Nightly Talks

It was late in the night before a certain sound aroused her awake holding the book close to her chest and the small tabby kitten on the other. She looked sleepy and lovingly at the little one soundly asleep and feeling the others near her, close to the sleeping bag.

As her eyes fixated on the darkened room she noticed a familiar figure in a certain corner. "Alaric... What are you doing up?" Leonor gently whispered as she started to rise from the way she was laying. Leaving the little one on the pillow to rest and the book near the sleeping bag.

Alaric turned around, and for a moment Leonor's innate perceptiveness caught the sight of his face etched coldly in a brutal splash of pale light, and then quickly a surprised look. In Alaric's hand was a weathered book that he quickly closed. In his other hand though.... was a glow of what looked like pure sunlight (which quickly disappeared as if it was a briefly illuminated illusion).

"Leonor," he stated, in a quiet and calm tone, "you should be resting. Everyone else is. Did I wake you? My apologies if I did."

"No, you're ok..." She waves him over. "I couldn't sleep very well... Took a bit for me to fall asleep. " Leonor noticed the look but decided not to bring it up. "You have no right to tell me to rest if you're up so late yourself," she lectured.

"We have.... probably.... established that I sleep less than others. Especially in tense times. I have been better about my habits though. I'm not exactly that same obstinate from weeks ago; and what have you? Have you been sleeping better?"

Leonor shakes her head. "No I've never been the best sleeper," she laughs quietly. "After having Avery, I'm usually awake around this time to make tea and try to fall back asleep. So it's a routine I got used to. I honestly wished I knew a sleeping spell and used it on myself," she sighed. "What were you doing?"

There is a long pause in the air as if Alaric was unprepared for that direct question. "Well," he replied slowly, "if you must know, I was practicing a new spell. It's called Ray of Dawn and has some interesting effects. I've been, fairly busy studying a lot of these days... from all sorts of different directions."

Pausing again, Alaric asks, "Leonor? Do you think that what that dog book said was true? That there is a chance The Caller whispered a warning, and that his children would be the seeds of destruction to the dreaming world?"

"hmm..." Leonor thinks for a moment. "Do you want to go outside and talk? That way we don't wake the others? She questioned him since she felt this was going to take a while and the others needed more rest than she did. After all, she had thoughts, and talking to Alaric might help.

Alaric has a strange blank look as he replied, “We…. wouldn’t be able to go outside. At all. At least you can’t.”

“It’s a bit of a story but I had to recast Tiny Hut earlier and almost everyone else was asleep. You wouldn’t be able to pass until I drop the spell in the morning.” Cocking his head to the side, he says, “let’s just whisper so the others don’t wake up.”

"Oh! In that case... come close," she waved her hand again. "I don't want to whisper too loudly either." She grabbed the kitten and placed her on her lap and moved over to give Alaric space for him to sit by her.

Looking for a long moment at the kitten, Alaric asks “She.. helps, doesn’t she? Having her presence nearby? It makes you… less scared. Less concerned. More focused on the moment and not the world.” Sitting down, “almost as if when’s she’s there next to you, everything makes sense when you never expected to find her. Nor keep her. Yet here we are… You wake up one day, and she’s resting her head on your chest and somehow even though it’s new, it feels like the most natural thing. Huh. How odd.”

Leonor gets quiet and rubs the kitten's head gently and she gives a small smile eventually. "I wasn't expecting to find her to be honest... Seeing her just made me want to protect her. " She takes a moment, "I named her Malin... Brave little warrior. Just reminds me of when Avery was small and held him, dear, to me and made sure everything he needed was there... " She relaxed almost as if trying to hold back gentle tears. "There is just a lot going on... So many things are changing and with this book and pendant I'm starting to have more questions than answers to things about myself that I don't even know about..."

She takes a moment. "About the Caller... I have never physically spoken with your father so I can't say for sure what his true intentions are and I don't think we will. We have Dark Lords, Dark Powers, and your father expecting things from us and it feels overwhelming."

Alaric is startled for a moment, as he listens intently. Leonor possibly senses that he wasn’t necessarily referring to the cat anymore as a faint flush fades away, on his face.

“Yes. Uhm. Well. Yes. That is a brave name for a brave kitten.”

