Happy Valentines, detective (2020)

“You do know that buying my favorite chocolates won’t change the fact that I’m going to prove you’re guilty no matter what, right?” I say, waving around the box. It was a small heart-shaped box that was pretty expensive, at least from the looks of it. Despite how much I wanted to open it, my facade wasn’t easily broken. I couldn’t look like I wanted it. Why would I give a killer the satisfaction?

Ilorelei chuckles in her seat as she shifts her leg to cross it the other way. I watch as her dress rises up, revealing fishnets hugging her thighs. She laughed at the flushness of my face. “It was worth a shot, I suppose.”

“Where did you even find out that I like these? You don’t seem like the type to be asking around for chocolate.” Nobody at the station was stubborn enough to actually try to prove that Ilorelei was a killer, nonetheless talk to her. So where could she possibly get this information? It wasn’t like I was constantly chatting up the singer either. This was strictly professional.

“You’re right. I just guessed. Now I know.”

Damn.

“If you’re just going to waste time, I’m going to be leaving. Thanks for the chocolates.” Just as quick as I turn around to walk away, a hand grabs my wrist and I resist the animalistic urge to push Ilorelei away. Detective training does a lot to your reflexes.

“No, stay detective.” She urges, tightening her grip. I chew the inside of my mouth.

“What is it?” I ask impatiently.

“Can we take this in my dressing room,” The way she worded it made it more of a demand than a question. Something was off. “You wouldn’t have to worry about security.”

“And what makes you think I should trust you alone? Are you going to seduce and kill me there?”

“Much more the first than the second. But please, I gave you $600 chocolates. Do this for me, detective.” Ilorelei’s countenance was trying to be lighthearted, but from the creases in her brow, she was serious.

It was hard to reject her; now that I knew that the chocolates I was casually waving around like a parking ticket was worth more than my salary this week. Treading down the theater’s walkway, she still didn’t let go of my wrist. The moment we made it inside her dressing room, Ilorelei pressed the door closed, her tinted lips forming a frown.

“This week, the killing wasn’t me.” She starts.

“So you admit that you were responsible for some of the killing then?” I changed my demeanor.

“I’m not saying I enjoy it.” Ilorelei shrugged, sitting herself down by a cracked leather couch. She may have been wealthy, but her dressing room didn’t reflect that. “I’m just trying to prove my innocence for once. Why should I take the blame for a death I had no part in?”

“What are you trying to tell me then? That you didn’t kill McElroy on Tuesday? ”

”Exactly. I didn’t. I didn’t know his name, seat, age, zip. Not until after he died.”

Ilorelei fixes her hair in an effort to distract herself from the story. Red locks entwined between gloved, velvet fingers. “Someone is killing off innocent opera goers.”

“And how do I know this isn’t some alibi to cover up the fact you are picking off the wealthy?”

“McElroy was a poor man. I would have no business in killing a man like him.”

That was true. McElroy was a poor man. Ilorelei’s streak so far has been middle to upper class people that had their foot in some shady company. McElroy, from what I had read from his papers, was a poor man who worked at a factory. He doesn't fit the category of Ilorelei’s victims. Unless that’s what she wants me to think. “Right now, all I can see is an excuse formulated to throw me off. Is there evidence that someone murdered him? He died of a stroke, just like all of your other victims. No use of drugs, blunt trauma, hemorrhage or anything.”

“It isn't me. It could be some god awful coincidence, I hope it is, but I have the feeling that it isn’t. You have to trust me, Detective.”

“You want me? To trust you?” I raise my voice at the thought.

“I’m serious. I can’t trust this case with anyone except you.” If that was the case, then why would I help her? I could just easily report this.

“I’m literally your enemy here. I’m trying to prove that you’ve killed people for god-sakes. Why me?”

Ilorelei sighed, throwing her hands to her face and groaning like someone said the worst pick up line. “Are you dense Mcnamara? Are you dense?”

“What?”

