Interplanetary Playboy

I was lost. 

I was lost, but I didn’t mind. The breeze comforted me as I laid in a field, the turquoise blades of grass scraping my back as my dress shirt grew untucked. The weather was perfect, and though I was enjoying the sounds of the landscape, part of me wished I had company.

The prolonged weeks of writing in these journals were getting old. So many pens had run out of ink—so many columns were ripped out and trashed.

It was boring. 

Iinowae had too much drama to write about and honestly, it wasn’t worth the danger.

One wrong phrase, one wrong newspaper, and the Commander would get word and execute me himself. I didn’t belong here on this planet. I didn’t have the luck of having a pale pattern or gradient in my hair—it was obvious that I was Xibagantan.

Despite being short for my species, I was still tall enough that whenever I was out in public, I was overlooking every tense Iinowaen surrounding me. While I was average for a Xibagantan, everything was wrong on Iinowae. My antennae were too long, my hair was too colorful, my birthmark was abnormally shaped, and to make matters worse, I couldn’t hide my illuminated fingertips or ears. Hell, at dusk my hands were practically flashlights.

Trying to fit in was impossible, so I hid in my work, hoping that one-day people would look at me with endearing eyes because of my writing. I could stay behind the curtain knowing that my looks weren’t important in the field. All they needed was the author’s name.

Kaspian Xoldek.

I often dreamed that one day my occupation would make me famous not only on Iinowae, but provide a sense of self-worth once I’d return home too.

I sat up with an exhale while unbuttoning my shirt a bit, the tone of my chest contrasting with the bright fabric. The wind whistled through my hoop earrings as I pushed the bangs of my afro out of my face.

I opened my journal again to a page in the back, clicking my fountain pen as I stared at the lake in front of me which reflected the mint green sky. While Iinowae had similar chemicals and geography to my home planet, I still wasn't used to everything.

Though, wherever this was, it was nice. The clouds weren’t hidden by skyscrapers, and my ears weren’t deafened by cars and sirens. It was peaceful here, differing from Iinowae’s daunting atmosphere due to the Commander breathing down everyone’s backs.

I picked up a flower, examining its purple leaves and vines that stained my hand the longer I held it. I took some notes in my journal before tossing it into the body of water, where it dissolved quickly afterward. Clearly, whatever species this was didn’t thrive in liquid. Weird, for they seemed to surround the shore. I pulled another notebook out of my bag and grabbed a smaller bud, taping it to one of the pages. 

After another hour of trailing the coast and examining the wildlife, I cleaned up my belongings and sat back down. I removed my shoes, stretching in the grass again as I closed my eyes. Who knew how long I’d been here already? I snuck out of Central Command with my university pass and hadn’t stopped walking since. It never crossed my mind since my backpack could fit just about anything—water bottles, journals, various writing utensils, portable meals, and even a recipe book I carried in hopes of finding new dishes. The food I had packed was from my hometown since I’d yet to expand my pallet to Iinowaen cuisine, but it was on my to-do list.

I peeked my eyes open and caught a glimpse of someone walking towards me but shrugged it off. You had to constantly watch your back in the city, but out here you could take a nap in a field and wake up alive and unscathed. I wasn’t the type who enjoyed camping, but given how uninteresting Iinowae had become, this was the next best thing. I had found a comfortable spot and was likely to doze off in minutes, until my brain circled back, and I started contemplating the possibility of someone else being out here. 

I had to just be daydreaming. Maybe even hallucinating. It wouldn’t be the first time.

Nonetheless, I shot up and looked behind me to confirm my thoughts, but boy was I wrong. Despite any reasonable explanation, I locked eyes with a Xibagantan who stood next to me. 

He seemed tall, but it was surely only because I was sitting down, and he was towering over me with a questionable aura. As his maroon hair blew in the wind, I noticed half of it faded to black as it reached his shoulders. We made awkward eye contact for a while, and I waited for him to say something, but instead, he only glared at me.

Against all better judgment, I smiled a bit and patted the area beside me, gesturing for him to sit down. Alas, he neglected to move, which only made him more intimidating. I started sweating while attempting to read him.

He appeared to be upset for reasons I knew not of. Had I done something wrong? There was no telling if he was in a bad mood or if this was how he normally carried himself.

“Um,” I began softly, trying to find my words as I moved my backpack and books aside. “Would you like to join me?”

He furrowed his brow even more. “How did you get in here?” He hissed lowly, ignoring my question.

I flinched at his tone as he towered over me, his figure shading me from the sun. I chuckled, hoping he’d lighten up at my expression, but he continued standing there like a statue.

“Get in where?”

He squinted at me and glanced around for a second, confused. He didn’t elaborate.

I forced another laugh. “A-Ah well, I got tired of doing research in Central Command and made my way here. To be completely honest, I was distracted by all the bright colors and wildlife, and eventually ended up here.”

“Central Command?” The man questioned. “Central Command is hours away from here. No plane or train line stretches this far east. How did you get in here?”

I smiled awkwardly. “In where? Luekavi?” I pointed to my brown hiking boots. “I walked.”

He gave me a weird look. “You.” He pointed to me, and then I placed my hand on my chest. “You walked from Central Command all the way to northeast Luekavi.”

I nodded.

He looked me up and down, though I couldn’t tell if he was disgusted by my appearance or admiring it. Most Xibagantans living on Iinowae adopted harsh characteristics as if they were Natives. I had stumbled upon a few farms in Luekavi but he had city-boy written all over him. I was anticipating him throwing me into the lake at this point.

“How the hell did you leave the city?”

I grabbed my backpack and dug through my things as he continued to stand in front of me. I pulled a card out of my wallet and flashed it to him.

“My school ID.”

His expression never softened, and he refused to look elsewhere, but I could at least spot his confusion. As I was about to put the card away, the man squatted and grabbed it from my hand.

“Hey! My personal info’s on there, ya creep!” I joked, and he stopped reading for a second, looked at me, and then resumed his examination.

I chuckled awkwardly. “You sure are a weird one,” I muttered under my breath.

“This school isn’t on Iinowae. Did you forge this?”

My cheeks began to burn. “What—no! I could get killed for that. And I doubt you even know of all the schools on this planet anyway.” I puffed my chest, though it enticed no reaction from him.

“Yes, I do. And this university isn’t part of my records.”

I snatched my ID back. “It’s on Xibagantu,” I muttered with a blush, shoving it back into my backpack.

“Oh. I apologize.” He returned to his feet.

I rubbed some sweat off my hands, surprised at his words. “N-No! You’re fine! I mean, I’m sure I’d have to explain it to any cop.”

He cocked an eyebrow.

“I mean, most Xibagantans don’t get their hands on gate cards or anything with a barcode that lets you in or out of the city. But…” I leaned towards him, smiling. “You don’t see any Xibagantan cops that often either.”

Knowing the guy, he didn’t laugh. Not even a corner of his mouth perked up. All he did was blink.

“Xibagantan cop?”

I stared at him with a stupid look plastered across my face. Goddammit.

“I’m not Xibagantan. And I’m not a cop either.” He said flatly.

I turned red, or pink for that matter, for my blush had always matched my hair and antennae, as it does with all Xibagantans and Iinowaens. Meanwhile, my color always made me look like a raspberry when flustered.

“But your hair. You’re a gradient, aren’t you? Like me!” I reached out to touch his hair, but he quickly dodged my hand.

“No.” 

He squatted once more and pulled up the right sleeve of his cloak. Or at least it appeared to be a cloak—or maybe a robe. The fabric was black and fell to his ankles, and the sleeves were long as well. Meanwhile, it was form fitting to his torso and crept up his neck, leaving only a diamond-shaped hole where his chest peeked through. He appeared to be wearing shorts under it all, however.

I looked at the side of his arm. There was no birthmark, signaling that he, in fact, was an Iinowaen. 

“Wait so you’re an Iinowaen cop?! You could’ve shot me! Wait—you said you weren’t a cop, so what do you do?” I waved my hand. “No, no, what’s up with your hair? You look like a gradient Xibagantan! Well, in that case too, sorry for assuming your species.” 

I scratched my neck as he finally sat down. He combed some hair behind his triangular ears that had several silver piercings.

“You’re fine.” He said quietly, facing the lake.

He glanced at me as I drowned in the awkward silence. I gestured towards our different hair types be he merely shrugged without any justification. I leaned in, examining his hair with hopes he wouldn’t scoot away from me. Hair dyeing was something you could arrested for thanks to the Commander’s reign, but the Iinowaen had multicolored strands within the jet-black portion of the gradient. I’d seen a lot in my lifetime despite only being in my late twenties, still I’d never seen any gradient including black as an accent. Not for my species or his.

I shook my head, knowing if I kept pondering, I’d only wind up more confused. I patted my lap to a beat in my head, trying to think of something to say. I couldn’t tell if he still wanted me to leave, but maybe I was in the clear since he stopped dreadfully standing over me.

“Wait, so technically if you’re not a cop, you have no right to snoop through my IDs! It’s not like you work for the government, right?” I joked, and he looked at me.

“I do.”

“You do?!” I shrieked, almost jumping a foot away from him. “No way—you’ve gotta be joking!”

He continued to stare at me with the same expression, silent.

I gulped. “Seriously?”

He nodded.

I leaned on my knees and sighed. “Wow. Uh, cool I guess.”

“Does that scare you?” He asked suddenly.

I chuckled and started playing with my hair, holding my knees to my chest. “I dunno. Normally yeah, probably. But you seem nice,” I said and grinned.

His cheeks turned maroon, but he didn’t speak and instead just went, “Mm,” before looking back out over the water.

“My school just said to be cautious of, well, the government. And cops. And people with badges and guns and tinted car windows.” I snickered. “You got those?”

He nodded.

“Seriously?”

He nodded again.

I grabbed my head. “Damn, you’re actually a walking red flag!” I started laughing. “But eh! Me coming out here in the first place was a red flag, so y’know, I sort of brought it on myself.” I flattened my legs. “But don’t take that the wrong way! Xibagantans just hear bad stuff about Iinowaens all the time, so we’re born with stereotypical radars and eyes on the back of our heads to sense potential danger.”

“Well!” I went on. “Not literally, though!” I laughed, pushing up my hair in the back and leaning towards the Iinowaen. “I’ve only got these!” I said and pointed to my eyes.

He chuckled softly. “I see.”

I squinted and leaned closer to him, but he frantically backed away. “Wait, do you have heterochromia too?!”

“Kind of, yes.”

I scooted back to my original spot. “That’s so cool! Your eyes are stunning. A few people in my family have the trait, but they’re old,” I snickered. “I’m the only fresh face with fresh fancy eyes!” I laid back in the grass. “You see, at first I thought it was just a Xibagantan thing, but it’s cool that you have it too. Honestly, I’m used to people being weirded out by them, like my classmates and stuff.”

I exhaled, examining my hand in the sunlight. “Sure, we all grew up on the same planet, but I don’t really click with them, y’know? I’ve never really clicked with anyone, to be honest. I’m not even supposed to be here, or at least not alone.” I lowered my arm as the man looked down at me.

“We were supposed to travel in specific groups, and only certain people were supposed to leave the city to write reports on nearby towns. But here I am, in the middle of nowhere.” I chuckled flatly. “But who cares? I’ve been gone for days, and no one’s even paged me. It goes to show that they really only act nice when I’m in the picture.”

I picked some sticks out of my hair. “But it’s fine. It’s nice to do my own thing and take notes on whatever I want. Sure, I’m supposed to be researching the propaganda spewed across Central Command, but Iinowae is more than just industrialization, confinements, and the death penalty!”

On the stick was the same kind of flower I found earlier. “See! Like this! It stains my fingers purple and dissolves in water!”

The Iinowaen quickly grabbed the branch out of my hand by his sleeve and threw it off to the side.

“Those are toxic.”

I quickly sat up, making sure I wasn’t laying in them. “W-What?!”

He grabbed my hand and wiped my fingers off with his shirt, looking a bit amused.

“Okay,” I chuckled. “But it’s still a cool plant! And there’re so many more cool things out here!” I pulled my hand away and grabbed my journal, flipping through the pages that I’d started scrapbooking. 

“See! These branches change color based on the time of day!” I held my notes up to him, beaming. “Look, look! I wrote here that earlier they were yellow, and now boom! Blue! Isn’t that awesome?!”

I quickly took my book back, flipping through more. I laughed to myself. “Man, why am I showing you this shit? You literally live here.” I closed the journal. “I’m not even doing what I’m supposed to be doing,” I muttered. “At this rate, I’m gonna fail my major. I’ve never even been a plant nerd anyway! Biology bored me all throughout grade school!” 

I laid back down, and he copied me, leaning on his arm. “But…I don’t know. I guess this was someplace new. New places, new people, new life—why just focus on politics? That’s boring!”

“Then why do you do it?” He suddenly asked.

I paused. “I don’t know. For the money, I guess…and so my family would be proud of me too. Journalism brings in a ton of cash back home, especially when the columns are about Iinowae.” I sighed. “But is it worth risking my life traveling between two planets to a place where I’m the minority and people kill my species for sport?” I chuckled harshly, refusing to answer my own question.

“I just wanted to do something cool.” I muttered under my breath. “And for once, it gave me a change of pace. Though, when your colleagues criticize you relentlessly behind your back for things you can’t control despite also being Xibagantan, it kinda takes the fun away. I may be breaking the law. Hell, I may be two papers away from failing grad school, but it’s nice to be free of judgment in…what is this? Luekavi?” I chuckled to myself. “Maybe being alone isn’t all too bad.”

I watched the clouds overhead as the sky grew darker. The breeze blew through our hair, and I heard him breathing beside me. I looked over, and he was still leaning on his hand, watching me.

I faced the sky again.

“Though, I suppose I’m not alone since I have you.” 

I glanced back over, and he nodded.

“Do you have anyone? Anyone you like, or anyone you don’t like? Shitty friends who judge you, overbearing family members with expectations you can’t meet?”

“No.”

I scoffed. “No to all of them?”

He shrugged.

“Friends?”

He shook his head.

“Family?”

He repeated the gesture.

“A-Anyone?! Do you at least have someone somewhere that you like?”

His eyes traced my body. “No. You’re fine, though.”

I blushed, waiting for him to elaborate, but like usual, he stayed quiet.

I smirked. “Seriously?”

“Yes. I work alone.”

“Whaaaat?” I droned, sitting up. “That sounds boring as hell. Still, you do give off freaky loner vibes…wait, but I’m fine?”

“It’s not really boring. It just is. And yes. You’re fine.” 

