[IC] Eat it or Leave It

“Oh this.. this is..” Akuma trailed off, trying to hide his disgust. “Looks delicious.” he managed to get out, poking the still sizzling meat with his fork. Not wanting to be rude to a potential recruit, he apprehensively took a tiny bite. Hm, the texture was okay, and the taste was.. eh, not so great. The fact it was meat of another intelligent creature made his stomach churn. But a mafia boss has to keep up his tough appearance, right?

”o-oh it’s delicious. Wonderful!” He applauded, looking visibly pale. He fully intended on throwing this.. stuff out as soon as barnabas turned away.

——

Akuma wanted to impress you, after all he wanted you to join his mafia. Thus, instead of hiring one of his chefs to cook you something, he’d cooked it himself. Unluckily for you, nobody had ever told Akuma that his cooking was awful, and so he was convinced it was the greatest thing of all time. whatever it was looked rather burnt and crispy.. Akuma had told you it was steak but it certainly didn’t look like one. The salad that accompanied it was rather slimy looking.. hey, at least the drink he’d served looked edible, flavoured sparkling water with cut up fruit inside it.

”Enjoy, I made it myself :)” The mafia boss said, clearly proud of himself. “So.. over dinner we can talk about you joining, right?”

Vontanious looked at the salad nervously. How did that slime even get there?? Was that grease on one of the leaves? The steak didn't seem to be doing well either. It looked more like a "bravo" than a "well done". He felt like Gordan Ramsey scrolling a Reddit thread on the worst cooks imaginable.

Yet he didn't say it. He gave Akuma a nervous smile. "Um... yeah." One of his tentacles picked up a leaf. "I mean, I'll join you--" he stuffed it in his mouth. His other tentacle gripped the table as he chewed on it. This tasted like dirt lettuce more than iceberg lettuce. He grabbed the water and gulped it down as fast as possible along with the fruits. He set the now empty glass aside. His body shivered as he continued.

"As long as I don't have to... physically hurt anybody, right?" He pushed the plate away. "I'm getting pretty full anyway, I suppose we'll discuss the terms and conditions later, right? Right."

---

The tentacle-armed man places a plate of salmon on the table across from you. It has a slight crisp on the top and the insides look... decent. On the side, there's a number of peas. 

Vontanious nervously waves his arms back and forth. "It's, uh, one of the only things I'm really good at cooking." He flashes a smile at you. "Enjoy?" 

“The only thing you’re good at cooking?” Margaret asked, picking up the knife and fork and cutting into the salmon. “I’m sure that’s not true. Meals don’t have to be fancy, you know, especially when you’re still learning. Anyway… ok, let’s try this.” She took a tentative bite, a bit nervous after hearing the other man’s supposed lack of confidence in his skills. It wasn’t bad, though! The fish was a little dry, but the seasonings he’d used were delicious. And the peas…

She tried a few of them and was pleasantly surprised to find they were good too. 

“See?” She announced, putting down her utensils and clapping her hands together with a smile. “You’ve already gotten the hang of this, so you can call me if you ever want to learn more complex things… no? Well, the offer’s still on the table if you change your mind.”

—

“Yes, you can wait right over there!” Margaret pulled out a chair at her kitchen table, indicating that you should sit, before heading back to the kitchen to make some final preparations. As you watched, she took a large pot off the fire and ladled some of the contents into a bowl. After sprinkling something on top and adding a small plant for garnish she nodded to herself, satisfied. 

She didn’t say anything about her cooking skills as she placed the bowl of stew at the table, but her skill was obvious: it looked exactly like something you’d see served at a restaurant (or an inn, maybe). 

“Enjoy!” She said. “Alright, now I’m going to work on doing the dishes…”

He looks both perplexed and amused by the addition of different seasonings, and garnish. Like one does at a play they’ve never seen before.
”What’s it for? Medicinal?” he mutters picking up the small plant used as garnish. While he did seem a little sceptical to the addition he didn’t waste any time tasting the stew, trying his best to eat it slowly and politely but when you’ve been travelling through wasteland for weeks on end a home cooked meal is a real luxury. 

