Robber AU

Whoosh.

Bam

Crash.

"S..Shit. Quia! You said n-nobody else knew about this job!" The young girl cried, dodging broken glass as she rolled away from the falling body.

"Nobody did know about it!" The voice on the headset hissed.

"Tch, if some guy just burst through the window then o-obviously he knows about this job." The girl mumbled mostly to herself as she slipped back into the safety of the shadows, blending in as easily as ever

"Dude. I think I sawh someone." A voice mumbled almost incoherently in the darkness, the light of the moon beginning to illuminate the fallen form.

"Shut up Azaiah, you broke a window for no reason I'm quite sure that if there was anyone, they'd be running to call for security." A second voice spoke in a more dignified fashion, although the dignity most definitely had some anger.

"Ooooohhh! I'm soooooo scaaaredd!" Azaiah whined in a melodramatic manner and brushed himself off from the shards of glass, muttering a curse under his breath as he nicked himself on one of the shards.

The young girl watched quieter from the shadows, keeping her breathing quiet and moved slowly along the wall to get a better angle in hopes of getting closer to her original target, the vase on the stand at the other end of the room - The priceless vase of the House of Cloud. Not that she cared for all the history and crap, really she was in it for the money as she was fairly hard up nowadays.

"Vexzin, darling, are you alright? What's going on down there?" The voice spoke from the headset, causing Vexzin to flinch ever so slightly. One of the boys.. men... guys turned to look in her direction.

"Mathis, did you hear that?" Azaiah said, his curiosity well and truly piqued.

"In a matter of fact.. I did." Mathis said and looked to the shadows, but could not see Vexzin's figure.

"...mmm... Fuck this shit.." Vexzin whispered almost inaudibly and jumped out from the shadows going for the closest figure. Mathis reacted fast, jumping to the side and wincing as the knife going for his throat scraped his arm as he moved, leaving a long and deep cut.

"Bro!" Azaiah was next to be targeted, but he reacted a little slow in shock of the stealthy attacker. Vexzin swiped with her knives, but he ducked down just a second too late as her knife nicked his scalp. He swore and kicked out, catching Vexzin by surprise and knocking her over. She pushed her hands on the ground to keep her momentum going, spinning around with her trench knives in a defensive position.

"Who t-the hell're you?" Vexzin asked, her stutter jumping out, yet her eyes fixated in a glare.

"Whe shhould be asking thhat question you bitchh!" Azaiah said, his words becoming somewhat airy after the intial shock as his blood began to trickle down his face.

"How about you answer me or I'll cut y-your fuckin’ head off! I was here first!" Vexzin said, holding the knives tighter. Mathis looked to his brother quietly and nodded.

"We're the Cat-Burglars, who're you?"

"Vex the Shadowtheif. I ain’t gon call you Cat 1 and Cat 2, do I?" Vex asked, narrowing her eyes at him.

"Correct pronunciation would be, 'I don't have to call you, Cat 1 and Cat 2, do-"

"Shut up! Nobody’s asking you, just gimme your names, a-asswipes."

Azaiah growled. "Whe don't have to tell you anything."

"I'm not KIDDING AROUND!" Vexzin roared loudly causing Mathis to jump.

"Alright! I'm Mat and this is Aza."

"Mat, Aza, get out of here before you join those guards on the floor." Vexzin tilted her head at bloody corpses near a doorway, their throats slit and their faces now frozen in shock.

"Says who? You're outnumbered." Azaiah said smirking.

"You listen to me, you p-punk. I'm not going to h-have traveled a couple hundred m-miles to have found out that s-someone is going t-to take what I want. Y-You leave us alone or I'll-"

"You think that a stuttering kid like you, no punctuation or steadiness in her voice is really going to scare me?" Mathis said raising his eyebrow. Vexzin bit her lip in annoyance and clenched her fists tighter around the knives, the blades beginning to shake in her fury. It would be all too easy to interpret it as nerves, unfortunately...

"N-Now you shut up! I've come too far for this bullshit! Quia! Take the shot."

"But Vex-" She was interrupted by a furious Shadowthief.

"I SAID TAKE IT."

Bang.

There was a moment of pure silence. The two boys turned their head to what had been shot and stumbled back.

"The vase.. you broke it."

"If I can't have it. Nobody can." Vexzin mumbled angrily and leapt up, hopping on box after box as she made her way out.

"You bitch! Get back here!" Mat roared and started climbing up the boxes after her. Vexzin looked down and took one of the smaller boxes, throwing it at Mathis, he hit it away with his free hand and brought his rapier out.

"Get lost, if I ever see you again, I'll kill you." Vexzin hissed menacingly and climbed the few boxes up to the broken window before climbing out and disappearing.

"Fhuck!" Azaiah yelled a little loud. Too loud. There were footsteps of guards.