He avoided my gaze as I peered over him. I grew distracted by the scar under his left eye. It looked painful. What a shame for such a handsome face to have a wound of that degree.

“Hey, what happened to your eye?”

The Iinowaen glanced at me. “I injured it.” He said plainly and looked away again.

“How?”

We made eye contact. “A fight.”

“Were you attacked by an animal or something?” I reached out to touch the area, but before I even blinked, he grabbed my wrist, gripping it as if he was trying to cut off my circulation.

“Ow!”

He quickly let go, turning away from me. “S-Sorry. It happened a while ago, so don’t worry about it. Even so, please don’t touch…it.”

“O-Oh. I’m sorry.”

“You’re fine.”

I leaned over him, smiling a little. “Well, I think it looks cool. It kind of matches your red eye. It’s fascinating,” I beamed and then combed his hair out of his face, which caused a maroon blush to spread across his cheeks and even his ears.

I quickly recoiled. “Shit, sorry.”

“You’re fine.”

“Am I really?” I blurted.

“What?” He sat up a little.

I played with my hair. “N-No, never mind. I’m sorry. I just feel like I’m getting on your nerves. I’m sorry, I promise! I’m just really touchy. I don’t know—it just feels like it’s been so long since I’ve made a friend or met someone who didn’t judgmentally stare me down until I left.”

We locked eyes. “Well, no, I guess you were kind of glaring at me earlier. But I mean, you seem cool with me now! Or maybe not—I’m bad at reading people, I think. I-I’m sorry, I’ll stop.”

“Don’t.” He muttered.

“Huh?”

“You’re fine, seriously. Don’t stop.”

My cheeks started burning, and he looked away.

“I just don’t like being touched, is all.”

“Ah, well in that case, I’m sorry. It’s a habit. Worst case scenario, you can just tie my hands behind my back!” I joked. “I think I have zip ties in my backpack somewhere,” I said and started laughing. “You can hook them together and make handcuffs!”

The man smiled a little. “That’s okay, you don’t have to do that.”

I smiled back. “Alright, well just say the word, and boom! You have permission to temporarily arrest me for entering your personal space bubble! I’ve got lots of useful stuff in my bag, honestly!”

I grabbed my backpack and started digging through it. “Well, er, kinda. I found this rock,” I said and showed it to him. “It’s pink and yellow, like my hair!” I examined it. “Not necessarily useful unless you’re trying to start a fire or maybe hit someone.”

I handed it to him, but as it touched his fingertips, it turned maroon, like his hair and antennae.

“Actually, these reflect the color of Xibagantans and Iinowaens. Kids are known to collect and keep them as pet rocks because if they touched it last, it matches them. Various creatures often use them to camouflage.”

I raised my eyebrows. “What?! That’s so cool!” I beamed and grabbed my notebook, quickly opening to another page and jotting down notes. 

“What else do you know about these?!”

I glanced at him, and he flinched, visibly stumped from being put on the spot.

“H-Huh? Oh. Um.” He examined the mineral. “Well, these are igneous rocks that are mostly found in Rang’s Maw due to the volcanic activity, which is west of Central Command. However, the mountain range you see in the distance over there—” He said and pointed. “—connects to Rang’s Maw. From where we’re facing, if you keep traveling east and follow the highlands, you’ll pass through Bekry and eventually end up in the volcanic badlands, for the mountain range here starts in Luekavi, passes through Bekry and the Maw, and ends up north in the Cherry Tundra.”

“Holy shit, and you just know that off the top of your head?”  

He shrugged with a nod.

“Are you like, a geologist on the side too?!”

“No, I just work for the government.”

I placed my pen down and chiseled off a piece of the rock so I could tape the small chunk in my other book.

“But do you work with the land when working for the government? Do you like, watch closely over continents and biomes?”

“Not really, no. I mainly just know a ton about rocks.” The Iinowaen said plainly, scratching the area around his eyebrow piercing.

I snickered. “Ha! What a nerd!” He squinted at me, and then I laughed. “Yeah, yeah, I know. Meanwhile, here I am taking notes on everything.”

The Iinowaen continued to fidget with the rock as I pulled more things out of my bag, though as I opened the back zipper, an array of insects flew out, and we panicked. Well, me more than him. I mistakenly chucked my backpack at the other guy, and he threw it back at me.

“What the hell, don’t give it to me!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” I cried, cowering next to my bag as the last few creatures escaped.

The man sighed, watching as I frantically checked myself for bugs. Though, as I glanced down, I saw one on my shirt and jumped up.

“Oh my god! Get it off, get it off!! Help!” I screamed, attempting to wrestle myself out of my clothes as the Iinowaen watched me in complete disarray. 

Before he could even lend a hand, I managed to remove my dress shirt, though somewhere along the way, a button went flying and got lost in the grass.

I made awkward eye contact with him, shirtless and flustered.

“Hi. So, I’m Kaspian, and I’m afraid of bugs.”

He didn’t respond and then, to my surprise, took off his robe so that he was shirtless too. I froze, my eyes glued to his abs and how skinny wearing all black made him look. Maybe being toned was a requirement when working for the Commander.

He walked over and handed me the garment.

“Put this on.” He ordered. “It gets dark out here fast. Cold too, since we’re near the water.”

I blushed, holding onto his shirt thing. “W-What? No, you don’t have to do that! C’mon! It’s not even that late!”

He ignored me and picked up my backpack.

“Mr. Iinowaen Sir! C’mon! I have a hoodie in there—I’ll be fine!”

He gestured towards the bag. “In here? This bag that was filled with bugs because of,” he looked inside and cleared his throat. “The Tupperware containers of food that spilled open on your bumpy hike over here.”

I threw on his robe and ran over. “What?! No way!” I groaned as he showed me. “Well, at least I kept that section separate.” I took the bag from him. “I’ll just empty it and wash it in the lake.”

“The dirty lake?”

“Dirty?!”

He crossed his arms. “Well, I wouldn’t wash my bag in it.”

I groaned and collapsed to the ground. “Well then, what am I supposed to do?” I whined as he stood in front of me with his leather shorts, thigh garters, and chains like some grunge high schooler.

I continued whining about my food and books, and as he turned away, I noticed the birthmark on his left arm. If I had any reason to believe he was still Xibagantan, that perfectly refuted it. However, scars surrounded his symbol and covered the portion where his name and birthdate should be. Not to mention, I swore I’d seen that symbol someplace else.

“Hey, what’s your name?” I asked and stood up.

He glanced back but didn’t respond and instead took my bag. “Follow me.”

“Wait, where are we going?” I frantically grabbed my stuff and chased after him since his walking pace was way faster than I expected it to be.

“Hey! Mr. Iinowaen!” I yelled out and eventually caught up with him, struggling to hold all my books and trinkets. “Where are you taking me?”

“Inside.”

“What? Inside where? I like being out here!” I exclaimed. 

“We’ve been out here for hours, and look,” He said and raised his head to the sky. “It’s getting dark.” The green tint the atmosphere usually held had already begun quickly fading, as we were slowly surrounded by cool tones.

“I don’t trust you not to get lost out here, and you’ll never find your way in the dark. Nights last long on Iinowae.”

“I’ve survived other nights—I have a tent!”

The man glanced at me, and as we stood near each other, I noticed that I was decently taller than him.

“Stop walking so fast!” I insisted, but he kept going. “Hey!”

I huffed and then stopped moving, causing him to look back.

“Kaspian.” He began.

“You’re not allowed to call me that if I don’t even know your name!”

The Iinowaen groaned. “Be like that then, Xiba.”

“That sounds derogatory!”

He rolled his eyes, but I continued to stand there. I glanced at my hands and feet and noticed I was glowing in the dusk, and thanks to my luck, my embarrassment made it brighter. The Iinowaen walked back over and ineptly stood before me. He had my backpack thrown over his shoulder and awkwardly fiddled with his hands.

“What?” I asked, mildly ticked off yet still a bit amused.

He hesitantly grabbed my hand. 

“Just…” He trailed off and started walking again, dragging me behind him. 

“Mr. Iinowaen Sir,” I groaned.

“I just don’t want you out here alone, especially now that I know that you’re out here with infested supplies and no clothes,” He mumbled, gripping my hand as he walked.

I could feel his pulse and it was so fast that I wouldn’t be surprised if he passed out. 

“O-Oh.”

I paused and then chuckled. “Well, in the meantime you should at least give me a name to call you.” I teased.

He stayed quiet.

“What about Scarface? Your scar is cool as hell, and you have a ton of them. Or Scar-arm!”

“No.” He said plainly.

I clicked my tongue. “How about Heterochromia? Or Maw—like Rang’s Maw with the rocks!”

I swear I heard him snicker as he turned me down again.

“Okay fine. Luekavi? Since that’s where we are?”

“No.”

“Hm, what else have we talked about,” I muttered to myself. “Or…” I sneered. “What about Abs? Since you’re absolutely ripped, which I wasn’t expecting. Do all government officials have that build?”

“No and no. Also, you have muscles too.”

I laughed, watching his antennae sway in the wind, their color contrasting from the twilight.

“Yeah, but you look like you could punch a hole through my body!”

“I wouldn’t do that.”

I laughed some more, swaying our arms. 

“I thought you didn’t like touching people. Should I just call you a liar?” I snorted. “Oh my god, no, that’d be so mean!”

I continued coming up with potential names—all of them terrible. I couldn’t see the Iinowaen’s face, and though it was unlikely that he was doing so, I kept imagining him smiling at my ideas.  

“Y’know, what about Kassalin? I’ve always thought of it as my doppelganger name.” I gasped. “Do you wanna be my doppelganger?!” I beamed, and he glanced back at me.

“We look nothing alike.”

I stared at our hands, rubbing my thumb against his skin, though it caused him to pull away. He wiped his palms on his shorts.

“Ah, sorry,” I mumbled awkwardly.

Then he grabbed my hand back. “You’re fine. My hands were sweaty,” He mumbled.

I grinned at him as we kept walking. “Anyway, we could just dress up as each other! Like, I’ve already got your cloak thing, and I could perm my hair whereas you could curl yours. Oh! And we could swap earrings, and for like a day you could be a journalist, and I could do whatever it is you do for the government!”

I kept rubbing his hand as our arms swung. 

“But I guess I don’t have many clothes that you could wear. Well, I could go through your wardrobe and design an outfit for you based on my fashion sense. That could be fun!”

I ran up next to him so he wasn’t dragging me as much, and I could see his face. I continued holding my things while trying my best not to drop any stuff.

“Okay, okay. I can’t see your face, so I don’t know if you’ve repeatedly been rolling your eyes, smiling, or have just been ignoring me. I uh—if I’m talking too much, you can tell me, and I’ll stop, I promise. People often…tell me that. I like to ramble. I’m sorry.”

He looked at me, still holding onto that blank expression like he had all day.

“You’re fine.”

I clicked my tongue. “C’mon, is that all you say? The most I heard you talk today is when you explained those igneous rocks! I’m serious!”

“So am I.”

“I-I feel like I’m pissing you off.”

“Kaspian, you’re not. I promise.”

I gulped. “So, I’m not talking too much?”

“No, you’re fine. You can talk as much as you’d like.” He said and then continued looking forward.

“R-Really?” I felt my cheeks burn.

“Yes.”

I smiled and looked down as we walked through the grass. Both of us were barefoot, and I found it a bit funny since his pigment contrasted with the plants, whereas the only thing that stood out from me in the darkness were my pink toes.

The same went with our hands. I looked so different from him. I guess it made sense, for we were born on two different planets. Though it was nice to know that under its dark, judgmental demeanor, Iinowae had a few kind souls like him. Weird, but kind.

“You’re really nice,” I said softly. “Thank you for listening to me.”

“Mm.”

When I looked up, we were finally on the pavement in front of an enormous mansion.

“Where the hell are we?! Is this still Luekavi?”

“Yes.”

He let go of my hand, and we followed the path to the door, which took way longer than I expected. I probably should’ve put my shoes on, but I didn’t know the lake was so far from wherever this was. Hell, I didn’t even see the building in the distance from where we were previously.

“How long were we walking for?”

The man shrugged as we got to the door. 

He stopped in front of a camera where a mechanism scanned his iris, specifically the scarred one. It sounded like a million locks were being undone before the double doors opened, and we finally walked inside.

I stood speechless in the middle of the foyer as the Iinowaen kept walking. He gestured for me to follow him.

“No, no, no, wait a minute. Do you live here?!”

“Yes.”

I almost dropped my stuff. “What?! How much did this place cost?! And why are you here alone in the middle of nowhere?! And how did you even find me out there—do you just wander Luekavi for fun? Because that’s a big ass continent!”

He continued walking upstairs, and I chased after him.

“It was a hand a hand me down, I like being alone, and I got an alert that somehow someone made it onto my property, but my camera radius wasn’t big enough to identify you, so I went out to look for myself.” He stated as I followed him down the hall.

“That lake was part of your property?! God, you’re fuckin’ stacked! Why didn’t you just tell me that first—I would’ve left! I wasn’t trying to trespass!”

“Kaspian, calm down.”

“I can’t calm down! You’re a rich federal employee, and I’m a broke foreigner doing a terrible job at excelling in journalism who was trespassing on the awesome land that led up to your awesome mansion!” I yelled, only to flinch as my voice echoed off the ceilings. “I feel like such a loser compared to you.”

The man walked into a room with several sinks, shelves, and other water facilities.

“Is this a bathroom?” I asked as he carefully emptied my backpack onto a table.

I had always wanted to live in or tour a mansion. I never understood how a family or in this case, one person, could make proper use of all the space. How many rooms were there? What were they for? Although the Iinowaen worked for the government, I doubt the pay would allow anyone to live this lavish. Even as a hand-me-down, paying the bills must suck.

He turned on the sink and began to fill it with soap and hot water, soaking my bag after it was filled. Afterward, he started washing my food containers as I stood there, dumbfounded.

“No, that’s down the hall. And you’re not a loser.”

“But your life seems so extravagant! I’d love to be you for a day—c’mon, let me call you Kassalin!”

“It’s really not.” He mumbled and cleaned up my mess. “And you wouldn’t, I promise you. It’s not as great as it seems.”

I sat on a nearby stool. “What? Why?! You can’t say that when you have like, what? Ten million acres of land?!”

I spotted him smile. “That’s an exaggeration.”

“Shut up!”

The Iinowaen sat my containers on the shelves to dry and turned off the water. He left the room, and I continued walking behind him, not bothering to grab my stuff since my arms were exhausted.

