Herding Cats

To Iscarius, it didn’t feel as though he’d been talking for long but when he glanced away from his research poster, his test subject was slumped. She’d done a good job of resting her chin on her hand giving the illusion of attentiveness but unfortunately, while the eye makeup she wore was beautiful, it did make it obvious to see when those eyes weren’t actually open. A large orange cat was on the table, licking crumbs from the leaf she’d been using as a plate. He smiled and put down his pointing stick as he moved over to her. He gingerly shooed the cat, which glared at him before slinking off at a leisurely pace, and sat adjacent to her. Lightly he touched his fingers to her forearm.

“Luci?” he said softly.

Her head jerked up, back straightening. “Oh wow, so interesting!” she said by rote. She blinked, realising that Iscarius was no longer stood in front of the large, elaborate poster hanging from the wall but sat next to her. “Ah, you’re done. Your talk was…” 

“Boring?” he suggested.

“Informative,” she corrected, pointing a finger at him then using it to push the glasses up the bridge of her nose. They’d slipped down as she slept. She sucked her plump, glossy lower lip into her mouth and chewed it a moment before adding: “You could add a bit more lilt, though.”

“Lilt?” 

She nodded, the bright red tendrils of hair bouncing about her face. She looked especially pale in the soft teal glow his home emitted. “Yeah! Lilt!” She frowned briefly as though confirming that was the right word and nodded again. “Lilt! Like you know when you sit writing numbers for ages, then you finally write a bigger number, and you get all excited and tell me about it?”

His leafy brows furrowed. “I guess so.”

“Yeah! See, you talk about those numbers like you just killed an Elder Dragon with a fork. You should talk like that when you’re giving your presentation.”

“With a fork?”

She gave him a flat look. A piercing howl took her attention though, glancing to the doorway then around the sides of the room and finally back to Iscarius. “What’s with all the cats?”

A vast array of furry felines were all about the room, lounging on furniture or darting about after wafting seeds and leaves. They hid in the plants or hung from branches. They were everywhere.

Iscarius cringed and drew his shoulders in, whispering as though afraid the cats might hear him. “I don’t know where they keep coming from! And now they won’t leave!”

“Iscarius,” she said, with a serious tone. She straightened her back and clasped her hands on the table as though about to interview him. “Do you remember the talk we had about that red panda? The one you fed and that then followed you to Kryta and back?”

He gnawed his bottom lip and looked at the table, studying its soft shroomy flesh. “… no.”

She frowned at him over her glasses like a stern librarian. “Isca…”

“I didn’t think they’d know where I live!” he said with a hint of desperation. He looked up at her with his wide, dark eyes. “And… I mean, it’s not that-” 

Luci put her hands beneath the table without removing her eyes from his and lifted them up again, holding a mildly confused grey and white kitten. 

“-bad.”

Luci put the cat down next to her plate and the sylvari shied away from it. “Isca, you’re scared of animals,” she added sternly.

“I- I know but if I keep out of their way they leave me alone most of the time, sometimes.”

She sighed and shook her head, though there was a faint smile playing on her lips. “You’re hopeless. But! I’m not here to get you in trouble for feeding stray cats. That’s tomorrow. Today you’re gonna get good at talking smart stuff to smart people.” She pointed at the poster. “Get!”

He flinched and scurried back to the poster, skirting around two cats and a frog as he went. He cleared his throat, straightening out his grey and blue cloth clothes. They were desperately uncomfortable but he’d waited three and a half years for his Priory uniform and would have to wear it when he presented his research anyway. He may as well get used to it.

“Right, now give me the talk again,” Luci said with a firm nod. 

“Like I’ve got a fork?”

She huffed. “No, like you’re fighting an Elder Dragon!”

A look of horror flashed across his face, the glow of his fronds dimming almost to extinction. 

“Urgh, okay,” she said, thinking for a second. “Talk like you’ve just found a really good number.”

“A good one?” he asked, perturbed.

“Yeah! Like, one of the ones that makes you wake me up when I’m asleep on a book.”

He pondered a moment then nodded. “Okay,” he said. “I think I’ve got it.”

“So, just before you start,” Luci said, “where is this conference anyway? I’ve never heard of it.”

“Oh, it’s um.” He frowned a moment then waved a hand dismissively. “It was in the letter, I’ll need to check. I’m sure I’ll be able to find it.”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “O-kay.” She took to stroking the kitten’s fur, as it had curled up next to her elbow. “Right, c’mon Green Stuff! Wow me with knowledge! Then maybe after we can wow each other with other stuff.” She threw him a wink and he half thought he knew what she meant.

Iscarius started his talk again, channelling himself back into the moment he was just making these discoveries, to those moments when all the pieces finally clicked into place, when he realised just what he was looking at. He became more animated, his speech and gestures conveying the excitement and wonder that he felt back then. And he knew right then that he could give this talk and there was no way in this world that the audience wouldn’t be every bit as amazed and enthralled as he had been. Luci was a genius. She’d found his confidence and handed it to him. She was his muse and with her help he had finally brought this presentation to life.

Iscarius talked with renewed vigour and zeal, fingers sweeping over diagrams and hands shaping concepts. With a grin of relief and delight, he turned to Luci.

She was asleep. Again.