"C'mon. Lets get out of here." Mathis called and continued to climb but grabbed at his arm. Damn. That cut really hurt.

Vex the Shadowthief, huh... He'd have to look into it. Yeah, him and his brother were new to this, but Shadowthief. Thats not a name you'd hear every day. Could be someone big. Whatever it was, something was up with her.

He just hoped he wouldn't see her again. Something told him that it was true. He's not afraid of her. Nope. Not at all.

Just a stupid stuttering piece of shit.

- - Five Months Later - -

Vexzin leaned on a wall of an alleyway, her eyes fixed to a figure hidden in the shadows.

"Quia, you sure nobody knows about this job?"

"Darling, I'm quite sure that nobody even realizes that its in here, unlessss people go online all the time and hate the sstupid ssun like I do. Sso don't worry. Its easy. The cameras are set to malfunction right about now and they've already called a ssservice man who'm I've gotten taken care of already. All you have to do is waltz in as the repair woman and sssteal the ssshit and leave." Quia finally finished. Vexzin nodded, having spent a lifetime getting used to her sister’s slow and methodical way of speaking with the occasional hiss thrown in. It occurred to her as she finished that anyone else would have gone mad by now.

"Alright. G-give me my tools. Cover me from.. from the roof." Vex whispered  holding out her hand for the red toolbox which Quia obligingly handed to her, her sickly white skin shining in the moonlight.

"Of coursse."

Vexzin moved into the shadows as Quia gave her a hug and kiss and walked out of the ally smiling a little to herself. She looked so ordinary and invisible that it was.. scary.

"Halt." Vexzin stopped on the spot. "ID and Registration please." Vexzin smiled at the security guard and nodded, digging into her red toolbox and coming out with forged papers that Quia had worked on months prior to the final project. They had everything set out. "These papers are written in blue ink."

"H-huh? So?"

"All our IDs are now in red ink."

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Vexzin quickly brought her arm to his neck and pushed on his pressure point, causing the man to gasp and fall to the ground with a small yell of shock. She covered his mouth with her hand to silence it and placed him on the ground. She took his ID and replaced it with hers before walking in through the gate.

"Sorry.." She whispered quietly.

As she entered nobody paid her any mind. She looked so ordinary and unspectacular. Blending in with the background. So ordinary. So small. So insignificant.

So when she noticed them.. wearing the security guards clothes she panicked ever so slightly.

It was those cat burglar twins! What were they doing there? She lowered her head so her bangs covered much more of her face than before. She wasn't panicking. No. Why would she be panicking? She was.. is one of the best thieves out there and she'd continue forever. She isn't a Shadowthief for nothing... She would always be a world - class thief, no matter what happened or who challenged her! Vexzin stared at them quietly and wondered of how to get past them. They were guarding the room that she needed to get into to "fix" the security cameras.

She wouldn't abandon the mission, Quia and Vexzin worked much too hard on this to allow two stupid twins who wouldn't know anything about the basics of stealing fuck up her priorities. She'd been doing it since she was young with her sister, whereas these chumps had been at it for what, five months? She sighed before fixing her work hat and clenching her fist on the tool box more tightly. She walked straight up to them, lexuding false confidence and projecting the image that she knew what she was doing,

"Hhold up, whho're you?" The one on the right spoke, his voice was airy. Vexzin recognized it as Aza. The stupid one. She looked to the other one. Mat. He didn't seem to have any interest in the ordinary girl.

"Repair guy. They called about some problems with the cameras." This seemed to spark an interest in Mat, causing him to look over to her. As soon as he looked at her figure he became rigid.

'Shit. He knows its me.' Vexzin thought harshly to herself. She wondered if she should just knock both of them out and hide their bodies in the security room.

"Alright, Go on in." Mat spoke, and stepped aside to allow Vexzin in. She looked at him for a split second in shock before smiling in fake gratitude. Heh, they weren’t much better at guard duty than thieving, were they?

"Thank you, I'll fix it up and we'll be good in no-time." She spoke in a fake cheery voice. One in which she used to speak in before being a true robber. She slipped past the two of them and shut the door behind her. The three guards who were stationed at the cameras looked up to her in confusion.

"Who're you?" One asked.

"Repair guy. For the cameras." She replied.

"But they're not broken." Now that was another shocker. Quia was great at hacking, what had went wrong? The atmosphere around her become cold and she broke into a sadistic grin, her hands closing around her concealed trench knives.

"Well thats too bad." She slashed at all three men with her trench knives, slicing veins and arteries in a rather unstealthy carnival of violence. They crumpled to the floor, blood already starting to pool around them as they gurgled their last. Unfortunately, she was so caught up in the moment of the kill that only after the deed was done she looked up and saw the camera.  SHIT!