“You know what” he mumbles trying to suppress a slight smile, “maybe you citydwellers do know a thing or two about what’s good in life.” He sticks his hand in one of the coat pockets seemingly searching for something before looking up.

”how much do I owe you?”

——

You slouch down by the makeshift campfire next to the man in a black coat and sunglasses, which seemed like a strange accessory to wear, especially at night. “We would usually have had to find shelter by now“ he pointed out “but luckily none of the nocturnal creatures will bother getting through the swamp terrain”. Despite the reassuring words the haunting presence of the ancient ruins around you and distant howls from the forest still gave a sense of unease. You had heard one of the other travellers, who looked like a scholar, say he thought they were from the early 2010s. It really does rise questions about how the world was before the crisis. Back when people lived on the surface.

”hungry?” A voice snaps you back to reality. Without waiting for a proper response the man in sunglasses starts digging around in his bag, pulling out a hunting knife and what looked like a slab of dried meat. Nonchalantly he carves off a piece and holds it between his teeth before he carves off another one, stabs the point of the knife through it and angles the blade towards you.
“Take it, the only thing we have right now, been days since we actually caught something“ he says while glaring at another hunter seated by the fire.
Considering your company the meat could be anything, you suspected those spending their entire life hunting down mutated animals and anomal creatures weren’t too picky with their prey. And the others didn’t seem to mind.

By nature, Samuel is not a particularly picky eater, and he observes the other man's movements with a hint of interest, and it almost seems as if he is carefully taking down notes despite the lack of pen and paper. He thinks that he might laugh a little at that little trait he shares with the others, that tendency to watch, but now is not the time, and he sets the thought aside.

He doesn't turn his nose at the sight of the dried meat, accepting the blade given to him, and with a grip that indicates a not-insignificant period of experience, he slices, taking a piece for himself. The hybrid prods at it with a sharp claw, and he clicks his tongue as he carefully deliberates what to say. There is some uncertainty there, the underlying awareness that it might be seen as rude to ask, but... he might as well before the question gnaws at him like so many others.

"How do you prepare this meat, actually?"

[Eat it, but not without asking questions]

It's a scene that one might consider quaint: a large dining room lit by chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, even though the table remains empty as the researcher himself has not arrived yet.

The door to the kitchen opens, and Samuel himself emerges with a tray of food held in his hands, before slowly navigating over to the dining table and lowering the tray to allow you a proper view of what he has brought in: a plateful of roasted tentacles, alongside a thick, savoury sauce and some mashed potatoes, and the scent that wafts from it might as well be described as divine. That is, if one doesn't regard the tentacles as disturbing.

Samuel dusts his hands, albeit more as a figurative gesture rather than any literal attempt at removing dust, and he grins with pride as he gestures at his dish.

"Some of my specially-bred tentacles, stuffed with herbs before being roasted over an open fire. I've eaten it before, and it's very delicious, so feel free to dig in!"

SymeSynth 

Isaac wasn't exactly used to fancy dinners, but despite finding the situation somewhat awkward (and his host to be an eccentric and somewhat shady academic), he figured he may as well make the most of it. Slowly, he walked to the dining table, taking in his lavish surroundings. Oh the amount of funding this man must have for his projects. Just thinking about all the equipment, all the parts and tissue samples he could afford with that kind of money, it was enough to make a tinge of jealousy surge in the pit of his stomach. 

But any such feelings were soon replaced with a ravenous hunger as his host entered the dining hall, a tantalizing smell following him out of the kitchen. A platter of tentacles, roasted to perfection and unusually plump and meaty, was carefully laid before him.

He raised his eyebrows, eyeing the plate with a mix of curiosity and suspicion. Tentatively, he poked the tendrils around with his fork, carefully scrutinizing them in an attempt to identify what kind of animal he was about to ingest. Isaac was no picky eater, but he did prefer to know exactly what he was about to put in his mouth, and the appendages placed before him at this moment he could not with certainty classify as belonging to any order of cephalopod of which he was aware of. As appetizing as the food seemed, he thought it best to be wary of consuming mystery meat offered to him by a stranger.

"Specially bred?" So was that one of the many projects Samuel poured his money into? "Where did you harvest them from? Doesn't look like any animal I've seen before."