All Ilorelei did was glare at me. I don’t know why but I felt like decaying under her gaze. It didn’t help that she was head taller and literally one of the hottest people I’ve ever gotten in contact with. There was no reason I couldn’t consider her words. Maybe there was a small chance that she was telling the truth.

“Fine,” I sighed, regretting what I was going to say. “I will take your words into consideration. But! Do not think we are on the same side. We are not. If there is a chance that you are telling the truth, I want to make sure whoever is killing these people deserve their justice.”

Upon hearing the words, Ilorelei burst into a wide grin. She almost looked like she could cry. She leaped up from the couch and enveloped me into a hug. I didn’t know how small I was until my face was buried in her chest. “Thanks Detective Mcnamara. I appreciate it.”

I felt my face grow uncomfortably hot. “You don’t have to call me by my last name y’know. Just call me Ryan.”

“That’s a b-”

“A boy’s name, I know.”

Ilorelei pouts, finally pulling me away. “A beautiful name.”

"Oh," I don't know if she genuinely meant it or she was just trying to get on my good side. Then again, it wasn't very often that people would take me seriously because of my name. "Thanks."

“God, I could probably kiss you!”

“Please d-do I mean-d-don’t! Don’t. Please.” I backed away from her on instinct, feeling the heat boil in my cheeks. She just giggled at my awkwardness. Thank goodness. I’d rather her make fun of it than ask further questions.

“If you want one, you know where I am.”

“Thanks but no thanks. Goodbye. Uh, have a good night.” I say, feigning confidence when really, most of it had disappeared from my body. Leaving her dressing room was my number one priority. Everything else can come later.

“Goodnight. Happy Valentines, detective.” She winked, seeing me out the door. The thought of today being Valentine's Day completely flew over my head. Now I knew what the chocolates meant. It was a Valentine's Day gift. And it was $600. My heart couldn’t take it.

-----

“You’re awfully late.”

“Shut up Urien.” I blurt, sinking into my office chair and looking over my expensive possession. I wasn’t sure if I should open it or keep it and save it for a better occasion.

Urien crosses his arms and raises a brow at the box of chocolates. “And where did you get that? You don’t seem like the type to buy yourself overpriced chocolates.”

“You’re right. Ilorelei gave it to me.”

“The opera lady you keep trying to prove guilty?”

“Yes.”

He hovered over my shoulder. “Anything inside? Who knows. Could be a bomb inside.”

“Just shut up and start packing up. You resigned. Now act like it.”

“What a wonderful goodbye gesture.” Urien sighed, picking up a box full of his things. “Just letting you know, if you blow up because of your “chocolates”, I will be alive and you will be dead. Goodbye forever McNamara.”

Good. I say to myself mentally. Urien was a good dude and really didn’t deserve half the shit I gave him but he always knew I was joking. Plus, he’s probably going to ask me to go drinking with him on the weekend so it wasn’t a goodbye forever.

After a minute of fighting with myself I decided to open the box. Carefully unraveling the lace ribbon, I lifted the cover and was relieved to see it wasn’t a bomb. It was just rows of my favorite gourmet chocolates, but right in the middle was a note.

“What the.” I scanned over the note. It was short with a couple of hearts decorating the outsides. It seemed like something a middle schooler would write.

To the dense detective 💖

I hope you aren’t deterred from my gift. It isn’t much, really. If I could, I would’ve bought a bigger box. You don’t seem like the type to enjoy cheesy love notes so instead I encrypted my message into a puzzle. Have fun solving it!

VDB BRXOl VKDUH ZLWK PH RQH ORYH, RQH OLIHWLPH

It didn’t take a monkey with a brain to realize that this was Caesar Cipher code. When I translated the code, I practically collapsed in my hands. I was praying Urien was gone for good so he wouldn’t have to make fun of the beet redness my face was sporting. It was a quote from The Phantom of the Opera. I knew right away because I would jam to it constantly in the shower. "Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime."

I was a fool falling harder everyday.