Forgiveness

Dearest Gwynvalis,

It has felt like eternity since I was last able to set my eyes upon you in your glory. How many years has it been since I last stood in your presence? While time passes taking with memories in tow, I still hold dear the memory of your face and pray one day I shall be guided back to you. I know this letter may never reach you with the path your travels lead you, and yet I cling to my foolish hope that this finds its way to you. Foolish actions by a foolish man, a man who left your side without ever truly thinking of the toll my disappearance would have. In some ways I have changed, and yet still I find ways to falter when faced with you.

You must think of me as dead, and for that I only blame myself. After all, how can one think of an old associate as alive when they vanished from the battlefield with not so much as a farewell? Even if I had all the time in the world, I fear I can never apologise enough to you to begin to make up for the the actions I have taken. Not a day goes by where I do not regret what I did on that day. Before I left our alliance was rocky at the best of times; how you never took the blade to me I cannot say. To call our association uneasy would not begin to truly describe the relationship we had in those times and the torment I must have brought you as the days went by. While you were just and kind, I brought trouble to our party at every turn leaving you to tie loose ends. I still recall the time where you almost died protecting me after I had started that drunken brawl in the tavern we were to be staying in. The others travelling with us had gone to rest, refusing to stay with me as I wasted my life away drinking and yet despite our differences you kept me in good company.

I cannot recall what had provoked me to action back then and often I find myself wishing for the chance to know. Whatever the reason may have been, I can say with certainty that it was not worthy of the sacrifice you almost made for me that day. You could have easily left me that night alone to rest as the others had but yet you stayed. If it were not for your actions that night, I am almost certain that I would not have made it through the night. I owe you a debt larger than any coin or treasure could ever repay. The time after I left you all was when I began to change for the better. In my isolation I met reflection, and in reflection I saw many a debt and mistake which I am still yet to recompense. While written words may make for little proof, I swear to you that I am no longer the selfish rogue that ran away a coward.

While it may take a lifetime to begin to earn my redemption in your eyes, I shall gladly pay that price. For all that has happened between us, it is the least I owe you.

I look forward to the day we may yet meet again, so I can perhaps begin to earn your forgiveness and stand by your side once more.

With deepest respect,

Tyrfaelor