Hope

1335 AE

 

Biijou sighed over a pot of bubbling stew, gazing into it with a complicated expression etching worried lines into her face. “I wish you would stop doing that,” She said to the human man standing behind her, who was soundlessly fiddling with one of his sharply carved knives. 

Jumping a little, he glanced over to her, then back down at his hands, and then back over to her, brows creased in confusion. “Stop doing what?” Arth asked. “Stop looking at my knife? Do weapons speak to you too? Did it insult you?” He asked, partially making fun of the fact that she can hear his centuries-old enemy in her head. The female asura chuckled softly, glancing over her shoulder. 

“Training Chimera, I mean,” She corrected, still not looking at him. Her shoulders bowed heavier as she delicately stirred her stew, not impatient for his reply. 

He frowned. “...I don’t understand, isn’t it a good thing that she learns how to defend herself?” Another sigh came as his answer. 

“I haven’t said much because Maeve seems to be encouraging you two, and I trust her judgment, but I suppose I just don’t want this life for her,” Biijou explained, sounding uncharacteristically, and inexplicably sad. “I… wasn’t good at what my parents wanted me to be, so learning how to fight so I could work at the Priory to pretend to be a scholar was the only thing I could do to salvage my relationship with them. Chimera, though… I’ll support her in anything that will make her happy. Crafting, research, inventing, arts… I don’t care what she ends up wanting to do. This life, though - always being on the move, always cheating death, always risking everyone else’s lives - It’s not a happy one.” 

Arth was surprised to be hearing this stark honesty from her, but as his eyes landed on her jade-powered prosthetic right arm, he kicked himself for not expecting these sentiments. Biijou always seemed like the happiest out of everybody in this ragtag group… but in the end, she was just as good at hiding her true feelings as the next person. He awkwardly scratched the back of his neck, unsure of what to say. Obviously she was right about how hard it was to always be on the front lines but… “Well… I understand why you feel that way. But, um… It’s a dangerous world no matter where you are, and the fact that she’s not a normal kid puts her in more danger than others her age.” His unbeating heart sank with a little bit of worry. She didn’t think he was overstepping his bounds, did she? “It was the same for Selene with me. It’s only natural that they should know how to protect themselves… just in case…” He trailed off with a concerned look.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” She murmured, throwing in some spices and stirring again, then lifting up the spoon to idly watch the broth run off of it. Her dinner had an amazing aroma of imported dolyak and iboga petals, infused with garlic, onion, bay leaves and thyme… His mouth would have watered, had it not been for the fact that he hasn’t found regular food to be particularly appetizing for a very long time. “I guess I’m more frustrated with myself. I said I was going to protect her, and give her a good life, yet we’re an ocean away from Rata Sum and surrounded by danger and… no matter how much I try, I can’t always be here to protect her. But I still wish she didn’t need to learn this stuff.” 

“I can say… regardless of needing to learn, she looks up to both you and General Maeve a lot, and wants to imitate you two so badly,” He said with sincerity. In the time he’d spent training the kid, she had never shut up about how cool her mothers were. “I assume you wouldn’t want to find her trying to swing around one of Maeve’s hatchets with no weapon discipline?” A wry smile worked its way onto his lips at the image in his head.

Biijou must’ve imagined the same scene, because she burst into a bout of giggles, shaking her head. “Eternal Alchemy, no! Of course not! You’re right.” She inhaled, giving her shoulders a small shrug. “I guess I…  just wish I could give her a better world. Where she doesn’t have to worry about something that wasn’t her choice, where she’s not forced to wield a weapon like I was… Maybe someday we’ll get there… Maybe with the end of the Dragon Cycle, things won’t be so horrible all the time.” 

There was a wistful look on the agent’s face as he gently shook his head. “I’ve been alive for nearly five hundred years... After each triumph, I’ve had that same thought. But peace has never arrived. I’m not saying this to put you down,” He paused, considering his words, “I… just think it’s easier to cope with the unending conflict if you just keep expecting bad things to happen.” 

“I know,” was her heartbroken reply. “But I only have so many years, Arth. I’m not as content to accept that as you, I don’t want to spend the short time I have miserable every day... So it’s nice to have hope, even if I don’t really believe it.”

A long moment of silence stretched between them, broken only by the sounds of the three children, Chimera, Adelasia, and Nemetoria, playing outside. He sheathed his blade.

“I get it. It’d be nice not to waste my eternity by being miserable all the time, too.” 

Biijou stilled, then finally looked at him. Her long black ears swayed with the motion, but her pale pink eyes were fixed on him firmly. Arth couldn’t help but feel unnerved. He’d never seen Biijou so serious before. 

She blinked twice, then looked away, seeming to grow embarrassed. At the quizzical look on his face, a small smile appeared, and she slid back into her usual demeanor. “You look a bit scared right now. Sorry, I don’t want you to think I’m upset with you. I do think it's sweet… Like you said, you’ve been having a difficult time for so long, but you still have it in you to be concerned that you can’t do something as simple as to help my daughter out anymore,” She said in a much lighter tone, returning to her stew. “You’re a lot less cold than you pretend to be. And that takes a lot of strength, I think.” 

Wearing a flustered look, Arth couldn’t think of any single way to reply to the sudden compliment.

“I’m glad she has somebody like you to guide her. Please teach her well, Arth.” 

A burst of warmth exploded deep within his chest, and without knowing why, he suddenly felt like crying a little. This was an expression of pure acceptance and trust from the asura, allowing for the foreign feeling of joy at an outsider making space for him in their world and relationships. It was unlikely that Biijou would ever know how much he appreciated these simple words. He would probably recall them long after the day she dies. 

“I’ll teach her everything I know,” He swore through a tightened throat.

Biijou hummed in response, a warm bittersweet smile reflecting back at her in the broth. 

“Now then, I think it’s dinnertime.”