HELLO! It’s time for Jesse musings for a few moments.. unsure if anyone else feels like this but I wanted to put it out there as I think about it occasionally :-]
Sometimes I get gender envy from girls. I am not 100% a girl (nor 100% boy for that matter) and I am more content presenting as a boy. BUT! GAH!!! Sometimes I see a girl and I’m like ooohhh… ooohh I wish I could look like that SO bad… but in like, a boy way, you know? I wish people would see me like that and still call me a boy. I think it comes from me wanting to present femininely but still wanting to be perceived as male?
I’ve kind of tied this to my want to be some sort of ethereal thing, to have no known gender and be something entirely inhuman I think. I get a lot of gender envy from wanting to be some sort of angelic, unknown thing, simply existing without a gender and people would see me as such. I simply just would be. I don’t know!
Anywho. I dunno. I wish I looked like Emmanuelle Béart from Date with an Angel (1987) SO BAD! But in like a boy way. Or Audrey from Darkest Dungeon. But in like a boy way.
i totally get that!
i've been trying to disconnect societal roles and perceptions from gender as a whole, because who even cares what makes someone "boy or girl", we're on a floating rock in space let us just do whatever we want LOL
even though i present femininely most of the time and people assume that i am a girl (non binary legend), i've learned to not let it bother me as much because i kinda treat myself like i've ascended to another plane of understanding where i no longer equate "masculine" or "feminine" with boy or girl or any gender at all for that matter? like if i wear pink or dresses does that make me a girl or a boy? no, and when i see another person whose wearing a dress i don't think "thats a girl" i just think like "oh i like that dress" or "they look nice". this has helped me a lot in being confident with how i present and not worrying about how others percieve me!
the majority of this world is still stuck in a binary way of thinking so its best to just focus on the ones who are able to see past that and look at you and see you for you instead of a preconcieved notion or a stereotype/assumption of what you should be (AKA girl or boy) just soley based on the way you look or what you wear
you should be able to do whatever you want and if other people don't understand than thats their problem!
anyways yea i totally agree and you would rock as emmanuelle beart she looked so fire in that movie :3
2 months, 20 days ago
THIS IS SO REAL ACTUALLY!!!
Though for me it’s kinda like,,, a confidence thing. I don’t feel very confident in my gender presentation, so when I see someone who’s happy with how they present, no matter if they’re a girl/boy/masc/fem I’m like “I want that!!“
My closest irl friends are both girl-adjacent (lol), one is very feminine and one is more masc and when I see them I’m just like… aghhh they’re so cool I wanna be like them
But yeah the idea of being seen as male regardless of presentation is very appealing. Catch up, society!!
2 months, 22 days ago
YEAH!!!!! That is so valid… very very real. I LOVE SEEING PEOPLE CONFIDENT IN THEIR GENDER! IT IS SO COOL!!! I WANT TO BE LIKE THAT!!!!!!
YEAH :-] I wish I could just divinely project my pronouns into everyone’s heads so I could present however the hell and they would go 👍 BOY
2 months, 21 days ago