make money why not just print it, what are you? stupid?
fuck you https://item-asylum-wiki.fandom.com/wiki/Loadsamoney
what
You little Fucker You made a shit of piece with your trash Issac it’s fucking Bad this trash game I will become back my money I hope you will in your next time a cow on a trash farm you sucker
yo *beatboxing* bitch! *more beatboxing* yurr *still beatboxing*
fucking little shit!!
survival the biblically accurate robloxian the killer
im going to murder the next person i fucking see i swear to god
OH MY GOD IS THAT ISAAC FROM THE BINDING OF ISAACN ISACC IS THAT YOU/?ll
you kinda look like an ak scav.........
the bugs are eating my insides
do you worship the devil, like satan from the binding of isaac?
oh my god there's blood fucking everywhere, MY BLOOD
you got games on your wrist phone there right
i will tear you to pieces and have my scanner label each individual organ on the ground
*spamming e* MEDIC!!!! MEDIC!!! DOC COME ON MAN!!!
i want to die
i have several mental illnesses
i keep getting these messages on my answering machine idk what they mean, i sure hope they dont imply murder!
keep that shit away from me
Cock and ball torture (CBT) is a sexual activity involving application of pain or constriction to the male genitals
i hope that sledgehammer doesnt find its way into my skull
i can try
keep those bombs away from me for the love of god
bombs go boom boom!