Noticing her eyes tearing up, he asks, “Leonor… are you okay? What are you feeling right now? Can I ask…. What made you so upset when you opened that chest? What was inside it I can pry……?”

Alaric paused for the briefest of microseconds, as he listened to Leonor's words. His face was emotionless and carefully neutral as the gravity of the situation hung heavy in the air. There was a brief pause of silence before Alaric answered.

"It's understandable that you are feeling overwhelmed. We have had one gut punch after the other. There's a solid chance that we will have more to come, in the past. It... It will not get easier. I wish I could say it would, but we don't know and all of us are scared in one way or another."

Alaric pauses at that. "Being scared is good. It means that we have a lot to fight for and we have a lot to lose. In the past, there might have been moments where I didn't care what happened to me, as long as we 'won' but it's important to note that we don't lose ANY part of ourselves, Leonor. I completely get what you mean. I do. You grew up in Darkkon and you had a set identity and now it seems to be changing all around you."

"May I ask... what do this amulet and crown mean to you, Leonor? I don't know a lot of what it could potentially mean. Can you tell me what this crown of laurels means to you?"

She smiled at the amulet, " I mean I don't even know what they mean, it's an amulet connected to my curse that I have had I guess since birth?" She questioned herself for a brief moment. "The elderberry crown, Silas said it belonged to Cipher's sister when he pulled it out of that dream, I don't understand why Cipher or her sibling would be connected to me. I didn't like Cipher to begin with considering all she did..." Leonor frowns. " So I can't say what they mean to me. As for the crown of laurels, I'm not sure but it's somehow connected to my eye. The last time Vasili checked on me he told me my eye gave him the feeling of Undead kinda like my hand. I don't know if they are connected or not. I can't say. Lots of questions but barely any answers. "

Alaric whirled abruptly; white teeth flashing suddenly in a smile, as he leaned over and embraced Leonor in a tight hug (was it her imagination, or did it suddenly feel like she was being hugged by a statue?)

"I am so proud of you! Do you realize what you just said? You just said that this amulet is 'connected to your curse'" That's a HUGE step Leonor, did you realize that?? I know this is tough to process at times, but deep down you KNOW what is going on. We just... all... needed some time to process EVERYTHING I guess," he sighed.

"Why is it called the elderberry crown? What is it a crown for? Where did it come from? And are you sure that it has something to do with Cipher? Maybe her sister just managed to acquire somehow--just like," as Alaric gestured towards the book in his hands titled--A Guide to All Things Divine--"this book here. It was written by my boss, but I doubt he directly has a connection to the dream world here in Barovia? I think... there is something or someone or some forces connecting everything for us."

"But you are right, we DON'T know everything. So we need to identify what we DO know and what we THINK is right. Would you agree?" Alaric said, frowning at the sleeping form of Paradigm as he spoke. "We need to... identify absolute truths so that decisions that may impact everyone else.... are just acknowledged."

She was shaken for a moment by the way he had suddenly hugged her. However, he felt different from the first time they hugged. "I swear you and your brother sometimes act the same. Randomly doing things that caught me off guard," she laughed quietly and returned the hug.

" I don't know. Like I said Silas was given this Elderberry Crown by Cipher in a dream. Cipher mentioned it was her sister's to Silas. I'm guessing her sister was some sort of Princess or something??? I guess we could ask Silas to recall the dream and see if we can spot something more enlightening than the first time now that we have this information and the book perhaps???" She scratched her head for a moment.

"I do agree... Maybe we can ask the party tomorrow as well and see if we could piece some things tomorrow from what we know of," Leonor suggested. "It feels like we would have more answers if we all sat down for a moment and placed our heads together."

Alaric's face revealed a startled face that disappeared quickly, to resume his bland and emotionless features. "I...don't know if I am that much like my brother. We are shaped by our experiences and I suspect his and mine were somewhat drastically different. But we do share one thing in common, Leonor. We think you are a great person and we care for you (albeit in different ways)."

