Regret

The darkness, it surrounded the capital and its castle from peering eyes. Deep below ground-level stood the city, only a few lights illuminating the black. Figurin, with their night-vision, had no problem navigating this place, for it was the darkness they were born in. A few caves lined the city’s rim, lucent with colorful light. For one not used to the darkness, they may take solace near the caves or maybe force themselves to adapt. But it would be a good place to live if you adored the shadows. Though it was dark, figurin society had no problem weeding out problems, their keen minds and special eyes tracking down every criminal that may roam the grounds. Most were tricksters, though, but they held a sense of boundaries. If one of their friends had feigned annoyance toward them, the figurin would try to stop, minds set on forming important bonds. Though their emotions weren't as strong as the other races’, they still felt sorrow and pity and anger. Sometimes, this feeling could become overwhelming. Sometimes, for a few days, their ability to shapeshift would be clouded away because of this, in attempt to manage the chemicals sent to their brains. Crying was rare, only happening to those if something truly traumatic happened or something life-changing in a positive way rolled into their heads. Otherwise, they held their feelings to themselves, bottling them up as if they did not exist.

But soon, an event would happen, an event that would cause one to reevaluate all of her decisions in life. An event that would make her regret all the anger felt, and the violence she wracked on her fellow friends and nations.

Deep in that castle, in the deepest floor lied the ruler Iferclu. She rested on a simple mattress, this room being her only solace from her mistakes. It was because of her, right? That her upset nature and constant fighting drove away her superior. He was gone, now. He left this world to die, for its inhabitants had all gone mad. They waged war among themselves, not seeking peace. With this, the Queen had continued her campaign of hate toward Riavelon, even after her brother’s demise. They had a new ruler now, her name was Hymn. Apparently, she turned out to be one of the last living saeols left in the world, her life protected by her men. But Iferclu couldn't help but hate her for taking on the corrupted emperor’s land, her dead brother’s land. She knew well she couldn't kill him herself, so those damned visionaries took it for themselves. They were all gone now, leaving her angry and much more violent than ever. This messed up world would be forever haunted by Emperor Ignis’s ghost because of the legacy he left on it. His legacy would stand strong throughout this realm’s existence. Furiously, she'd waged hatred toward Riavelon, fighting endlessly with her allies.

And because of this, He couldn't stand it anymore.

That sibling of his, Eon, told everyone that He wouldn't return, that you should all regret your decisions of choosing violence over diplomacy. This was her punishment. To deal with that Creator’s sudden leave, a permanent leave she'd heard. He was gone, and now she would be the one to blame. The people of her country, the people of this entire realm, all left without the being that allowed them to exist in the first place, simply because no peace could be found. Gods, thinking of this made her feel many emotions all at once. The Queen felt angry, sad, confused, even maybe pitiful for her higher-up. He dealt with years of this beforehand, so many years of His creations practically tormenting him with their constant fights and bloodshed. He saw so many souls ascend, up into His reality, the one where He dwelled. He saw Iferclu and His other subordinates hurt each other in all ways. That man, he already had so much to deal with in the beginning before she made it all even worse. The figurin knew well of His emotions, those of which He gave Himself billions of years ago. She knew how much she'd messed up. He was gone. Gone. This world would be left to rot, and it was all of her fault for making it worse.

Suddenly, Iferclu heard someone knocking on the door. Locked it was, as prior she didn't want any of her retainers to come barging in and asking what's wrong. She supposed she couldn't avoid now, though, “Who is it?!” She yelled toward the noise.

“It's me, Lamia! Let me in! What's going on in there?’

Iferclu arose from the mattress and landed on soft carpet, dappled with dull reds and blues. Her desk was left with a nice stack of papers, ready to be sent by tomorrow morning. She barely got time to lament on her stupid mistakes, mostly discussing laws, regulations, etc, but today she pushed those all aside to have feelings of self-destruction. It wasn't good, of course, but it was all she had.

“Come on! Open the door already! You've got to tell me what's wrong. You haven't come out of your quarters for the entire day. It's evening now, I hope you realize this.”

Iferclu flicked her wrist and a key appeared right in her hand. Heading over to the door, she inserted the key, twisted it, then opened it to reveal Lamia, a concerned expression painted on her face, “You know, I don't want any company.”

“That's a lie. Let's go in.”

