So 1. My really best friend (@a-nugget on scratch) is in a mental hospital and he was the person to whom i talk the most, to whom i vent and i feel empty w/out him
2.TW I have a lot of panic attacks and flashbacks and breakdowns and i feel like i dissociate but my mother won't let me see a specialist. I started butning myself w/ boiling water because it doesnt gives mark unlike cuttinG like i did before. i also have a lot of suicidal thoughts and sleep paralysis episodes i have got like 30h of sleep in the last 3 months no joke. I might go to a mental hospital for like 3/4 weeks to fo exams and might stay longer if there's actually something
AUUUGH I CHECKED MY INBOX SEVEN TIMES OVER AND DIDN'T SEE A MESSAGE AND WAS SCARED IT DIDN'T COME THROUGH AND THAT"S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED,, first off, kei, if you need to go to a mental hospital, that's actually really good. as for @a-nugget that;s also good for him as well, because if he had let the negative thoughts consume him for too much longer, then he probably would've done something very bad :( your symptoms are enough for me to advise that you probably should get checked out and what exactly is going on with you. remember, it's not normal to have a lack on sleep at will, meaning that it probably is something more serious.
SECONDLY it's bad that your mother won't let you solve the negative buildup in your mind!! :( i never know what to say to these kinds of things,, because you have to be in your guardians control when it comes to these types of things unfortunately. remember that i care for you and i hope things get better!! try to stay positive and don't stop yourself short just because you don't think you can do that. one of the first steps of recovery if wanting to try!! nobody wants to feel sad for a long time. whatever gets you down, you can always come to me so i can give you some (hopefully,,) good words of advice!
Ty <3 I've honestly tried to tell my mom 'should we check a doctor to see if i have something' and she's like 'ok i'll bring you to therapists and also exercise more and go out more often' but honestly i wish i could take pills, like i know i might sound like i'm faking it rn, but i'm really not. Like psychologically i'm not even tired but phycally my body is completely letting go. Like for eg yesterday i nearly fell in the stairs and if some random guy hadn't grabbed me i could had hurt myself really badly. I also binge-eat and. Also i'm so umcomfortable with my weight (tho i'm not that overweight lol, like you cant really see it)like idk, i'm so uncomfortable w/ my weight and food that when we talk about weight, food stuff w/ whoever i hate it and feel like everyone is looking at m. Also my father is really not helping like he is alcoholic and such a manipulator like idk, he legit ask my maternal grandma to pay him a month of hotel room like what ?? And my sister. She's taking my oxygen away and being so choking. I hope her and my mom would understand that i just wanna be alone and that its not their fault. Also the only time i had a panic attack on front of my mother she legit say 'arrête ton cinema' because i smiled because i cant control my expressions like idk man and after she asks why i never have panic attacks at home. I have them, sorry mom but not in front of you and my sister because you are just mocking me. I also have mental breakdowns/ get angry over the smallest thing when i used to be a really sweet child. Also the reason i'm going to the hospital is to take exams to do something to be more comfortable w/ my weight but 1. my mom isn't really ok w/ it and 2. Idk how to tell her that i need mental help, that therapists and emdr won't help. Ty for everything and sorry for replying w/ another vent <3
AlienKid
OKOK i got it to work, its khi, what's up?
3 years, 4 months ago
hiiiii! So much things ngl
3 years, 4 months ago
lay it on me i'm here to listen :)
3 years, 4 months ago
Ok great you get them but i cant see if you doo anyways lemme explain
3 years, 4 months ago
So 1. My really best friend (@a-nugget on scratch) is in a mental hospital and he was the person to whom i talk the most, to whom i vent and i feel empty w/out him
2.TW I have a lot of panic attacks and flashbacks and breakdowns and i feel like i dissociate but my mother won't let me see a specialist. I started butning myself w/ boiling water because it doesnt gives mark unlike cuttinG like i did before. i also have a lot of suicidal thoughts and sleep paralysis episodes i have got like 30h of sleep in the last 3 months no joke. I might go to a mental hospital for like 3/4 weeks to fo exams and might stay longer if there's actually something
3
3 years, 4 months ago
Ngl a lot
3 years, 4 months ago
Wait do u get my messages lol
3 years, 4 months ago
Gtg <3
3 years, 4 months ago
AUUUGH I CHECKED MY INBOX SEVEN TIMES OVER AND DIDN'T SEE A MESSAGE AND WAS SCARED IT DIDN'T COME THROUGH AND THAT"S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED,, first off, kei, if you need to go to a mental hospital, that's actually really good. as for @a-nugget that;s also good for him as well, because if he had let the negative thoughts consume him for too much longer, then he probably would've done something very bad :( your symptoms are enough for me to advise that you probably should get checked out and what exactly is going on with you. remember, it's not normal to have a lack on sleep at will, meaning that it probably is something more serious.
3 years, 4 months ago
SECONDLY it's bad that your mother won't let you solve the negative buildup in your mind!! :( i never know what to say to these kinds of things,, because you have to be in your guardians control when it comes to these types of things unfortunately. remember that i care for you and i hope things get better!! try to stay positive and don't stop yourself short just because you don't think you can do that. one of the first steps of recovery if wanting to try!! nobody wants to feel sad for a long time. whatever gets you down, you can always come to me so i can give you some (hopefully,,) good words of advice!
3 years, 4 months ago
Ty <3 I've honestly tried to tell my mom 'should we check a doctor to see if i have something' and she's like 'ok i'll bring you to therapists and also exercise more and go out more often' but honestly i wish i could take pills, like i know i might sound like i'm faking it rn, but i'm really not. Like psychologically i'm not even tired but phycally my body is completely letting go. Like for eg yesterday i nearly fell in the stairs and if some random guy hadn't grabbed me i could had hurt myself really badly. I also binge-eat and. Also i'm so umcomfortable with my weight (tho i'm not that overweight lol, like you cant really see it)like idk, i'm so uncomfortable w/ my weight and food that when we talk about weight, food stuff w/ whoever i hate it and feel like everyone is looking at m. Also my father is really not helping like he is alcoholic and such a manipulator like idk, he legit ask my maternal grandma to pay him a month of hotel room like what ?? And my sister. She's taking my oxygen away and being so choking. I hope her and my mom would understand that i just wanna be alone and that its not their fault. Also the only time i had a panic attack on front of my mother she legit say 'arrête ton cinema' because i smiled because i cant control my expressions like idk man and after she asks why i never have panic attacks at home. I have them, sorry mom but not in front of you and my sister because you are just mocking me. I also have mental breakdowns/ get angry over the smallest thing when i used to be a really sweet child. Also the reason i'm going to the hospital is to take exams to do something to be more comfortable w/ my weight but 1. my mom isn't really ok w/ it and 2. Idk how to tell her that i need mental help, that therapists and emdr won't help. Ty for everything and sorry for replying w/ another vent <3
3 years, 4 months ago
Also sometime i get a really uncomfortable feeling in my brain where i cant think but i never told that to anyone.. but like tysm <3
3 years, 4 months ago