Helpless
She was a leader among her peers. She’d traveled to Kakurishima and toiled until she could return with ten tails and a mastery of the mind element. And yet, Saya could not pull out the memories of those who had vanished and then been returned with unusual changes. She wasn’t sure she wanted to see what horrors were shielded even from her power – worse, she wasn’t sure she wanted to subject the people to their memories as she tried to rifle through them. As Saya gave more disappointing news to the latest troubled citizen that had sought her out, she tried to think of a way to be of more use. Being helpless didn’t suit her.
She retired to the gardens and hoped that some meditation might clear her head. But as she wound through the familiar paths, her thoughts swirled around in angry waves. There had to be something she was missing. She’d never heard of such a thing happening before. It was this thought that gave her pause. Saya stopped in her tracks and clung to it like a lifeline. She’d never heard of such a thing, but it didn’t mean that such a thing had never been recorded in history. And she knew just where to look for such a clue.
Saya hurried out of the garden and turned down various hallways and corridors until she found herself descending a stuffy set of stairs that led to the imperial archives. She wouldn’t be able to just rifle through scrolls at her leisure, but she had a friend who just so happened to be an imperial scholar. She was nearly breathless by the time she reached him, discovering him seated at the center of a mess of books, scrolls, and loose documents.
“You didn’t think you were the first to check the archives did you? The emperor has had me searching practically since the first disappearance.”
She found herself frowning as the stoic bakenomu touched her thoughts and found her intent before she could utter a word. But she was used to his seemingly grumpy nature.
“You know it’s not polite to reach into my head without permission,” she admonished.
“And when have manners ever come between us. If it really bothered you, then you could easily prevent me,” he countered, giving a pointed look at her tails.
“Oh fine then. I’ve had no luck reaching into the memories of the afflicted and surely any written record is just as good – if not better – than memories that may have faded with time or been buried beneath trauma.” She sighed. “Have you found anything then?”
This time Haruki’s frown mirrored her own. Silently, he shook his head. She reached out to him and could see that her own troubles echoed in his thoughts.
“Well, there is a lot to go through in here. With the two of us working together though, we’ll get through this faster, don’t you think?” Without waiting for him to agree, Saya carefully stepped into his pile of work and settled down beside him.
“Do you really think the emperor wants one of the masters of the mind element slaving away in the archives?”
Saya folded her hands in her lap and stared down at them, putting up a wall between her friend and her thoughts. Such a thing was useless as she wore her feelings in plain sight, but she hoped if she could shield them from her friend, then maybe she could even shield them from herself. “Everything I’ve tried has been useless. Their memories are locked up beyond my reach. Please, let me help.” Saya was embarrassed by the desperation in her tone, but she couldn’t stand to do nothing.
Wordlessly, her friend gave her an awkward pat on the shoulder and placed a book onto her lap. With his silent encouragement, Saya got to work. The two worked in silence as they looked through every scrap of paper that might contain the answers that everyone was so desperately searching for.