That woman was right. Being alone for the entire day while being engulfed by regrets wasn't really anything she wanted to do for the rest of the day. Moving to the side, her friend walked past her. After a few moments, she followed along, eyes looking dreary and tired. Sitting at the desk, Lamia stared at her Queen and smiled, “Okay, what shall it take to make you feel better?”

“Nothing. Let it go.”

“That's false. If you look terrible, I have to do something to improve your mood.”

“You're powerless to do anything about what I'm upset with.”

“I might be, but I'll try anyways.”

Iferclu looked at her like she was trying to survive on one of Eph’s moons. This was futile, nothing could affect the future of this entire realm. Nothing could change the past.

“Just go. There's nothing you can do.”

“Look, just vent to me. It's easy.”

“It won't make me feel better, regardless if I do or don't.”

“I bet you will feel better. Come on, now.”

She groaned. Why was this woman so persistent? That was a good quality to have in some cases, to be endlessly concerned for your friend, no matter what they said. She was stubborn, her decisions always being final. They might have lost Serias to Riavelon if Lamia didn't choose and stay with her men to protect it to their last death. Maybe that would've been the better choice, actually. He would have stayed, then, and this world would be able to prosper in the future.

“Lady Iferclu. You're zoning out.”

Reverie broken by Lamia’s hand, waving right in her face, Iferclu’s mind quickly came back to reality. A loud sigh escaped her mouth as her red eyes went back to her subordinate, “I understand. Now, I wonder…”

“What are you wondering?”

Tapping the desk with her claws, Iferclu looked Lamia right in her eyes, “How you've been able to deal with me for so long.”

“Is that what you're upset about, milady?”

“Only part of it. This is just part of the story.”

“Can I be honest?” Spoke Lamia, glancing around a little nervously. She entwined a strand of her hair around her fingers then untwined it, awaiting her Lady’s response.

“I don't mind, not at all.”

 I want the truth from you. I need to know, desperately.”

Lamia went silent for a few moments, opening and closing her mouth as her 4 eyes looked around in all directions. She was hesitant, wasn’t she? Iferclu would wait an entire day if it was necessary, but luckily, in the next minute, that woman responded, “If I’m honest, for the past, maybe… 5 to 10 years, you haven’t been acting like yourself. Maybe it’s due to the whole deal with your brother, but… you’ve been much more explosive and angry. You should watch your--”

“I know.”

Quickly, her retainer went silent, “I realized this far too late, however. This mistake… led to a series of fights between my allies and I, and thus… so much violence had washed over this land and perhaps even worlds afar…”

“And maybe, due to my stupid mistake and all the mistakes that came before and after, did I chase out the Creator of this realm permanently. He wants nothing to do with us anymore; we all feign war among ourselves and cause unnecessary suffering, something which He can’t control, if you thought He could. He believed in us. We all failed Him, and now He’s gone. It’s my fault, Lamia. You should hate me!”

That woman, she looked at Iferclu with a shocked expression. It’s true that Iferclu commanded her to do terrible things during the war and even before, but Lamia stayed loyal to her liege, no matter what happened to either. This, though, was something she couldn’t continue to like her for. This drastic mistake, this silly thing she did--

“No matter what you do, I will stay loyal. If He’s decided to give up on you, to give up on everyone in this world, so be it. When it falls, I hope Agol, Cynefrith, and I can be all there with you, always by your side. My decision to dedicate my life to you will never waver, no matter what happens. I swear my life upon you, forever and ever. Don’t expect me to abandon you, Lady Iferclu, ever!!”

Gods, that was loud, but it certainly was a mood booster. She shouldn’t have to worry about His decisions too much. If He was going to abandon them to die, to die in this realm destined to fall, so be it! Honestly, Iferclu did not know what dying was like, but she knew the graveness of it, even simply from mortals. Their bodies were too weak to hold their souls in, and so they escaped, up into His reality. For a few moments, she thought to herself about this. Would she fine fading into nonexistence with her three retainers? Of course, she would, if she thought deeply about it. Iferclu, Lamia, Agol, and Cynefrith were all in this together, no matter what happened of them. She was fine with this, more than fine in fact. Pleasant was this time with her retainer, but most importantly, her close friend. Iferclu looked at her, a wide grin replacing her former frown, “Thank you… I really needed to hear that.”

“No problem, Lady Iferclu. I must take my leave now. I have to sort out combat routines for our trainees. See you tomorrow~” And out the door, she left.

