Jealousy (He Isn't Worth It)

Aislinn has been friends with Naoise for many years. They were each other’s best friend and closest companion. They did everything together, and Aislinn would defend Naoise with their life. There’s very few things more important to Aislinn than their cherished friend; one could argue that Naoise is the most important person in the Summer Sidhe’s life.

They wouldn’t be exactly wrong, but Aislinn denies it and would continue to do so until the day they ceased to be. They didn’t understand the depth of their feelings for their closest friend. The two of them were together and always were – it has always been Aislinn and Naoise, not anyone else.

But that all changed when Naoise met a Winter Sidhe who went by Julius. The shorter Sidhe expressed his interest in wanting to befriend the purple-skinned Sidhe, quoting that Julius had no one in his life to call a friend and Naoise wanted to be one for him.

Aislinn went along with it, hoping Naoise would befriend the Sidhe, but deep down hating that their dearest friend was trying to become close to someone else. It was them, it always was them, why would Naoise want to throw someone else in their comfortable relationship?

Wait, relationship?

The red-skinned Sidhe shook that thought away the second it entered their mind. He knows Naoise isn’t interested in romantic relationships, and Aislinn didn’t feel that way towards him. 

…Right?

Over time, Naoise became closer to Julius, and Aislinn hated every minute of it. Their friendship was perfect the way it was. Why did this irritable, stupid Winter Sidhe have to cross paths with Naoise and why did his beloved friend have to be so damn nice to want to befriend someone who seems lonely?

Aislinn couldn’t hate Naoise for who he was. They outright refuse to. Naoise is a bright light, shining his exuberance on anyone who comes across his path. Aislinn loves that about their friend. He wants to help everyone and anyone who walks in his life. If he can’t help, he won’t stop until he finds a way he can be of assistance.

It makes Aislinn worry for their friend a little, if they’re being honest with someone. Naoise is certainly headstrong and stubborn, and while these can be positive traits sometimes, they can also drag a person down.

Aislinn realized this years ago, and thus tries to help Naoise when he gets overwhelmed with trying to help and not being able to. There are other reasons the latter gets stressed, frustrated, or worried, but no matter the reason, Aislinn always tries to help.

They always try to help steer him on the right path. The last thing Aislinn wants is for Naoise to lose himself trying to do what’s best for others.

Their relationship was fine. Why did Julius have to walk in and ruin all that?

The Summer Sidhe notices Naoise hanging around with the Winter Sidhe more and more, and it makes a snarl curl their lips. They can’t, they won’t, hate Naoise for befriending the other Sidhe. But does Julius really have to take up all of Naoise’s time and ask him to help with the stupidest of things that could easily be done by himself?

Yeah. Aislinn hates Julius. Loathes him. Wishes he would just disappear. 

Their relationship with Naoise was perfect when it was the two of them. Why did stupid Julius have to waltz his way into Naoise’s life and ruin the perfectly fine relationship he has with them?

Hell, Aislinn hates being this ticked off and annoyed about things, but especially something concerning Naoise. They can’t, they won’t, be angry or irritable at Naoise, but that doesn’t mean they can’t direct all these pent-up negative emotions towards Julius.

The Winter Sidhe better not cross paths with Aislinn or so help him.

Yet when that thought crosses the Summer Sidhe’s mind, they bat it out. Even though they’d like nothing more than to get rid of Julius, they know how much the other Sidhe means to Naoise. And the last thing they’ll ever do is hurt him.

…It does sting when Naoise always seems to want to hang around Julius over them, but Aislinn tries, really tries, not to let it bother them.

Naoise had other people in his life, but they were each other’s best friend and confidant. The two of them did everything together. 

But then Naoise had to meet Julius and want to befriend him because the stupid Sidhe seemed lonely and Naoise couldn't stand for that. 

God damn it. 

Aislinn gives an angry swing of their sword, knowing training is the only thing that helps them deal with intense emotions. Corruption is something that can happen to any Sidhe, and the last thing Aislinn wants is to get worse because of stupid, dumb, bastard man–

“Aislinn?”

Jolting in surprise, the Summer Sidhe looks over his shoulder, blinking in surprise when he realizes Naoise stands a few feet away. But a smile breaks out on their face as they put down their sword and stride towards their dearest friend.

“Naoise!” Aislinn wishes he could hug Naoise, but they know their friend doesn’t really reciprocate unexpected touch well. But they really, really want to, so they ask, “Can I hug you?”

Naoise smiles. “Yeah, of course.”

The red-skinned Sidhe bounds over to their friend and wraps their arms around him. Naoise laughs and hugs them back, and feeling their friend’s arms wrap around them makes Aislinn’s mind race and cheeks burn. Pulling back, they rub the back of their neck, grinning at their most beloved person.

…Wait, what?

“How have you been, Naoise?” Aislinn asks, hoping their friend doesn’t notice their cheeks glowing brighter. “I haven’t seen you in a while, I was wondering if you’d forgotten about me!” 