Taking off at full pelt, she dashed off towards the target room. But... the twins were already in the room she was meant to get into!

She went to open the door but it was blocked by a chair. But a chair? Seriously? To a thief of her caliber? She smirked and placed one of her sticky bombs on the door before moving far off. When it exploded it set off fire alarms and sprinklers. In the rush of people she could see on the cameras that the twins were getting confused. She smirked and head off in the direction of the jewels.

She was met by yet another surprise when she entered. A young woman with long dark hair in an elegant dress was staring at the box of jewels behind bulletproof glass.

"Who're you?" Vex questioned, the exertions of running here at full pelt making her breath hard to come by.

"Tearia Walabi." That name...

Quia and Vexzin had looked up quite a few of the rich and famous in their time, but Tearia was one of the richest and most famous of them all. She owned more than a few museums, but far from being a avid historian or artist she filled them with most of her own collection, turning a formerly respectable line of museums into a series of altars dedicated to her own seemingly infinite ego. She was rich with a capital R-I-C-H, and in all the pictures that Vexzin and Quia had seen together, she looked pretty stuck up. It didn’t take a genius to understand why,

"Get out of here." Vexzin commanded, raising her trench knives dripping with blood. A look of shock crossed Tearia’s face and she took a step back.

"Whooo.. are you?" She asked, her voice mingled with confusion and shock and the beginning of an undercurrent of fear.

"Shadowthief." Was all Vexzin said as she stepped forward menacingly, bloodied knives first. Tearia took an overly hasty step backwards in her mounting panic and fell on her behind, all sense of poise lost.

"Keep away, or I'll-"

"You'll what? Listen, I just want those jewels." Tearia to raise her eyebrow.

"For what? I can give them to you iffffff you just ask politely." Vexzin tilted her head a little.

"Huh? Why'd you do that?"

"Well if you've gotten this far you really want it right? So what's the real reason?" Tearia questioned, reaching behind her for a stun gun. Vexzin didn’t notice, too busy pretending to think when in reality she was listening to Quia's orders.

"Me and my sister want to b-buy our land back a-and..and build a new house and keep the bad guys from..from hurting our family.." Vexzin mumbled quietly, but didn’t drop her knives for a moment. Thats when she heard the footsteps coming closer. "Shit!" She cursed and spun around and jumped to the side as a knife came hurling towards her. "Stupid cats!"

"Shhut up you bitch! Stop getting in our way!" Aza yelled.

"How about you stop t-taking my job!" Vexzin replied, dropping a trench knife to throw a smoke bomb at him. He reached out to smack it away but it stuck solidly to his hand, leaving him to stare at it in confusion for a moment before it blasted a cloud of obfuscating smoke in his face.

Tearia took this as a moment to escape and move to as much to the wall and stay as quiet as possible. Vexzin could still hear her but with the objective so close at hand, who wouldn’t keep their eyes on the prize?

Vexzin silently moved to the glass through the confusion, sticking her wad of gum on the glass and gluing her necklace by its sharp diamond point to the glass.. She took a step back before giving the necklace a solid boot that shattered the bulletproof glass.The sudden noise caused everyone around Vexzin to duck down with a cry of surprise. The smoke was still too thick to make out any more than silhouettes of anyone, but the rain was beginning to clear it up. Better get going...

Vexzin picked up her necklace in the rubble, plucking the diamond out of the gum and fixing it back onto the necklace. She opened up the tool box and shoved the assorted jewels into the toolbox before shutting it and running to the faint red light of the Emergency Exit sign, just becoming visible through the smoke. She opened up the door causing the room to change colour in a sudden blaze of red light and drowning everything in the blare of the emergency sirens. She made a break for it, her sensitive ears telling her how far she was from the sirens and thus where she was, letting her make a quick map of where she was. She was thankful that she had studied and memorized most of the map of the building.

She punched at a window, biting her lip as she felt the glass dig into her fist. She shook her bloodied left hand as her right hand kept a strong grip on her remaining trench knife. She went onto the roof and glanced at the other building where Quia was stationed with her own sniper rifle.

Vexzin looked around for an escape route. She needed to either go down or go up. There was nothing on this floor but death, and she needed to get off it pronto. Vexzin bit her lip in a mixture of nervousness and anger, drawing some blood as she heard running footsteps and angry curses from the cat burglars.

"Damn it, Azaiah, where the hell did that bitch run off to?"

"You expect me to fhind her? I couldn't evhen see." Azaiah spoke running after his brother.

Then there was the crunch of glass. "Found her."

Vexzin turned around to see Mat and Azaiah climbing through the window, she froze and her grip on the red toolbox tightened.

"Quia.." Vexzin whispered, hoping her sister could hear over the intercom.

"What is it?" Quia spoke back.

"Can you take the shot?" Vexzin knew that the sun was just behind the cat burglars so it'd be hard to take a shot and not hit Vexzin, but maybe if she threw herself flat...