"Leonor, you don't have an admittedly strong connection, growing up, with this crown and background. But just because you didn't have one THEN doesn't mean you won't have one LATER? Maybe you were meant to restore something? Maybe you were meant to bring closure? Maybe you were meant to discover a story that was lost in time? It's undeniable that this... book. This amulet. This curse is connected to you Leonor"

"When we push you to accept this... I get it. It sucks that others are telling you to accept a truth that is so far-fetched. But Leonor... can I tell you something?" Alaric lowers his voice to a whisper, "the truth is we're scared for you. We don't want anything bad to happen to you in the long run and it hurts us so much Leonor, when we see that... while we don't know what is going on, we can all agree that at least pursuing this path and trying to find out more would give us answers right? And we can help each other or solve problems and answer questions until we accept what is in front of us and work together"

"Can you please let us work with you on this? We want you to let us help you. Please. Just keep an open mind, and.... just accept that MAYBE this could be connected to you.

"Please let us care for you? Please care WITH us."

"You are right. Experiences make everyone just a bit different. Regardless you are still siblings and I for one care for both of you no matter what," she gives him a playful grin. "I miss him... I want to see him and give him a really big hug and tell him how good of a person he is..." She starts to pet Malin. "how happy he made me whenever we just hung out and had fun..." She shook her head. "Sorry... I got distracted there for a moment."

"I'm not sure what I was meant for Alaric, to be honest, but that doesn't necessarily mean I will stop to find the truth. I want to but like you said we are all scared and that includes myself. Finding something about myself that I've never known..." She looks at him for a moment and shrugs. "I've already decided of letting you all help me, I don't want to go on this alone... It wouldn't feel right," Leonor places a hand on one of his gently and with care.

"At the same time we all need to work on things together not just working on my things and I need to learn how to be open with my feelings a bit more."

"And don't worry... I mean only good things when I compare you both," she lets his hand go.

"Besides it would be rather interesting if I ended up being your sister-in-law, especially with Merida at your side."

As Leonor's words hung in the air, Alaric closes his eyes. "Merida. Vasili. Hmm."

Talking out loud, almost to himself, his voice lowers to a raw whisper. "I love my family. So much. I don't even know them yet, but I would do... almost anything for them--HAVE done things that I'm not entirely comfortable with. Almost reflexively, without even questioning things......"

His mouth tightening to a hard-line, Alaric continues staring at the floor between his legs, "I love my brother. But I also want to punch him in his fucking face. God, he infuriates me. I know you care so much for him, and I won't speak ill of him.... to be frank, it's hard for me to speak ill of him. He's never done anything bad to me and if anything, the nicer he is to me, the more irritated I become... I-I think he knows that and is doing nice things for me on purpose. I... I just..... "

Pausing to collect himself, Alaric continues, "He (and Sevastian) make me want to be a better person. Vasili once said that he was growing proud of me--I sneered at him when he said that, but in truth... it made me... feel nice. It felt good, and I guess.... a part of me.. craves the acceptance of my family. I want them to be proud of me...Their advice is pretty impactful. Sevastian for example told me to live life to the fullest with no regrets. And that night... I kissed Merida for the first time..."

"Can I ask you something about Vasili? Can I ask you something about Merida, also? If you're willing to talk about them, that is?"

Leonor listened patiently while he continued to talk about his family. Watched his expression carefully. "You're frustrated because this is the first time you have had a family that cares about you but you don't know how to deal with it."

Leonor smiles when he mentions Merida, "I'm honestly really happy that you two have met. You seem good together when I see you both, it's always nice when you have your partner close to you..." Alaric could see an expression of joyfulness from Leonor but there was a bit of sadness behind it. She shook her head for a moment. "I shouldn't be selfish... He has a lot on his plate."

She turned her look to him, " yeah you may ask? I still don't know much about Vasili but I can try depending on the question."

"Yes."

"You are correct. They also frustrate me a lot..... Lyn.... my sister... she slept with Paradigm. Practically right in front of me. At the most inconvenient time; when we were trying to look for you and chase you down in the carriage. It... bothered me a lot. If she were to sleep with a million people, I wouldn't care. But she had relations with Paradigm and you know what she said after? 'Told you I would seduce one of your friends.' She didn't even care. She did it just to prove a point. And that hurt a lot, that she would choose that just to prove a point over my unease and discomfort. I mean... I would protect her and do whatever I can... but gosh, did that hurt. A lot.