“C’mon Kassalin! Tell me! What’s so bad about this life?”

“Don’t call me that.” He said as I ran up and grabbed his hand again, just for him to jump away. “N-No, that was a one-time thing.”

I clicked my tongue. “Seriously?! Don’t lead me on like that!” I droned playfully, but his response was predictably flat.

“Lead you…on? The hell does that mean,” He mumbled under his breath. “Also, why do you keep yelling?”

“Because my voice echoes!” I shouted and started running down the hall, laughing as my outfit blew in the wind I created. “This is so cool!” I turned around, expecting the Iinowaen to be far behind, but he was practically trailing me, and I jumped at the sight.

“Holy fuck! How’d you catch up so fast?! Your footsteps are insanely soft.”

He didn’t say anything and just chuckled. I continued running the down the hall, and as I turned the corner, I shouted, “You’re so weird!”

“You passed the bathroom!” He shouted back.

“What?!”

I ran back around the corner to find him standing by another set of large doors.

“Oh no, don’t you dare open those. If the bathroom is bigger than the size of that other sink room, I’m gonna cry.”

“Don’t worry, this is the biggest one. The other ones are slightly smaller.” He explained with a smirk before the double doors slid open, and I froze.

“Slightly smaller?! What the hell, man!” I ran in, almost cracking my skull as I slid across the tile and lost my balance.

The bathtub and shower combo looked like a pool and even had a little waterfall and fountain. And even in TV shows, this was the first time I’d seen a chandelier in a bathroom.

“Kassalin!” I beamed.

The man leaned against one of the many pillars accessorized with sheer curtains and neighboring lights hanging from the ceiling. He watched me, quite amused.

“Call me Eustace.” He finally said.

“Eustace?!” I asked, now with an inflection to compliment my yelling.

“Eustace!” I proceeded to shout, only to stop in my tracks. “I don’t know what else to say or what else to do. Honestly, I think I might pass out on this blinding white tile. Why did you bring me in here?”

“To shower. Or take a bath or whatever. You’ve been outside for days, correct?”

I snickered. “Oh yeah, duh. Okay. Okay, cool!”

I tossed Eustace his robe and ran over to the shower. I fiddled with the faucet and settings in my baby blue jeans, mistakenly wetting up one of my pants legs somehow. I heard the Iinowaen chuckle, but when I looked back, he acted as if nothing happened.

“I’ll be back with a change of clothes.” He said before leaving me in the bathroom to make a mess.

I had to have spent at least an hour in there, turning on the heated floors and all the waterfall settings, even though I didn’t know there were multiple. I eventually took a shower, but it was like being in a movie. I felt like a prince. And if I were royalty, I’d change the light settings and have a concert in the rain—so that’s what I did.

I had fogged up the glass so much that whenever Eustace came in, I didn’t see him, and he likely didn’t see me. However, he probably heard me singing my heart out to Xibagantan folk songs like a true foreigner. Still, I doubt my weird behaviors phased him all too much now.

I laughed at my reflection as I dried off. 

I showed him a rock, for heaven’s sake! And then had him talk about said rock. Still, that was the most I’d heard him say all day, which was a shame given that he had such a nice voice. His was deeper than mine but I wasn’t sure if it was his accent that stood out instead. Hell, the last thing I wanted to imagine was how I sounded on his end. 

Eventually, I dried off and did my hair, finally putting on the clothes Eustace left for me afterward. Both the sweatshirt and shorts felt like a blanket, but I wondered if he picked out the pastels just for me since imagining him anything other than black made my brain hurt, although I barely knew him. Nonetheless, I liked how bright colors looked against me. Maybe he felt the same.

After getting dressed, I noticed a handwritten note sitting on the counter. His handwriting was a mixture of cursive and print, all slanted, but it was still legible. Honestly, it looked like the script of someone who lived in a mansion.

‘I found these in my wardrobe and figured you might like them. If not, please let me know and I’ll retrieve something else. I’m in the dining room. Press the pentagonal button beside the main doors in the bathroom, it’ll display a map. I’m on the first^t floor. Please don’t get lost. 

Yours truly,
Eustace’

I followed his directions and found the map, but it was foreign technology to me, and I was still confused. I brought up a directory so I knew to at least make a right out of the room, but little did Eustace know, I sucked at reading maps. He should know, for I ended up in his backyard by mistake.

Still, I eventually found him. Oddly enough, every room had that pentagon button, so every few doors I passed, I revealed the holographic map to ensure I was going the right way. 

I spotted Eustace leaning on his arms at the end of the dining room table, but he perked up when he saw me. He hadn’t put his robe back on, but he had changed into a two-toned turtleneck and some sweatpants. No longer could I stare at his distorted birthmark.

Just as in the hallways, the ceilings were high and adorned with glass chandeliers of different sizes. I wanted to be distracted by the view of the night sky through the enormous Palladian window, but I couldn’t help but notice the two other chairs at the table. Since it was long enough to almost fill the room, the spacing made them stand out. Eustace sat at the head of the table and further down resided two chairs across from each other.

Maybe he wasn’t alone in Luekavi after all. 

“Ah, you’re back.” The Iinowaen said, his antennae glowing a bit brighter as he looked at me. “You…got lost, didn’t you?”

I snickered and walked over to his seat. “Nah. I mean, I did backtrack a bit, but all those maps helped. Though I can’t imagine your electric bill since those screen projection things pop up in every room.”

“You looked in every room?”

I shrugged. “Maybe like half? I just wanted to make sure I was going the right way.”

He cocked an eyebrow and then shook his head. “Sure, whatever works. Did you have a good shower?”

“Definitely!” I beamed. “That bathroom is awesome! I mean, I didn’t mean to spend an entire hour in there, but I felt so elegant. And I thought hotel bathrooms were top tier.”

He nodded. “I’m glad you liked it.”

“Oh! And thank you for the clothes! And the note! And your hospitality in general,” I said with a laugh, fiddling with my earring. “I was always told not to talk to strangers but hey, not all strangers are bad! Or at least you haven’t killed me yet. Maybe you wanted to wait until I was clean or something, I don’t know.” I messed with my damp hair. “I’m not sure about people’s preferences or techniques for murder.”

Eustace stared at me in confusion, but I got to see him smile again.

“You’re odd.” 

I rubbed my neck. “Yeah, I get that a lot. Sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. It’s a good odd.” He stood up.

“A good odd? Really?” I asked, blushing a bit.

“Mm. Anyway,” He continued. “Both your clothes from earlier, your backpack, and your food containers are all drying. While you were showering…for an hour…I made you dinner.”

I perked up. “What?! You made me dinner—you didn’t have to do that! Eustace!”

He shrugged. “I’ll be right back.” 

After watching him disappear out of the dining room, I stared at the table set-up again. I grabbed one of the chairs in the middle and dragged it over to where Eustace had previously sat. Luckily, he didn’t seem to mind as he returned with a plate and utensils and placed them in front of me.

“This looks so good, oh my God,” I muttered, trying to be polite, but I ended up stuffing my face anyways. “What about you, though?” I attempted to cover my mouth.

He sat down. “I already ate.”

“Oh, duh. That’s fair,” I snickered and used my napkin. “Also, you’re amazing at cooking! This is the first real Iinowaen meal I’ve eaten, and it did not disappoint. But that could just be because you’re a professional chef.”

His antennae glowed brighter. “I-I’m really not but thank you. That’s nice. But…” He went on. “How long have you been here for?”

“On Iinowae?” I mumbled, trying not to talk with my mouth full. “About two months now. The study abroad period is for about half a year.”

“Ah. So, you still have a ways to go.”

I smiled flatly at my plate. “Yeah, and I’m already bored.” I sighed. “Or at least bored when I’m following the damn rules. But rules are important on Iinowae if I wanna live to see myself graduate when I get back to Xibagantu. Being free-spirited sucks,” I whined.

“I see.” Eustace leaned on the table, continuing to watch me eat. “Do you want anything to drink?” He asked.

“What are my options?”

He shrugged. “Anything.”

I grinned, twirling my fork. “Okay, surprise me, then!”

“Uh. Okay.” Eustace grew stiff as he awkwardly surveyed the room before standing up. By the time he came back, I was already almost finished eating. Knowing that I was rationing my meals while hiking through Luekavi, I think I had convinced myself that I wasn’t as hungry as I thought. Hence, now I couldn’t put my fork down. 

Eustace returned to my side and handed me a glass of something pink. As he sat down, I took a sip.

“Holy shit. Sparkling dragon fruit lemonade?”

The Iinowaen nodded.

“That’s awesome! You’re figuring me out pretty well! Fuzzy pajamas, lemonade—I can’t wait to see what’s next!”

Once I had cleaned my plate, Eustace cleared up my place at the table but after returning from the kitchen, he stood behind his chair, oddly examining it. All the upholstery I’d seen so far was timeless, but after he kept avoiding my eyes, I realized he was merely fidgeting. 

“Um,” He began, eventually breaking the silence. “So, would you like to stay the night?”

I lit up. “What? Hell yeah! I haven’t had a sleepover in ages!”

“A…sleepover?”

I shot out of my seat and stood beside him. “Yeah! Y’know, when you sleep over at someone else’s flat. Honestly, sleep isn’t even involved. Instead, you stay up watching movies and having pillow fights and playing truth or dare, and then finally go to bed in the middle of the night after passing out from exhaustion. I haven’t had fun like that since grade school.”

“Truth or dare?” Eustace asked, still confused.

“Yeah! It’s when you ask your friends weird questions or dare them to do weird stuff, and vice versa.” I glanced at him, realizing he only looked more lost than before. “Wait, have you never had a sleepover before?”

He slowly shook his head. 

“Like, not even as a kid?”

“No. I didn’t have any friends who hosted such impractical activities, and my family would’ve never let me indulge in such a thing anyway.” He stated.

“What?” I exclaimed. “Man, that’s so boring!” I placed my hands on my hips. “C’mon! Let’s have a sleepover! Go put on your pajamas—unless that’s what you’re sleeping in—and let’s stay up late!”

“Um, maybe another night Kaspian.” Eustace stepped back a bit as I jumped up and down. “Today’s been a long day.”

I sighed. “Ah damn. I was so ready for you to pick truth—I have so many questions to ask you! Like how exactly did you get your hands on this house? What are your hobbies? What exactly do you do for the government? Do you ever leave this house and go to the city? What happened to your arm?” I followed him out the dining room.

“As I said earlier, it was passed down to me. I spend most of my free time working, and yes, I go to the city quite often.”

I walked beside him and pursed my lips. “You didn’t answer two of those,” I said with a smirk.

“Yes, I’m quite aware.”

“You’re so unusual.” I teased.

“So are you,” He said as I followed him up a few flights of stairs. Eventually, we were at another set of double doors, and when he opened them, I held my hands to my mouth.  

“Holy hell. Don’t tell me this is your bedroom,” I whispered, yet all he did was smile.

The bed, a king bed to be specific, was against a wall in the middle of the room, surrounded by windows that reached the ceiling. Everything was black and white, including the sofa and the console that held an enormous flat screen. There were an array of plants and photos scattered everywhere, but the geometric architecture made everything look futuristically royal. There were countless unique floor and ceiling lights, though I could only imagine what the sun looked like through the windows, for the moonlight was already beautiful.

I pointed to the bed. “Is this where your pretty privileged ass sleeps?!”

He snickered. “Um. Yes. Though, you can sleep there for tonight.”

“What?! What about you?”

The Iinowaen turned down the lights. “Don’t worry about it. I have some work to attend to, so I’ll be getting to bed late anyway. Feel free to make yourself comfortable.”

I looked at him. “Eustace are you serious?”

“Yes.”

“Eustace.”

“What?”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. “What do you mean, ‘what?!’ Why are you so damn generous—you just met me today!”

He hesitated. “Yes, but I’d rather share my riches than hoard them.”

I rolled my eyes. “Then why isn’t anyone else here? You’ve said many times that you’re alone and that you like it. You’re clearly a loner, so why do you want anything to do with me? I feel so bad! Unless you’re interested in my reports or horribly written analyses of Luekavian fauna, I have nothing to give you…what do you want?”

“No one has managed to get this close to me or my residence before, though I figured something had to be good about you since you were harmless.” Eustace combed his hair back, his cheeks tinting maroon as he tried to explain himself. “You ended up here by mistake. You had no desire to fight me, kill me, or challenge my authority.” He looked me over. “You don’t need to give me anything. I just wanted…to see what it felt like to have company for once.”

“Has anyone…besides you ever stepped foot in this house?”

He paused. “No. Aside from you, today.”

“Wow…” I trailed off.

“Please don’t feel bad, Kaspian. I just wanted to experience something normal for once. It comes naturally to commoners,” He glared at the ground. “I got bored. Tired, even. I wanted to at least try a friendship, even if it only lasted a day.”

“Kass,” I muttered.

“What?”

“You can call me Kass…if you’d like.” I flashed him a smile. “That’s what my friends call me. I don’t want this to be temporary either. Trust me, I get it. Tired of the same stale routine?” I forced a laugh. “Or the same lonely routine? It’s been a while since I’ve had a friend too. And someone to really talk to.” I mumbled.

“O-Oh.” The Iinowaen seemed saddened that I shared his pain of enduring a dissatisfying lifestyle. “I see. Well, thank you for talking to me today, Kass. It was nice.” Eustace said softly, his face and ears maroon.

“I-I can talk to you tomorrow too if you want! Trust me! I never run out of words!”

The Iinowaen smiled. “I’d like that.”

I returned the expression and ran over to him, grabbing his hand. He flinched as I pressed it against my cheek.

“I know you don’t like being touched but since you let me hold your hand earlier, I hoped I might get you to let me do it again?” My cheeks burned as I chuckled. “A-And I know you said it was only a one-time thing but…this is my way of saying thank you.”

Eustace stood frozen in front of me, stunned, but as I held him, he eventually loosened up his hand to cup the side of my face. I closed my eyes for a bit, melting into his warm touch, as he eventually began to caress my cheek with his thumb. His hand was trembling, but I could tell he was trying, for even after removing my own, he continued to hold me.

I gazed at him softly. “See? It’s not that bad right?”

The man slowly nodded, locking eyes with me for once ,and I laughed softly as he eventually lowered his arm.

“Um, thank you, again.” His blush only increased as he rubbed his palm. “Goodnight Kass.”

I grinned as he made his way back to the door and smiled at me.

“Of course. Goodnight Eustace.”

