The Roles We Play

“MOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!” a young Winny, approximately age 5, cries out in an incredibly shrill voice. Young Xen, age 7, rubs his head irritably at the shrieking.

“Calm down, I only took one. Stop screaming.” He says, devouring the second half of the cookie he pilfered from her well maintained stack with an uncaring shrug.

“That was mine!!” she exclaims, pushing him slightly. “You can’t just take whatever you want!”

“Hey, don’t touch me dweeb!” he retorts, giving her ponytail a yank for good measure. 

“Ouch! Why are you so mean Xen?!” she whines, “MOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!” she shrieks again, to his ear’s dismay. 

At last, her mother heeds the call, silencing the banshee. Tahlin stalks out of the back rooms of the guildhouse, half packed quiver in hand, “What, Winny?” She demands irritably.

Winny winces at her tone, “W-well… Xen took my cookie!” she complains, “He knew it was mine and he took it anyway!”

Tahlin rolls her eyes in exasperation, “God, who cares? You’re stronger than him, just beat him up if he tries anything. I’m getting ready for a job, don’t bother me again.” She concludes, returning to the back of the guild. 

Winny contemplates her mother’s words for a moment before turning back to Xen, “Mom’s right! I’m gonna teach you to never take my stuff again!” she announces.

“H-hey let’s not be hasty…” he sputters, waving his hands in front of himself defensively.

“Too late! Water dragon ROAR!” she shouts, throwing her head back and unleashing a massive torrent of water directly at him. It’s a direct hit, and Xen goes flying into the wall of his mother’s study. The back of his head slams hard into the solid wood, making him see stars. Over at the bar, Freyja, who had been watching the exchange, gives Winny a supportive thumbs up and the young prodigy beams with pride. Xen groans on the floor. Well. That smarts.

Owowow… he moans. Xen starts trying to get up from the floor, but he’s too dizzy to stand and collapses back on to the hard surface. At that moment, the door to his mother’s study opens in response to the noise and Minerva steps out, Ryllae close behind sporting her typical doe eyed expression. Oh great, another lecture incoming… Xen sighs in preparation for the tongue lashing.

“Xen? Honey what happened?!” the windchimes in her hair jingling ever so slightly as she glides over to him, “Let me see sweetie,” she says kneeling down next to him.

“Nothing Mom, I’m fine.” he pushes her concern away.

Minerva takes a minute to appraise the situation, it doesn’t take long to deduce what’s occurred from the large puddle of water accumulated on the floor and Freyja and Winny seated nearby gesturing and chuckling together. Minerva shoots a disapproving glance at Freyja for encouraging their violent behavior.

Freyja just shrugs dismissively, “Hey, the kid got what he deserved. If he doesn’t wanna get his ass beat he shouldn’t be such a punk.” She concludes. Minerva just sighs in response.

A punk…? Is that really what Freyja thinks of me...? Just cause I’m not special like Winny… 

“Here honey, let me help you up.” Minerva says, offering him a hand. His cheeks hot with shame, he takes it. Once she’s dusted him off, she forces him to look her in the eye, “Xen, why do you keep picking fights?” she questions.

Xen folds his hands across his chest “You’re just mad I’m not perfect like HER!” he deflects, glaring at Winny. She merely sticks his tongue out at him in response.

Minerva frowns in understanding, “Xen... you don’t have to compare yourself to Winny. You’re just as important to the guild as she is. We all have our roles to play. You’re essential to Phoenix Wing Xen, don’t forget that. Ever.” She consoles.

Oh yeah? Is that why you spend all your time with her? He thinks to himself, shooting a glare at Ryllae who raises an eyebrow in response. If I were stronger you’d train me instead…

Minerva gives him a last affectionate pat on the head, “I love you Xen. You’re perfect just the way you are.”

“Yeah, whatever.” He says dismissively and stalks off. Why can’t she just leave me alone? He wonders, now where’s Almeric? Screwing with him never gets old.

---

Xen steels himself in preparation for his next action, what he was about to do had the potential to end very poorly for him. The likelihood of an involuntary soaking was quite high in his near future. No, it doesn’t matter. I’ve got to check on her. We haven’t seen her in days… Someone’s gotta do it.

With a resolute sigh, he raises his fist and knocks on the bedroom door three times. After a long pause, there’s no answer. “Winny?” he calls out, “Winny are you there? I just want to talk.” but he’s greeted with only silence in response. Heaving another apprehensive sigh, Xen opens the door and lets himself in. 

“Go away…” mumbles a person shaped lump of blankets from the bed. 

“Nope. No can do kid, not until you talk with me… Or send me flying out that second story window, which I recognize is a very real possibility.” he admits.

