Singing and Songbirds

Thesalia sighed as she finished packing up her belongings into her pack and finished taking down her small makeshift camp. Thesalia had just returned to the underdark after venturing up to the surface with a passing caravan years ago, dazzling them and anyone who would listen to her with her lute as they went about their travels. 

She had been gone from the underdark, her home, for 240 years. She had traveled all around and learned much of the surface, but she had decided that after all those years that it was time to come home. She had left out of anger, despair, and frustration all those years ago; after her brother in law ripped her precious nephew from her and cut short his future. 

Why Nimrius thought that his youngest, Nalhriir, was fit to take the test of Lolth was still beyond her, even all these years later. But what had been done to Nalhriir had been cruel. Her nephew didn't deserve that, he had his entire life ahead of him and so, so much potential. As a bard and a drow, but as a drider he had lost it all. She could still remember his pained and terrified screams as the cleric's twisted his body into a monster's, hear his trembling sobs as he realized the depth of what had been done to him...

Thesalia shook her head quickly, clearing her head of such painful memories. In truth she had left because she couldn't stand to be in her sister or family's presence any longer, not after what they had done to Nalhriir, and to make things worse, they didn't even care. But she was getting older, and despite what her family had done, she wished to see them again. 

"It's strange, being back here..." she mumbled slinging her pack and lute over her shoulders and starting her treck back to Menzoberranzan. She was being cautious, of course, as the underdark was quite dangerous. But as an accomplished bard and spell castor she wasn't too worried. She was more than capable of protecting herself. 

As she trekked forward towards her home, she kept her eyes and ears peeled for any danger, ready to defend herself if needed. 

----- 

Thesalia had been walking for a little over two hours or so with nothing of note having happened, or anything to even make her prepare to fight. But then she heard a sound. It was so alien from what she was used to hearing in the underdark; nothing. Except for the drip, drip, drip of water and the occasional scurrying of creatures. She paused and frowned, was that...singing? It was faint, but as she strained her ears and listen closely she determined that that was definitely singing. 

As I sit here alone, 

With none but my aching heart, 

I wish I could grasp again, 

That which was taken from me...

No, she hadn't been mistaken, that was definitely singing, but it was odd to hear anything making such noise in the underdark. It wasn't an especially safe thing to do, but as a bard herself she was drawn in by the music. It sounded quite sad, and she wondered who the voice belonged to. Whoever was singing was clearly singing their emotions out. She could hear the pain in the words and the owner's lilting voice. 

Oh, I wish I could return, 

To that which I have lost! 

But alas I cannot, no matter how much I wish it...

She followed the sound of the singing to a small clearing in a grove that was surrounded by an assortment of mushrooms that glowed softly. There, in the middle of the grove, sat a drider. Thesalia quickly ducked behind one of the larger mushrooms leading up to the clearing, knowing that driders could be very unpredictable creatures. She did not want to tangle with one, especially not by herself, but she had also never seen this type of behavior in one before. She was very curious as to why this drider was out in the opening, let alone singing, of all things. 

From behind she couldn't quite tell its gender, but from how the drider's singing voice sounded, she assumed him to be male. 

He was far enough away that she couldn't make out too many details about him, but she could see that his carapace was black with red arching stripes over his abdomen and red at the end of his eight spindly legs. His legs were pulled up towards his thorax and abdomen in a position that she assumed must have been comfortable for him. She also noticed that his hair was quite long, and though it was messy and disheveled, she could tell that the braid looked like it had taken some time to prepare.  

I wish that I could go home, 

I miss my twin and I miss my lyre, 

I miss the way that my music marveled and lite up dance halls...

Thesalia listened to his voice as he sang, and though the voice had an underlying reverb to it and sounded a little scratchy, it was still quite lovely and strangely familiar. The timbre and the tone, she had heard them before...

"Surely not..." she breathed as her mind mused to the slim possibility that the drider she was listening to was actually her nephew. That would be too much of a coincidence, right? And it had been so long, if this was Nalhriir, he would certainly be a changed person. Driders were violent and instinct driven creatures, surely her sweet nephew hadn't survived the change and the years of isolation. 

Against her better judgment, Thesalia crept out from behind the mushroom and stepped closer to the drider. 

I wish that I could-

Suddenly the drider stopped singing and choked back a sob. Thesalia watched as the drider's upper half pitched forward, likely because the drider had buried his face in his hands. She watched him cry for a minute or so, and her heart ached. Even the drider's sobs sounded familiar. Oh she was going to regret this, wasn't she? 

"Hello?" She said suddenly, standing up from her hiding place. Startled, the sudden voice made the drider jump, his legs scrambled to get under him as he quickly stood up and he spun around. Though he was still a little bit away, Thesalia recognized his face. It was Nalhriir, even after the changes his face had undergone, she still recognized her nephew. 