[Would eat it but definitely has a lot of questions about where they came from]

The morning sun's first rays weakly lit the crammed and unkempt kitchen/dining room, an undescribable yet definitely not pleasant smell permeating the atmosphere. "Welcoming" is definitely not an adjective fit to describe Isaac or his living quarters, but at least he' being hospitable enough to cook for two. Especially considering he rarely puts in the effort to do so for himself. Turning off the stove, the man crossed the room, navigating towards the small table with a pair of plates in his hands. "Breakfast" Isaac announced, placing a platter of dark, reddish brown pancakes before his guest.

"I didn't have any eggs; luckily blood makes for a handy substitute. In terms of consistency, at least. Has similar proteins."  He explained, with what one might assume tried to be a friendly grin but which gave quite the opposite impression. "Eat up" he sat across from you, setting down his own plate of blood red pancakes in front of him. "Its best to eat them warm."

Pimn

Kolesciach attempted to sit on the chair, opposite to Issac, well...hovering above the chair ,his big spider body made it akward to sit in general, in fact it was hard to tell if he was standing low to the chair or actually sitting. Kole seemed a bit nervous at the fact his spider body took so much of the kitchen due to his size, and event hen, he felt smallc ompared to Issac since Kole found him a bit....intimidating. Either way, he wasn't the best at small talk, nor was he one for friendly banter, and Kole had a feeling Issac wasn't too talkative either. Kole wasn't a picky eater, for heavens sake he eat sbugs for most of his meals and enjoyed it, however he never seen anything like what Issac prepared.

"Pancakes, I don't think i've heard of such a thing...or at least we never had anything like this in the Underdark. With a name like that I'd expect something with icing on it, this isn't like any cake I've seen.....but I haven'tseen too many in my life time now that I think of it." 

Kole, not really knowing how to eat the pancake took it in his hands, seemingly not bothered by the syrup on it and tore a piece off to eat. Kole found the sweet taste mixing with the irony flavor of the blood to be quiet pleasent, again he's ate worse, and thats pider brain of his warps his tongue in wicked ways. After he gets more comfortable he devours the rest of the pancakes, barbarically almost.

"This is better then anything our Goddess fed us!.....What kind of blood is this.............where-.....did you get this bloo-you know what, IT DOESN'T MATTER, DO YOU THINK I CAN GETYOU TO MAKE ME MORE?!"

[100%wouldeat, he wouldwant to feast...]

Trigger warning: Mentions of eating bugs and insects 

It was cold and dark, as it always is in the Underdark. It's been a long day...you think, since you can't see the sun under ground.... and you seem to be lost. Thankfully on your travels you meet a some-what friendly drider that introduced himself as Kolesciach (Coal-liss-ee-ack). He seemed rather tickled to have a guest, assuring you he wouldn't eat you if you joined him for dinner. You see, Kole hadn't talked to anyone in months now and you being the only other person capable of speech in a who-knows-how-many-mile radius, caused him to threaten you to eat and talk with him. Either eat or be eaten, you don't see much of an option. You wait on the rocky cold ground of the Underdark as Kole prepares you a bountiful meal, or at least.....what he....considers a bountiful meal...

Kole goes to a large rock with many many holes in it and begins to pluck out the biggest centipedes you've ever seen, placing them into a bowl of rock. You can see them writhing and wiggling from where you sit. Kole even eats one from time to time, seemingly unbothered by the centipede trying to escape before being bit in half.  Not only that, Kole gets his hands on large ants, roachs, and a few beetles he had caught in a web he made near by, which he all adds into the bowl. All the insects seem to be much bigger in this place, ranging from the size of mice to house cats. After a moment or two, Kole happily returns to you with his bowl of horrid contents.

"This place is full of the good stuff.....these bugs are more crunchy than the ones up twords the sun....whichever way that is." Kole puts the bowl between you two and eats a beetle, when he does he thinks.

"Something is missing....AH! I know, it's a bit bland......excuse me." 

Kole stands up and picks a few of the bioluminescent mushrooms that grow around you. He then goes back to the bowl and tares open the mushroom to show blue glowing liquid inside, which he goops onto the bowl of bugs. He takes a test bite of his concoction and seems very pleased by the taste.

