The Return

The afternoon sun glinted off of the sparkly white untouched snow on the mountain below. The sky was a beautiful blue, littered with long streaking clouds stretching overhead. Two mountain slopes coated in melting snow stood to either side, and the valley below was riddled with tufts of green grasses and yellow spring flowers poking through. It was beautiful. Alexis felt her eyes sting as a light, comfortable breeze blew through her fur. She felt Erik suddenly grab her hand and squeeze it. Her cheeks warmed as she glanced down at his hand in hers, but returned her gaze to the valley.

"It… really is so beautiful..." She said softly, breaking the peaceful silence that had fallen since they'd come down here. 

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// - ERIK

"It… really is so beautiful…" Alexis spoke in a hushed, wistful voice, breaking the uneasy silence that had been weighing on Erik. He looked down at Alexis with worry. Her gaze was fixed unflinchingly on the horizon. He gripped her hand tighter, half of him unreasonably afraid that if he let go she would jump over that ledge again, and that this time he wouldn't be able to save her. 

"I… Wanted to join that beauty..." Alexis whispered, her ears slowly fell and her expression of awe faded. "I thought… well. That day, when I was here, I looked out at that valley, at this place, and -- well I loved it so much I just decided right then and there to join it." She broke her gaze with the horizon and her eyes fell to the sturdy platform beneath them. She spoke quieter still. "I thought… If I can't create… or- or keep something beautiful… then at least I can die somewhere beautiful. And become part of something better and more permanent than I'd ever be." 

Erik wrapped his arms around Alexis suddenly and tightly, holding on to her with everything he had. He squeezed his stinging eyes shut and pressed his nose into Alexis's hair. Oh Alawyr, he did NOT want to lose her.

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// - ALEXIS

Alexis jumped as Erik very suddenly pulled her into a hug, she was stunned enough that she didn't even squirm when he practically squeezed the air out of her. He kept on squeezing but shifted his arms to give her more room to breathe. Alexis relaxed and rested her chin on his shoulder. 

Her mind wandered to that day again, and she realized… she hadn't ever really considered how Erik had been affected by that event. She remembered the sound of his voice screaming her name after she'd already gone over the ledge, she'd barely even heard it in the moment. She'd never heard Erik sound so raw before. A feeling of shame sunk into her gut, dulling the peace she had been feeling.

Erik let out a watery sniff and Alexis pulled back in surprise. He pulled his head back quizzically to see what was the matter, the tears soaking his cheeks suddenly obvious to Alexis. She looked at him with wide eyes, she had never seen him cry before. He pulled her into a hug again, hiding his face.

"I- I'm glad you're not dead Alexis." He mumbled into her hair, his voice sounding hoarse. "I wish I had-" he choked up, unable to continue. She felt him shake his head. "I'm sorry."

Alexis quietly hid her face in Erik's shoulder as she rubbed his back, she was still processing what was happening. This wasn't like Erik at all, it almost didn't feel real. She felt herself start to cry. Dang it. She had been so sure she wouldn't cry coming back here. Alexis sniffed, looking down and pulling away slightly.

"Erik… I'm ready to go now." She said softly. Erik pulled back hesitantly, studying her expression, and wiping away his own tears. 

"...Alright." He said, the strength returning to his voice. He cleared his throat and pulled away from her awkwardly. He reluctantly let go of Alexis's hand, but she held it tight. Erik looked at her in surprise. He studied her for a moment and then gently pulled her toward the stairs.

The two of them turned to leave, Alexis looked down, feelings of guilt spinning in her chest. She hesitated on the top of the steps, turning back for one last look at the mountain overlook. The place she'd tried to kill herself. Erik stopped too, gazing back at her and the overlook beyond her. "Alexis…?" 

Alexis tore her eyes away from the platform, its view, and the memories, and turned her gaze to Erik's face. It lingered on his creased brow and his warm, usually stern eyes. Erik really had been much different in the past year. He'd done so much for her… Alexis smiled faintly. Then, looking back down the path in front of him, she pushed past and pulled him along. Striding down the path resolutely.

"Come on, Dione will get worried. Honestly, the way she acts you'd think I'm the little sister!"

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// - ERIK

Erik was left reeling for a moment at Alexis's sudden turn around. He was sure he looked quite stupid as she pulled him along. He maintained a sliver of worry that she was trying to bury her emotions, to hide the hurt. But something in the look on her face eased his worries. The hurt wasn't gone, it was still in her eyes, and it would still be back. But for this moment a tired but genuine smile broke through. And that was beautiful.

Erik found himself grinning and joking with Alexis as they went to rejoin her sister's family. The weight of her hand in his felt warm and familiar. It felt right. This all felt right. He smiled, and wished he could feel her hand in his forever.