—

That morning, I awoke to the sun drowning me and the entire bedroom. It was more beautiful than I imagined as the light reflected off the many glass trinkets and shiny pieces of furniture surrounding me.

I don’t think I’d ever slept so well in my whole life. Not as a baby, not in the car—for some of my best periods of sleep seem to have taken place during road trips. I wiped some drool off my face, squinting as I attempted to look around and figure out where the hell I was.

This bed was way comfier than those at the hotel where my colleagues had been staying. Sure, they were in the middle of the city and had a fantastic view, but there was no way they’d allow several disorderly Xibagantans to reside in the best resorts of Central Command.

I scratched my hand, rubbing the soft fabric that covered my arms as my eyes finally adjusted.

That’s right—this was Eustace’s room.

So that wasn’t a dream.

I really did stay the night in a mansion. Maybe that was what gifted me such a refreshing rest. Something about the size of this bed, the memory foam mattress, the scent, and the entire atmosphere of this room was just so soothing.

I collapsed back down and took a deep breath, stretching like a starfish across the bedspread. It was amusing how despite my wingspan and height, my limbs still never reached the edge.

Suddenly, I retracted my arms and legs and sat back up.

If this was Eustace’s room, where was Eustace?

After stretching again, I finally got up and investigated my surroundings. He wasn’t on the couch or in the closet. I looked under the bed—no one there either, despite how easily you could probably hide someone underneath. This house would be perfect for hide and seek.

I made up the bed after my search went awry, and attempted to comb my fingers through my hair, yet it was so tangled from rolling around during the night that I could barely get my hand past my roots.

I moseyed over to the directory by the door and pulled up the map of the mansion, just like in the bathroom. However, Eustace left no note to tell me where to go. I tapped the screen several times in several different areas, but without a destination, it was useless. My destination would be him, but I didn’t know where he was.

I walked back to the bed and stood by one of the windows, gazing outside. This house made me feel like royalty. It was like I was in a castle. I could see the top of Central Command in the distance and the buildings being illuminated by the morning light.

Part of me wondered what my classmates were doing or if they were looking for me, but part of me didn’t care. What’s one less Xibagantan in the group? I’m sure the dean didn’t care—everyone’s probably more worried about watching their ass and not getting shot.

I glanced at the night table that my backpack was propped up against. That wasn’t there last night, at least not from what I could remember. I sifted through my books, leaves, rocks, and other miscellaneous trinkets. I guess it had finished drying and Eustace left it for me. Everything was there, even my food containers. I was dying to make it up to him, but I didn’t know how.

I ran back to the entrance and threw open the double doors. After surveying the hall, I scoffed and just started walking. I hummed a quiet tune as I wandered down the corridor, occasionally opening doors while hoping to find my Iinowaen, but I had the worst luck. 

On the other hand, I found the biggest wine cellar I’d seen in my life, along with an array of uniquely designed offices and small closet-like rooms, all filled with a few novels. Yet it made sense—since Eustace was always alone, reading was likely a good pastime.

Eventually, I ended up at the end of the hall of whatever floor I was on, and stopped at yet another foyer. It resembled the mansion's entrance but was still uniquely beautiful.

I spotted another one of those pentagon buttons and pulled up the directory again, wondering how the hell Eustace got around this damn house.

I got ahold of a search engine and, unsure of what to do, just typed in “Eustace.”

It loaded for a second and revealed a dot on the map. Yet without further investigation, I ran towards where I thought it was, only to find out ten minutes later that it had pinpointed me. I suppose it wasn’t accustomed to tracking two bodies.

I grabbed the tablet off its little pedestal and held the holographic screen like a phone. I searched the menu, growing more bored and ticked off with each second, though it was amusing to at least find out more about the rooms here.

Then I spotted a tab for insights and found a ranking of all the areas based upon which were used the most. 

Just from skimming, the first was something titled “HQ,” but in parentheses, it described it as the main office. The second on the list was the master bathroom, and then the home bar, which I guess was different from the wine cellar.

Nonetheless, I found HQ on the map and continued to carry the tablet with me. It would’ve been nice to know that these were portable, or at least for a certain distance. After what was probably five hundred steps, it shut off, but by then, I knew where I was going.

Eventually, I ended up at another pair of double doors. 

I knocked. 

There was no response. There were no labels nearby, though there were some sticky notes on the doorframe, yet they were illegible.

I knocked once more, a bit louder this time. Still no response. 

I slowly placed my palm against the metal, and after registering my hand, I was able to push it open. Most of the doors were like this, yet none of them scanned you from what I could tell. It was hard to remember after getting distracted by all the other mechanisms in this house.

I cracked the door and peeked my head through to see Eustace sitting at a desk, his back to me. There were arrays of TV screens and monitors in front of him, all of which were in use. Some were schematics and area maps, some were lines of code, and several were text documents.

There were holographic charts by the front of the room, but there were papers, books, and sticky notes scattered all over the floor.

On one of the walls illuminated by a ton of LEDs was a ginormous map of Iinowae, and then a smaller one with the layout of Central Command. There were pins in certain areas connected by multicolored strings and had little digital photos.

I quietly stepped further inside, closing the door back as Eustace crumpled up a piece of paper and threw it at the map with a curse. He pulled up a tab with a list of mugshots, and I stood behind him awkwardly. I knew I shouldn’t have been looking at his work, though now that it had caught my eye, I couldn’t avert my gaze.

As I began to tiptoe to the side of his room, trying not to break his focus, I stepped on one of his paper balls with a crunch that I swore echoed throughout his office. I immediately looked up at him, but he didn’t notice.

I fidgeted with my sleeves. 

I shouldn’t be in here. 

I should just greet him and leave. 

I should just say “hi,” thank him, and then be on my way. He worked for the government and after seeing this setup, it was clear he had better responsibilities than hosting some Xibagantan squatter.

“Eustace,” I whispered with my hands cupped to heighten my voice.

He didn’t respond.

“Eustace!” I repeated a bit louder.

I walked around a bit more to see if he had headphones in, but when I didn’t find any, I supposed he was just in deep focus. I stood not far beside him, watching as he went back and forth between examining the monitors and jotting down notes, only to scoff, crumble them up, and throw them at the wall to his left.

“Fuckin’ hell.” He muttered to himself before closing several tabs and opening ones about Xibagantu.

He anxiously combed his fingers through his hair, scowling at his notes. He stared into space for a while as I watched him from the side, worried but happy to look at him again.

He was wearing the same thing he was last night. 

He looked exhausted, or at least more than he appeared yesterday.

The Iinowaen grabbed his head with a groan and began talking to himself.

“Shut the fuck up already,” He went. “It’s fine. Everything’s fine. Everything’s normal—this is normal!”

He slammed his head on the desk, and I recoiled as he mumbled into his arms.

“Everything’s not okay—what’s wrong with you? Just get rid of him and do your work!” He continued yelling at himself, contradicting his own words. “Just calm down, it’ll all work out.” He took a deep breath and finally sat back up. “It’s gonna be okay, Eustace, you’re gonna be fine.”

The Iinowaen leaned back in his chair as his breathing settled, and then out of the corner of his eye, he finally saw me and with a scream, rolled back in his chair and almost tipped it over.

“Oh my God, are you okay!?”

His cheeks flushed red as he regained his balance, clinging to his desk. “What the fuck Kaspian—are you trying to give me a heart attack?!”

“I’m so sorry! I wasn’t trying to scare you!” I stammered, unsure of what to do as I stood there with my racing heart while he sat there sweaty and hyperventilating.

“How long have you been there for?!”

I gulped. “U-Um, definitely longer than I should’ve been, I’m really sorry! I’ll go now, I’m so sorry—”

“It’s fine, calm down,” Eustace said with an exhale, though I wasn’t sure if it was directed at me or himself.

“Are you mad?!” I asked anxiously.

He wiped his face. “No.”

“O-Okay,” I muttered. “I’m really sorry, I was just looking for you, but then I didn’t wanna ruin your focus.”

He stood up and stretched. “It’s fine, I guess. I’m just not used to looking up and having someone be there,” He admitted under his breath.

I chuckled. “I called your name, though! Twice! I even stepped on some paperwork!” I beamed and pointed closer to the door, but then quickly lowered my hand. “Which I am very sorry for!”

Eustace waved his hand. “It’s fine.”

“Y’know, I’ve got a knack for cleaning. Would you like me to help you tidy up?”

The Iinowaen glanced around and leaned on his desk. “It’s fine, I’m used to it.”

There was an awkward pause, and I smiled at him which made his cheeks flush maroon again.

“Um, how much did you see earlier?”

I shrugged. “A lot? I’m not sure,” I admitted with a snicker, and then perked up. “Were you looking me up?”

He looked off to the side and didn’t respond. I laughed at his expression and stepped closer to him, causing him to tense up a bit more.

“I mean, I saw the mugshots! Do you think I got arrested or something?! I’m not crazy!” I said proudly, hands on my hips. “Well, no that’s a lie. I am kind of crazy, just not in a murder-y sense.”

“What’s up with you and murder?” He chuckled to himself before turning to his computer and minimizing all his windows. “Anyways, that was something else. I was just interested in finding out more about that study abroad period you’re doing.”

I clicked my tongue with a smirk. “What? Did you not believe me?” I teased.

“No, I believed you. I just wanted to know more.”

I stood beside him and leaned into his arm playfully, but he anxiously shuffled away.

“You could’ve just asked me! You can ask me anything—don’t be scared! I’m very open!”

Eustace eyed me. “Yes, I can tell.”

“Well wait, did you find anything?” I asked, intrigued, reaching toward one of his laptops, but he grabbed my wrist. Luckily, his grip was lighter than it was yesterday.

“D-Don’t touch that!”

“Ah, sorry!” I quickly recoiled as Eustace stood there awkwardly. 

“Is uh, is this where you do all your cool government work?” I asked and gestured towards the holograms and maps around the room.

“Mm.”

I rubbed my arm. “Am…I allowed to be in here?”

The Iinowaen glanced around his office. “You probably shouldn’t be, but no one else has to know.”

“Haha! Scandalous!” I beamed. “Have you been researching me all morning?”

He shook his head and sat on his desk. “No, I’ve been working most of the time. I just got distracted.”

I sat next to him, glancing at some of his papers. They had the same illegible handwriting as the notes outside of the room.

“You take any cool notes about me?”

He hummed, leaning over me to grab a few pieces of paper, which he inconspicuously dropped behind me onto the floor afterward.

“Mm, no.”

I snickered. “Yeah, right! You should lemme see! I’ve looked myself up on Xibagantu before but not on Iinowae! Lemme see what it says!”

Eustace rolled his eyes and leaned back to hand me one of the papers. I examined it and then handed it back to him.

“You gotta read that to me. Your notes are amazing, but for work? They’re indecipherable!”

The Iinowaen scoffed and laid back on his desk like it was a bed, holding the sheet above him.

“Kaspian Xoldek, species Xibagantan, and in parentheses it says gradient, pink and yellow. Dark-skinned, pleasantly loud and bubbly, likes dragon fruit lemonade and soft clothes.”

I felt my cheeks burn. “Those are just things you’ve known from yesterday!”

He lowered the paper to make eye contact. “Yeah, but not your last name.” He hid his face again. “Those were my personal notes. The website for your school had a list of the kids studying abroad.”

He cleared his throat. “Fifty students were picked to shortly pursue journalism on Iinowae. They will receive temporary citizenship and city passes. Half are to stay in Central Command while others may travel to other continents.” He looked at me and then back at his writing.

“Then, after doing some more digging I found out that the twenty-five of you designated to the city have temporary estate at the Viridian Resort in South Command. Students are aware of the safety risks and have specific guidelines they must follow.” He lowered the paper. “And then I put that Kass makes his own guidelines.”

I laughed as he put the paper back on the floor.

“There’s more, but you get the point.”

“Well, now I’m kind of irked! Did you find out where I live, live? And where I’m from on Xibagantu?!”

Eustace sat up. “No. You’re not a true citizen, so your personal info, as opposed to your academics, isn’t readily available because you’re not in the system. Even if you did decide to stay here, your info would still have holes since you weren’t born here.”

The Iinowaen stretched. “Citizen records are actually a thing we’re working on right now. Some data is heavily warped makes it hard to keep an eye on people.”

We stared at each other. He turned red. 

“I probably shouldn’t be talking about that.” He mumbled and cleared his throat. “Anyway,” He stood up. “I made breakfast earlier, so you should probably eat.”

I followed after him. “Wait, I kinda wanna ask you about something.”

He turned back to me. “Yes?”

“Um, did you ever go to bed last night? When I went to sleep you were gone, and when I woke up you weren’t there either.”

Eustace hesitated, tensing up a little bit. He kept walking. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I mean, you just looked tired, that’s why I was asking! It would be unfair if you were losing sleep because you had to sleep on the couch or something.”

He fiddled with his turtleneck. “I’m fine.”

I tried to keep the conversation going since I was genuinely concerned, but Eustace didn’t want to elaborate. I wanted to be mad, but I was lucky I even heard him talk today in the first place.

I didn’t expect him to willingly read his notes about me. But while it was weird, it was a bit cute and amusing to know that he was as fascinated with me as I was with him. So far, Eustace was my first Iinowaen friend. Even though he didn’t always respond or say much, I enjoyed talking to him. 

After the morning when I scared him in his office, he was no longer there when I woke up. Instead, he was usually in the kitchen. I would wake up and go to the bathroom to see notes he’d left on the mirror, telling me where he’d likely be.

‘Good morning,’ they would say, written in that odd but pretty cursive of his.

‘I made you breakfast in the kitchen. Hopefully you know the way there by now. If you’re up in the morning, I’ll be waiting for you in the dining hall, however if you sleep in, you might find me in the library. I hope you slept well.

Yours truly,
Eustace’

I no longer spent hours at the crack of dawn searching for him just to say hi. And, while I was awake, he never worked. Instead, he’d follow me as I told him stories and found more things in my bag to show him, or I’d follow him as he toured me around the house.

Truthfully, I meant to leave after the first night. However, though he wasn’t saying it outright, I could tell Eustace was egging me to stay, and just from that, I decided I would. No one had attempted to contact me, and as the week went on, it felt like I didn’t have anything to return to anyway.

Perhaps, this was the new norm for me, or maybe at least until my study period was over. And hey, I was with an Iinowaen who worked for the government, so technically I was still doing my work. Sure, I was studying him instead of his work, but who cares?

Every day with him was something new so far. I even began to respond to the notes on the bathroom mirror after finding a pack of stickies in the cabinet. 