The last part was meant to be a jest, but Aislinn can’t deny the pang in their chest when they say those words.

“Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t forget about you, I promise!” Naoise exclaims with a happy grin. “Julius and I have been doing a lot of things together, and I’ve been showing him around a lot of places. There’s so much of here he hasn’t seen, so I wanted to guide him around.”

…What?

Aislinn fights back the snarl and instead offers a smile at Naoise. “Oh, is… is that so? I’m glad you two have become so close.”

No! No, I’m not!

“Mmhmm! He’s my very best friend!” Naoise remarks as he bounces on the balls of his feet. “I’m glad I met him, because he’s really a great person if you get past all the irritability and stoicism.”

…Your… very best friend?

Where… where does that leave me?

“I… I see,” Aislinn tries to keep their emotions off their face, hoping Naoise can’t see how their world is falling apart by his words. “What else have you two been up to?”

I don’t want to know.

“Lots of things! But I promise I didn’t forget about you,” Naoise adds on when he looks at Aislinn. Fuck. They didn’t want their friend to see anything on their face. Damn it. “I’ve just been busy with Julius and then other things, but that’s why I wanted to come by and see you today, so you didn’t think I stopped caring about you.”

“I… I never thought that, Naoise,” Aislinn murmurs, giving Naoise the best smile they can muster. “I’m glad you have a new friend and that you’re spending time with him. Anyone is lucky to call you a friend, but Julius has to be something special to be your absolute best friend.”

How dare he.

“Yeah!” Naoise grins. “Oh, but there’s an oration coming up, would you like to come with me?” Before Aislinn can reply, the shorter Sidhe continues with, “They’re gonna tell one that I went to listen to with Julius, but I want you to hear it too!”

Aislinn clenches their fist, doing their best to keep their irritation off their face.

Naoise invited you. Don’t be angry. Remain calm.

“I’d love to come, Naoise,” Aislinn murmurs after a beat of silence. “Are you going to be inviting Julius as well?”

Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. I want to spend time with you, only you.

“I mean… Julius doesn’t really want to be around a lot of people, and I’ve already told him some stories that they’re going to be telling. So it’ll be just us!”

Good.

“Ah, I see. I get you to myself this time, hmm?” Aislinn teases, blinking when they hear the flirtatious edge to their tone. Huh?

“Haha, yeah, I’d say so!” 

Aislinn finds themselves glad that Naoise missed the edge their voice suddenly took on. But what was with that?

“Why don’t we spar? I haven’t seen you in a while, so I have to make sure you aren’t getting rusty,” the taller Sidhe says with a wink. There’s the flirty edge again. Why am I flirting with him? I don’t understand.

Naoise grins, nodding and going to the other edge of the training arena. He summons magic in his hands and the grin turns predatory. “Julius has been helping me keep on top of my magic, so you may regret asking me to train with you!”

Julius trains with you, now? That was our thing. Why is he ruining everything!?

Grabbing their sword from where they abandoned it, Aislinn charges towards Naoise, and it’s like nothing ever changed between them. Naoise keeps the other Sidhe on their toes, using his magic to keep Aislinn from getting too close, and Aislinn can’t help the grin that crosses their face.

It’s like nothing ever changed between them.

But something has, hasn’t it?

They were never jealous towards Naoise and his other friends. Maybe it’s because they didn’t feel their position as his best friend was challenged. But now Julius walks into the picture, claiming the title of Naoise’s ‘best friend’, and having that spot wrenched away makes a scowl cross Aislinn’s features.

They were always together. They were each other’s closest companion and truest friend.

Things change.

That doesn’t mean Aislinn has to like it.

Something crosses their mind as they spar with Naoise. They were always close, and Aislinn always respected that Naoise never wanted to date anyone. They were discussing past relationships one day, as friends tend to, and the younger Sidhe admitted he never dated anyone, nor did he want to.

Perhaps that was why Aislinn didn’t let themselves fall for their friend. He was off-limits.

But being apart from him for so long… It makes sense that feelings Aislinn tried so hard to keep buried deep within themselves would burst free when they were apart for the length of time they were.

Stupid, stupid Julius. Why did he have to walk into Naoise’s life and steal him away?

And, gods damn it, why did Aislinn have to realize after being away from him for so long that they were in love with him?

He’s off limits. Off limits. Off limits.

Aislinn repeats this chant like a mantra as they dodge a flurry of magic and charge towards Naoise. 

It’s like nothing ever changed between them.

But things have. Oh, they have.

Naoise has a new best friend.

Aislinn realizes they’re in love with him.

Things can never be the same.

They train like nothing’s different. But everything is. Things can never go back to how they were before Julius waltzed his way into Naoise’s life.

Aislinn refuses to lose their dearest friend to anyone; not to Julius, and not to their own feelings. They’ll keep their love locked tight in their soul, never to be let loose. 

They know their love will never be returned. 

And as much as it hurts, it’ll be okay.

It has to be.

Things can never be the same.