"Vasili.... well. I'll get to him in a bit."

"But Merida...." Alaric begins, with his eyes softening from their masked stare, "I did not expect this. I wasn't... looking for this. It was... tactile. Focused. Just part of the job. And then.... yeah. I took a long look into her eyes and then took another step and another. What do you think her thoughts and impressions (of me) have been, so far? Sometimes I wonder what she sees in me; just another messed-up person in armor, pretending that chivalry and honor and justice still exist in this world. What a joke... But I'm glad she... is still here. That she has stuck with me. I... I'm so scared that she may not have a soul... I mean... I THINK she has one... but how can I be certain?" his voice lowers to a dark edge, and Alaric's eyes gleam with almost fanatical unwavering determination.

"Not everyone in my life, that I have known, has a soul... it's just the odds. But I promise that even if that is the case, I will find a way to spark a soul into life. I swear I will find the answer."

Softening his face again, Alaric turns toward Leonor, "I guess my question is, when was the last time you've talked to them? Talk-talked I mean? Have you... shared with them your thoughts and such? Especially Vasili... I know that the distance is challenging. But how do you two communicate may I please ask? I... I want my brother happy. I want YOU happy. I'm not trying to pry, nor am I saying either of you needs any interference. I just have a vested interest in both of your happiness."

"I haven't personally met your other siblings but that seemed a little wrong of both of them to do that to you. The fact that you protected Paradigm with Baron Metus and still he did that to you and your sister Lyn making it seem like we are toys or jokes to be played with... It gives me a bad taste in my mouth..." Leonor frowns. "Do you want me to punch him? I could punch him for you. I'll make sure it hurts considering I can easily lift doors off their hinges and break locked coffins." Leonor asked a bit excited from his perspective perhaps. "I'm sure with the way she is she could more than likely protect herself. She is after all a Caller kid and from what we know he is the First Serpent. Whatever that means..." She shrugged.

Leonor gets quiet at the mention of people close to her not having a possible soul. "Trust me this isn't the first time I've thought about this... Imagine being raised in Darkon with a mother who may not have a soul, raising Avery who also may not have a soul, and becoming best friends with Merida who may not have one either. I... " She takes a breath. " I don't know what to think... I would love for them to have one and possibly travel alongside us without the worry that they would disappear the moment we step out into another domain..." Leonor rubs her eyes to hold back forming tears. "I want her to experience good things too and travel away from the family that is hurting her. I want Avery to witness new things and get to travel like I am one day. But all we could do is wonder about these things..." She looks up at the ceiling and rests her head on the wall.

Thinking about what Alaric asked. "I haven't talked to Vasili since the night of the ball and I haven't talked to Merida since I walked out of the brothel. But sitting down and deeply having a conversation like this... I don't think it has happened at all. "

She pauses for a moment. "Vasili and I don't have a way to communicate at all. I guess I'll just see him when it's possible. I tried contacting him through a sending before but it seems he wasn't in the domain at the time. It hurts sometimes. I've been used to having someone around and then poof they are gone, and now that I'm with someone else it still feels like I have no one there still. So I don't know... I want something more but at the same time, I don't want to be selfish because I know he has his schedule and things to deal with. I don't want to pressure him but at the same time, I want him to be there so I can hold his hand and enjoy being in his presence," she kind of starts to tear up a bit.

" I want to make him happy but again I'm scared that I might hurt him in the process... " She uses one of her hands to try and hide her feature from Alaric afraid to show any signs of weakness again. Alaric's face shifts subtly and his characteristic smirk returns at the mention of the events surrounding Baron Metus. "PLEASE do not instigate anything against Paradigm on my behalf. That wouldn't be very nice. Admittedly, I thought I would try to extend my courtesies as a friend, but they were not quite reciprocated. That's fine. I don't blame anyone but myself for these situations. I will keep my word though. I'm still going to protect Paradigm to the best of my ability and to defend him. He had nothing to do with the assassination attempt and when I escort him to Baron Metus' household, I will vociferously proclaim his innocence. I don't know how things are done in Darkkon, but if necessary, I would even press the both of them to have a Trial By Combat to decide Paradigm's freedom."