"No.. I'm sorry. I'll take it if I can." Quia mumbled. and then gasped. Suddenly the line went dead.

"Quia?!" Vexzin called into the headset, all thought of the approaching cat burglars gone from her head. They were almost at her when a crossbow bolt zipped past them and smacked into the wall, causing them to jump back in shock as the bolt twanged in the wall.

"Where are my mistress' diamonds?" A voice intoned with an undercurrent of a very butlery menace.

It’s a refined kind of menace. The kind that Master Jenkins gets after trailing the hall with mud for the fifth time. The undercurrent of a man who is so very prepared to make one’s life a living hell hidden under a thin veneer of class. Master Jenkins would have to have had his pants changed that day.

“I don’t hhave it! That bitchh does!” Azaiah growled and pointed a finger to Vexzin as she looked around in a panic.

“Quia?” Vexzin whispered quietly into the headset.

“She’s unavailable at the-What..? Ew. Oh my god did you just-OW HOW RUDE. YOU DO NOT JUST THROW UP AND THEN STOMP ON A GENTLEMAN'S FOOT.” The voice ranted and continued going on. Vexzin strained her ears as she tried to read the commotion, and could only guess that Quia had thrown up in fright then used her steel heeled shoes to fight off her perpetrator. When the man had finished ranting there was a pause. “Now.. to continue on- huh? Where’d she go?”

Vexzin could only guess that Quia had escaped and she looked back to the twins.

“N-Now listen here.. I-I’m serious.. s-stop following us around.” She stuttered, shuffling backwards and getting close to the edge. The tall building seemed even taller from where she stood, everyone looked like little ants, but she saw her sister running off and knew that there was really only one way to join her.

“Listenh okay? I just whahnt a litthul bit of the jewehls, okay? So if you could jusht hand it over.. it would be much apprecihated.” Azaiah spoke, taking a step forwards. Vexzin stepped back once more, her feet now on the edge of the drop. Azaiah beat a hasty retreat, not wanting to push his payday off the edge. He looked at Mathis, who stepped up and began the task of being the talkdown guy. He didn’t like it much.

“Now uh.. Vex.. no need to be hasty. We just want a small portion of those jewels.” Mat spoke and made no movement. Vexzin looked at him coldly from behind her long bangs.

“I’d rather take my chances with the p-pavement than give you a share..” Vexzin mumbled and shuffled backwards more, her heels now off the edge and floating in mid air. Mathis narrowed his eyes.

“If that’s how you’ll be then so will I!” He yelled and dashed at her, she tried to move to the side but was far too slow, getting barreled off the edge by Mathis as he held onto her arm and fell with her.

“HOLy SHIT Let GO!” Vexzin yelled and tried to kick him off of her hand. He grabbed the toolbox and she tried slashing at him with her remaining trench knife. His arm was hit and began to bleed heavily, a trail of blood arcing out through the rushing air as he let go and grabbed at his own arm. He lashed out with his foot and caught her in the ribs, knocking her back as they continued to fall. Suddenly, they were met with the fabric of the flea market's many banisters and coverings. They fell through fabric after fabric, ripping the canopies before Vexzin finally landed hard on her back, prompting an immediate hiss of pain from the dishevelled Shadowthief.

“Fuck!” Vexzin cried and laid there, trying to regain her senses, sitting up in blistering pain. She was covered in some blood, but she was pretty sure it wasn’t hers. At least, she hoped it wasn’t hers. Vexzin looked over to one side and Quia was there, helping her up.

Quia had a vomit stain on her shirt, and looked paler than usual.

“Comon, we have to leave before the police getsss here.” Quia hissed, putting an arm under Vexzin to support her. Vexzin glanced to the other side to see Mathis, and as another plop sounded on the other side of the street accompanied with screams of vegetable-hunting customers. Vexzin now looked over to the Vegetable Table to see Azaiah was now there as well, lying stunned with his head stuck in a yam.

“We might as well take Cat 2 and Cat 1. Those idiots might as well be good for something.” Vexzin forced out, grabbing at her ribs which had been kicked. She swore, if they’d broken anything...

“You really think I can carry two other people while getting you?” Quia hissed. Vexzin forced herself straight even though she really probably shouldn’t be standing unassisted and nodded.

“Take the bleeding one. I’ll get the yam one.” Vexzin muttered, trying to pass off pain as anger as she headed over to the vegetable stand and extracted Azaiah from the clutches of the dread yam.

“Wake up you idiot. The police’ll be here soon.” Azaiah opened his eyes and sat up, startled by the sound of an angry shadowthief and the fact that he was covered in yam. Oh, and he was alive.

“I’m ahhlive?!” He cried and jumped up, then grabbed at her arm, causing her to lose her balance and topple over. The illusion of not being in massive pain was temporarily shattered.

