Dear Diary

I was leaning against the railing on one of the decks, watching what was happening at the docks and twirling one of my braids between my fingers. I heard the door close with a slam, someone cursing, something about a draft, and then the steps began moving towards me. A devoma, from the sound of hooves clinking against the metallic deck.

“There you are! I have been looking for you, Sira mentioned that I might find you from here.”

I turned my head, I recognized that voice. It belonged to Beatrice. She was the… Game manager….? Of one of the casinos if I recalled correctly? Spends a lot of time with Sira and has been asking about dad too. Nice lady, workaholic but has what some have described as wine aunt vibes. Not sure what those mean but she’s nice and loves to squeeze my cheek when I pass by when I’m off duty. When I’m on duty, she treats me like any other guard, giving me more respect than most people. It’s always really nice… Though it does put a lot of pressure on me, but that’s what I now need to deal with, this job isn’t easy at times.

“Hey.” I smiled to her as she leaned against the railing, seemingly enjoying the breeze in her hair. I did the same, looking to the horizon.

“It’s such a nice morning today.” She murmured after a moment.

“It is.” I replied and after that we were both silent, enjoying the first rays of the sun on our faces.

“So.” Beatrice began after some time, she turned towards me, still leaning against the railing. I looked at her, tilting my head slightly in curiosity, I wondered what she had to say. “I have heard that you’re something of a thinker.” There was amusement in her voice and I blushed slightly as I cast my eyes down.

Damn you, Atsira, exposing my secrets like that… “I guess I am a little.” What was she planning? Was she going to make fun of me? Was she here to…

“Here.” She smiled and handed me a book with a lock.

Taking the book I looked at it in confusion before turning my golden eyes back up to her. “Why is there a lock? Aren’t books meant to be read?” Her laughter confused me and soon enough I felt her arm wrapping around my shoulders.

“You silly, silly child. This is a diary. Your diary.” Her voice was light as she laughed and pressed a kiss to my temple, much like my eb-...

No.

She wasn’t them. She was nice though and… And… I wouldn’t mind if she had been in my life when I was small. But she hadn’t. But she was now. Like a… Like an aunt. I thought as a small smile rose to my lips, blinking away the tears I focused on the book in my hands.

“Diary? Like… One of those where people write their thoughts and what they did that day?” I asked as I turned the fingerprint locked book in my hands, careful not to drop it.

“Exaaaactly! You’re such a smart bean, Theo. This is a book that you can gather what ever you want. Be it your best recipes, something you have thought but don’t want others to hear, your plans on your dad’s birthday… Anything that comes to your mind basically. Doesn’t need to be anything important even.” Nodding Beatrice reached to turn the book right side up. “Why don’t you head to your room and try it out? I’ll promise to keep Sir-Sir distracted for a bit so he won’t notice if you’re late~”

— — —

Moments later in my suite I laid down on the bed and stared at the lock like it was something I would need to fight against. I hated fighting but I wanted to keep the people safe who I care about. Perhaps… No, that’s just silly, this lock isn’t something that I would need to fight to keep my secrets safe. This lock is something to keep others away. It was my ally.

Pressing my finger on the scanner, I waited it to beep that I’m not allowed to open the book but instead the light of the scanner flickered green and the lock clicked open. I felt a surge of excitement rush through my body and with a happy grin I rushed to get a pen. My favorite one, the blue glittery one that I had gotten on my birthday half a year ago. I had barely used it but I had a feeling that this book would be perfect for it, the designated Diary Pen. Nodding my head I decided that that would be the purpose of that pen, I would use it to fill the pages of my Diary.

As I laid back down on my bed, I opened the first page with an excited grin. But then. What on Erra would I write? What did I want to write about?

After a while I let my head fall on the bed, defeated I stared at the pen in my hand. Perhaps… If I just started writing, no matter what it was. Would that work?

– – –

I don’t really know what to write here, I just got this book from Miss Beatrice and she told me to write whatever comes to mind…
But what if nothing comes to mind? What if there is nothing to write about? Nothing good at least… I guess I’ll leave this first page as it is and move to the second page and try if that would work better?

Actually no, I’ll just continue this page as it feels wrong to give up like that.
I guess I could start with introducing myself a little?

Well, my name is Theorikan, but everyone calls me Theo. Or almost everyone, a lot of my coworkers call me T. It sounds like it’s a silly badass nickname, something that they use to tease me but something also tells me that it’s more of an affectionate little sibling nickname? I do want to think it’s that instead of the teasing one as the little sibling option makes me happy.
It does make me miss dad and the rest though… I want to go back home, help dad with the bakery, tell Prince my secrets and wake up to Truffle knocking my door and asking if I still have cookies from the day before.
Why do I feel sad and miss things even though things are fine? It’s not like when I met Wolfe, dad I mean. It’s not like I’ll end up to the streets with an injured ankle like when eb I’m not going to talk about that. No.

Not in this book.
This book is about happy times! That’s the meaning of a diary!
Right...?

Oh. I have to go, I'll continue this later! Bye Diary!

– – –

A small smile on my face, I closed the diary and locked the book before hiding it under my pillow.

I think that that diary would appear useful after all! I could write my pains and sorrows as well as my joys and happy moments in there.

But now, work.