(ah, look at that, janey!)

(another fine day, shining down on hussie's sweet sweet sburb)

(land of mounds and xenon and adventure...)

(god i love it!)

i begin every pesterlog with an apology

sorry that's the case, it's just english policy

probably the case with everything in honesty

i use 10 words when 2 would do honestly

i'm english! and that makes me unique!

at least i think so when i hear you speak

see, i used to have a boyfriend, when i got a little cocky,

like, "haha, jane jake shippers, i'd like to see you stop me!"

and sure enough... the ship had crumbled

now in every forum all the crack ships stumble

i'm rather glad really, it made me more humble

come and ask me what's my name, dear boy i wont mumble!

i'm english! i dont want to be fantastic

just adequate and if im nice its probably sarcastic

full of vigour and adventure, thats what i like to think!

if you can't take a joke, double pistols and a wink

i'm english! got some harley in me

a page of hope whose just a dope then you must be me

im english! like the words in a thicket, like,

crickey, blimey, shucks buster, wicked

i'm english! got some good friends behind me

like roxy, janey, cal, and dirk

so if you're down with the jakes then make some noise!

but... if you'd rather not... that's fine...

im ever so nice to the pets (gunshot)

and i know not to strife too hard

i'm inventive, accepting, eccentric, and yes

i suppose im a bit bizarre

but if you delight in monsters taken down

just because of the way they live

or you could feel bleak joy in a missed birthday

as the rain pours down on your ships

or you can watch 10 hours of aliens

without ever breaking your stride

or repress your emotions and passions

and bury them deep inside

then i've kept a room in a cramped treehouse

with a tv that only shows girls colored blue

and i have the keys right here...

i've been keeping them just for you

im english! as harleys, englishes, and jakes

no manners, roast nanas, janey's cakes

im english! as a jungle kid "chim chim cheeree!"

or some fisticuffs on robots that are twice as strong as me

so if youre down with the jakes then put your hands in the air!

but if you'd rather not, thats fine,

actually... i mean... 

dont want to cause too much of a fuss

(well, at this point i'd just like to take a moment to apologize)

(for all the things that i've done to my friends)

(janey's birthday, for example and, erm...)

(breaking up with dirk... romance dodging...)

(erm... tinkerbull... stupidity...)

(but most of all,)

(im so terribly, terribly sorry about)

(gay shipping)