Speaking With The Dead Ex

It was late, the fire was kept fed with wood as Joel sat nearby. The rest of the group was asleep, the Italian having taken up first watch.

He fiddled with the cross on his neck, listlessly watching the fire. Many thoughts kept running through his mind. One being his new ability to speak to the dead. It was unexpected and not something he'd ever think he'd be able to unlock on his own.

His flesh fingers felt the rubies inlaid into the silver along with more of that odd energy that was continuously given off by Harker's personal journal.

Joel hadn't noticed it coming from the necklace til now when thing's were quiet. He didn't understand why the necklace gave off the energy when he first noticed it.

Taking off the necklace and holding it in his flesh hand, Joel looked at it with a melancholic expression.

"Right... I forgot..." Joel murmured softly.

"I shouldn't dwell on the past... But..." Joel stood up and walked a few feet from the fire, just in case. Thing's had been tense to say the least in the days leading up to Mox's death.

As Joel focused on the cross a wispy shadow appears leaning against a tree. "Where... Am I?" Asked James in a harsh English accent

The Italian jumped, turning to face the voice. His expression was worried as he lightly cleared his throat. "...Mox? No... you're James..." he remarked quietly, taking a few steps towards the tree. He left about 15 feet between them.

"It's... Fuzzy.. Joel is that.. you? Where are we? Why can't I hear Mox?"

Joel grit his teeth, hands curled into tight fists that trembled. Hearing this man's voice wasn't doing him any favors. But if he was heading towards one of the biggest fuck ups in his life, facing another was... Well he'd not think about it right now. "James... You're... dead..." Joel replied, each word sounding strained.

James sighs. "Then I.. was put to rest?" The ghost shimmers before he "sits" down.

"So... How can I.. help you old friend?"

Joel sat down as well across from James. His chest ached, a hand gripping his vest. "I... I wanted to talk... And tell you how sorry I am... For how I treated you and Mox..." "Joel.. I don't blame you, you tried to help and what you did actually kept me and Mox from ripping one another apart... Might have stopped us from turning cabal..."

Joel shook his head, the cold making the tears in his eyes sting. "James... I hurt and left him.. and in his pain... went to the Cabal."

"Oh..." James looks down at his 'hands' "I am so sorry.. I didn't mean.." The ghost sighs. "I still don't blame you Joel, you tried to help us.. help me.. and in doing so I had one final friend before I died."

Joel leaned forward, the tears flowing down his face.

"Why are you apologizing?!" he whisper yelled, "If I hadn't been a piece of shit and didn't... If I had handled it better..." Tears dropped onto Joel's hands. "I killed you... Rather I was tricked... it wasn't proper procedure... But I wasn't thinking right... And gave Mox arsenic tea..." "Joel.. I'm dead, I'm with everyone I knew and loved hopefully thanks too you.. I only wish I would have been able to love you the way I wanted.. but that broken fragment that was Mox.. he was unwell."

"I failed as a doctor, James." Joel's shoulders fell, tears sticking to his face from the chill. "I can't describe how much I regret my actions..." He put his hands together, flesh fingers rubbing his wedding band. "I wasn't good for you beyond being your alienist...."

"What are you talking about? Yes some of the things you did was.. wrong." James got up. "So was what Mox did to you. Joel you when you could try to help me past the massive amount of loss I had gone through while others just tried to remove Mox and get me back into service as fast as they could."

Joel lifted his head, choosing to remain sitting in the snow. "I tried... But as I was told... The broken shouldn't try to fix the broken..."

James smiles at Joel, holding his hand out. "As a man once said to me.. only the broken can understand the broken."

Joel paused for a moment then shook his head. Small veins appeared around his eyes before he reached up to grab James' hand with his metal one to stand. "James..."

Joel's hand lands on James, he smiles and says "I'm happy to see that even after everything wrong we did to each other.. you would still reach for my hand if I offered it." "It wasn't you that shot me..."

Joel let go of the specter's hand. He looked behind him at the camp, checking on them for a moment. Plus to see if they were still sleeping. "I suppose I just... can't stay mad..."

"I know that even after that.. if I were Mox you would still take that hand.. his love for you was on par with mine."

"It was... unhealthy..." Joel murmured, now fully keeping an eye on the camp. "I'm... happy you don't hate me... Even if it doesn't feel like I deserve it."

"Of course I don't hate you Joel... I love you, now go back and get some sleep.. Elijah needs you at your best.. I saw you past your worst."

"Suppose it's about time for second watch anyway." Joel glanced at Vincent Hemingway for a brief moment. "Enjoy your afterlife, I hope it's a pleasant one. You deserve it."

"After this war, enjoy your life. You deserve it." With a wink James starts to vanish

Joel sighed, rolling his mismatched eyes after James disappeared. He slipped the necklace around his neck. He looked at Elijah, expression softening with fondness and worry.

"I can only hope..."