Hey guys, I wanted to give an update regarding my event comms for candyfloss and also my mental health atm since I feel like they're kind of going hand in hand. 

First off I want to say that I'm not cancelling commissions or saying that I'm stepping down as admin or anything, but more or less I want to touch up on why it seems like I'm taking longer than normal to get work out. Typically event work such as outfits at most take a couple weeks to complete as outfits are not really a hard thing for me to do, but some of you may notice I owe event outfits from January still. 

I plan to get these done as soon as I'm able to but I want to give a reason as to why I'm taking so long, please bare with me.
Since January, roughly the 6th, I've felt very off personally. While it's no secret as I've mentioned this a few times in the server I haven't really touched on the severity of my mood drop  since then, and I feel now in May it's gotten worse. I've been finding myself experiencing several moments were I'm upset or sad for really no reason, or if it is because of something then the reason is so small the fact I'm sad over it makes me feel stupid. I've been diagnosed with depression for a long time, and normally my drops don't last this long and part of me was just thinking it was because of anticipation for the brittles but like I said it still feels very prevalent now in May. I would like to add that nothing in particular caused this either, honestly other than some minor grievances there has been nothing that's really to blame it on, so as for what's the cause of this I couldn't tell you. But from others I've talked to it seems like I'm not the only one and 2021 seems to just be a bad vibe year so far. Almost everyone I follow on twitter seems to be going through a similar mood debuff that I have been going through as well. Basically I'm going through a major depression cloud that doesn't seem to be letting up, at least not at the moment. I have days I feel a bit better so I'm hoping this will end soon.

Onto another thing however: I've been experiencing a major burn out when it comes to commission work as all of 2020 I didn't really give myself any time to work on anything for myself aside from some doodles here and there and also floss profiles, for reference I really only drew one thing last year and it was a birthday gift.  I've been experiencing a lack of motivation for most things, including things I planned for myself to work on, I have adopts planned out that are being pushed back to next year due to the fact I basically ran out of time to really do them (I have themes planned for most months depending on the clan of that month). Time also seems to be running by, and since I'm either doing chores while watching my sisters or trying to work on floss things I often find myself achieving virtually nothing in a day and surprise, this also leaves me feeling sad due to the fact I've gotten nothing done that day. It's slowly becoming a rinse and repeat as I'm tied between things as well and just trying to find the motivation to work on things I want to do or have to do involving the group.

This kind of brings me to the last thing I want to bring up. Because I've been experiencing work burn out I've been doodling for myself more often, and I've been trying to draw for myself more often as I'm hoping it may help me with my burn out a bit. I'm adding this on because while doing personal art and doodles is fun and mentally healthy for artists, I can't help but to feel a bit guilty as people can see me working on these things. This is so I can ease my mind so everyone is aware that I'm not avoiding doing work, I just need a lil bit of time.

TLDR version: I've been experiencing a major depression episode that has spanned about 4 months now, I'm  hoping to get commissions done soon but I may try to work on art for myself more because it's something I neglected last year completely.

I appreciate the patience of the community, it makes me happy to know everyone is understanding of what I've been going through even if I've only mentioned it briefly. Thank you for reading and I love you all!