massive tw for grooming/exploitation of a minor/general talk of NSFW subjects. stay safe.

when i last made my post about this, i was in a very fragile state of mind and i wasn't the most comprehensive. since then i have not only gotten responses from a fellow victim, but also more screenshots and evidence, and had additional issues come up involving him. so once again i'd like to reiterate: this is all about @coldioc, and a bit about his partner @microwbird.

now i am going to be completely transparent about how we met, because it was a cause of confusion before. me and col met on flipnote hatena or deviantart, i cannot remember which came first. but we met back around 2011-2013, i'm honestly unsure. the point of this is to clarify: we were both kids when we met. however we were not close friends up until about 2016. before that we had been friends a bit, but i am honestly foggy on a lot of the memories due to the abuse i went through around the time of us talking- regardless i wouldn't have considered us super close, even if i did share a lot about my life to him. i had sparse conversations with him when i was occasionally able to sneak online.

so we started to get close in 2016, when i finally had some freedom as i got my own computer with internet access. we reconnected properly over skype, and sadly i don't have most of the conversations, as skype won't allow me to go back that far. the only bits i got were from downloading an archive of all my messages, and i don't believe it included our dms.

someone brought up the fact that we were both kids when we met, however i feel that doesn't make a difference. there is about a 2 ½ year age difference between us, and as we both became teens i feel it was very inappropriate considering what ages we were and the kinds of conversations that went on.

in addition, i'd like to note that any censored blocks without a label are my deadname that i'm not comfortable sharing.

now that you all have context, i'll be moving onto the grooming aspect of our relationship.

when he confessed to me, he confessed his kinks and fetishes first, then confessed romantically. i firmly believe this is because he wanted to make sure i wasn't going to push him away sexually before he got into a relationship with me.

since i can't get screenshot evidence of the confession, here's a screenshot of us talking about the confession

i remember explicitly saying that v*re made me uncomfortable, and yet he continued to talk about it anyways. i feel as if it was pushed onto me, and i'm not the only person who feels this way; i will get into this more in depth later. this is why i feel as though i was groomed; he conditioned me to joke about it and just accept it as a part of him despite it making me uncomfortable. that coupled with the fact that he told me quite often that he thought i was very mature for my age is why i believe i was groomed.

screenshot evidence of him joking about our age gap:

this is a screenshot from the skype archive; i'm cathoodies and he's daddy mcsteamy (i apologize for that horrible name.)

he claims it was just a little joke between us we talked about all the time and he never realized the age gap was bad because it was just a joke- but i'd like to propose that because we joked about it frequently he should've been aware. he was 17 years old at the time and fully should've known better- the joke defense does nothing to help him, in fact i think it hinders his argument.

in his response (which i don't have a link to because i'm IP blocked), he says that i also initiated sexual conversations, however that doesn't make it right. i was a young child, and he was almost a fully grown adult. i was not the one who was responsible there.

i will say just how fucking violating and crushing it is to have him publicly say i was hypersexual when that was the result of trauma. that is nobody's business but my own, and shouldn't have been publicly stated.

once i had cut contact with col, he was persistently keeping tabs on me through people he knew. sure, maybe he attempts to leave me alone now (though he won't let go of a lot of things- which i will also go into detail about later once again) but keep in mind at the time i was 16 and he was 18. really weird for him to be an adult obsessed with knowing everything about this 16 year old who had made it clear they wanted nothing else to do with him.

him and his friends stalking my art and accusing me of copying someone i was friends with at the time (whos art i have censored for privacy's sake):

him and his friends trying to figure out who i was dating:

this was all after i had cut contact and blocked him. people were keeping tabs on me and giving him updates and gossiping about me.

fellow victim who used to be friends with him told me this:

so, earlier in this post i mentioned that he pushed his fetish on me, however i wasn't the only one that felt that way. i have numerous ex/current friends who can vouch and say that he talked about it all the time. he and his partner would repeatedly be in peoples' servers bypassing word bans from bots to talk about v*re and/or just talk about it in general chats. i'm sure they will claim these were jokes, but even if they were they were blatantly talking about a fetish in public and involving people who most likely didn't know they were into it.

to further prove my point about how just obsessed he and his friends are with his fetish, they had a word counter in their servers that would count how many times they mentioned(?) v*re. i'm unsure if it counted the amount of times they said it or how long they went without saying it. regardless, here's that screenshot:

they would persistently, even deliberately bring up v*re around this person and bring them into things despite them clearly not wanting to be involved. censored for privacy's sake once again.

i was not present for this, so i am only going off of what the fellow victim has shown me.

in col/raven's server, there was a NSFW chat made specifically for one of the minors to talk about NSFW things (if i'm reading this correctly). they were two(?) adults and at least two minors in a NSFW chat, talking specifically about this minor's NSFW and fetishes and art.

he did art trades with this minor (i don't have screenshot evidence of that unfortunately, but i am not surprised to hear this at all.)

another victim, who i will keep private for their privacy, was involved in the NSFW chats despite being a minor (only just turned 18 in 2021 i believe, so that gives you an idea of the age gap.) and saw just how obsessed they were and how every single conversation had to be about it.

this is the comment they left on col's response:

a good while after i had cut contact and things had seemed to settle down, col tried to report me on artfight for character theft. the entire time he talked to the senior moderator he used the correct name (ronnie) without issue. as he and his partner talked to my ex friend who was a moderator, they repeatedly used my deadname and/or its initial despite being corrected.