‘Hi Eustace! I found your sticky notes stash >:) Thank you for leaving me notes. I really like them. I like your handwriting as well, it’s really pretty.

XOXO,
-K’

When I went to the bathroom later in the day, he had already responded.

‘I’m happy to hear that. I like yours as well. What does XOXO mean?’

I snickered and grabbed some paper from the stack.

‘Hugs and kisses!’

He responded that evening.

‘I see. That’s sweet. If you see this before the sun sets, come to the wine cellar. There’s a drink I think you might like. We can eat dinner in there too if you so desire.

Yours truly, XOXO, hugs and kisses,
Eustace’

By the end of the week, both sides of the enormous mirror were covered in multicolored notes from us. After a while, I had to climb onto the sink and reorganize them so we could easily find and leave new ones.

One afternoon I walked past the bathroom and spotted Eustace standing by the counter, smiling at them. He was grinning from ear to ear, his cheeks a light maroon. So far, that was the happiest I had seen him.

But despite how he seemed to grow less and less tense over those few days, he still looked so tired. He appeared happy, but he seemed exhausted. I worried he was working during the night to spend the day with me. He would stare into space more often, so much that it would take him ages to even realize that I was staring at him, which typically made him nervous. 

While I often did the same because of my short attention span, Eustace was usually so alert and focused.

One night I left a note on the bathroom mirror, right in the middle. 

‘Eustace please come to bed tonight. I’m worried about you.’

He didn’t respond until the next day.

‘I’m fine.’

I left another note in the middle of the glass.

‘I don’t believe you. Please.’

He didn’t respond. 

The notes stopped after that.

I had maybe been there for two weeks so far. Our days continued where he’d make breakfast and hang out with me as I rambled, but he never brought up the note. Although I felt terrible, I also strayed from the topic in fear that it would piss him off.

What if it was my fault?

I knew nothing about his routine, work-ethic, or sleep schedule before I showed up on his lawn. I had nothing to compare it to. It was clear he was a workaholic. Maybe that was why he never tried to make friends—they’d only get in the way and the relationships wouldn’t last…more than a day.

I laid in his king-size bed, balled up in the sheets. It was the middle of the night. I was previously asleep, but my constant thoughts shook me awake.

I felt around in the darkness, and to no surprise, Eustace wasn’t there.

Against all better judgment, I grabbed my pillow and got out of bed, beginning to roam the halls in my silk nightshirt.

I hazily dragged my hand across the wall in the dim lighting until I ended up by the stairs. I slowly walked down a few flights until I ended up on the first floor.

I had yet to wander the halls at night, aside from going to the bathroom near his room. 

It was eerie.

I walked past a mantle, and when I looked up, I saw a giant family portrait. It was hard to see in the low light, but I recognized Eustace. He appeared to be thirteen and stood in front of two people, who I assumed were his parents. Even in the dark, I could tell he had his mother’s nose, his father’s ears, and was a combination of their colors.

He was so short, and so was his fully maroon hair, except for the one long strand that stretched to his shoulders. Oddly, everyone had the same birthmark, and Eustace’s eyes were the same color. His left one wasn’t red.

I stared some more.

Eustace looked uncomfortable.

He was the only one looking forward. As his parents gazed off to the side, seemingly faking smiles, it was clear their son saw through it.

I wondered what his childhood was like.

He said he had no family, but I guess he obviously did at one point. Were his parents nice? Did he have any siblings? Who were the other chairs for at the dining room table?

While the Iinowaen enjoyed listening to me talk and would occasionally join in, I realized that there was still a ton I didn’t know about him. Hell, I don’t even know his last name yet.

I held my pillow tighter and kept walking. 

Eventually, I came across another double-doored room. They were cracked and some dim light escaped, but it was still brighter than in the halls. I peeked in to see a huge living room that also seemed like it could’ve been a theatre if it weren’t for the tall windows and French doors.

As I made my way inside, I saw Eustace sitting at the counter behind one of the couches, gripping his head. He was wearing his black shorts and thigh straps like he always did, but he had on a loose black sweatshirt that hung off his shoulder a bit.

When I closed the door, he flinched, locking eyes with me.

“Whoa, what are you doing up?” He asked softly.

I shrugged and walked over to him. “Dunno,” I mumbled. “I woke up and couldn’t fall back asleep. I was kind of wondering where you were.”

“Oh.” He rubbed his eyes.

“Is…this where you go every night?”

“No. I move around.”

There was an awkward pause. Eustace went back to leaning on his hands, and I gripped my pillow, inhaling sharply.

“Eustace, please come to bed.”

He looked up. “What? I’m fine, just go back to sleep.”

“No.”

“Kass.”

“Come to bed,” I repeated. “Please.”

“Kaspian.”

“Eustace.”

He didn’t respond.

“Eustace, I don’t care where I sleep, okay? I have nothing against sleeping in a guest room—this is your house, and that’s your bed! I don’t want you losing sleep because you feel the need to be overly generous!” I gulped. “I appreciate it, really, believe me, but I just…”

The Iinowaen sighed into his hands, side-eyeing me. “Kass, it’s fine.”

“No, it’s not!” I threw the cushion onto the ground and Eustace jumped as I raised my voice.

“If you’re weirded out about sleeping next to a dude you’ve just met, I get it! It’s fine—I can sleep somewhere else! Hell, I’ll even sleep on the floor if it means you’ll finally go to bed!”

He pinched his temples with a groan. I grabbed his wrist.

“Eustace! Go to bed!”

He snatched his arm back. “I can’t!” He shrieked with tears in his eyes.

“What?”

The Iinowaen slammed his fists on the table, his antennae drooping. “I said I can’t!” He screamed louder. “You think I don’t want to?!”

He hastily stood up. “I’ve tried! I’ve been trying, Kass! I just can’t! I can’t think straight!” He grabbed his head. “Usually, I’d get to sleep and maybe wake up from a nightmare, but now I can’t even get to that point!”

I watched as his hands shook. “I didn’t want my stirring to bother you or worry you or stop you from sleeping,” He hissed softly. “It doesn’t need to be your problem!”

I took a deep breath, unsure of what to say. I grabbed his shaky hand, and though he immediately tried to pull away, I held him tighter.

“Yeah, well, I want it to be my problem. Let me help you.”

“K-Kass, no!” He tried to wriggle out of my grasp.

“It’s the least I can do!”

I finally let go as Eustace held his hand to his chest, hyperventilating.

“I can’t sleep tonight either, so we might as well have some fun while we’re both up, right?” I said, hoping to lighten the mood. “We can see the world from a different perspective! The night’s still young, and so are we!”

“Kass…” Eustace said softly.

“I mean, if it comes to it, we can even watch the sunrise. Wouldn’t that be pretty?” I pointed to the French doors. “We could go on the patio or upstairs to the balcony.”

He stayed quiet.

I picked up my pillow and handed it to him, smiling. “C’mon,” I whispered. “I’ll make this the best night of your life. So awesome that by the end, you’ll be conked out!”

Eustace chuckled.

“C’mon, c’mon!” I leaned into him playfully. “Let’s have a sleepover!”

The Iinowaen finally smiled. “What…was that again?”

I grinned. “Oh my God, this is gonna be awesome! Alright, so!” I jumped onto the couch and got to my feet as Eustace looked up at me.

I put my hands on my hips. “There are ten things a sleepover needs!” I exclaimed. “Or at least, by my standards.” I pointed to the pillow. “First, a pillow fort!”

“A pillow what?”

“Shush! Lemme finish!”

Eustace snickered.

“First, a pillow fort! Second, matching pajamas! Third, snacks—and I mean like a ton of snacks,” I beamed and stretched my arms out. “Then you’ll need a kickass playlist for karaoke and dancing, which would be four and five. Then, as the night dies down, you can watch movies.”

I got off the couch and started collecting pillows. “Next, hide and seek and card games which may or may not include gambling,” I sneered, and the Iinowaen continued watching me in amusement. “Uh, what’s next? What number am I on?” I mumbled, still running around the room.

“Should be eight now.”

“Eight!” I shouted. “Truth or dare! Nine! Spin the bottle if you have enough people and ten! Watching the sunrise,” I quietly finished as I dumped a ton of pillows onto the ground.

“Any questions?”

Eustace looked around anxiously. “U-Uh, yes. A lot.”

I ran over to him, grabbing his hands. “Save 'em! We’re gonna make a pillow fort first! And don’t be confused—it’s exactly what it sounds like. We’ll just need some pillows, blankets, and maybe some fairy lights.” 

I jumped and pointed at him with finger guns. Eustace raised his hands above his head, flustered.

“Do you have those?” I asked enthusiastically.

“Y-Yes? I’ll go get them!”

“Atta boy!” I went to hi-five him, but he ducked.

“What the hell was that?!”

I snickered. “Okay, put your hand up.”

Eustace raised his arms again.

“Okay, now slap my hand!”

Awkwardly, the Iinowaen hi-fived me with a weird but amused look on his face.

“There! Okay, now go!”

He laughed a little before leaving the room. I began removing the couch cushions and stacking them into a decent house shape. Eustace came back after a while, having completed his job, and even got food from the kitchen. He sat the tray of snacks on the floor in front of the couch and started copying what I was doing with the fort.

Thanks to the pillars in the room, it was easy to make a blanket tent that still allowed us to see the TV. We secured it with several string lights and then placed the remaining blankets and pillows on the floor so we’d have someplace to lay.

“Alright, pillow fort is down!” I beamed and did jazz hands.

“Can I ask my questions now?”

“No, one more thing—matching pajamas!”

Eustace looked us over. “Well, I have a matching pair of those silk ones. They’re just black, but they’re the same style.”

“Okay, go get those!”

The Iinowaen darted out of the living room again, and in the meantime, I went and got comfy in the fort, moving the food tray closer to the middle for easy access. When he came back, our outfits finally matched, though he still wore the same chains on his legs from earlier. Nonetheless, he crawled into our large, oddly shaped blanket tent and attempted to do jazz hands, but it looked more like he was just trying to wave at me. 

“Tada.” He went and then immediately laughed at himself.

“You look really good in those!”

He chuckled. “Uh, so do you. You look nice in white.”

I leaned on the pillows. “I know right? Okay,” I began. “Karaoke, dancing, card games, movie watching, and whatever else I said are up for debate. We can do all of them, or we can do none. It’s up to you.”

“What’s spin the bottle? Do you like—throw it in the air and then shoot it? That could be fun.”

I began to laugh. “What, no! I mean, it won’t work with us because there aren't enough people, and the same might go for hide and seek, but,” I cleared my throat. “You take a bottle, right?”

He nodded.

“Then, you and all your friends sit in a circle with the bottle in the middle. After that, you spin it, and whoever it lands on, you have to kiss.” I stated proudly.

Eustace raised an eyebrow. “Why would someone do that? Have you done that?!”

I laughed. “Yeah! It’s funny! And if you’re lucky, it’ll land on your crush.” I said with a wink. “I got to kiss my crush once—it was awesome. But then someone took a video and showed it to everyone at our school, and then he didn’t talk to me for two weeks.”

“W-What?”

My cheeks began to burn. “Fuck—she! Sorry, yeah, she didn’t talk to me for a while but...I eventually got over it. That’s middle school for you.”

“Uh, sure, okay.” I could tell Eustace was still confused. “Anyway, let’s not do that.”

I chuckled. “Well duh, it would always land on me unless we wanted to kiss inanimate objects. But anyway, what would you like to do?” I asked as I turned on the TV, searching for some music to play.

“I don’t know. Let’s gamble.”

“Do you even know how to gamble?” I asked as some pop music began to play quietly from the speakers.

He clicked his tongue. “Duh.”

I rolled my eyes. “Shut up, I never know with you!”

I left the room for a few minutes to fetch the cards from my backpack, and after returning to my seat, I began shuffling them. 

“So, what are we gambling? We gonna play strip poker?” I glanced at the Iinowaen.

“Strip what?”

“Every time you lose a round, you take off an article of clothing!” I snickered.

Eustace’s face turned bright red, and it was adorable. He looked down at his shirt and fiddled with his sleeves.

“Uh no, I’d rather keep my clothes on. Thanks.”

I laughed in response and passed out the cards, beginning to teach him a game my grandma taught me when I was a toddler. The whole time we were playing, he looked extremely puzzled, but he never stopped blushing and holding onto this cute little smile, so I assumed he was still enjoying himself.

Around half an hour later, we stopped playing, and since we decided to gamble cookies, we ate our winnings at the end. Despite Eustace’s inexperience, our earnings were pretty close. 

“Okay, what next?” I asked as we cleaned up the cards and crumbs.

He patted his lap. “Truth or dare. The first night you were here, you told me what it was. Now I’m kind of intrigued,” He admitted softly.

“Okay! I’m down for that!”

We faced each other again “Does it involve cards?”

“Nope, just your brain and your body. Unless that is, I dare you to make a card tower or just eat one.”

“Why would you make me eat a card??”

I snickered. “Dunno. Why not?”

Eustace rolled his eyes.

“Anyway, to reiterate, when someone picks truth, you ask them a question that they have to answer. If they pick dare, instead you instruct them to do something.”

“Can we make some rules?”

I shrugged. “Sure, I guess.”

“Okay, then no questions about my work.”

“Noted.”

“Or my family.”

I groaned, recalling the portrait I saw earlier.

“And you can’t dare me to take off my clothes.”

I snorted. “Why would I do that?!”

He shrugged. “I don’t know, you brought up strip poker, so I assumed you were into nudity or something.”

I continued laughing, my cheeks burning. “I mean, not really!” I paused, knowing damn well there was no good rebuttal. “While I enjoy being shirtless constantly, that’s just me! No one else! That’s all!”

Eustace smiled a little. “Okay, okay. Do you have any rules?”

“Uh, no? I don’t know—let’s just rule out overly personal questions and if someone does ask something in that category, just say that’s too personal and then think of a different one. How’s that?”

He gave me a thumbs up.

“So, just as an example, if I go first, you’ll ask me ‘truth or dare?’ And then if I say truth, you can ask, ‘can you do a split?’ And then boom, I’ll answer!”

“Can you actually do a split?”

I nodded.

“Lemme see.”

I laughed. “What, no? You have to dare me to do a split because the game…starts…now! You first!”

He jumped. “What? No! You first! Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” I said proudly.

“Okay, do a split, er—I dare you to do a split.”

I huffed and got out from under the tent. Eustace peeked out to look at me, and his jaw dropped as I effortlessly dropped to the floor.

“Oh my god, doesn’t that hurt?!”