“Well you’re not dead-AGH. Get off me!” Vexzin cried pushing Azaiah off where he stood up.

“Righht sorry.” Azaiah said scratching the back of his head and standing up before he realized. “Wait you’re the one who-!” He was cut off by Vexzin, who was once more firmly in control of herself, placing a hand over his mouth.

“Shut up. The cops are coming soon, come with us.” Quia interrupted loudly, holding onto Mathis and already half way down the block and still going. Vexzin pushed herself up and stood shakily, trying her damndest to look cool.

“Right, lets go.”

The people in the market were silent or too busy and uncaring, not wanting to get involved at all. This sort of thing happens all the time around here. The theft rate in this dump was somewhere like three hundred percent, seriously.

No one ever said the flea market people were good at math.

By the time that they had reached the run down apartment, police sirens were echoing around the city.

Quia slammed the door shut after dropping Mathis down onto the ground. He hit the ground with the soft fleshy uncoordinated thump of someone who had had any semblance of motor control smashed out of their skull.

“Home s-sweet home..” Vexzin mumbled and took off her sweaty t-shirt revealing her tank top, she then rolled her pants up into shorts and sighed, looking around for something to cool her off.

“Dahm, it's really hot in here, don’t you have an Air Conditioner or something?” Azaiah asked. Quia gave him a deadpan look.

“Does it look like we have an air conditioner?” She gestured to the peeling walls and dust everywhere in the broken down studio apartment. Not even furniture was here. Only blankets on the floor, a laptop, and two paper fans. It’s almost like they’re actually penniless or something. Quia grabbed for both of the fans and tossed one to her sister, keeping the other to herself.

“Hhey! Give me one.” Azaiah asked and sat down, taking off his shirt due to the humidity and temperature in the home and oh hey, whatever he landed in was pretty tasty.

“How aboooooouuuut.. no.” Quia said and fanned herself as Vexzin laid down on the ground, trying not to move. Cracking a rib really hurts.

“Darling.. Can you make our guests some tea and help me out? Idiot Cat 1 broke me a rib.” Vexzin said smiling weakly under her bangs to Quia.

“He does seem to be bleeding pretty bad.” Quia sighed and took out a bag and rolled bandages around and on Mathis’ wound to keep him from bleeding out, before handing Azaiah the fan. “Keep Idiot Cat 1 alive and watch my sssister. I have to get sssome medicine, and then I’ll be back.”

Azaiah nodded, but sort of phased out halfway through Quia’s paragraph. In his defense, it took her a whole minute to say that.

Soon enough Quia returned with a tray of tea cups, all mismatched (Was that #1 Dad on one of the cups?) and a bottle of tablets and pot of water. She handed Azaiah a cup of tea and placed one next to Vexzin. She placed the tray to the side and took one of the pills for herself, downing the pill in one swallow of water. Azaiah raised an eyebrow at her.

“I threw up before, don’t judge.. buttface..” Quia mumbled and coughed a bit into her hand before wiping it on her shorts and pouring hot tea for everyone.

Azaiah shrugged and looked back at his cup, wrestling with the ancient dilemma of the fan and the cup. Stretching back to ancient times, it concerned the sad tale of the man in the sweltering heat of his summer garden, with a fan and a cup of tea. If he uses the fan to cool himself, he cools and ruins the tea, but if he drinks the tea, he remains hot and uncomfortable. This has been recorded as one of the oldest documented Catch-22s in existence.

He stared at his cup and his fan for a few moments, before shrugging and doing both at the same time. And thus, Azaiah solved a riddle stretching back millennia, and the Emperors of Old smiled upon this enlightened scion of philosophy.

No one else in the universe cared. Especially not Vexzin, who was encountering a problem of her own. She couldn’t lift her head to put the tea in her mouth, so she was left drinking from a lying down position as best she could, unable to lift the teacup - oh, dear.

Vexzin is now sat up, clutching at her sides and face as hot tea ran down her face.

“OWWWwW GIMMI THAT.” Vexzin snatched the fan from Azaiah and flapped desperately at her face, trying to wipe and cool her face simultaneously as Azaiah looked crestfallen, his philosophical mastery already a distant memory.

Quia looked at the two with a dull, unamused expression and sighed. “I ssswear. You’re sssuposed to be the older one..” She mumbled, taking one of the many blankets and moving over to Vexzin, patting her face with one corner of the blanket.

“Hey, is Mathis going to be ohkay?” Azaiah pondered, now realizing that his twin was lying unconscious in a position best described as an “anatomical Picasso”. Vexzin shrugged but froze as pain shot through her.

“He’ll l-live.” Vexzin mumbled, and layed back down with the help of her sister.