"The mushroom mush is what REALLY BRINGS OUT THE FLAVORS....uh....you're immune to hallucinogenics right? These mushrooms are rather potent with that......some people complain about the sour spicey taste too.........I'M SURE YOU'LL BE FINE, I'm sure you'll be fine!!! YOU'LL LIKE IT, JUST TRY IT!"

Kole looks at you with some crazed desperation trying his best to be friendly as he lifts the bowl and shoves it twords you, waiting for you to try it

"I SAID TRY IT!!!"

It was rather odd for Robi to take a wrong turn, he's sure he made the right way to the expedition site, he mapped. But now, it seems he had stumbled upon the residents of this cave... it wouldn't have either been the dwarves, the miners of fossil roo but none other than an arachnid-human hybrid that was spoken about to have a ravenous appetite for human flesh but it seems fried monkey was off the menu tonight. What was on the menu was the concoction that the monster had cooked up to appease his 'guest'. A horrid cocktail of putrid bugs and insects he had quite literally picked up from the floor, along with a generous dosage of hubrid eerie cave shrooms that also found the darkened depths their home... until their untimely fate of a cave-dweller's lunch.

His stomach churned and his tail stiffened as the meal was presented. All of his senses acted in a unified courtroom jury that all agreed that this criminal of a dish is not safe for human consumption. He wanted to berate the other on the truth but it seems this figure would do more harm than what the broth would have done. He gulped as his nerves coldened in steel but he can at least worm his way out of it.

"U-Uh... I-I think I'll have to pass... I don't think you even know what us folk from the surface eat... the stuff that we don't find crawling in the dirt or in the depths of these mossy old caves." He truthfully explained. "I think I'll just leave it." He smiled cheesily, delivering his hard-hearted truth in one.

It struck odd to wind yourself on some mystical, magic island slap bang in the middle of nowhere; In the middle of the ocean to be precise. Hardly inhabited, the only signs of life was the wildlife and the sole soul whom had happened to call it his new home for life. Whom had decided to escape the hustle and bustle of civilisation and live it out as a hermit, in a wicked wooden lodge filled with ticking clocks, half-assembled steampunk gadgets and tools, and drawn out blue-prints that might as well be seen as works of art.

Though, despite the sole purpose of his so-called Workshop, the lodge did feature its own hospitality means included a fitted kitchen, bathroom and sleeping quarters; Two souls inside with a guest on the sofa. It seems that the owner's flatmate had left for the night, leaving you with the owner to enjoy dinner tonight.

The host was none other than a purple cuff, vest wearing, tailed human sporting striking light-blondeish hair as he hummed away whilst putting together a hot meal.

"Well, I surely didn't expect someone to wind up on my home; Since visitors are seldom seen down these parts but you look like you had the journey so lemme just put somethin' together so ya don't move on, on an empty stomach. Haha!" He cackled as the wood-fired oven crackled away as the thunking of kitchenware cleaning making it through the ingredients that he had arranged for the final result.

"There's one benefit here though and that everything I make out of comes from nature directly. My own garden is my larder, with most of the meats imported from me travels. Pretty much self-sustained for me and my roommate." He explained.

Though the still air began to change flavour. A warming, fulfilling waft of beef changed the mood of the room and it became apparent that he had been broiling mince in a pot, cooking away atop the breathing blaze. Potatoes peeled and then pulverised into a mighty mush, with a few arrangements of cooked diced carrots, potent gravy and stock thrown into the mince for good measure. The mashed spuds laid on top like a blanketed crust, Robi slides it into the oven for an hour before it was finally set on the wooden table.

"There you go, Robi's Fabulous Cottage Pie; Warmingly made by yours truly. A must have skill for any roving explorer, hermit extraordinare." He announced his work happily and divides out a portion for you. It seems he was lovingly proud of his handiwork to be savoured by others and awaits your input.

It had become all too clear they had likely strayed far away from home then previously thought. The Twins had always been told to avoid the forest on the outskirts of town for it was no place for children to wander in, though to her defense there was no proper explanation for how a forest could lead to an island. She could only offer an awkward smile to the friendly stranger as she imagined the trouble they might be in to not only leave the safety of town, but talk to strangers as well. Then again, they had also been told to be polite around adults and it would most certainly be impolite to look a gift horse in the mouth.