The two stood ramrod stiff as they stared at each other, but it was soon clear that Nalhriir did not recognize her. He raised his front most legs in a threat display and hissed. "Go away." 

Thesalia paused and contemplated her next move. It appeared as if he did not recognize her, but she wasn't sure if he simply just didn't remember, or if she was too far away for him to see her clearly. 

"I mean you no harm..." she said slowly holding both hands up and taking a few steps closer. 

"GO. AWAY." Nalhriir repeated, growling and baring his fangs. He reached his hand behind his back to grab his crossbow. Thesalia noticed this, yet she crept closer still. 

"Please recognize me," she breathed anxiously. Thesalia was now about five feet from him and he should have been able to get a clear view of her face. "You know me." 

All sets of Nalhriir's eyes widened as he finally recognized her face. Panicked, he backed up and quickly skittered away in the opposite direction of her, his hands over his face as if he was trying to hide it. 

"Nahl, wait!" She said quickly as she ran across the small clearing after him. She followed him as he fled towards a small cave and watched as he quickly ducked into it.

Thesalia paused as she stopped at the mouth of the cave, caves in the underdark were dangerous, you never knew what could be lurking in them. But she could hear nothing inside so she assumed that the only thing inside it was her nephew. 

She stepped inside and scanned the area to see where Nalhriir was hidden. She cast fairie fire and lit up the shallow cave and instantly saw where the drider hid. He jumped and quickly curled in on himself, as if he was trying to disappear. 

"Nalhriir...?" She asked softly, walking closer to his trembling form. 

Nalhriir had buried his face in his hands, his messy silver hair obscuring it. His spindly legs were pulled up as close as they could be to his thorax and abdomen and he refused to look at her. 

"Nalhriir? It's okay, it's just me. I don't think less of you, no matter how you look." Thesalia assured him. Nalhriir shook his head. 

"Don't look at me!" He snapped, his voice sharp. "I don't want you to remember me like this, I'm...I'm not the person you knew anymore. I'd rather you remember me when I was whole."

Ah, she thought sadly. He's afraid of what I'll think of him. So my nephew has survived the years of isolation. He's still his sweet self. 

"Oh, my songbird," she said using her nickname for him. "I don't care what you look like. You're still my Nalhriir." She kneeled down and slowly reached her hands out and took his trembling ones in her own. She gently pulled them away from his face and then moved to brush messy bangs from his face. After a few moments, he finally turned to face her, tears streaming down his cheeks from his main set of eyes and the set under them. 

His face did indeed look different, she knew that it would. He had eight eyes now, six above his eyebrows and a pair under his main set. Fangs poked out from under his lips, and his face was scared. But despite all that, she still recognized his face. 

"There we go," she smiled and wiped tears from his cheeks, careful to avoid his second set of eyes. "See? It's still you, I don't care how you look. You're still my nephew." 

The tears came harder and Nalhriir threw himself at Thesalia and wrapped his arms around her sobbing. "A-Aunty Thessa! I-I'm sorry, I let you down! I failed the test!"

Thesalia hugged him back, noticing that his chitin was cool and smooth to the touch. She shushed him. 

"No, no, don't apologize! You didn't fail me! oh my sweet boy, you never deserved this!" She rubbed his back comfortingly. 

Nalhriir leaned back and whipped at his face. "You-you don't blame me? I didn't use what you taught me well enough, if I could have just beaten Callimir, I wouldn't have-this wouldn't have happened!" He sobbed. 

Thesalia shook her head. "No, no, don't you ever think that. You didn't fail me. You could never fail me. It was unfair for Nimrius to force you to take the test. You had no business doing so, and he knew it."

"It was awful, I was so scared!" Nalhriir cried, tears dripping from his chin. 

"I know hun, I know." Thesalia reassured. She tried to think of some way to comfort him, or at least take his mind off of things for even just a moment. "I traveled to the surface, you know," she started. Nalhriir's eyes opened and he focused on her curiously, his hiccuping sobs slowing. "I traveled with a caravan of humans, and played my life for all who would listen!" 

"Really?" Nalhriir asked wiping at his eyes again as he listened, his sadness melting away to be replaced by curiosity. "What was the surface like? I've been up there before, but just to hunt and I didn't get very far." 

"Oh, Nalhriir, it's beautiful! It's not the horrid place that everyone says it is, sure the sun is a bit much," she chuckled remember how badly her eyes stung that first morning she saw it. "But it's filled with so many people and things! So many people, of all kinds, all you could think of! And so many bards!" Nalhriir has stopped crying by this point and his eyes twinkled with curiosity. 

"The surface music is beautiful too! And their instruments are a marvel to be seen! In fact..." she started, suddenly pulling her pack out from behind her and rummaging through it. She had bought a lute, which she intended to learn how to play, but it reminded her too much of Nalhriir so she never learned in the end and was now unsure what to do with it. But having run into Nalhriir entirely by chance, she knew exactly where it belonged. "this is for you!" 

