Hndk ai mati
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Yeah, lets just, berate me for not having a job despite my constant looking and trying. I don't get callbacks because my skills are that undesirable that I can't even land a minimum wage job. Everything I have to "offer" is of no value and no use. Not good enough in art, not good enough in design, not good enough in tech, literally fucking everything I went to school for and self-taught I'm not good in. Maybe that's why. I'm trying. I'm trying to learn and make myself useful, but I can't find anything. I want a job, I want to work, but I'm so god damn useless no one wants me. Come next year I'll be gone anyway, one way or another.
One of my friends is hinting that they’d like to RP with me again after many many years, and I... am not enthused at all. I love them, don’t get me wrong, but I did not enjoy RPing with them. :| I literally had to set up the scenario every time (they had suggestions, of course, but never started a session ever), RP multiple characters to carry the plot (they only ever wanted to play their one character), and usually responded with 1-2 lines at a time to my 2-3 paragraph responses.
That might not even be bad if the dialogue was engaging, but it wasn’t. 90% of their responses were so passive they did absolutely nothing to drive the scene or even the conversation forward. For instance:
Me: (playing the role of the antagonist in a scene, confronting their character and asking a question)
Them: (character literally says nothing in response, and instead has an internal thought of “how dare they be so evil! They’ll pay for this!”)
(Repeat at least 2-3 more times before I’m able to squeeze actual dialogue out of their character)
I guess if I wanted to RP with myself it could be fun, buuuuuuut I don’t. -_- Hopefully they just accept that I’m too “busy” to RP...
Why is my laptop so unnaturally slow today?? Surely you don't need to be restarted a FOURTH time!? God damn ><;
ik cats act like 'they've never been fed' all the time but my cat is p much feral when it comes to food to the point where once he's done throwing his and my bf's cats bowls around scavanging for any scraps and trying to break down my roommate's door to get at his cat's food, he's desperate to drink the last lick of milk from the bottom of my mug or drink my leftover two minute noodle water, and where he's jumping up on the oven AS I'M COOKING to eat shit out of the pots and pans! and that's incredibly dangerous for both of us! he's never been this bad before and i don't know what to do!
i've changed his diet to proper food instead of cheap cardboard aldi shit, i've wormed him... my last resort is to get slow feeder bowls so that maybe he'll start to feel fuller if he can't wolf down his dinner in 30 seconds flat
if that doesn't work? i'm gonna have to take him to the vet. i'm certain he has diabetes. ik that sounds stupid but he's got all the symptoms tenfold. i'm aware that there are other medical conditions that can link to diabetes in cats if it's not obesity (which despite being a large cat he's not obese in the slightest) so i'd like to inquire abt that as well. only problem is that he'd likely need more than a regular checkup (such as blood tests) and i can't afford that
ig my biggest fear is him actually having diabetes bc then i'd have to likely provide insulin for him for the rest of his life. i'd do it w/o hesitation don't get me wrong - but i need to save up for a surgery i've been needing for myself for over five years and i feel like everything is trying to stop me from saving for it. that sounds so selfish and ik realistically i'll put my cat first, but it's becoming a big health risk for myself if i continue on like this. as it is i can't breathe normally anymore and i've been dealing w/ severe back pain since i was 15 all bc of the same thing and idk . idkkk.
lol he just tried to drink my alcohol as i was writing this. i'm so over it.