He glanced over at his crumpled brother, covered with bandages and blood. “If you say so.”

“I’ve had w-worse..” Vexzin raised her hand covered with bloody cuts and scrapes, some glass still embedded in her fist. “Quia’s a good nurse.”

Quia scoffed to herself and brought the bag filled with first aid supplies closer. “I’m only good because you keep getting hurt, sssily one..” She shook her head smiling a small but amused smile as she got to work. Genuinely amused, too, not just laying on the sarcasm as she usually ends up doing.

Vexzin closed her eyes. “Hey.. I can sleep now, right? I don’t think I had any h-head injuries..” She mumbled loud enough for Quia to hear.

“Hmm.. I would sssupose ssso.. only if you don’t have any injuriesss to your head.. You fell pretty hard.” Quia spoke and tightened the bandages before wrapping around Vexzin’s torso, taking off the tank top to reveal just a sports bra. She bandaged all around the chest area and torso, keeping her still. “I’ll wake you up for dinner.”

Vexzin nodded and closed her eyes, her breathing slowed down into a steady pace and soon she was asleep. Quia looked to Azaiah who was now looking at his own brother.

“Ssso, you’re Azaiah then?” Quia questioned, taking Vexzin’s fan and fanning herself with hers and now her sister’s fan.

“And you’re Quia?” Azaiah asked. It got really quiet and they sighed.

“You can sssleep too. I’ll just.. keep watch.” Quia said and stood up, going over to the laptop in the lone corner.

Azaiah shrugs. “Nahh, I’m-”

And then he sees the fans.

“Hhey!” Quia rolls her eyes.

“What now?”

“Hhow the fuck did you get two fans?”

Quia glared at him. “Becausssse.”

“Well, Mihssus Quia, it getssssssssssss mighty hot in here and it’s really kinda mean of you to just use both fans like that.” He glared at her and folded his arms. Quia narrowed her eyes to slits.

“Did you jusssst make fun of my-”

“Sorry, sister, you took too long to talk. My turn.” Azaiah breaks in suddenly. Quia’s eyes go wide in shock for a moment, and she gets even paler than usual. She fights back the retching as best she can, desperate trying to replace the shock with pure volcanic rage.

“Aw, is that envy or nausea th-” He is cut off as an arc of vomit sails gracefully over and hits him direct in the face and his open mouth.

“BLARGHGHAGHLK!”

“N-never.... do that again.” Quia manages, still not feeling too great.

“HLAFKGLUG.” Azaiah is too busy clawing at his face to be coherent. Quia sighs and gets the towel.

After a few minutes clean up, Azaiah wipes the last off it off him and looks up with a rather pale grin. “So, dahling, was that a long distance makeout or - oh, fuck - “

A few more minutes cleanup later, Quia was shaking in barely controlled fury as Azaiah with trembling with uncontrolled disgust. “Well that was enlightening.” He said with a sigh.  Quia was already drinking down her next dose of pills in water, having lost the first one to the vomit incident.

“Are you.. done now?”

“Yeah, okay I’m done. I still want a fan though.”

“Pisssssssssss off.” Quia hissed. She was DONE with subtlety. Azaiah didn’t get the message, unfortunately.

“Really, because as much as they compliment your looks i’m kind of dying here.”

Quia made a sound somewhere between a hiss and a gurgle, talking a few minutes before responding. “Why would I give YOU anything!?”

Azaiah shrugged. “Oh, well, worth a try.” he commented before suddenly grabbing for one of the fans. Quia gasped in shock and it very quickly turned into a retch and -

Both of them were stood, covered in vomit. Quia’s face twisted up into an unholy rage and she shrieked out a “THAT DOESS IT!” before running straight at Azaiah.

“Hhey, can’t we- OOF!” He only had time to get out a half reply before her fist hit his stomach. She grabbed him in a headlock and with the kind of berserk strength her body would hate her for in a few minutes’ time she hoisted him into the air and brought him crashing down onto the floor behind her.

Now, it’s about this time that Mathis woke up. He opened his eyes to see Vexzin lying on the floor, and his twin brother being suplexed through a pillow by a berserk sickly girl who looked kinda like Vexzin and everything was covered in dust, vomit blood and tea.

He takes one look at the scene and puts his head down again, pretending to be unconscious. Can you blame him?

Vexzin is still asleep, she can sleep through just about everything. So much forcing on not stuttering takes it out on her. Her face is still covered by her bangs.

Quia and Vexzin don’t have too many differences, besides that Vexzin covers her eyes with her bangs, and Quia doesn’t. Quia grew them out into side bangs and has much longer hair than her sister.

Azaiah is fascinated, truly. But he is in basically all the pain right now so he REALLY doesn’t care about hair. And as predicted, Quia’s muscles now hate her with the fury of an exploding sun. She lies there, paralysed by fatigue and about five different cramps and pulled muscles for a good minute. Eventually, she manages to speak. “N-now look what you’ve done...”