After locking the door, Iferclu went and sat in her chair, staring at those papers she needed to sign. This day, she’d stop fretting about her Lord’s departure. It was time to start anew. It would be until this world’s inevitable end, to keep on going. That’s what He would have wanted right? All this wishful thinking jumped around in her mind, only pleasant thoughts circling all around. She felt thankful for her existence, to be brought to life and thrive and meet all these people, the wonderful times they’d all spent together. It was all…

“He came back. He’s back!”

Her thoughts stopped, mind racing. That voice, it was her fellow deity, ally, and friend, Aegaea, reporting that He was back. With no hesitation, she leaped out of her chair. Even though she still felt guilt for her actions previously, she needed to see if He was fine. That being, He went outside of Neegavia’s boundaries, out there looking for a place to start anew. Iferclu did not feel sure about what chased Him back here, but if He did, she and the others needed to go meet Him immediately. The deity had no time to waste! She unlocked her door and took the key, speeding through dimly lit halls with banners, flowing in the wind as she passed by. Deeper and deeper into the castle she went, until she finally got to the very bottom: Haven’s Rise. This appeared to be her name for the seemingly desolate basement. No lights gleamed in the dark and it was rather cold. But this was where she took herself when she wanted to go up above. Skidding onto the carpet floor, the woman surrounded herself with the darkness. No light would allow her to go up there with no problem. Pitch-black it was, but soon, the hint of anyone being there before faded away into the black.

Elysia.

Elysia, His home. His place of rest and everyone else’s. Fog permeated the air, for most they couldn’t see anything in front of them most of the time. But in the distance, she saw that familiar white shimmer. It burned through the fog, its incandescence filling the air with such a… beautiful warmth, something one couldn’t describe in mortal words.

Lord Extol!!

Overcome by the desire to run, Iferclu sprinted down the dimly shimmering grass, over to her Lord’s presence. Approaching quickly, all the other deities already were crowded around the man, an overwhelmed looking expression streaked all over His face. Of course, He stood among them in human form, hands clasped together, hidden underneath his long sleeves. Overcame with the fervent feeling of wanting to cry, tears streamed down her face as she approached, “I’m so sorry!! For everything I’ve done!”

He was looking around at everyone surrounding him before his eyes focused on Iferclu, “All of it is fine, I promise.”

“No… it’s not! It’s because of me you… you tried leaving… forever!”

“And so-- And I decided myself that I chose to be selfish in that moment. I realized alone, how truly lonely I felt without you all. Only recently did I put in some thought about how meaningful you all are to me, and that I will never say such a thing again, no matter how much I will it in that moment alone.”

“Aaaaaaawawaw!”

She buried her face into her hands, sobbing profusely. Her sister, Azur, came over to her and hugged her, “It’s all fine. Now, you don’t have to hate yourself for something we all did. He forgave all of us.”

“I… did,” Spoke Extol suddenly, “You have no reason to hate yourself for this. I, too, made some selfish decisions in the moment and made you feel this way. I need to apologize, too. I am sorry.”

“You… you have nothing to be sorry for! It was all my--”

Azur raised her three fingered hand and covered her older sister’s mouth, “It’s fine, sis. It’s fine. You’ve got no reason to cry, even if this does feel crazy.”

She felt herself beginning to calm. All eyes were on her, now. Wiping tears from her eyes, Iferclu asked this question, answered prior but she wanted to hear it once more, to see if His words were being processed right, “Why did you come back?”

“I realized I was being selfish after I… I spent my time flying around in the emptiness, the emptiness of space surrounding Neegavia. Luckily, no one from the outrealms--” He glanced around nervously after saying that, “had come to see me on my little break. You know well that those outrealmers are trouble, right?”

“Yes, I do! It’s really good no one inconvenienced you like that, no other beings like you, haha!” Iferclu giggled, “They wouldn’t be able to match your kindness, I bet.”

“Oh… yes…?” This time, He seemed really unsure.

“Lord Extol?”

“I am fine. You may all go back.”

Iferclu felt unsure, but she turned around and began to leave, her sister Azur holding her upright. She felt better now, after this and that happened. Finally, her worries would fade away back into the light, like the stars when it turns to day on Eph. Finally.

-----

Meanwhile… 

Eon’s voice echoed through Extol’s thoughts, a tone of anger resounding through them, “You made friends… with an outrealmer? Are you crazy!?”