Grasping The Indefinable

Cameron rolled onto his back, letting his paws stretch lazily towards the canopy of trees overhead. The warm grass of the stream bank soothed the aches in his joints. He let out a satisfied groan as he let his body sag in relief after the long trek that day.

“I never want to move again,” he said, letting his eyes drift shut.

“It’s only our first day on the trail,” October’s voice drifted over to him, faintly mocking in tone. “You’re talking like you’re a hundred seasons old.”

Cameron cracked one eye open. He leveled a glare at the smaller orange tokota. “Well, right now I feel like it.”

Currently perched on a rock in the middle of the stream, October sent a scoff in his direction without taking his eyes off the slowly flowing water beneath him. He was, in theory, waiting for any fish to go by — displaying a level of patience that Cameron could never relate to. Given how long he’d already been waiting, it seemed highly doubtful there was anything alive in that stream.

“My paws ache,” Cameron said, not quite done complaining yet.

Eyes still locked on the rippling surface of the stream, October muttered, “You really are pathetic, Cam.”

It was the sort of remark that, coming from anyone else, Cameron knew would cut straight through him. He’d heard it too many times from the other members of the pack to be immune to it anymore. Even the thickest of skin breaks eventually.

October knew that, too. He simply didn’t care. Maybe that’s why Cameron never found the same barbs quite as sharp when coming from him. He knew it was never born out of true malice, but rather October’s perpetually insensitive nature. Or maybe it was because he knew October was the only member of the pack who took more jabs and insults from the others than he did.

Wriggling a little on the thick grass beneath him, Cameron pushed thoughts of the pack out of his head. They were going to be away for a while, so he might as well leave all of that behind until they returned. For now, he simply wanted to enjoy the last warmth of the early autumn evening. The seasons would be changing all too soon, ushering in the bitter cold October hated so much.

“Hey,” he said casually, thoughts bounding rapidly from one idea to another, “Do you realize it’s almost Harvest Moon already? It’ll be twelve full seasons since we first met.”

“Yay for us,” October muttered dryly.

“No, but think about it. Did you ever imagine when we first met that we’d end up this close? Or that we’d even still be together after this much time?”

October spared him a quick glance before refocusing on his current task. “What are you on about this time? Of course I didn’t think about it. You were a random stranger at the time.”

Cameron let his eyes fall open again, wanting to watch the shadows lengthen as the sun continued its lazy descent. The forest really was gorgeous this time of year.

“I mean, that’s part of what makes it cool, right?” he pointed out. “We were only random strangers. Think about how many things had to fall into place just so we could end up meeting. A scavenger from the Deadlands and a healer from Larkspur. We were literally worlds apart. It’s like, wildly against the odds.”

An exasperated sigh from his companion brought Cameron’s attention back down from the trees overhead. Out in the stream, October was now fully staring back at him, muzzle scrunched in annoyance.

“Again, so what?”

“So, I think it’s kind of awesome that we still ended up becoming friends.”

“We aren’t friends. I keep you alive. And you… wait, what exactly do you bring to the table again?”

“Okay, now that one actually kinda hurts.” Cameron rolled back onto his stomach, stretching a few more aches out of his legs as he did so. “And we traveled to the soul dimension to save each other, so I’d say we’re at least well past acquaintances at this point.”

“Well, if you’re waiting for me to confess my undying love for you, don’t hold your breath,” October said. His tail twitched in irritation as he glanced again at the water that was obviously not populated with anything edible. “Guess dinner is out of the question.”

“Eh, we’ll find something in the morning. Don’t worry about it.”

While he waited for his stubborn companion to admit defeat, Cameron pointed his nose downwind to catch the change in the air currents. The warm breeze from the coast was drifting through as the evening settled in. It carried a distinct bouquet of autumn scents along with it, which Cameron was sure he’d never grow tired of. It reminded him of the autumn festival where they’d first met.

October was probably right, he realized. They most likely didn’t count as friends. He was pretty sure friends weren’t supposed to be as obnoxious to each other as the two of them often were.

It did bring up an interesting question, though. Cameron had never once tried to define their relationship or put any sort of label on it. Truthfully, he’d never even thought about it all that much.

If not friends, then what? Certainly more than packmates. He was sure he would not trust anyone else with his heart the way he did with October. No, definitely not packmates. And probably not friends. The idea of lovers felt wrong to even consider, since he understood why October could never be that — not with anyone.

Where did that leave them?

“Hmm,” Cameron murmured, half to himself. An idea sparked inside and he raised his voice, “Have you ever heard of soulmates?”

“Excuse me?”

“Soulmates.” He tilted his head, pointing vaguely at the stars that were just becoming visible overhead. “Two souls that are destined to be together.”

October sighed. “Cam, I know I call you a nutcase all the time, but I think you’ve actually lost it this time.”

“My den mother used to tell me stories about it,” he said, not deterred in the slightest. “She said, on rare occasions, Aippaq will join two souls even before they’ve been sent to the mortal world. They’re permanently connected in a way that will forever tie them together. So, no matter where they end up or where their individual journeys take them, they will eventually find each other. They’re like two halves of a whole. Two souls that know each other completely because they have always known each other.”

“I hope you’re aware of exactly how ridiculous that sounds.”

“Nah, I’ve already decided. We’re definitely soulmates.”

“Again, if you’re expecting me to vow my undying love to you, we’ll both be long dead before that happens. I only recently stopped hating you.”

Apparently giving up on his fishing attempt, October finally waded to shore. He roughly shook the water from his coat, paying no heed to the cascade of droplets that spattered Cameron. As dry as his messy coat was likely to get, the smaller tokota flopped down beside his companion.

“I don’t think you ever really hated me,” Cameron told him. “You wouldn’t hang around someone you thought wasn’t worth the time. You don’t have the tolerance for that.”

“I kind of do hate you sometimes, but that’s still a fair point.” He snuggled closer, letting his long tail curl over them both, blocking out the cooling air of dusk. “Why is this suddenly important to you?”

“It’s not,” Cameron said, though he couldn’t be sure how true that was. “I don’t know. Don’t you ever wonder about us? How far we’ve come and how much longer we might have?”

“No,” October stated with a shrug. “I don’t need to think about it. It just is. That’s good enough for me.”

Cameron let his head rest on top of October’s, letting out a tired sigh as his body began drifting along the edge of sleep. “Hmm, I guess it’s enough for me, too.”

“But…?”

“But I still think we’re soulmates. With everything we’ve been through and everything that had to happen to get us here today, it really makes sense. It fits.”

“You think too much, Cam,” October muttered tiredly. After a quiet pause, he added, almost under his breath, “But whatever you need to believe so you can be happy, go for it. Just don’t you dare use that word around the other members of the pack. They’d never let me hear the end of it.”

Cameron smiled as he finally let sleep win the battle and carry him away. “I promise.”