Late night sobbing
It was a hot night, the hottest it had been in months. The AC in the building had broken three days ago and everyone has been suffering and grumpy.
Eclipse sighed as she rolled into her back, hand resting on her stomach. Daring to glance at the clock, the glowing letters reading "2:43AM" stared back at her.
Grunting, she opted to stare at the glow in the dark stars she had placed all over her ceiling. The soft sound of summer wind danced across her room every now and then, providing quick relief before plunging her back into her miserable sweaty state.
Sure, the heat was terrible, they were sweaty and tired, unable to sleep or do anything. But Eclipse was struggling with something worse (in her opinion anyways)
Dysphoria.
Their normal outfits were revealing, not leaving much to the imagination really, but something about lying in bed in nothing but her underwear was worse.
She gently ran her fingers over the long healed scars of her chest implants she got all those years ago. She smiled at the memory of first seeing them, how euphoric she felt, how right her body felt for the first time. She wished she could've felt like that forever. Alas, it's nights like these that crash down on her.
Eclipse couldn't help but remember the day that they left their home planet.
It was late on a summer night, and they were packing their bags while frantically wiping tears from their eyes. Eclipse knew the family wouldn't approve of her, she didn't even want to try and explain it to them. Better off that she just disappear one night and be presumed dead or something.
Zipping up her final bag, Eclipse heard the sleepy voice of her younger brother from behind her. He was so small, maybe 6 or 7 at the time, she couldn't quite remember.
He rubbed his eyes, and asked where she was going. He seemed so confused, still half asleep she was sure.
"Where are you going, [----------]?"
Eclipse frantically rubbed away the tears forming at the memory, she always hated remembering this one.
Crouching down to her brother, she patted his head and assured him that she was going off to a better place. She made no promises that night, she knew she'd barely be able to live with the guilt of leaving, let alone promising her brother she'd be back when she wouldn't be.
That night she picked him up and carried him back to bed. Tucking him in and quietly telling him that they loved him so much, more than anything in the galaxy. Once they were sure he was fast asleep, she kissed his head and left, never to return to their home moon again.
Eclipse rolled over in her bed, letting out a quiet sob into her pillow. She hated the fact that she wasn't brave enough to even see how her family would've reacted. To think that being seen as dead would be better than being disowned. Escaping before they could kick her out. She made so many assumptions, she can't help but wonder what might've happened if she stayed that night.
Gripping her hair, her sobs grew louder as she tried her best to muffle them in her pillow. Why couldn't she just be a boy? Just a boy comfortable in his own skin and his assigned gender. Not a girl stuck in a man's body, one that they had to modify to even look half right. The galaxy was cruel, and Eclipse knew it well.
Eclipse felt the bed dip down beside her. She didn't even bother to look over, she knew who it was. No words were spoken as her roommate, Ophiuchus, gently patted her back as she continued to cry. There was a heavy cloud of painful understanding in the air, and that spoke for both of them.
Ophiuchus stayed with Eclipse until she had calmed down and half dozed off due to the exhaustion. He left for his own room, and Eclipse enjoyed a decent night's sleep all things considered. Staring at the glowing letters in distaste, she sat up and put on her clothes, smiling softly at her reflection before leaving out the door to go to work.