The lump of blankets rolls over, “X-Xen?” Winny says with shock. “Why are you here?” she inquires.

Now that she’s facing him, Xen feels his heart sink at what he sees. Winny has always taken great stock in her appearance, but today she looks… less than flawless. No makeup, hair resembling a rats nest, Xen can easily say in all the years he’s known her, he’s never seen her like this. She’s never allowed him to. And she’s wearing sweats, this is serious.

“We’re uh… worried about you.” he shifts awkwardly, “You look… different without makeup.” He observes, trying to break the tension.

She glares at him, “Of course! Sorry to disappoint. Let me get my face on real quick and we can resume this conversation. Because I usually wear makeup while sleeping. Fuck you asshole.” she says rolling back over.

Ah… alright. Sore subject apparently. Yikes. “Well I just… the guild is worried. I just wanted to ask when you’d be back.” he asks as innocently as he can manage.

Suddenly, in a flash, she’s on her feet in front of him and he flinches reflexively, “Have you ever considered that maybe the guild asks too much?” she sneers “Be strong Winny, you have to fight our enemies. Be beautiful Winny, you have to make us look good. Be smart Winny, you have to look out for your guildmates!” she throws her hands up in the air, “Every person I’ve ever admired is gone, dead or evil… or some messy combination of those things. AND I’M NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO BE SAD ABOUT IT! I have to be strong. For the others… Well I’m out of strength... Sorry, but you’ll have to find another poster girl.” she says defeatedly, her gaze challenging him to argue.

“Well… we tried. But I look terrible in a bikini…” Xen says. Caught off guard, Winny actually chuckles at the remark before she can stop herself. “Winny… you can’t really think that’s all we want from you.” he asserts.

“Oh really? That’s what all the articles say about me. If I can’t live up to that reputation what good am I…?” she trails off.

He scoffs, “I don’t give a damn what strangers think about you, you’ll always be that annoying brat with the show-off magic to me.” he admits. 

Her brows raise in abhorrence, “Is that supposed to make me feel better?!” she exclaims.

He rolls his eyes in frustration, “What I’m saying is… I don’t want you to be strong. I don’t want you to be beautiful. Hell, you can even be dumb as hell if you want,” he pauses for a moment, recalling something his mom once said to him long ago… his tone shifts suddenly to resemble the way she’d spoken to him, “I... want you to be you. That’s what the guild needs. We all have our roles to play and you’re so… so important Winny. We need you in whatever form you choose to take. You’re just as important as every other member, no matter what state you’re in. You’re essential to Phoenix Wing Winny, don’t ever forget that.” He feels tears burning at the back of his eyes, but forces them down. For the umpteenth time, he’s filled with regret that he didn’t appreciate his mother more when she was alive.

Across the room, Winny is uncharacteristically silent. She seems to be processing his words though, so he continues. 

“We’ve lost so many people Winny… so many people I considered family. Please don’t let me lose you too. I know we haven’t exactly seen eye to eye on most things, but... you’re like a sister to me. Please help me save my mother’s guild.” he implores, aware of the desperation creeping into his voice.

Just as quickly as she moved before, she’s suddenly captured him in a hug. He’s stunned for a moment, still half expecting some sort of pain to follow, but it doesn’t come. Instead she sobs into his shoulder and he slowly raises his arms to return her embrace.

“I should’ve known! I should’ve been able to tell it was him!” she cries out, her tears pooling into his shirt.

He pats her back comfortingly and speaks in a low voice like his mother would’ve whenever he’d had a nightmare. If only what happened to their guild could be soothed away like a bad dream… “It’s not your fault, he had all of us fooled. It’s not your fault Winny.” He reiterates.

She only coughs in response and hugs him closer. They stay like that for a while, until she’s finally calmed down enough to speak again and breaks the contact.

“A-alright. I’ll come back” She stammers.

“Thank you.” he murmurs, relief overflowing within him.

“I’m not doing it for you! It’s for your mom ok? Don’t go thinking you got to me or anything…” she counters, he shakes his head with a smirk, “And I swear if you tell ANYONE what you saw I WILL drag you back up here and toss you from that second story window myself!” She threatens.

“Yes ma’am, I would expect no less.” He says, still smirking. Glad to see she’s going to be alright… “See you tomorrow Winny.” he remarks.

She regards him with a grateful expression, “... Bye Xen.” She says, a rare, genuine smile creeping across her face as he turns and exits the room.

As the door closes behind him, he finds himself reflecting on his mother’s words of wisdom once again. The role I’m meant to play, huh...? I think I’m figuring it out Mom. And with a light chuckle he heads off back to the guildhouse.