I chuckled. “No, I’m super flexible. I did gymnastics and ballet as a kid,” I boasted and crawled back into our fort. “Anyway, truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

“Show me the most annoying sound you can make.”

Eustace cocked an eyebrow. “What? I don’t know…how to do that?”

“Just try and scream or something! With all the time you’ve spent in here alone, you’ve had to have screamed in the foyer at least once.”

The Iinowaen scratched his head and then made an odd yet obnoxiously loud droning sound that sounded like a broken microwave. He looked confused as he did so, but once he made eye contact with me, he started laughing and couldn’t continue.

“Enough of that—truth or dare?”

“Truth,” I responded with a smirk.

He hesitated. “Do you miss Xibagantu?”

I shrugged. “Not really. I did at first, but I’m getting more out of hanging with you than my damn home planet,” I laughed. “Not only is it fun, but being with you is kinda…freeing.”

“Wow. Most Iinowaen-bound Xibagantans are desperate to return home.” He cleared his throat. “Or so I’ve heard.”

“Eh, well I’m not most ‘Iinowaen-bound Xibagantans!” I laughed.

Afterward, I asked Eustace ‘truth or dare,’ but for several turns, he kept picking dare, although I had so many damn questions to ask him. Not to mention, I was running out of funny challenges.

“Dare,” He responded once more.

“I dare you to stop picking dare for the rest of the game.”

“What?!” He exclaimed, looking around the fort as if we had a referee. “That’s cheating—isn’t that cheating?”

I crossed my arms. “Nope. The only rules were no nudity and no personal questions. Also, I’ve run out of dares.”

The Iinowaen rolled his eyes. “Fine, whatever. So, what am I supposed to say now—truth?”

“Yeah! Let’s see, do you have a favorite body part?”

“What?”

“Like do you like people’s arms or antennae or hands?”

Eustace looked me up and down, his eyes oddly tracing my body. He stared at my lower half for a while.

“Um, I like your legs. Er—well, legs in general.”

“Nice catch.” I snorted. “Why my legs specifically?”

He turned red. “Um, well, you’ve got long legs since you’re really tall, and I guess they just look…nice on you. I’ve never really seen other people’s legs up close, and yours look super smooth and it’s cool.”

I stuck my leg out. “Haha thanks, I guess! It’s funny, pretty much all my hair is on my head. You wanna feel?”

Eustace looked down. “Uh, I think that’d be weird.”

“C’mon!” I stretched my leg closer to him.

He awkwardly poked my calf, and I laughed. “Really? Is that all you got? I’m literally permitting you to feel me up.”

“That sounds weird.”

“Do I need to do it for you?” I teased, grabbing his hand and placing it on my lower thigh. His face lit up with wonder. After he seemed content and less shaky, I let go of him, and then he proceeded to rub my leg.

“Oh my god,” He whispered. “You’re so soft…”

I laughed, my body heating up as he touched me. “Wait, watch this!” I propped my leg up and flexed my calf muscle. 

“Oh my God!” He exclaimed and poked it. “Wait—wait!” Eustace then propped up his and copied me, yet he was way beefier.

“Hot damn! Six-pack abs and sexy leg muscles?! Dude, you’re the whole package!” I reached out to feel, but he jumped back a whole foot.

“Hold on, can I ask you something else?”

Eustace fiddled with his shorts as I scooted closer to him. “I thought it was your turn.”

“I mean, yeah, but I really wanna know something!”

“Um, okay.”

I pointed at him and attempted to touch his nose, watching as he leaned back.

“Are you a germaphobe?”

“No.”

“Then why are you scared of touching people? Or being on the receiving end?”

He looked around. “I uh, I don’t know. It’s just foreign to me—I’m not used to it.”

I reached out and touched his hand, watching as he tensed up right on cue.

“But it’s just me,” I said, smiling sweetly at him.

Eustace watched as I traced his fingers with mine. “Yes, but most physical contact I’ve ever endured involved some level of pain.”

“O-Oh.” We locked eyes. “That’s awful…but understandable. If it helps, I promise I won’t hurt you.” 

Eustace nodded slowly as I lifted his hand and pressed it to my cheek. He froze, just like the first time, but didn’t pull away.

“M-May I ask you something now?” He began softly.

“Of course.”

“Your fingers and toes are always pink, but sometimes they glow brighter. Why?”

I shrugged. “I think it happens when I’m overly excited or embarrassed. Like when you’re really happy, you blush based on your antennae color. But for Xibagantans, it affects other parts of your body as well. It’s more intense for some people than others.”

Eustace continued to hold my face, despite his trembling.

“It’s pretty.” He muttered.

I looked up. “You think so? Most Iinowaens I’ve met teased me for it.”

“Yes, ignore them. It’s beautiful.”

I smiled. “O-Oh. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

We stayed quiet for a while, the Iinowaen still holding me. Despite his cold exterior, I was always amused by how warm his hands were. Although he was cupping my face, I began to doze off until I thought of another question.

“Eustace.”

“Hm?” He rubbed my cheek.

“Where’d you get your name from?”

The Iinowaen looked around awkwardly. “Um, from my mom? I guess?”

I chuckled. “No, I mean like, were you named after anyone or anything? In my family, the last letter of the mother’s first name is the starting letter of the eldest kid’s name! And for the youngest, it’s the father’s. For kids in the middle, it doesn’t matter.”

Eustace didn’t say anything.

“I mean, I was just wondering because I felt like I’d heard the name Eustace somewhere back home. What was it?” I mumbled to myself. “Somewhere in Cabu…I think?”

“The Eustachian Peninsula.” He said softly.

“Yeah! Yeah, that’s it! Is that what you're named after?”

Eustace shrugged. “I believe so.”

I chuckled. “Why did your parents name you after a Xibagantan landmark? Especially in Cabu? That continent is ancient and holds so much damn history. At school, there were history classes and then separate classes just for Cabu.”

“I’m not sure.”

I leaned against the couch. “I’m sure there’s some old saying about it.” I thought for a second. “It was such a weird plot of land. I think I remember my great uncle saying something about how the people born there are always pale with dark hair. Like ghosts, almost.” 

I glanced at him. He read me.

“No, I wasn’t born on Xibagantu. I’m really not sure. Only you and my parents know I’m named that anyway. I don’t usually tell people my name, but if I do, I claim I go by Eurus.”

My face lit up. “Eurus? The Greek God of the East-Wind?”

Eustace suddenly looked terrified. “How the hell do you know that?! That’s human folklore—how did you get your hands on that information? That’s illegal!”

I tensed up. “W-What?! Um, I don’t know!”

“That’s not a sufficient answer!”

“I-I don’t know! Human records aren’t illegal on Xibagantu! They may be billions of lightyears away, but on my planet, we study them! Human research is even a major at my school!”

Eustace pinched his temples, mumbling to himself. “The public getting their hands on the data of Earthlings, God, that’s insane! That information should be kept private!” The Iinowaen continued talking to himself, clearly frustrated. “I knew Xibagantans would do research and tests on humans but sharing data with the public? Kass, that should be private!”

I perked up. “What are you tellin’ me for? I don’t study them!”

He groaned. “Man, that’s…insane. I can’t believe you know who Eurus is!”

I chuckled. “You named yourself after a God. If that doesn’t say something about you, I don’t know what will,” I joked.

Eustace rolled his eyes, smiling.

“So, you’re Eustace, but also Eurus. Alright. That’s kind of like your nickname, so what’s your last name?”

He stayed quiet. 

“Or is that too personal? I mean, I promise I won’t look you up or anything weird. But now you know I’m Kaspian, Kass for short, Xoldek. So, you’re Eustace, Eurus for short…?”

Eustace chuckled softly but didn’t respond. He rubbed the palm of his hand, contemplating, but then he finally exhaled.

“It’s Cabuxiri. Eustace…Cabuxiri.”

“Cabuxiri?” I asked, puzzled. “Weren’t we just talking about Cabu?”

The Iinowaen chuckled but didn’t elaborate while I continued to sit across from him, analyzing his name. 

“I swear I’ve heard that somewhere before…”

Eustace just shrugged, watching as I tried to make sense of his weird names. Truthfully, I never paid much attention in history class, and as an adult, I couldn't remember everything. Yet he had a Xibagantan first name, human nickname, and…

“Cabuxiri,” I repeated as he proceeded to gaze at me. “That’s…Cabu, Xiba, and Coyio Dirzi, an old, abandoned city on Cabu. There was a kingdom there centuries ago, I remember reading about it in grade school. Hell, there were even fairytales and nursery rhymes about them.”

Eustace continued staring at me, not too fazed. 

“And the Eustachian Peninsula is south of there!” I smacked my lap. “The first people on Xibagantu lived in Cabu! And they called themselves Cabuxibans or Cabuxirans! Or was it Caberi? Maybe it was all of ‘em!”

The Iinowaen shrugged.

“Are you sure you’re not Xibagantan?”

“Yes.”

“Then why’s your hair two colors?!”

Eustace tensed up. “It’s a medicinal side effect. I don’t know why my parents gave me Xibagantan names. I’m not Xibagantan, and I’m not a hybrid either.”

I continued to stare at him. If only his parents were still around, I could just ask them. And based upon that photo, they weren’t Xibagantan either.

“It’s just…I’ve seen that name in history books before. I think it’s royal.”

Eustace chuckled harshly. “Kass, I don’t know. If I did, I would tell you. I’ve never looked into my family ties as a kid, hell all I could remember was trying to get away from them. I’m sure I knew at one point,” He muttered. “Maybe I blocked it out—I don’t know. I can’t…remember much.”

He glanced at me, looking a bit melancholy.

“I’m not lying to you.” He continued quietly. “Look.” Eustace raised his hand. “My fingers don’t glow,” He then pointed to his shoulder. “You’ve already seen that my birthmark is on the left instead of the right. My antennae are short, I’m short as well, for years my hair was only maroon—I’m Iinowaen.”

“Would…you be mad if you were Xibagantan?”

He hesitated. “No. Because then we would finally have something in common,” He muttered, chuckling sadly.

“O-Oh.”

There was an awkward pause.

“Well, even if your given names are Xibagantan, I think that’s cool. Eustace Cabuxiri has a nice ring to it,” I said with a smile. “And hey, maybe somewhere down the line, we can figure out the true origins.”

Eustace nodded slowly. He still looked uneasy, so I stuck my hand out and cautiously cupped his face. Of course, he became tense, but I hoped to cheer him up.

“Eustace Cabuxiri,” I repeated while rubbing his cheek. “I like that.”

He stayed quiet, staring at me with a red face.

“Eustace Cabuxiri and Kaspian Xoldek.” I chuckled. “Or Eustace Xoldek and Kaspian Cabuxiri!”

The Iinowaen smiled a little, humming softly as he closed his eyes.

“Have you been to Xibagantu before?”

He shook his head.

“Would you like to? I’d love to show you the landscapes and architecture! Oh, and where I grew up too, duh.” I chuckled. “When I leave, you should come and visit me!”

He placed his hand over mine. “When you leave?”

“If I leave.”

The man held me tighter as his smile faded. “Do you…want to leave?” 

“No. Do you want me to stay?”

The Iinowaen went quiet as a maroon blush spread across his face. 

I smiled. “I…like it better here anyway, since y’know, you’re here. Xibagantu doesn’t have you. Xibagantu doesn’t have anyone except for my parents, really. I doubt anyone else would miss me.” 

Eustace hesitated before removing my hand from him and attempting to shield his sudden look of guilt. “I should’ve told you this earlier but…your colleagues put out a search warrant for you.”

“W-What?!”

“They put it up after a week of you being here, I-I’m sorry. I thought if I told you, you’d frantically leave. N-Not that you’re not allowed to, obviously…” He trailed off, mumbling to himself.

“No, it’s fine,” I sighed, still smiling. “I…don’t really care. I’m indifferent toward most of them. Honestly, I’ve merely been tolerating them this whole trip.” I rolled my eyes. 

“No wonder you ran from the city.”

I chuckled. “Being around them isn’t fun—hell, neither is the work. I don’t want to write about propaganda and murder or whatever the hell the Commander might be doing!” I flung my arms out. “So what if it gets me fame? What’s fame and fortune if you have no one to share it with? I thought maybe I’d finally make my family proud or win myself friends, but that’s not how it works.”

“You…want to impress your parents?”

I gave a slight shrug before staring at my lap. “I’m an only-child. I had no one to hide behind and since my family was huge, I could never dodge the attention. I didn’t wanna let them down. My parents loved me for me, yeah, but every parent enjoys showing off their kid at least a little, right?” 

“Uh…”

“Sorry.” I rubbed my neck. “Rhetorical question, I guess. Every family is different.”

“N-No. Well, yes.” He furrowed his brows, and I noticed him rub the area where his birthmark resided. “I think I understand.”

I forced a smile. “You don’t have to.”

“No, I’m an only child too.” He closed his eyes. “But I lived for myself. I didn’t—I don’t care about impressing anyone else. They wanted to show me off as their trophy child,” He laughed to himself, clearly to mask the negativity. “But I made it impossible.”

“Did they hate you for it?”

Eustace paused but his stare made me uneasy. “Probably. There’s no way to know now,” He muttered, confirming that those other two chairs in the dining room had probably been empty for ages.

“O-Oh…”

“Alas, I come from a shitty family. Regardless of your succession, I’m sure your parents still think highly of you.” 

“While you’re probably right, it’s still a constant internal battle. Maybe I’m tired of letting myself down. Maybe I put the blame on my parents so my desperation would be less humiliating.” I gripped my shorts. “I did terribly in grade school—test anxiety, I couldn’t focus for shit, nothing interested me, I couldn’t remember anything—I could go on.”

Eustace gave me an odd look. “But you seem so scholarly. Maybe that’s a façade?” He smiled a little. “I was just thinking about your notes from when I found you…”

“Is that your polite way of calling me a nerd?”

“…Yes.” The Iinowaen quietly admitted. 

I chuckled softly at his response despite the lump in my throat. “Heh, well, that was just me wasting time indulging in my hobbies. When I’m forced to write, the product feels fake and the quality withers. Still, maybe I’m just my own worst critic…as they say. After wallowing about constantly failing in school, I realized my only talent was writing. It was the only chance I had to make something out of myself.” 

I scoffed. “I never even knew what I wanted to study or pursue as a job. I saw journalism and thought, ‘hey, maybe I’ll finally get something right.’” My eyes began to sting. “Maybe I’d finally do something right, make something worthy—maybe someone would finally be proud of me.”