this is the only even vague screenshot i can find of that conversation, but i know there was more. it was in a group chat, so maybe it doesn't exist anymore, i don't know. but they were corrected at least once.

now he will claim he didn't know this was a deadname, but i call absolute bullshit on that.

when i was with him, i identified strictly as nonbinary, wore makeup, didn't bind, was leaning away from hormones and top surgery. that is not to say trans men cannot do those things, that's not my point at all don't worry; this is all to say that i clearly identified differently back then. and since he had people keeping tabs on me and he himself looked at my pages i'm sure, it would be clear that i now identify as transmasculine/a trans man and i openly am gay (ie: a man attracted to a man) now.

for reference, this is how i drew myself with him vs. how i draw myself now. there was a clear change in identity.

he also openly admits to knowing i went by a different name, and despite him calling it a 'nickname' it is the name i went by entirely, not a nickname. it was not my username, except back when i was in middle school for a short while (at that time it was after an OC, not me). he even on multiple occasions tried to reassure me that it wouldn't be weird for me to change my name to that legally.

this may seem like a more personal gripe, but i find it extremely disrespectful and quite honestly transphobic. just because you don't like someone or have issues with them does not mean you get to deadname them by any means.

anyways, moving on.

aside from the fact that he pretty much stalked me for a good bit, even long after we cut contact and that victim stayed away from him he continued to violate my boundaries. he made NSFW art i made when i was 15 public on his characters' toyhouse pages which is disgusting for several reasons:

1: he knows i want nothing to do with him anymore. i have blocked him on every platform, done everything i possibly can to scrub him clean from my life, and yet he holds onto this art. and makes it public.

2: i drew this when i was 15. yes it was originally uploaded on a private account, but a. it shouldn't have been uploaded in the first place in all honesty and b. it should not have been kept once we cut contact.

3: as i mentioned before, it was originally uploaded to a private toyhouse account that was authorize only; but that means he proceeded to make the images public. someone commented in his defense saying he just mass made the images private, but he knew they were there. he sorted them into individual tabs, and he knew i drew them.

he says he hid the images but that isn't good enough. he should delete them entirely. i shouldn't have to live with the knowledge that someone who i'm not in contact with anymore has porn i drew when i was 15 online where anyone could potentially get it, or he could use as blackmail or something of that sort.

he also still to this very fucking day, has art of us together on his sona's page. public. art of us kissing, hugging, cuddling, being intimate. what does he need those images for? why would he keep them public, especially AFTER i made a whole callout post about him? it's quite frankly disgusting and weird and a violation of my boundaries and even my privacy, given that the images are connected to a character on toyhouse that has my deadname.

i cannot delete these images, because he's the artist of most of them and he is the one who has to take them down. reporting will do nothing, because this site is understaffed and my last report got nothing done.

he will most likely accuse me of stalking him and not leaving the situation alone, when that is not the case at all. i went to our old shared account to transfer some characters to my storage account, because they have a lot of digital art i don't have access to anymore, and i wanted to keep it somewhere safe. in the process, i saw my old sona's page and went to it, saw the art of us together and looked at it, and saw it was connected to his current public sona's profile.

just like the NSFW from when i was a minor, this is the same case: it was manually made public and sorted into its own tab. he knows it's there, put it out in public himself.

in addition to all this, in his public response he publicly stated i was hypersexual. that is extremely private information, and especially given the fact that i was a minor at the time and had just gotten out of a horrible situation involving sexual assault, it's quite frankly disgusting that he would say that publicly.

in my previous post, i brought up the fact that he used a character i used to heavily vent my sexual trauma in NSFW ways. sure, this is his own iteration of the character now, given that we've split and taken them in new directions. but is it not kinda gross and weird how he decided he would do that with a character who not only was used to vent (and my sexual trauma vent art was public until the callout was made) in NSFW ways, especially when said character was supposed to be asexual?

as far as i know, he still has all of my art that was made of his characters public. which is quite frankly disrespectful considering i have cut all contact with him and clearly want nothing to do with him, or to be associated with him in any way.

i did not bring this up again to start trouble or anything of that sort. i did this because now i have more evidence, have contact with a fellow victim, and this is much more comprehensive and thought out than my previous emotionally charged callout.

i was accused of using this as a weapon, however that is not the case. i simply believe people have the right to know that he is not who he seems. i don't want anyone else to go through what me and my ex friends and fellow victims went through. and i quite frankly believe that someone as disgusting and predatory as him does not deserve a platform.

he and raven claim to not talk to minors much anymore, and sure. maybe they've changed their stances on how they interacted with minors in the past; but what about the fellow adults and older teens they interacted with? that they pushed their fetishes on and into conversations where it clearly wasn't warranted? it was not only minors' safety and comfortability at stake in this situation. they both brought it up around adults who had made it clear they were uncomfortable.

my heart goes out to the fellow victim who reached out to me. we are both doing much better at the time of writing this, and we have found some closure in reconnecting and sharing our experiences with each other. my heart also goes out to the fellow victim who is still associated with col and considers themself his friend. i hope that they one day realize that the way he acts is completely unacceptable and that they were unhealthily influenced by both col and raven.

as i said before: do not attack him. do not harass him. simply spread the word, block, and unfollow.

i hope you all stay safe and stay vigilant. i wouldn't wish this upon anyone, as it has horribly affected me to this day and has made holding relationships, approaching NSFW topics, and addressing my sexual feelings very difficult.