Take a Moment

His hands were calloused.

There was a rough texture to the center of his palms as he dug his fingers underneath Kenji’s clothes, coasting down her body in hungry and hasty strokes.

Terror washed over her like a freezing tidal wave when she had first woken up to the rugged sensations of his touch. While still hazy with slumber, she remembered struggling away from his reach, only for Garagumi-sensei to silence her with a slurred command.

“Silence,” he hissed, the heat of his breath fanning out against her neck. It reeked of sake, he’d been drinking again. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes as he pinned her feeble body down with his muscular frame, his hand wrapped around her mouth. “Let me enjoy you for tonight. Be a good student for me.”

She didn’t like this.

Her skin itched, flaring with discomfort. She tried to speak, only for a muffled squeak to escape from her while his fingers continued to trail down lower and lower.

She remembered how painful it had been, how rough he had been. His demands for her to stifle her screams were a constant echo in the chambers of her mind, his pace quickening in an agonizing back and forth.

She remembered wanting to die in those moments.

The pain had been so much that she wanted to stop breathing altogether.

~*~*~

Kenji jolted awake from her tatami mattress.

She felt the air leave her lips as she struggled to breathe. Tears gushed down her cheeks, stinging her eyes. A choked sob racked through her body, shuddering her shoulders as she buried her face in her hands.

It had been years since then.

Why did she have to remember it now?

Just then, she felt a pair of arms wrap around her. She went stiff for a moment, was ready to elbow whoever was behind her, only to let her muscles go slack when she recognized that smell.

Aoi.

A familiar constance in her life, a friend.

She’d always smelled like nature, like a mowed lawn or the dewdrops on a blade of grass after some fresh rain.

Aoi didn’t say anything as she embraced her, just allowing for her actions to express the rest. She had never really been one for words when it came to moments like this.

After letting the realization sink in, Kenji noticed something wet dripping down the back of her shirt.

Aoi was crying too.

“I’m okay,” she tried to reassure, even though her voice was shaking as she fumbled for numb words of comfort. She turned around to face to Aoi, her Yeti arms trembling as she hugged her back. “I’m okay.”

“No,” came Aoi’s reply, low and feeble against her chest. She could feel the broken vibrations of her voice resonating from within her. It hurt to hear her like this. “You’re not okay.”

Usually Kenji would just insist and shoot another determined response right back, but even she knew that it would be a lie.

“You’re not okay,” Aoi repeated, “but it’s okay to not be okay. You’re here now. You’re safe.”

“Okay.”

Kenji didn’t say anything else. There was nothing else to say. Instead, she just closed her eyes and buried herself in Aoi’s arms.

And that was enough.

She let herself to be rocked and swayed by Aoi, let herself be spoiled by the warmth of her hug, and then she heard a hum.

Something akin to a lullaby left Aoi’s mouth, ringing in the delicate atmosphere around them.

“Take a moment to ask yourself,” she sang, a raspy and croaky quality to her tune. “Take a moment to look around.”

Kenji couldn’t help but laugh. A snort of giggles erupted from her, quaking her shoulders as she blurted out, “You’re an awful singer.”

But Aoi just continued, a hint of a smile quirking up her lips.

“Look around, look around, and see how lucky we are to be alive right now.”

Kenji had heard these lyrics before, was all too familiar to them. She heard them being sung to Aoi once, when Juvia had been ushering her to sleep after a vigorous day of training.

“Look around, look around, and see how lucky we are to be alive right now.”

Kenji figured that there was no way she would be going back to sleep after this, but somehow, by some miracle, Aoi was actually pulling this off.

Even though every word was off-key and she continued to sound like a disaster, there was a raw strength behind her singing. And when her voice began to crack, but she continued to push forward anyway, it was an effort that melted away what was left of Kenji’s anguish.

And for the rest of that night, she slept well.