SNIPPIT WORLD

Brutus felt the shift in the air when Hyun let out her wings, and for a moment, she understood why others shunned the younger creature.

It was acidic, unnatural, the waves of keyaa that emanated from her being.

It hit Brutus like nettles digging into her skin. it settled uncomfortably over her, as if her wool had been doused in oil. It felt itchy, and she clenched her jaw, desperately pushing down the urge to scratch it off – get as far away as possible from Hyun. Her heart thundered a warning against her ribs, screaming at her to move

But for Hyun, she bit down the gut response.

Her limbs shook, tensed, with the effort of keeping her face neutral. A long, measured breath expanded her lungs then pooled out of her. This was fine. She was fine. And Hyun was fine.

“That bad, huh?” Hyun sounded much too small.

Ah hokk, so Brutus hadn’t hid it well enough.

Taking another breath, Brutus shook her head. “No.” Her legs twitched with hesitation as she made her way to Hyun’s side. “I’ll get used to it.”

               Hyun’s exhale was heavy, laced with a resignation and weariness that no 15 year-old should ever feel.

“It’s all right, Brutus.” She could hear the placating smile in her voice. Brutus’s blood boiled at the thought of what Hyun had been through to solicit this response. “I’ll put them away.”

               Oh Brutus had to fix this. She had to fix this immediately.

“Hold on, so you’re saying you don’t believe me.”

A pause.

“Well, I mean –“

“You don’t think I can do it – get used to it – that what you’re saying?” Brutus knocked their shoulders together and only shuddered slightly at the direct contact. She then manifested her best Older Sibling Bullying Voice. “You don’t think I can do it, huh? That’s it, is it?”

Another pause. Brutus could practically feel Hyun’s face screwing up with confusion.

“I – what?”

Breath stuttered in Brutus’s throat as she debated what she was about to say. She hoped, dearly, that it was right move.

               “Just because you’re too much of a little child to comprehend it doesn’t mean I can’t. Really, Hyun w –“

               “HUH??” Hyun’s tail swished furiously against the ground, kicking dust up into the air, clogging Brutus’s nose.  

               Ah good, that was the exact response Brutus was looking for.

“I AM NOT A – you, you zeitspitting hokking sheep. I swear, I swear you think you are such hot zeit but you are not you are dumb and stupid and no one should believe the things you say ever! I bet –“

               “You’re wrong! Truly just simply wrong, Hyun. But then you are all the ti –“

Though on the outside, Brutus wore a smug grin, inside, an intense relief was rushing through her. If she could still make Hyun yell at her for calling her a child, that was a good sign. This was still fixable.

               “I BET, I BET you spend all your time thinking, oho I’m Brutus and I’m so great and smart and –“

“– I mean you really are just tiny, absolutely minuscule. Deities above, Hyun, How do you – you barely come up to my shoulder at that – how do you even do anythi –“

“– and you sit there and stare at yourself and go Lord Renfinus I will do all your chores, hmm yes I am a good little Brutus please give me monetary benefits oh pleas –“

“I can’t HOKKING see, Hyun, I –“ Brutus crumbled into laughter.

-x-

Then, Brutus stilled. Her breath caught in her throat.

She stared, her pulse picking up pace under her skin.

“…Brutus?” Hyun asked, small.

But Brutus was too enraptured by what she was seeing to even hear Hyun’s voice. Seeing. She could see something, distinctly.

(and she could see it before, but was too occupied by that awful, oily itch and cheering up Hyun to actually see it)

Amidst the familiar darkness and the faded, amorphous blobs of keyaa representing lifeforms of her sight there was… something brilliant. Particles of golden dust sparkling into existence. They were shimmering. And they flickered in and out of her view as they swirled and fluttered – as if alive. Which was true, keyaa was, by definition, alive.

Brutus could see keyaa, if she concentrated. But even then, it was faint, more a dull brown or sad, mustard yellow. Still, she tended to be able to feel more than see it.

That couldn’t begin to compare to the eye-searing tapestry of golds and reds she was witnessing now.