Nalhriir's eyes widened in shock and then delight as he took the beautifully carved lyre into his clawed hands. He hadn't held a lyre since he had found one all those year ago, and broke it in a fit of rage. 

"This...I can have this...?" He asked in disbelief. The lyre was truly a work of art, carved out of what he assumed to be rosewood, with delicately carved floral details and ironically, a songbird. 

Thesalia nodded. "Of course! I'm not going to use it, and it would get more use in your experienced hands." Nalhriir's smile faded and his shoulders slumped. 

"I...I haven't played in 240 years. I'm sure I've forgotten how to by this point, I wouldn't do it any justice." 

"Nonsense! Once a bard, always a bard," Thesalia assured. "Go on, play it and see how the music comes back to you." 

Nalhriir swallowed and held the lyre delicately in his claws, he was rusty, that was for sure, but he as he plucked the lyre the music seemed to come flowing back, and he was soon playing a tune that he remembered well and often hummed to himself when he was especially depressed. His playing was certainly rusty, but Thesalia could hear his experienced fingers finding the notes once more with ease. 

"There we go," she smiled. "See? You never truly forget!" 

Nalhriir smiled, his first genuine smile in many, many years, and he turned to face Thesalia. 

"Thank you so much Aunty Thessa, I don't think you realize how much this means to me." He said with a deep sigh. He held the precious lyre close to his chest and smiled softly. His fingers itching to play once again and accompany it with singing. 

"Of course," she replied with a smile, happy to see his smile return. "I'm glad to see that it's in good hands." 

"So, how have you been doing? If you don't mind me asking." Thesalia questioned. She was aware that it was a bit of a stupid question, but she had to know. Nalhriir fixed his eyes on her and stared at her a moment as if to silently say: 'what do you think?' But after a long moment of silence, he replied. 

"I survive. I fight when I have to, and kill when I need to. It's a bleak and never ending existence. But singing sometimes helps. I think this lyre will help to. And seeing you has been...nice." He paused for a moment, the look in his eyes showed that he was a mile away. He hadn't eaten for a bit and the haze of feral instincts was beginning to creep closer in. He blinked and then continued. "But it seems that I'm destined to keep running into familiar faces. First Pharius, then Faera, and now you. I wonder who else I might run into now, seeing as that seems to be a trend. 

"You've run into your siblings?" Thesalia asked in disbelief. Pharius had actually let him live? That was a shock. 

"Yes," he replied simply. "I do not wish to see Pharius again. I will kill him if I do." A look of feral rage crossed over Nalhriir's face for a moment before it was gone just as quickly and he continued. "I wouldn't mind seeing Faera again. And I don't want to run into Nathrae. Or mother or father. I've no doubt that they would kill me on the spot." 

There was another long, awkward moment of silence between the drow and the drider as they sat in silence. The only sound heard in the cave was the shuffling sound made as Nalhriir adjusted his legs. 

"I wish there was a way that I could help you." Thesalia said suddenly, breaking the silence finally. Nalhriir turned  to her and blinked. 

"I think you've helped enough," he said gesturing to the lyre. "I've gotten to see you again, and you've given me a piece of my old life back. I think that's enough." 

"But-" she said suddenly, looking dismayed. "I want to help you more, maybe you could live with me, I could leave menzoberranzan, or I could find a way to return you to normal, or-" 

Nalhriir placed a hand on hers and shook his head. "No, I don't think any of that would be possible. I've been a drider for 240 years now, I'm used to the isolation, and if this was reversible, which it's not, the magic that would have allowed that has long since settled into place." 

"But-" 

"No, I've accepted my lot in life. It's not something I would have chosen, but it's what I was given. I don't like it, but I've come to accept it." Nalhriir added, leaning back against the cave's wall. Thesalia was silent for a moment bust sighed. He was right, no matter how much she wanted, she couldn't fix this or make his problems go away like when he was a child. 

"You're right." She said finally after a long stretch of silence. 

Nalhriir moved to stand suddenly, the moment making Thesalia jump somewhat when the drider suddenly moved. "I should go," he said looking down at his aunt. "I haven't eaten in a bit and I need to hunt." 

Thesalia bit her tongue to keep from asking what driders ate, and nodded. 

"This is farewell then," she said standing too. Nalhriir reached behind him, placing the lyre into his pack and leaned his upper half down to hug Thesalia. 

"Thank you again, Aunty Thessa. You've cheered me up more than you could know, I mean it." Thesalia hugged him back tightly. 

"I'm glad that I could." 

Nalhriir pulled back and stepped out of the cave, looking around to see if the coast was clear. He turned back and gave her a little wave of his hand, signaling that he was leaving, something she remembered him doing all those years ago, before he left her alone in the cave. 

Thesalia sighed deeply and watched him go, wondering if she'd ever bump into him again. But at the very least she had laid eyes on him again and helped cheer him up. And for her, for now, that was enough.