"It's a strategically cunning move. Paradigm is a very powerful fighter, and the Baron's top lieutenants are in a coma. The Baron, would not want any stains on his honor if challenged, so there is a strong chance he would accept and have one of his lesser warriors step in to fight Paradigm"

"Unless of course," Alaric says with perhaps too much emphasis on talking casually, "the Baron were to be open to naming someone as his champion. To step in, to fight Paradigm FOR him--if there were a sudden unexpected volunteer perhaps. Someone who grew up in warfare and may have a potential gripe with Paradigm, but, would come across as being very neutral. Someone who relishes the opportunity for a legalized strike on someone," Alaric's voice drops to a whisper, with a hard cruel smile and hooded golden eyes. "Don't worry Leonor. Two birds, one stone. Promises kept to everyone."

Alaric's face slowly grew colder and harsher until finally, he shakes his head, as if to keep himself from freefalling into cold thoughts. "But yes... it... wasn't very nice of Lyn. I am dreading seeing her again, but when I see her... I'm going to tell her how much she hurt me.... speaking of which...."

"Can I say... that... I think you really should tell Vasili your thoughts that you just told me? He deserves to hear it. He's a good soul. He has been through a LOT, just like you have. Maybe, there's a possibility that he's just as scared and worried as you? That maybe he cares so much for you it's frustrating HIM just as much as it's frustrating YOU? And he doesn't have," gestures to everyone sleeping, "US, Leonor. He doesn't have us to share these conversations. As for the communication... I have a way. For you to communicate to him, I mean. I will show you tomorrow. But you need to get me peanuts and some holly leaves.... but yes, he just waits by himself. For YOU. He's lonely. Yet he doesn't want to share his time with just anyone. He cares strongly for you. Little things matter so much to him. Like, at the ball... I could tell that it bothered him when you pulled away, as Merida and I were trying to walk you towards Vasili."

"I-I think he could make you happy. Very happy. I think you could make him very happy too. But there's already soo much distance and such, that you both need to push to make things work. This means, when things are scary, to try and push past them. The universe is so crazy already as is. Just maybe make things easier for both of you? You don't need any more hurdles, self-made ones. Just.... just let him love you. But you have to let him do that first. He's.. he's so tired Leonor. Just let him have the chance to make you happy."

His eyes moisten until they look like soft pools of liquid gold. "Don't you think you deserve that too? Can you please just repeat to me right now, so I can hear, that you deserve to be happy? Say it just once, please? I will beg you if I have to, Leonor, and I have never begged anyone in my life. But I want you both to at least give each other the chance to love again..."

Leonor breathes for a moment, “ to be honest Alaric, I don’t understand why your brother is so keen on me. I’ve been destroying my thoughts for a while now trying to figure out why or for what reason. I don’t know if it’s because we met somewhere and I just don’t remember, if it’s true that there are past self of us maybe he and I knew each other but I, Leonor, at this very moment do not understand how this gentle and kind man can be like this with me.” Leonor laughs while the tears are slowly rolling down her flushed cheeks. “I’ve been doubting everything and it’s been hurting me a lot more than it’s been solving the issues.”

“I would make the trek every morning from the apartments just to get to spend a little time with him before he has to leave. Just to make sure that I can see him a little every day even if it’s for a few minutes. I’m willing to sacrifice plenty as I have before just to spend some time with the ones I care about and love the most, including him. It’s the fear scratching at my skin that’s not letting me do these things. I wish he could tell me what goes through his mind, large events like that are anxiety-inducing. Did I ever tell you how I started to fall for Teon? It was at a ball not something grand or anything but back then I wasn’t the type to worry about what people thought of me. I was dancing and singing and just enjoying myself but that was the day I started to fall for a masked monster as we danced… I think that was the last time I was able to sing and dance in front of others without feeling like I was constantly being judged. “ Leonor shakes a bit.

“… Vasili has dealt with a lot from what little I know. You perhaps know more than I do but regardless I would understand why you say that he is tired. “ she tries to breathe from her sobbing and her mind thinking of all the things that have happened so far. “ Gods it’s only been two weeks since this all started…” she laughs again. “ I would give anything to talk to him, Alaric.”