Azaiah winced. There was only one way back from this. “D-don’t worry, babe, I’m a philosopher.”

“...”

“...”

“What?”

“I... dunno, really. Seemed appropriate.”

“Philosssssophy. What iss thisssss, the Ancient and Elucidated Ssssschool of the Top-Turnbuckle Throwup?”

“I... never specified how approprihate that was.” The Emperors of Old look at each other thoughtfully. Enlightenment in vomit wrestling? Now that could be an avenue worth exploring. One of them offers to get the throat-sticks.

“I -ow- cannot believe ssshe actually took you in...” Quia says, slowly getting to her feet,

“Must be my charming personality.”

“...You have a persssssonality?”

“Cold, dahling. Real cold.”

Vexzin opens her eyes finally and looks around. “Oh.. Quia.. he scared you..” She yawns smelling the vomit. “Y-you’ll have t-to eat more.. or you’ll faint again..” Vexzin comments.

“No he made me mad! Three times! So I threw him into the floor!”

“She did. Ow.”

“SHUT UP! I’M FI- i-- ine...” Quia slumps into a half faint, half awake but still just about there.

“Sh-hit.” Vexzin curses and pushes herself up but stops halfway in pain.

“Huh. Looks like I’m nursemaid.” Azaiah gets to his feet with a wince and bends down at Quia. “But only if I get a fan.”

“F-fuck.... you....”

“...GOOD ENOUGH!” he declares cheerfully as he strolls off into the back and comes out with the medicine bottles and a few sandwiches, Quia eats hungrily as he fans himself in some kind of vomit-covered Zen of contentment. Now that’s philosophy.

Vexzin turns her head to look at Mathis, and sees that he’s awake.

“Stupid c-cat 1 is awake..” Vexzin mumbled and hit him with her uninjured hand softly.

“How were you able to tell?” Mathis groaned a little, opening his eyes, but not turning to look at her.

“I could hear it.” Vexzin replied simply.

“Wait.. where the fuck am I?” He blinks a little, his mind not thinking straight. “Wait..” His eyes fix upon Vexzin as he tries to look around, painfully aware of how hard it is to see things when prone. He pushes himself up into a sitting position and grabs at his stinging arm. “Holy shit! Get away from me you bitch.” Mathis growled and moved away from Vexzin as she just stared at him with a dull expression.

“Well you’re welcome then.” Vexzin replied and covered her nose with her free arm. “Darling, would you please c-clean up your barf? It smells even worse in this heat.”

Quia staggered to her feet and headed out, muttering darkly as she fetches another ton of towels. Azaiah pretends not to notice, fanning himself and becoming one with his chakra, which would be fantastic but he doesn’t actually know what a chakra is so he falls at the first intellectual hurdle.

“Fan the fan and the fan fans you for the fan is balance... something something something...”

Mathis stared blankly at his thief poet-in-arms. “Aza, what the everliving fuck are you even doing? ...And where even are we?”

Azaiah shrugged. “Calm down, grasshopper, the truth shall reveal itself in- ACK!”

A shoe Mathis yanked off his foot cuts Azaiah off, nailing him in the side of the head. He looked around stunned for a few moments before shaking his head. Mathis smiled the condescending smile of someone who was teaching his student how to add two plus two and desperately overlooking the fact his student was 50 years old.

“Better?”

“Muchh.”

“You guys are in our uh.. h-house..” Vexzin spoke and waved her free hand.

“This is a house?” Mathis spoke raising an eyebrow. Vexzin sighed and nodded.

“Its better than nothing, and anyways.. it's just a placeholder.” She mumbled. Mathis looked around the place. It was dusty and there were blankets and towels now sprawled all over the floor. Vexzin was laying on the ground in a sports bra and her pants rolled up into shorts, her torso bandaged so her ribs wouldn’t get worse. Quia was eating as much as she could slowly and carefully.

“Why did you bring us here?” Mathis questioned.

“Why not?” Vexzin spoke shrugging simply and visibly wincing instantly with a hiss of pain.

“What’s wrong?” Mathis asked, a tinge of concern for Vexzin, though he was still pretty upset with her.

“Cracked a rib n-no thanks to you.” Vexzin mumbled loud enough for the older cat burgler to hear. Mathis glared at her a bit where she exchanged a dull look from behind her bangs.

“Tch.. we can go now, lets go Azaiah.” Mathis said and dusted himself off, brushing specks of whatever the hell they have for flooring in this dump off of himself.

“If you go outsside then the copsss will find you.” Quia commented idly, drinking another cup of water and spraying some air freshener around.

“Why would you care about that?” Mathis questioned and looked at his arm for a moment in silence, admiring the bandaging skills. “Why is my arm bandaged?”

