I don't know if I'm having depression or I just don't like doing oc stories anymore. I just can't tell. Especially I've been wanting to impress everyone with my ocs without bothering them about it. IDK how to impress people and my favorite artists my ocs without trying to beg them.. 

Here's why my projects are dead / failed without much spoilers:

Alternative Life - I'm literally stuck with character arcs and the story that don't seem right or I simply don't like. I might read it again but I remember disliking it a lot. I've had an interesting start, an okay balance with the characters, made some worldbuilding even for the characters, and the main story focus is supposed to be Taylor's side of life. I tried to implement others like Joseph, Ryan, and Sam. I wanted to work on them again but I started to not like the story and not trust the process anymore.

Eastern Trolls - I love the characters and story but I stopped working on it because most characters aren't even Asian and I want to change the theme. The ocs were originally Homestuck ocs but I turned it into "Eastern zodiacs". I didn't even think about making the characters Asian because I was ignorant.

The project with Scarlet and Hazel - This was a love story with them at first and then there was a band plot too. There was no real story planned for this. I want to change the character designs so bad but I'm just stuck with disappointment scene, emo, alt furry ocs.

Things are Fugged - This is the one with my very oldest ocs from 2011. I actually want to work on this, trying to start from scratch. The problem is I do want to work on it but I have no motivation and battling depression episodes right now, that makes it hard to reconnect with my ocs again even the ones I love right now.

My Metal Family ocs - Trying to work on them the best I can because they are new. I wish I'm really interested in making stories as I should.

The rest - I stopped working on them.

Note: I worked on the writings and worldbuilding all by myself, I had no helpers or co writers at all. I'm aware I never showed snippets of my writing work publicly because I prefer to finish all of the story before sharing anything.

  I'm starting to dislike my projects, I literally have no theme(s), uninspiring stories, too many characters, and I'm literally disinterested putting my characters in a different direction.

 I seem to have more focus and favoritism on certain characters right now and the rest is rotting waiting to be revamped. I don't like writing anymore and I'm drawing less than the typical weekly. I wish I can start new but I just can't. I'm still keeping my characters to find a chance to change and completely redesign them regardless of my nostalgia in them. This is the update, I'm sorry if you're disappointed in seeing no stories or progress at all. Where and what is the best way to revamp and restart characters over?

Please don't be obligated to respond to me if you don't have my back or don't give a fuck about my work. 

 It's going to be a while for me to buy or even especially me getting to do art commissions because 

my mom is very controlling when it comes to money and financial issues even when I'm a legal adult.

 I get supplemental income and I want to go to an art school at some point in my life to learn new things 

and experience and grow with people even if I have complex PTSD with peers in the past. I wrote on DA (on forums) that

my mom won't let me do art commissions because I have money counting issues and money management struggles and

she thinks I can't do adult things on my own (like taxes) because some adult things has caused me intense anxiety and behavior issues in the past.

 She is hard to convince, my mom is not a bad person, she cares a lot about me and she's afraid that I'll be on the streets and mess up any law issues.

I'm sorry I can't do what other artists do and I'm sorry I'm not a talkative and being a secretive person, I have social, behavior, and trust issues I need to work on through PTSD therapy.

It took me a while to wanting to write this because I don't like talking about my parents especially if they try to be good parents. I just felt I'm being pushed back being

mentally ill and having a cautious mom behind me. 

If I do something like art commissions, I'll do art trades, events, maybe contests, maybe raffles. I really have to be on a good mindset and responsible enough to do that. Right now I'm stressed and I pull bad habits.

I'm going to start putting emojis in my projects' folders to tell the status. (I only count my original projects for this).

They will stay that way until I figure out what to do with them, especially the discontinued and hiatus ones.

This is a temporary thing I need to do, I can't say how long.   

Indicators:

Listed

💚 - Most Active

💛 - Active but not too much

🧡 - Paused

Not yet listed

🖤 - Discontinued

🤍 - Idk

 I have a lot of art I've done in the past I wanted to upload. I will try to upload here and there.

Even if I feel weak and I have been lacking energy, I don't even have the energy to play games.. 

I'm damned if I do or damned if I don't when it comes to caffeinated coffee, it's either I'm tired or I spark anxiety from caffeine (meaning the jitters intensifies anxiety).

I was also inactive so I can better my mental health, I thank you for your patience!

 Idk how or what to write, I've been trying to keep it silent. I'll handle this alone. 

I might talk or at least mention about it in the future. Right now's not the time. 

 I put Joseph's outfits in the wrong tab at first. If notifications says the non canon tab please ignore that! Those outfits are indeed canon for Joseph! I Apologize!

 I still don't feel well and I haven't touched this in weeks so I lost grasp. I want to update on that so I won't confuse you.

 I am still writing things and stories about my cartoon series. I don't have a lot of motivation to do it every single day but I try to put my ideas and thoughts into it whenever I can. 

I have them in google docs but I don't want to share my personal info and spoilers. I wrote possible episode scripts so I can connect the story. I'm a very visual person especially when it comes to my ocs and I can easily visualize their stories and personalities! My plan is to make a comic about the characters' backstories after I write the whole story at least briefly if I feel I'm overworking myself. I will experiment with how I write. I can write scripts and/or storyboards and panel placements for comic to visualize before sketching and drawing, I want flow. I will learn as time goes on. I love to both write scripts and do storyboards. I'll love to go on about my questions about writing but I don't want to make this long.

I just want to let you know Alternative Life is not dead behind the scenes! I know I don't throw much stories outside of it but I don't want to spoil a lot of it since I want it to be a series, that's why I'm making a backstory comic so you can have something of it. What I can say about the comic is about the main cast in their childhood with their family and the series is the adulthood. It's a long process to do stories especially if you're alone. If you're interested in Alternative Life, I thank you for your patience and it means a lot to me! <3 Even with things and factors going on outside of the internet and my personal life, this series is still going and slowly pushing out! :D

Does anyone have tips to name your species? I'm not good at making names.

My species is hard to name. My species for example: https://toyhou.se/8706562.jay

 I am making a discord server for my cartoon series. It's not finished yet and I can send the link out only if it's finished. 

Currently I'm working on the bots! If anybody wants to be testers for the roles and channels, I can send the link after I'm done.

The link never expires, don't worry! I'm still new to discord so I gotta figure out how to do this and that.

I've been wanting to do a cartoon series for a long time. I have passion for my characters. 

This server is like a fan community and updates for my cartoon. Most of the stuff will be explained in the server.

Next progress will be a video!

Current progress:

https://twitter.com/ReixianxArt/status/1282163919394607104