Leonor hesitates for a moment and carefully thinks, leaning the side of her head to bump gently against his. “You don’t have to beg me to do anything Alaric, I know you and the others want the best for me, I can feel your emotions just as easily as someone else. I’ve always been like this since I was little… always putting others before my own. It would hurt me to see you beg for something I already know deep inside but I’ve always been too scared to realize it. “ Leonor gets quiet for a moment. “Don’t be afraid to cry, Alaric, for the happiness of others,” she reaches from behind and starts to rub his back. “I do deserve to be happy. I shouldn’t let my past get to me any further as long as I have my friends and the love of my life with me. I promise from now on I will try to be stronger for everyone including myself.” Leonor relaxes against him.

“I do want you to be happy too with Merida, she deserves to know happiness just as much as I do.”

"Thank you," Alaric breathed softly, with his eyes closed. "Not just for sharing but for believing in yourself, and for giving others a chance to witness you believing in yourself."

Opening his eyes again, he gives her a kind smile, "tonight was very scary but you made a lot of amazing breakthroughs. Accepting the amulet and your past affiliation with that crown.... accepting your feelings for Vasili.... that was very brave. We are all very proud of you. I'm in awe. You're like a super-person."

Hugging her one more time, Alaric whispers, "Let's get some sleep now. We have a long travel tomorrow and it's been a crazy night already."

She hugs him and lets him go, “ I think we’ve all gone through our experiences to make us who we are.” She thinks for a moment, “I think you’re an amazing person as well, I wish you would take that to heart too. If you still want to talk about Merida I’m open to it but if you are tired we can always leave the conversation for later.” She reaches in and tries to wipe away his golden tears. “They are so pretty!”

He sits quietly in the dark, unmoving and unflinching; his pale skin and hair making him seem like an inhuman marble statue, "I... would indeed like to talk about Merida. I just... I'll be honest. I feel... so... content around her. And yet guilty. I feel like I've hurled her through horrific scenarios just because she's associated with us. I don't even know how I feel about her sometimes, nor do I know how she feels about me."

Silently, like a river peeking over a golden sunrise, warm tears ribbon down Alaric's face only to be quickly wiped away by Leonor. Still, he sat unmoving, staring at the floor.

"Sometimes I think that I've been very selfish and hope she can forgive me. I never wanted to pull her into danger, and yet it's happened. I don't even know what I could offer her at times and just find myself lucky she's been so patient, thus far."

“You didn’t pull her into any danger if anything you saved her from the danger,” Leonor mentions. “I’ve had to deal with a lot from Teon and I can only imagine what she dealt with while I’ve been gone…” Leonor continues to clean off his tears. “So I am sure she’s grateful that you have saved her from that situation. Plus from what I’ve seen you made her rather giddy and happy.”

“You are a good man for her Alaric and, to be honest with you, Merida can handle herself. She’s one hell of an amazing Druid after all she was the one that taught me and I’m still learning from her. Give her the credit she deserves I promise you she can handle herself, plus we can work together on finding a way for her to have a soul. I would want you to remain at her side,” she tries to edge him on in a positive way.

“Don’t look so down I’m sure you and she can connect a lot quicker if you just ask her. Merida is very blunt and honest so if you ask she will tell you if you are feeling doubtful. Like you told me how I should talk with Vasili, I think you should talk to her as well.”

Frowning slightly, he took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "I'll trust you on this. You make an excellent point. Teon.... he is...," shaking his head, Alaric continued, "I'm sorry that both of you went through what you did. I'm sure a lot of us want to have words with him."

"But you are very very kind to say that. I don't know if I am a 'good man for her but I'll try my best. She's... well. Wow. Well played. Since you said it like that, yeah..... it's hard to say no. I'll take my advice and talk to her when we see each other next. Thank you. Again."

Alaric smiles weakly, wiping his eyes, and leans forward to rest his forehead against Leonor's. "I'm glad you're my friend." Giving her one last hug, he slowly stands up and moves back to his pallet and bedroll for the night.

Leonor bumps her forehead with his, “same here I’m glad I met you when I did… I’m really happy that I have you all as my friends,” she smiles and backs up to let him return to his side. She gives him a small wave before positioning herself to sleep again or tries to at least as she hugs the book and holds Malin, staring out into the darkness of the room. “Goodnight everyone.”