Eustace quietly looked at me, stunned. 

I forced a laugh and observed the fairy lights above us. “But here I am. Grade school was one hell of an era, and so was college. Graduate school was supposed to be better. Or at least I was supposed to be better…instead of whatever the fuck this is, right? The same catastrophe from ten years ago.”

I let out a shaky breath and stared at my hands. “And somehow, it’s worse. I’m surrounded by shitty articles and columns that no one would read. I just…” I trailed off. “I just can’t write about something I don’t care about! But if my works never spark anyone’s interest, I’ll never make any money! I knew turning my hobby into a business venture would only come crashing down and lose its glow, but I had no other option!” I sat up straight and grabbed one of the pillows, chucking it across the fort as my voice cracked. “But do you know how much money it took to get here? It took to do any of this?! My family’s fucking broke!” I yelled.

“They’re broke because of me! Because I thought I could finally do something right and they—hoping that I would finally do something at all—believed in me! They believed in me! And here I am, letting them down! You know why Eustace?” My volume increased. “You know why I’m letting them down?! Because all I ever do is fail!” I wept, immediately breaking into tears and terrifying the Iinowaen. I tried to wipe my face, but the tears wouldn’t stop falling. 

Eustace sat awkwardly in front of me, fidgeting like crazy. “U-Um, uh—Kass…” He stammered and lifted his arm a bit before becoming stiff again.

I cried harder, sobbing into my hands as if I was in my bedroom by myself. “No one ever talks about the good things I do! My countless mistakes always outweigh my accomplishments, and I hate it. I wanna do something good, but I just can’t! I can’t write about this crap for other people! My heart’s not in it, and it’s not gonna go anywhere!”

“Kaspian,” Eustace began softly. “What is it you want to write about?”

My tears halted. 

What is it I want to write about? It was never something I even considered. I always favored other people’s interests because nothing from my mind ever felt worthy enough to see the light.

As I kid, I wrote constantly. When I was bored, it was my go-to pastime. I wrote about my surroundings, my family, my peers, and occasionally myself. Rarely, I’d write novels, but regardless of their completion, I always felt guilty knowing it was constantly a distraction. 

Writing was the last thing I had after my parents took me out of extracurriculars, so I’d have time to focus on school. By then, my brain would explode if I didn’t get my words out, and people could rarely follow my train of thought, that is, if they were interested in the first place. I was an extrovert without friends, an artist without an outlet, and a boy without a dream. 

I never knew what I wanted, and soon enough I realized my wants were irrelevant. If you started at my level, you had to follow the default route to get anywhere. I had to major in a field with high-paying careers so I could be self-sufficient and get out of my parent’s hair. What I wanted was to be happy. Alas, it couldn’t be calculated into the equation.

At twenty-seven, I should be near, if not already, independent, and yet, I didn’t even know where to start.

After college, I got an apartment with two roommates. It didn’t last long. I found another place with some prior classmates, but they eventually made enough money to live on their own. I moved around constantly so that no matter where I lived, it never felt like home. Every move required another purge of the belongings that made me…me, if not for space, but money.

I got another roommate in a complex on the other side of town. We were both a bit dysfunctional, but it was comforting. He also had a knack for writing and against all better judgement, I fell for him. Despite my lack of stability in any form, I was convinced he’d marry me. It wasn’t a bad assumption given the length of our relationship, but I could never catch up to him. 

My succession staggered and I fell behind.

Again.

He didn’t feel like waiting for me.

I couldn’t blame him and ultimately gave up, moving back in with my parents. It was frustrating knowing I could never be free, ironic since Xibagantu was the “promised land.” They said any dream could become reality but that was only when compared to Iinowae, otherwise, it was an exaggeration. I felt like I’d been scammed. Alive for almost thirty years and yet I’d still never really…lived. 

That is, until I travelled here, followed my gut, and found him.

What do I want to write about?

I looked at Eustace.

“You.”

“Me?”

“I want to write about you,” I sniffled. “Me, you, us, here—all of it.”

Eustace smiled, but at his expression, I started crying again.

“Then you should write about that. You should do what makes you happy.”

I cried harder, though as I tried to calm myself down, I felt Eustace cup the side of my face. He hesitantly rubbed my cheek and when I looked up, I realized how close he was to tears. Knowing him, it’d be a miracle if he ever showed me or even himself that much emotion. 

“Kass.”

I sniffled. “W-What?”

“It’s gonna be okay.” 

I laughed softly while at a loss for words.

“Even if no one else is, I’ll be proud of you. Always.”

I continued laughing through my tears as Eustace lowered his hand and smiled at my expression. I wiped my face but shielded myself from the Iinowaen for a minute. I knew damn well I looked like a raspberry, and was tired of embarrassing myself.

The phrase was something my parents implied; They’d always be proud of me. Alas, no one ever said it to my face, and it eventually became a lie I kept trying to tell myself as a faulty incentive. If they said it now, I doubt it would even register in my mind.

I sniffled for a solid minute before I could breathe through my nose again.

When it came down to it, I still barely knew Eustace. He had no issue with me being centerstage and reciting all the useless fun facts in my brain, whereas it’d take an exhausting amount of persuasion to get him to talk about himself. At least tonight he was too tired to give a shit.

Despite the time we had spent together, we were still borderline strangers, and yet, he was proud of me. He was hard to read, but on some level, I knew he cared. Maybe I merely had low standards after trying to tune out of my classmates, but it meant the world coming from him.

“H-Hey,” I mumbled. “Sorry for…” I awkwardly maneuvered my arms. “This. I know I’ve already been here for a while but like, bad first impression amiright?”

“You’re fine.”

I chuckled a little. He always said that—that I was fine. It wasn’t ‘good’ and it wasn’t ‘bad’ either, but I knew that when it came from his mouth, he meant it in the kindest way possible.

“I…um,” I whispered. “Thank you.”

“Thank you?”

“For, y’know, just being so damn sweet.” I laughed. “Maybe if I met more people like you on Xibagantu, I wouldn’t even be here trying to be someone that I’m not.”

“Mm.”

“I mean,” I went on, my cheeks burning. “Even if I don’t have the best memories of Xibagantu, I’m glad my experiences led me to you. Not that life wasn’t ever worth living, I just…” I sighed. “It’s nice that it’s finally, I don’t know, gratifying. I like being with you.”

Eustace’s antennae glowed brighter as he went stiff. “O-Oh.”

“Sorry. You’re just nice, I-I guess.”

“N-No, you’re fine.” The Iinowaen took a deep breath, trying to keep eye contact, but his nerves weren’t letting him. “It’s just as someone who works…for the government, I don’t often get positive feedback. It doesn’t faze me but being admired…does. That is, when it’s not about my work. No one knows me.” He looked off to the side. “And people who did, often despised me.”

I scoffed with a smile. “Yeah, right! You’re impossible to hate.”

Eustace returned the expression. “To you, maybe.”

“They just have bad taste!”

I spotted his ears tint maroon. “Maybe not bad taste, just a different palette.”

I chuckled.

“Regardless…” Eustace pondered for a bit, gathering his words. “I just never thought I’d be considered as ‘nice.’” He chuckled. “Hell, I never really…consider myself as anything. No personality traits or common adjectives. I could likely come up with at least twenty adjectives for you on the spot, but I’m at a loss for myself.”

“Well, that’s odd! If you spend all this time alone, you’ve had many instances to examine yourself!”

The man stared at his palms. “All I ever really think about is work. Anything else is unbearable. My thoughts going awry makes me fuckin’ crazy.”

“Is…that why you were talking to yourself that one morning? Well, more like yelling,” I mumbled. “The day after I met you?”

He hesitated. “Yes.”

“You were researching me, weren’t you? Do I make you crazy?”

The man hesitated and I gulped, confirming that if he said ‘no,’ he was lying.

“I-I’m sorry,” I immediately avoided his gaze as I sunk into the cushions around me. Just as I was about to have another breakdown at the thought of Eustace merely tolerating me these past few weeks, he grabbed the side of his face and made me look at him.

“Kass, no, it’s a good crazy,” He insisted before realizing how close he’d gotten to me before anxiously letting go. “Sorry.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, as he let out an unsteady sigh. “It’s just that work has always been a constant in my life from what I can remember. If my emotions are falling apart, I can work to distract myself. I’m used to the option always being available. Focusing on anything else—myself, especially—is just…foreign.”

I took a deep breath. “And foreign stuff is scary.”

Eustace nodded.

“Man, you really don’t get out much, do you?”

He smiled. “No, or at least not in the way that most would. I’m rarely here, actually. It’s more of a vacation home or a change of scenery since vacations…aren’t my thing.” He muttered to himself. “I’m often in the city.”

I squinted. “In the city, city? Or still secluded from people?”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Is that even a question?”

“Well, that explains why your bedroom wasn’t top ranked on the directory. And, well, that explains why HQ was the highest. You’re a workaholic,” I teased.

“A work what?”

I chuckled, examining the silver chains strapped to his legs. Whenever they caught my eye, I wanted to pull them, but I knew Eustace would freak out.

“Eh, don’t worry about it. It’s kind of a makeshift adjective. Though,” I smirked. “I could definitely think of nineteen more when looking at you.”

The Iinowaen blinked. “Really? Good ones??”

“Of course!” I beamed. “Or even if not adjectives, I like many things about you.”

“Oh.” His blush worsened. “I uh, I like many things about you too.”

For once, we stared at each other without Eustace instantly turning away. While gazing at him, I noticed an odd detail in his red eye. While his other was black, his left iris was filled with cracks, almost like glass. It made me wonder how he could see through it, but it was beautifully fascinating, as went for most features on his body.

I suppose that eye was yet another place a scar resided. He must have been through a lot. He appeared to be my age, but how could someone have never heard praise, compliments, or received a pleasant touch?

In that photo on the wall, he didn’t have any of those scars yet.

My questions for him continued to multiply, but I doubt he’d open up that much. It was hard enough to get him to initiate small talk these past few weeks.

I just…wanted him to be okay.

I finally felt okay now that I had him as a friend, but he still appeared unsteady. I wanted to be able to touch him without him flinching or pulling back out of fear.

He was so young—how was he already so scared?

I watched as Eustace fiddled with his hair and eventually averted his gaze. I rubbed my face and in an attempt to keep both of us sane, changed the subject.

“Anyways, I forgot most of my sleepover bucket-list.”

“We kind of went off the reservation.”

I shrugged. “Eh, in a good way though!” I laughed. “Still, do you…wanna keep talking?. Do you…maybe wanna watch a movie? Do you have any of those?” I messed with my pajamas. 

“Sure. We can watch a movie.”

Eustace leaned back and grabbed the remote to flick on the TV. After sifting through the menus, he handed it to me once he had pulled up the selection. “Here. You can pick.”

I got under the blankets while skimming the queue. Most I hadn’t heard of, so I picked a comedy to see how Iinowaen humor compared to Xibagantans.

“Have you seen this before?” I asked Eustace.

He shrugged. “I don’t really watch movies.”

“Then what do you use this room for?” I teased. 

He shrugged, blushing a little. “More…work related stuff.”

“Surprise, surprise.” I scooted closer to him. “You need more hobbies!”

He gestured towards the TV. “Hence, it’s good I have you.”

I grinned as the beginning credits played. “What work stuff requires you to have a TV this big though?” I laughed. “Overly in-depth trainee videos?”

Eustace rubbed the back of his neck as I realized the movie was set in Sequoia. I wouldn’t be surprised if most Iinowaen films featured the capital.

“Eh, just random recordings, I guess. Some documentaries, too.” He glanced at me. “You already know the city is covered with cameras.”

“Well,” I leaned into him, and he flinched. “It’s a good thing we’re not in the city then, eh? Your life is pretty much a hidden cam show here!” I laughed, examining the remote. “Can you see every inch of the city from here?”

He hesitated. “From my office I can.”

I leaned forward, eyeing him. “Holy shit, really?! That’s nuts—can I see??”

The Iinowaen let out a soft laugh. “Maybe later. It’s kind of nice to be out of my office for once,” He mumbled under his breath.”

“That’s fair,” I watched as a neon green Iinowaen walked on screen but since I didn’t bother to read the summary, I had no clue what the plot was. “Am I even allowed to watch the work-related videos you have? I’m sure they’re confidential given your rank.”

I noticed him smirk. “I don’t think you wanna go down that road of what either of us are allowed to do. Especially since you’re still supposed to be in Central Command.”

“T-True.”

“Regardless, I doubt you’re into gore,” He mumbled. “More than half the clips are executions anyways.” My eyes went wide, and he glanced at me as I failed to find a response. “Yeah.”

“But…” I muttered. “If I wanted to see them, you’d let me? Even though I’m technically not allowed.”

“I mean,” I noticed him fidgeting as he stared at the TV. “Not right now.”

“What? For my first anniversary of being here are you gonna let me watch one?” I grinned. “Why do you have them anyway? Did you film them?”

I stared at him, anticipating his response.

“Did you…participate in them, maybe?” I leaned forward again, trying to see his face. “Or clean up the aftermath? Or maybe you were the tech guy?”

“You seem way too excited about the possibility of me being involved.” He raised an eyebrow as I snickered. “Regardless,” He grabbed the remote and turned up the TV. “Remember when I banned personal questions?”

“Yeah! For truth or dare!” I playfully nudged him and noticed his cheeks tint maroon.

“Kass, watch the movie.”

I clicked my tongue. “I’d rather watch you!”

His blush worsened and I held in another laugh. “Watch the movie.”

As I finally turned my attention back to the screen, I noticed how close we’d gotten again. When I laughed, my arm would brush against his, and he didn’t seem to mind. Still, I was worried he’d scoot away since the last thing I wanted was to scare him off. 

I ate some of our leftover snacks, occasionally laughed at scenes, and asked Eustace questions about the actors and events, even though he knew just as much as me. He was always amused by my amusement, as I noticed he didn’t seem to care much about the movie and had no idea what was happening. And yet I was completely invested after a solid hour. Though, as I shifted to scratch my back, Eustace gripped my shirt. For once, I hadn’t been staring at him and didn’t notice he’d been holding onto me for half of the movie by now. 

“Kaspian,” He muttered. “Please don’t leave…” He begged.

“What?” I finished the lollipop I had been savoring and stuck the wrapper in my pocket before realizing I had never verbally confirmed it. “I won’t.” I chuckled. “There’s no place I’d rather be than here with you. Promise.” I looked over at him to see him passed out on the floor beside me. 

“Oh,” I said softly to myself. 

