Dynasty of the Dragons : The Glimpse

On the top of the Hill, Casca caressed the chin of Gammyn that rested next to her, her long tail surrounding the figure of Casca while Guts approached cautiously the brunette. It had been hours he couldn’t find her, he feared something has happened, but apparently, it didn’t. 

Gammyn growled at him, scolding his presence that bothered her during her cuddle session with the warrior. Guts chuckled internally : If she didn’t appreciate Dragons weeks before, she definitely caught feelings for Gammyn and Aydeor. Just as he had thought she would. 

“You’re not very discreet, Guts.” He stopped his walk at the sound of Casca’s voice resonating in the calm winter. Her hair flew over her face, but she was kept warm by the body of Gammyn near hers, thanks to her heated scales and the warm clothes she was wearing. 

“I didn’t mean to be, Casca.” The woman laughed. Sardonically, gloomily.  Gammyn crawled against her, brushing off her head against Casca’s chest, who kissed her side while her eyes went onto the Dragon’s. 

“Aren’t you with her ?”

“With… Who?” he asked, questioning about who she was mentioning at the moment. Casca giggled. Was he that naive ? Wasn’t that obvious who she was talking about ? “The Princess. You dumbass.” 

Guts came near her, sitting at the opposite side as if she was a wild animal, he couldn't approach an inch nearer. If she did,  she would just run away or bite him. “What does Maera have to do with this?” 

Casca let an exasperated sigh get out of her throat. “She has everything to do with this, Guts.” she began, searching for her words as the brown-haired Berserker waited for her complete explanation. “The way she looks at you, the way you let her close. You do this with nobody. You’ve done this with nobody but me as far as I know. Was I just an excuse to go back here because you cannot have what you want any more?” she finished, almost teary at the end of her sentence. 

Guts was shocked. Short-taken by the question of the woman he loved more than anything in this world. Sure, things happened between Maera and him. Surer, they had been in love with one another. He was even up to bet she still loved him. But he loved Casca. With all his heart. She was his, he was hers. Or at least, he still hoped it was the case. 

“I’ve never thought about this. She’s one of the very few people I still trust. And she knows magic. Blood magic and Dragon magic. I knew she and her father would be willing to help, Cas’. That’s why I came here, because I can safely say she wouldn’t let us down. Neither backstab us like Griffith’s did. She said she will help you. And I believe her.” 

Casca went silent. Swallowing Guts’s words as they were splitting out of his mouth. Sure, she only had been kind and tender to her. But, she feared. Feared Guts would eventually abandon her. Leave her again. That’d she’d finally be alone as a prey. Maera was prettier, she was healthier, wealthier, curvier. She was kind and thoughtful. She had a gigantic dragon, a healthy boy Casca knew Guts’s must’ve been the father of. How could he leave this occasion for her ? To have a perfect life ? Even as only as a Commander ? 

“Did you love her?” 

The man sighed, patting Gammyn who listened to both humans patiently. “You want me to say truth or to lie?”

She reflected for a second. “Truth. For what, it’s worth hearing.” 

Guts sighed again, trying to form his sentence. To objectify his mind before speaking. He wouldn’t lie to Casca. Never. Never again. And if she asked him to be honest, so he will be. Although, he feared the pain she could feel because of him. 

Again. Because, all he thought he was good for, was to hurt her. To hurt everybody he cared for. 

“I loved Maera. I loved her like I love you. I loved her like I held you. And she taught me love, she taught me affection. She taught me to care and being cared about. She was gentle and sweet to me, always listening when I spoke. She healed my wounds, never asked questions without me allowing her too. When I was with her, I wanted to spend the rest of my life as her knight. Seeing her happy, though, she would have to marry someone else because it is her duty. But it’s in the past, Casca. She never asked me whatsoever to get back with her.  She knows better, and so do I. I would never leave you for a bit of a taste of how my life could’ve been without you.” 

Casca twirled her fingers together, her heart aching at the visions she had of Guts roaming Maera’s insides like he did with her. Him being in love with a woman she perceived perfect compared to her. 

“You could’ve been a King… Being happy with a queen, a child, your sword…” 

“It is not a life I aimed for. I am a wanderer, a knight, a mercenary. Not a noble. Although I loved her, our paths were too different to collide. And she knows it.” 

“And what about the boy?”

“I can’t be his father. You know it. I know it. She knows it. He is a bastard, and all she will be fighting for her whole life when her father will be gone, is to prove his legitimacy to be on the throne when he’ll be at age. To others. She never asked me to be his father. I didn’t even know.” 

Casca swallowed. Of course, he would've said that… 

“Do you plan on telling him, one day?” 

“No. I would ruin his life. He is just a kid, he doesn’t have to get into adult stuff. I’ll let him be. He has a father.” 

“It’s not his biologi-...” 

“Doesn’t matter. He loves him. As long, he loves him. It’s his father. To him, I’m just a big man with a big sword who has protected his mother. And it’s fine like that. Casca, there’s nothing for you to doubt.” 

Guts caught her gaze in his, trying to find reassurance. Casca didn’t know if she could believe him. She trusted nobody before and after the Eclipse… Well, except him. 

“I love you, I wanna hold you all my life. Just us. Together against the world.”