“I k-kinda cut you pretty bad and if I left you there then you’d rat us out.. s-so you’re kind of like our hostages.” Vexzin wheezed

Mat opened his mouth to call the whole thing stupid, but then Azaiah cut in with a “That’s genius! You take us hostage so the police can’t come in while the we hold you hostage because- um....”

“Azaiah?”

“Yes?”

“Do you always say the dumbest thing you can think of or are you making a special effort today?”

“I work to imprehss.” Azaiah said giving his brother a thumbs up while Quia scoffed.

“Jussst ssstay here for now... I can’t move my sister much and you guysss have to take responsibility for what you’ve done to her, and me. Ssso watch after her.” Quia commanded as she turned to the computer and began typing rapidly, pausing every so often to snap down a sandwich in a rather serpentine manner.

“Take responsibility? That bitch cut me!” Mathis growled.

“You b-broke my rib.” Vexzin replied almost instantly, shooting a glance like daggers at Mathis. If she had her way, she’d actually be shooting daggers at him right now.

“So? You wouldn’t hand over the- THE JEWELS! WHERE ARE THEY?” Mathis yelled in a panic, suddenly remembering the lost artifacts. Quia let him hyperventilate for a few moments before nonchalantly picking up the red tool box from beside her.

“I have them, and I’m contacting one of my dealersss to ssset the price.. ssso keep it quiet.” She called, her voice barely audible and seemingly robotic, no thought given to emotion or feeling. She was well into her own digital world now, and nothing short of nuclear war would make her look up.

“Keep quiet my ass..” Azaiah mumbled to himself and continued to fan himself with one of the paper fans. Vexzin remained staring up into space past her long bangs, she yawned and closed her eyes after a minute’s worth of hard staring and prepared to go to sleep when -

“What.. what are you doing?” Vexzin questioned, trying to open her eyes and failing due to the sudden influx of light. “Let go of my bangs, it's hard to see!” she hissed as she tried her best to squintglare at the offending cat burglar.

“Hard to see? It should be hard to see with your bangs.” Mathis chuckled. “How the hell do you even see?”

“Its t-too bright without them, let go.” Vexzin commanded as well as she could with a stutter, and swatted her uninjured hand at him. Mathis let go and let her bangs fall back in her face. she opened her eyes fully to some relief.

It became silent again between the two of them, as they stayed like that for a few moments. Mathis sat up, Vexzin lying down, Quia too busy surfing to care and Azaiah humming ‘Puppy Love’ under his breath in the corner.

“So, Vex the Shadowthief, huh?” Mathis began in a desperate attempt to break the silence, and sat down aways from her.

“My full name is Vexzin Alison Quoura.. if you’d like t’know.” Vexzin spoke without any emotional adornment, glad that little episode was over.

“And they called it... Oh, um... Ooh.. a fahncy middle name.” Azaiah replied hesitantly and hurriedly, realising he’d just been caught out. Thankfully, no one noticed.

“Mm. Thanks. A-and thats Quia.. Quiari Xurkis Quoura..”

“Huhwha?” Quia blurted out in non-vomity surprise, looking over her shoulder to the other three people. “Did I hear my name?”

“Yes darling, now go back t-to work.” Vexzin commented and Quia nodded, going back to typing rapidly on the laptop.

“I’m Mathis Deliel, and this space cadet is Azaiah Deliel, it would be a pleasure if under better circumstances.” Mathis said, but soft snores was all that had replied to him.

“Haha. She fell asleep.” Azaiah chuckled.

“Ssshut up, ssshe needsss her sssleep sso leave her alone.” Quia gave a long winded reply, taking deep breaths every few words. Her voice was shaky, and it was clear to anyone except Azaiah, who was examining  the wallpaper, that she wasn’t well.

The vomit, too. That clues people in as well.

“Uh, Miss Quia? Are you alright?” Mathis asked standing up and making his way over to where she was typing.

“Yeah, just don’t bother me. It takesss a while to regain my breath after your ssstupid brother just..yeah I’m going to just nap.” Quia yawned and curled up in her spot on the floor before just promptly passing out. without so much as another murmur. Either she was just that tired, or the poor girl had narcolepsy.

Mathis looked at the two girls with a kind of incredulous disbelief. “They’re putting a bit too much faith in us, don’t you think?” He asked, but Azaiah just shrugged and took the other fan, completely ignoring the toolbox lying right there in plain view.

“You knowh, we can just chill here and then leave with one or two jewelhs.” Azaiah said, giving Mathis a look of ‘I’m not that dumb.’

"Or we could leave now, with all the jewels." Mathis replied.

Azaiah looked at Mathis and gave a little bit of a pout. “But Quiah is soo cute!” Mathis sighed.

“Fine I suppose we can stay a while longer.”