I watched him anxiously stir in his sleep but since he clung to my shirt, I couldn’t move much. I placed my hand over his. Maybe this was why he had been avoiding me during the night. 

“Please stay,” He whined softly. “Please…I can’t do this alone anymore.”

“Eustace?”

I rubbed the side of his face, and as my fingers grazed his neck, he loosened up. I returned my gaze to the movie for a while before his hold on me tightened and I tuned back into his incoherent mumbles. When I glanced down, I noticed his face was full of tears.

“S-Shit.” I lowered the volume of the TV and wiped his face, but eventually my touch made no difference. He continued to sob quietly beside me. I hated to think he’d been suffering alone for so many nights. Either that, or he was obviously avoiding sleep altogether.

I wish he had said something.

All we ever did was talk. 

Well, all I ever did was talk.

If I had never found him tonight or even noticed his worsening dark circles, how bad would it have gotten? Would I have just stumbled upon him unconscious on the floor somewhere?

As I combed my fingers through his hair, Eustace grabbed my hand. “I can’t…do this without you.” The Iinowaen said clearly enough for me to understand, despite his quiet sobs.

 “It’s okay,” I pressed my forehead against his. “I’m right here. Don’t worry.” I leaned back and lifted his antennae with my hand as it curled around my finger. When I softly kissed one of the bulbs, his cries lessened and what appeared to be a nightmare eventually subsided.

Still concerned, I laid beside him while waiting for his breathing to slow but the sound was practically white noise and in seconds, I was asleep against him. From the amount of sun flooding the room, I realized I’d woken up late into the afternoon. I had no clue when I’d actually fallen asleep. Our blanket fort shielded us from most of the light, but it was still warm.

I stretched as my shirt fell off on one side, for I guess I had gotten hot in the middle of the night. I glanced at Eustace, who was still peacefully dozing.

He looked happy.

As the days went on, of course, he began to smile more, but to be completely honest, I still wasn’t that used to it. It was weird, but I liked when he finally let go of that stone-cold expression.

When I caressed him again, the Iinowaen leaned into my hand and reached up as if trying to grab me with his eyes closed. I placed my head by his neck, sliding my hand down his side. He hummed softly, fluffing my hair as he continued to sleep. I wound up dozing off for a few more hours until Eustace’s movements and confusion awoke me. I stretched, knowing I should get up now otherwise I’d sleep late into the afternoon.

“H-Hey,” I mumbled and then yawned, causing him to do the same as we made eye contact.

“Good morning.” 

“Well,” I scooted back a bit. “Did our slumber party work? How’d you sleep?”

He smiled. “Really well, actually. It’s been weeks…” He muttered under his breath. “I think I fell asleep during the movie though, so sorry about that.”

I chuckled, leaning into him. “Don’t worry about it! I’m happy to know that you’re well rested. Still, I expected you to sleep longer.”

Eustace shrugged. “No, I can only get but so many hours a night.

As I laid on his shoulder, the Iinowaen tensed up.

“Y-You’re not wearing a shirt.” He stammered and moved back a bit.

“Aw c’mon, just for a second! I really like hugs!”

Eustace turned red. “No, please don’t hug me. You can touch my face…maybe.” He pinched his nose. “Sometimes. I don’t know—it kinda just throws my emotions out of whack.”

I chuckled. “Damn, not even for a second? When the last time you even had a hug?”

The Iinowaen looked around but couldn’t muster up an answer. “D-Doesn’t matter,” He mumbled before lightly patting my shoulder. “There, is that good?”

“Barely!” I laughed before taking his hand and pulling him into me. I wrapped my arms around his waist, and oddly enough, he instantly did the same, tightly clinging to me with his face in my neck. I was prepared for him to shove me away, but it didn’t even seem like he wanted to let go.

“See! You’re really nice to hold!”

The Iinowaen took a deep breath. “This is just because I’m tired. This isn’t gonna become a thing.” He hesitated before mumbling into my neck. “You’re really soft.”

“Told you,” I teased as he slid his hands down my back. “Just so you know, you can still hug me whenever you’re not tired.”

 “Okay.”

The Iinowaen held me for a few minutes, but his heart rate never slowed. He seemed to panic in the same way as when I touched him before, but he refused to let go nonetheless. If I had to guess, he probably hadn’t experienced this since his parents were around. 

After we let go of each other, we ate breakfast in the kitchen despite only devouring a collection of snacks. We never took down the pillow fort and after getting dressed for the day, proceeded to loiter inside it.

In the evening, I went to the bathroom to fix my hair and noticed a sticky note in the middle of the mirror.

‘Thank you for last night. While I always enjoy the time I spend with you, yesterday was particularly memorable. There’s never a dull moment with you around.’

After the small smiley face was an arrow pointing to a rolled-up sheet of paper that he’d also stuck to the glass below the note. It was practically a scroll, given how long the paper actually was after I removed the rubber band. Regardless, I couldn’t stop grinning as I followed the lines of text.

‘I realized I couldn’t fit all my thoughts onto one two-by-two sheet of paper, so I’ve written you this letter.’

I sat on the counter.

‘Dearest Kaspian, 

Words nor actions can express how much I appreciate you. I never knew how lonely I was or how much I needed someone until I met you. Now that you’re here, my life would fall to pieces if I ever lost you. I’ve never experienced those emotions I felt last night. Warmth, comfort, serenity—I don’t know how to describe it, though I can’t remember a time when I’ve ever smiled so much. Truthfully, I hadn’t smiled in years until I met you. It’s a weird feeling, and sometimes I held onto the expression for so long that my face began to hurt, but I liked it.

I admire you. 

I admire your looks, your energy, your glow, your laugh—it’s beautiful. You’re beautiful, Kaspian. Everything about you is. Your hair reminds me of the clouds, and when I first saw the tattoo across your collarbone, I had to fight to advert my gaze. I apologize for leaving you such a measly note as opposed to saying this to your face. I want to, but I can’t. 

I envy your candor. You say what’s on your mind and wear your emotions on your sleeve, hence why I’m more than delighted to listen to you for hours. You do what you know. I’ve been secluded for most of my life—I was instructed to reside in the shadows, for reasons I can’t disclose. However, when I listen to your stories, part of me wishes, for a mere second, that I could’ve grown up with you. How would it have been if I weren’t homeschooled or if I weren’t raised by tyrants surrounded by a sea of bloodlust?

I never knew there was anything else.

My life may be normal for a Cabuxiri, but not for a Xoldek, or any product of the Delta Cider Galaxy. 

While you may not be a native, you’re the one drop of sunshine within Iinowae’s saturated environment. Being born and raised in Mzoi, I will never understand how you’ve made this place home, but your ability to adapt is brilliant. You never cease to amaze me and everyday I learn something new from you.

You’re extraordinary.

I’d scream it from the rooftops if I could. Alas, I don’t even have the composure to embrace you and whisper it a thousand times over.

I wish I weren’t so scared. I wish that when your fingertips brushed against my skin, I wouldn’t lose my breath. However, I know that one day I’ll be okay. 

I’ll be okay because I have you.

In all the years I’ve been alive, I’ve never been able to breathe like this. I’d been drowning for so long that I’d grown numb to the sensation, and after reaching the surface again, the sight of the sun was terrifying. It’d be easier to fall back into hiding and resume my years of aberrant mediocrity—insomnia, work-alcoholism(?), isolation, ambiguity—need not I go on.

And yet, imagining life without your warmth scares me more. How I survived so long without someone to talk to is beyond me. Perhaps I was in denial. That, or raised to fear what felt good as to force me to focus solely on practicalities.

My childhood is a blur and I pray it stays as such. My only wish is that you can pull me away from it all. It’s said infants can die from a lack of physical affection and when I learned of the fact, I wondered how I’d made it so far. Perhaps I was only given the bare minimum to suffice until I was grown. Alas, there’s no way to prove it.

Unless I am the only living proof.

They told me the Cabuxiri were strong, and yet the idea of your liking me brings me to tears while the rest of the world is asleep. How weird it seems for someone to show interest in me, to prioritize my well-being, to touch me or want to get to know me—since knowing me requires a great amount of persistence from the other party. Ah, what am I telling you for? You were subjected to such difficulties all night.

Clearly, it is I who is the weird one.

I’d apologize, but I get the feeling my peculiarities factor into your desire to stay on Iinowae. I’d be lying if I said your quirks didn’t play into my fondness of your presence. Alas, don’t let me trap you here. You’re free to live, whether that be here in Luekavi or miles away in Mzoi. 

Wherever you are, Kass, I want you to be happy.

I want you to do what makes you happy.

I want you to be…you. 

Stop trying to conform to those around you. You’re remarkable. You’re a one-of-a-kind Xibagantan and those who have failed to realize such are irrelevant. For as long as we’re together, I will look forward to your stories, your smile, your laughter, and the way you glow pink when you’re delighted. I may not ever know how to respond, what to say, or what to do, but I know that I’m thankful for you.

I do have work to attend to this evening since we slept the day away, but I’ll see you tonight. I promise.

Love,
Eustace Cabuxiri’

I attempted to wipe my face, but the tears wouldn’t stop falling. The Iinowaen leaving me tiny notes was one thing, but despite giving him breath, he had stolen mine away and the proof was in these paragraphs. I darted out of the bathroom with the paper in my hand while running to his office. I bolted inside without knocking, startling Eustace who was in the zone, as he always was when he was at his desk.

“Holy fucking shit!!” The Iinowaen yelled right before I threw myself at him and pulled him into the tightest hug, sobbing. “Why are you crying?!” He attempted to get his balance in the swivel chair. “Kaspian!”

He tensed up, attempting to hug me back as I dug my face into the crook of his neck. “W-What’s wrong—are you okay?!”

“I’m more than okay!” I cried as he grazed my back. “You’re incredible!”

“I— W-What?!” 

I laughed as I felt his heart racing as much as mine. Although I had plans to laminate it and tape it to my wall, I dropped the letter so I could cup his face. 

“I’m thankful for you too! So much, Eustace!” I hiccupped. “You think I’m extraordinary? Look at you!” I beamed.

He grinned at a loss for words as I pressed my nose against his, despite practically drowning him in my tears.

“You’re so sweet,” I cried softly while sitting in his lap. “No one’s ever left me a note like that or said anything like that to me before,” I whispered. “I’m so happy I could die.”

Eustace caressed my cheek, blushing from ear to triangular ear. “Um, please don’t die. I wasn’t trying to kill you,” He said and chuckled. “It’s just…even though I don’t always make it known, I enjoy having you here. Even when I’m cooped up in my office and you’re elsewhere roaming the mansion…it’s comforting to know you might just appear out of nowhere.” He laughed to himself, avoiding my eyes. “Y-You have a good energy.”

Eustace shielded himself as I proceeded to smile at him. “I-I’m sorry. I’m bad at words and articulating this type of shit. That’s why I wrote…you know…”

I wiped my face. “You’re fucking great at words!” I laughed, slightly shaking his shoulders. “Why else would I run into your office crying like a toddler?!”

“I genuinely don’t know,” Eustace snickered.

“What?” I began playfully while staring at his sleeveless turtleneck. “Did you think I’d just read it and go, ‘wow cool,’ and never mention it to you?” I ran my hand across the fabric.

“K-Kind of, yes.” He scrunched up his nose. “Or maybe you’d reply by sticking another note to the mirror.”

“You’re adorable,” I whispered, snickering as his blush worsened. We were too close in proximity for him to escape and he couldn’t find any other places to look. “I still can, if you’d like.”

“N-No, I like this,” He admitted softly and glanced down as I was still stationed in his lap. Frankly, I was surprised his chair could comfortably seat two people. “This is sufficient. Beyond sufficient, really.”

I looked him over and held his face again. I liked seeing his red eye up close and knowing I could run my finger across the bump on his nose if I didn’t already know it’d freak him out. He was too attractive to hide in the shadows, but at least I was blessed with the chance to see him. 

“We may not have known each other for that long, but you’re seriously my best friend,” I whispered against his lips and watched as he smiled.

“W-Well, I’ve never had a best friend before, or even a friend, for that matter.” Eustace hesitantly raised his arm and ran his fingers across my ear, eventually playing with my hair. “But I’d love for you to be my first.”

I grinned and started crying again.

“Kass!”

“I’m sorry!” I wept, placing my face in the crook of his neck once more just so he wouldn’t have to see me break down in full again. “It’s just…nice to feel wanted,” I sniffled, clinging to him. “It’s weird having someone show interest in me, too. At least…genuine interest.” I forced at laugh and made a pathetic attempt to wipe my face. “You might think I’m some remarkable person who’s loved by all, but it’s been a while since I’ve been held, too.”

“Kass…” He quickly embraced me again.

“J-Just once, I’d like for someone to hug me in the way I do everyone else.” I cried softly. “Being a recluse is a terrible thing…especially when you thrive off of attention.” I held him tighter, laughing into his neck. “How humiliating is that?” I mumbled. “And I ran away to a place where my kind is despised, as if that would make anything better.”

“Didn’t it though?”

“W-What?” I felt an odd tingle run down my neck and leaned back, though I wasn’t able to move far. Eustace held onto a slight smile, and we glanced up at one of my antennae wrapped around his.

“By the looks of it, Iinowae has treated you better than your home.”

I watched our bulbs dance around each other and the contact kept causing Eustace’s ears to twitch. I slowly increased the gap between us, so they’d separate, worried it’d make him uncomfortable. Either that or give him the wrong idea even though I can’t control it.

“Well, you have. Much can’t be said for other Iinowaens.” I sighed.

“Isn’t one better than none?” 

“Yes…” I chuckled to myself while staring at my lap. “Maybe we’re soulmates. Took us thirty years, but…”

“Now we can finally breathe. I’d believe it.” I glanced back at Eustace’s smile and noticed his watery eyes. “W-Who knows? At the end of the day, I’m just happy to have…someone. Someone good to finally balance out the evil.”

I chuckled and leaned into his neck as he held me again. “What’s the evil? You? Iinowae?”

“…Yes.”

“Eustace, you’re not evil.” I wrapped my arms around him and closed my eyes. “Maybe you believe you were raised…that way? Or to think that way? Regardless, the people who controlled you aren’t here anymore.”

He hesitated. “They’re here in spirit,” He whispered, holding me tighter.

“Not for long,” I felt a tear fall from his face onto my shoulder. “I’ll do everything in my power to grant your one wish. Especially since it doesn’t seem to require much.” I chuckled. “All I have to do is be myself. And that’s enough.”

“And it’ll always be enough.”