She stared down at the dish before he, up at her host and back down again carefully.

"Taters?" she questioned with a funny look, "Don't like those, can I scrape em off?".

She winced in a mixture of disappointment and horror as she dug through the soft mash to reveal more vegetables underneath. She knew she had to behave like a proper lady even in the face of abject ickyness, though did it have to be potatoes? She meandered carefully around the dish, the fork danced around the plate to its own rhythmic tapping. Unfortunately there was no real way around it, nor over or under it. She would have to muster her courage.

She braved every bite as agonizingly long as needed, momentarily looking like a man home from war. She grinned widely as a half-honest gesture of gratitude as they hovered slowly and methodically for the door, trying not to bring attention to her full cheeks, they would never hide vegetables. That would be improper.

[doesn't enjoy it but would finish it as to not get in trouble]

You find yourself in what can only be described as a suburban ghost town, there seems to be little human activity here. Its unclear if the town has been abandoned recently or was never inhabited to begin with. The air is still and deathly quiet. Despite this, every house on the street and shop in the plaza seems perfectly well kept, even the lawns appear freshly mowed. Everything about this place makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up. You hear whispers and the pitter-patter of tiny steps and in your desperation chase them down into a jovial red cottage where you find your strange new host.

In dire need for some kind of company, you sit in a chair much too small for you and occasionally glance at the bright crayon drawings of a child's bedroom, brightly colored stuffed toys and their beady little black eyes that cast your reflection make for your aquaintances and fellow guests. The Twins hurry back to you eagerly carrying a silver tray with little regard for the spillage.

"Grub's up!!" They cry enthusiastically, "We made tea, though I'm not allowed to use the kettle so its actually apple juice."

The place the tray down with a startling amount of gusto, scattering more food all over the place. Upon closer inspection the tea being poured is in fact, just juice, though Twins insists on still serving it with sugar. The rest is an assortment of processed store-bought sweets and cakes, the only remotely gourmet dish is the club sandwiches, crusts off and filled with mainly American singles. Truly a dish made for an important guest.

Widya looked around for other signs of life, aside from the lagomorphic set of conjoined twins leading her towards the cottage, to no avail. The silence and the atmosphere of the town unsettled her. Her mind strayed to darker, more existential thoughts, but she took a deep breath and closed her eyes, trying to dissuade them. At least the cottage's interior wasn't as dreary; it reminded her of her childhood bedroom. She squeezed herself into the chair, which fitted her poorly despite her already diminutive frame.

She was then presented with some food, which she could guess was prepared by the twins from before. After all, there doesn't seem to be anywhere else around. She immediately dug in as she felt peckish, starting from the club sandwiches and moving on to the desserts. She washed it down with the apple juice - well, she tried to, but the juice was so sweet that she nearly spat it out.

It was not a balanced meal; at least, to her understanding. Where were the vegetables? The meat? The milk? The apple juice might count as a fruit, but the sheer amount of sugar probably cancelled it out. She felt sorry for the twins, as they probably had to learn to feed themselves on their own. She considered offering to cook a healthy meal for them, but now, she needed a glass of water.

A gentle breeze flew across you as you observed the rows of identical brick houses in front of you. It wasn't the most beautiful of villages, but then again, it was meant to house the nearby power plant's employees. You could even see the power plant and its glimmering lights against the evening sky. For some reason, you felt compelled to knock on one of the doors. A small, bespectacled woman in her late fifties welcomed you in and invited you inside for supper. You sat yourself down at the dining table, which was next to the kitchen space. You observed that the kitchen had a very 90s feel to it, with its oak cupboards and granite countertops.

After a while, the woman produced several dishes for you. It looked like a regular meal, but upon tasting, it was quite evident that she replaced a few of the ingredients with 'healthier' alternatives. The rice you were served was brown. The scrambled eggs, which were cooked with sliced yellow onions, were made with only whites. The vegetables (carrots, broccoli, cabbage, onions, garlic, and chilli) were sauteed in water. The chicken, cooked in sambal, was entirely breast. And the brownie was, God forbid, made with carob. Even the milk that came with your meal was low-fat.