please PM me with offers instead of commenting

feel free to offer on whoever you want, i'll check my dms in a few hours tee hee.

$ > art > ocs

ive taken a long break from this community to really think about what i want to experience and communicate through art. i think my priorities have been a bit wonky but have been feeling better and more focused. i am so tired of what i've been doing and need to stop overbooking myself. the transparent fullbody and character trade fodder hell i've put myself in is so lame. im way more cunt than that. at the same time i do a lot of multi media art and am considering starting a tumblr. hmmm lots of things to think about.

this morning my favorite mug broke during a routine wash. i figured it wasn't a big deal, because we live in a capitalist society. i was just going to replace it, right? wrong! i looked online and searched by image and still could not find a seller.

so (like the crazy person i am) i emailed the shop where it was purchased and the parent company in hopes they can help. 

this really puts things into perspective for me, in terms of items and their personal value. theoretically if said item was lost, broken or destroyed- would you replace it? hmmmm

im going to put hard work into combatting my hermit tendencies. ive become so independent that its a problem in my personal life and kind of effects my artspace too. maybe therapy??

people think i dont like them, or who knows what else because im so content to be on my own. i like friendships and being social- people live in my head rent free, but im so bad at reaching out and replying. im socially avoidant and its probably because im so used to the friends i love most leaving me.

i dont post about my interests or opinions because i dont NEED to talk about it. im comfortable being alone. but human connection is nice, and i know it would make others happy if i would start being more present. 

i miss toyhouse! between unpacking and work ive been too busy to log on

literally everything is at a standstill until i move and settle in. this move has been a nightmare because my leasing office sucks. 🤪

i have been soooo into these threads recently! using them to clean out my ufo folder has been a blessing. i made my own if you wanna participate

edit: never mind i deleted it tee hee because the first participant was already causing problems. why are people like this?

ooo i've been rocking out to this small playlist i found the other day and wanted to share it with you guys because it brought me joy.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNOA-0ZE-Nz7bDirjNeKrp1kBXNADWXX1

if you want to drop music in the comments that you like please do!! it's helping with my stress

making a public queue so I can keep track of all the owed art I’ve unfortunately accumulated. please reach out with questions or concerns.

——

•  https://toyhou.se/19308508.membrane- in xchange for a freebie / SKETCHED
•  https://toyhou.se/2358298.mosi for a buggabud
• https://toyhou.se/22068480.international-space-station for buggabud
• draw one of Yudamori’s ocs in xchange for heartgard art

first of all thank you to everyone who expressed love and support when i posted that i was having a crisis. the bulletin has been deleted from embarrassment since i usually prefer not to talk about that stuff- but i do appreciate all of your good wishes.

everything turned out fine which is good i guess. backstory is my apartment complex offered me a new apartment, i worked hard and fast to get it asap but they gave it to someone else. 

at that point i basically fell apart and gave up. like my spirit was broken. it was a whole thing.

and then literally the next day after i spent all that time crying and wanting to forever sleep myself, the landlords called and offered me a DIFFERENT BETTER APARTMENT. we also paid a deposit to hold it so that fucker isn't going anywhere. we're gonna move at the end of the month.

the take away i guess is that im gonna be fine- but my brain is TIRED. im just in this weird transitional time, waiting to start something new. i've been scrounging up some things here and there but mostly feel compressed and stressed, trying to have a good time but im exhausted. hopefully you're all doing good, there are so many lovely people in this art space. i wish you all the best.

- java