TiredSpider's Literatures
You find a small tape recorder in the trash with a little description taped on the back: "Welcome to Eltoya's Life Narration™! We welcome you all to the beautiful, blessed Eltoya's daily life! Hear her GORGEOUS commentary and astounding voice!" You can't fathom this 'Eltoya' and how big her ego must be. Out of boredom, you press PLAY. You hear mostly scratched audio until the last segment (transcripted here).