Hyun’s keyaa. Specifically that of her wings. The energy pulsed towards her in waves of balmy heat.

The particles were clustered close enough together for them to be definably wing shaped, and Brutus marveled that she could pick out the delicate tips and curls of singular feathers. Never had she seen another lifeform’s keyaa so viscerally – only when creatures performed magic or at keyaa river boundaries was keyaa concentrated enough to appear so blinding.

A tremor ran down her spine. Instinctively, she knew that that was unnatural. No creature should have this amount of keyaa.

It was unnatural.

Unnatural, and incomprehensibly beautiful.

“Brutus you’re kinda – you are,” Hyun gave a tight chuckle, “you are freaking me out a little.”

Suddenly Brutus realized she had stepped forward, closer to Hyun and her wings. Close enough to touch them, she imagined. The keyaa was more intense now, and hot gusts of it pressed against Brutus’s wool, an almost stinging sensation that made her feel a bit faint. Despite their closeness, she felt a tense distance from Hyun. If she reached any closer, she had a feeling Hyun would flinch back.

Brutus reeled herself in. Then she mentally slapped herself, feeling guilty for making Hyun uncomfortable.

“I – sorry.” She ducked her head. “They’re pretty. Your wings – I mean,” Brutus said, strained.

Her brain and her body were not cooperating with one another yet, and she held back a frown because pretty felt like a pathetic descriptor to the wings’ beauty, almost an insult really – but anything else would probably freak out Hyun more. Remembering herself, Brutus managed to stumble back a few paces and give Hyun some space.

“I –You – pretty? You think they’re pretty?” And Hyun did sound almost offended, but likely for the wrong reasons, her voice audibly shaky. She let out a hysterical laugh. “Creatures are always, you know, scared. Scared out of they fur.”

“Oh I’m terrified.” Brutus rasped, breathless, “but it’s you. So I know I don’t need to be. But uh,” and now was her turn to laugh, a little anxious, a little hysterical too, “my body doesn’t seem to agree.”

(Nature, her nature, doesn’t seem to agree. But when did Brutus ever bow down to the laws of nature? to what’s natural? No thank you. Sounds rather boring, in fact.)

And to punctuate that thought, Brutus’s knees gave out on her, and she fell onto the grass in a quivering, feverish heap.

“–Brutus!” Hyun rushed forward, then halted when Brutus let out a distressed humm.

“You closer,” Brutus’s breathing felt thick, just on the edge of labored, “make it worse, I think.” The still functioning part of her brain mused that the fact that she couldn’t talk in full sentences certainly wasn’t a good sign.

“I’ll put them away then,” and the desperate whine to Hyun’s voice was a needle to her heart.

Brutus, with much more effort than it should’ve taken, shook her head. The bones of her neck felt like they were grinding together.

“No I… can get use-“

“You can get used to it later, when you’re not already run down, hokkhead!”

Hyun was already folding her wings away, and though Brutus mourned the loss of that beautiful golden glow as it faded, her body was already starting to relax, her shaking calming into a gentler twitching.

A full breath of air entered her lungs, and she hadn’t realized how dizzy she’d felt until then. She sucked in another greedily. Simply breathing for a moment. Settling back into her skin. The wind felt damp and blessedly cool against her wool.

All the while Hyun was silent. Still standing, tense, a couple steps away – as if afraid to come closer.

“… You can… come here, Hyun.”

She stayed rooted.

Brutus frowned, trying again. “I’m all right. Just my – what do you always say? – my old and ancient body got uh… got put through the wringer a bit. Gotta… bounce back.”

She heard a sniff. And then, so quietly, and voice pitched high with fear, “… you’re not old.”

In any other circumstance Brutus would have laughed, rejoiced – finally, Hyun admits that the ‘ripe’ age of 23 is not in any way old nor ancient.

(Because Hyun knew how her wings made people feel. She knew she made them feel awful and horrified and ill. But it was different when it was someone she cared about, someone who was trying so hard to ignore it and reassure her otherwise. It was different when that someone is Brutus, so clearly in pain)